A/N Still bear in mind English is my second language.
Thank you very much for the lovely reviews Dagdrommer. I love to know that my ramblings are appreciated by others than myself. The shopping cart thing is just so classical. I often go to the supermarket needing just three things and come home with far more than that;-)
Greg had now worked three weeks in the lab and was beginning to build up his routine.
He would walk there taking a slightly different route each night to familiarize with the neighborhood. Once there usually 20 minutes early he would put his lunch in the fridge and brew a new pot of coffee. Then deposit his backpack in his locker; put his lab coat on and retrieve his coffee before entering the DNA lab. Here he would play catch up with whatever the other shifts had left over along with processing what came in during his own shift.
Tonight started out like the others until Nick came back all angry and snapping at anyone within a 10ft range. He stormed into Greg's lab and practically threw his samples at Greg.
"Page me when they're ready!" Nick's voice was high pitched and on the point of breaking.
"You don't…" Greg trailed of as he saw the desperate anger in Nick's eyes.
"I'll do them as fast as the machines allow me." Hoping it would prevent Nick from tearing his head of. He had never seen the Texan in such a state it scared him and he felt his own energy drained right out of him.
Nick took off to the locker room without saying or doing anything else.
He spread out the samples Nick had dumped and started to analyze them. Sometimes he felt blessed that he didn't have to see the actual victims; that he would just have swabs with saliva, blood or semen. In this case there seemed to be all three and some scrapings probably from under somebody's fingernails.
"Did Nick come by?" He jumped by the sound of Warrick's question, the man had a feline stealth and several other cat qualities.
"Oh yeah. What's up with him?" Greg said as readjusted on the chair.
"Child abuse according to Catherine. He ain't too good with that kinda thing."
"I think he headed to the locker room. But I've never seen him so… upset."
"Thanks Greggo, I'm gonna go check on him."
Once he had the results ready he paged Nick hoping that he had calmed down.
A rather dazed Nick came and got the results, Greg gave him the short version and the other man left without saying anything in return. He returned to his other samples and when he had just started to see the end of the line Catherine came in with a rape-kit.
"Cases like those tonight make me hates this sinful city." She stated meekly.
"Guess I'm the lucky one, I don't get to see the ugly stuff. I just get nice small contained samples."
"Hmm. Do you know if Nick is around? Cases with children don't go well with him."
"Not since he came and picked up his results. He looked dazed and smelled of mint on puke." He'd only now realized it and his brain didn't catch up with his mouth.
"According to the short recap Grissom gave me, it is very understandable."
"Well you can spare me the details." It was hard enough dealing with the image of an upset Nick he didn't need mutilated children to go with that.
The night dragged it self towards sunrise, it felt like a long winter night in Oslo. He finished his shift and on his way to the locker room he saw Nick leaving obviously in a hurry.
"I come here to wind down!" Desperately he tried to remember what kind of case Nick had been working on the first night he was here. When he came up short he decided to go to the club even though he was saving up for that damn couch he had seen two days ago. It took him almost an hour before he arrived and with mixed feelings he recognized Nick's SUV sitting in the parking lot.
With his backpack in the wardrobe he made his way to the crowded dance-floor hoping he would find Nick here instead of in some bathroom stall fucking a random guy. He had covered nearly three quarters of the floor before he saw him. Nick was grinding his crotch up against a tall skinny man. When Greg got a closer look at the skinny man he knew for sure that he was spaced out on something, probably ecstasy.
He danced his way in between them and turned towards Nick taking over from the skinny guy who didn't seem notice much at least he didn't make any trouble for Greg.
It lasted a half song before Nick recognized him and then he just threw his arms around Greg's neck. Song after song they danced with each other, even when he felt like he had lead in his shoes he continued for Nick's sake. Their bodies were hot and sweaty and Greg wanted to touch, to kiss, to caress every last bit of that body right there in front of him. But somehow he knew it would the worst thing to do, Nick needed to trust him not fear him.
Not many slow songs got played at the club, but during one Nick clung to him and asked if they could go home. Greg lead him carefully of the dance-floor and out to the wardrobe where he got his backpack and ensured that Nick had his stuff. Knowing where Nick had parked he steered him there; Nick had surrendered completely to Greg's control.
"Let me drive Nick." Leading Nick to the passenger side and getting the keys seemed like the easiest thing in world. The Texan had up till now proved a complete control freak when it came to his SUV. No putting your feet up, no eating, no dragging sand in and definitely no chance in hell driving it.
He helped Nick getting in and strapped him in. When he entered Nick had pulled his feet up and sat hugging his knees, Greg concentrated hard on adjusting his seat and the mirrors; just so he wouldn't start to panic over Nick's behavior.
Nick had never told him where he lived and right now it wasn't important; Greg needed to keep him safe and his own apartment would work just fine since Nick already knew the place. He had never driven a vehicle this size and it made him feel uncomfortable, but not nearly as much as Nick did right now. It seemed to take forever to get home, once there he parked and took Nick's gym-bag from the back and his own backpack before going to get Nick out. He guided the other man into his apartment and dropped the bags on the floor.
"Ok Nick let's get you of those clothes and into some dry ones." Gently pushing him towards the bedroom. Nick's eyes cleared up a bit and he took the t-shirt Greg handed and headed of to the bathroom. Greg rearranged the pile of blankets on the floor to accommodate sleeping for two rather than one. He slipped out of his own sweaty clothing and brought out and old college t-shirt from the box currently storing his t-shirts.
"Oh Nick, there's a new toothbrush on the shelve beneath the mirror you can use that." It didn't take long before the characteristic sound of teeth brushing was heard.
When Nick finished Greg guided him to the bed and went to the bathroom himself.
Returning to the bedroom he saw Nick sitting and hugging his knees again. He eased himself down next to him and put his arms around Nick for comfort. That movement was like hitting a switch and Nick started to cry. At first just small sobs but they soon gathered strength and along with the heavy flow of tears he started babbling. Greg could only understand a few words such as: babies, sorry, beaten, never, hate and rotten.
Greg didn't speak he just held the other man in a firm unmoving grip, remembering that his dad had always comforted him like that as a small boy. His mother had cooed and caressed but he simply didn't have the energy for that.
After a while he gently guided Nick to lie down, such that his ear was placed on Greg's chest. A heartbeat should be the best thing to calm you down, Nick complied and his tears subsided into sniffles. Greg had no idea how long it took before Nick drifted of to sleep, but he felt an immense relief and allowed himself to drift of as well. For once not thinking about Nick wearing only a cowboy hat.
He was skating on the ice with the other kids when he saw his dads car approaching. Daddy honked the horn a couple of times as always and stepped out of the car, so why did the honking continue?
Greg slowly came up to the surface; remembering that the redhead in number 22 got picked up every evening by a blue '67 Mustang.
His brain kicked into overdrive when he realized he was holding somebody, trying to remember what had happened. Nick had happened. They were both lying on their sides and he had more or less wrapped himself around Nick that had curled into a fetal position. He stayed put figuring any sudden movement would startle Nick. He was convinced that Nick had experienced something real bad once involving children. Had he lost a child of his own or a sibling or had he witnessed some hideous crime committed to a child?
Greg wasn't sure he actually wanted to know; it had the general feeling of Pandora's Box.
He couldn't see his alarm clock from here, but given the honking work was still more than 4 hours away. Nicks breathing was steady and even. Greg hadn't got the most efficient blackout curtains so he could easily make out every single strand of hair on Nicks head. Slowly he studied the sleeping man as much as possible without moving.
He hadn't noticed Nick waking up until Nick grabbed his arm and tucked it even closer than it already was.
"Thank you Greg." Nick's voice was barely a whisper.
"You're welcome." His own reply not much louder.
"What time is it?"
"Four hours to work." Greg said still not daring to move.
"I'm sorry I shouldn't have…"
"Nick it is ok. You needed a shoulder to cry on. And after all the help you've given me, if I can repay you like this I'll be happy to." Giving the Texan a reassuring squeeze.
A distinctive rumble from Nick's stomach made them both laugh and the seriousness lifted from them.
"Ok. Why don't I make us some breakfast, then you can grab a shower. I just have to pee first." Releasing Nick he went to the bathroom, when he returned Nick was sitting up looking around the room.
"You've kept it simple hah?"
"Well wardrobes and beds don't come cheap so this'll do for a while yet." He felt considerably relieved that Nick hadn't bolted out the door.
Greg threw a clean towel at Nick and started for the kitchen.
"Greg have you got a shirt I can borrow, I've only got clean boxers in my bag, everything else is dirty." He winced at the last part but didn't explain it further.
"Sure. Your bag is in the living room and I think I've even got a pair of jeans in your size." Greg dove into a box and Nick retrieved his gym bag.
"Voila." Greg handed him a pair of old worn jeans and a shirt in pale green.
Nick looked at the pieces of fabric offered with an inquisitive look.
"I'll tell you over breakfast."
Greg figured that pancakes would do the trick, he was actually quite proud of his pancakes. He made them from scratch no easy deal with any prefab mix. Soon the smell of coffee and pancakes filled the kitchen and his head reminded him that he had forgotten to drink water after all the dancing. A liter of water and two saline pills later Nick entered the kitchen sniffing in greedily. Looking good in his borrowed feathers.
"G. That smells like heaven."
"I know. Would you mind baking the last few while I shower?"
"Sure no problem." Nick said taking the spatula from him.
Greg showered shaved and did his hair in record time, he was unsure about leaving Nick alone for too long. Nick had just finished with the pancakes and was now rinsing the pan and Greg got a good look of his ass in a snug fit in Sammie's old jeans.
When Nick sat down he started to rub his neck, Greg had seen him do it before but had yet to figure out what it meant; whether it was a sign of pain or tiredness or hard thinking.
"Did you get a stiff neck from sleeping on the floor?"
"Nah, I've just a got a headache, probably because I didn't drink enough water last night."
"Behold the perfect cure is coming up. A liter of water two saline one vitamin and one aspirin ought to do the trick." Greg pronounced as he got the pills out of one the cupboards and placed them in front of Nick.
"Whose jeans am I wearing?" He asked after emptying his big glass of water.
"They used to belong to an old girlfriend." He made a deliberate pause to see the look of disbelief on Nick's face.
"She had a shorter back compared to you, blue eyes and blonde hair, but apart from that her body looked a lot like yours." Another pause to let it sink in.
"She was a soldier with some special group."
"Wow. She must have been something else." Nick managed between two big mouthfuls of pancake.
"Yeah, but she dumped me after having been on a mission." Greg's brow furrowed at the memory and he gulped down half his coffee.
"She came over to my place and said: Listen Greggy I can't do this to you, so we better stop it now."
"I was speechless and had no idea of what she was taking about. She carried on telling me something about the miserable lifestyle we would be living and she not wanting me to suffer like that. I'm guessing she had seen some bad stuff and didn't feel like sharing it. So she grabbed her things and left. But those jeans and some socks and t-shirts of hers were in the laundry. She probably knew but didn't want to come back for them. I had only been to her place twice and hadn't left anything so that was just it when she left."
Greg poured some more coffee and munched down some pancake carefully trying to decipher Nick's facial expression before continuing.
"Her name was Sammie and I had fallen big time in love with her the summer I finished High School and since I didn't leave town to study chemistry I could spend the evenings and weekends with her. It was just after New Years that she dumped me."
"I've never been in love with a woman."
Nick's confession didn't really surprise Greg, but it added to his fear. The fear that the Texan was so far gone in his effort to hide himself that he could never be a whole person; never be someone that could live and love in a relationship.
"I think I've been in love twice. Once in High School and once just after moving here." Nick was fiddling with the pancake on his plate as he spoke.
"The first was all about keeping the secret, no one could know. Eventually we fought over that more than we loved each other. Here in Vegas I broke it off after two months because I thought I had seen Eddie one night when where we out clubbing." The pancake looked like it had had an accident with a blender.
Greg reached out and took Nick's hands into his owns.
"I hope you'll find the courage to fall in love some day. Because it is awesome, butterflies in your tummy, sleepless nights only thinking of that person and the exploring of another body."
"Greg how do you know all this? How come you're such a good listener? I mean you come off all like the energizer bunny at work."
"Well my dad is a good listener and always calm whereas my mother is all over the place doing a million things at once. I know they hoped for me to be in between but good old Greggo became both." Cocking his head and smiling it had the desired effect as Nick's smile also appeared.
They finished their meal and made sandwiches to bring as lunch and did the dishes. Greg had started a monologue about the furniture he had been looking at and wanted to buy, knowing he couldn't handle much more of the serious stuff right now.
On the way to work Nick carefully asked if this day also went to the confidential category, Greg spend 10 minutes reassuring him that off course it did.
"Anyway Nick anytime you wanna go dancing all you have to do is ask. And if you don't want to be obvious we could make a code for it."
"You'll really do that for me?"
"Off course Nick as long as you'll be the strong man whenever I need one."
The shift was less stressful for all and in the morning he walked home enjoying the early sunlight and longing back to the beach. It was the first time he had felt homesick at all. Was it all the stress with Nick yesterday that had brought it on he wondered.
When he laid down to sleep his head was filled with the image of Nick crying and it made his own tears flow in a quiet stream.