Chapter 9

"Ginny?" Hermione said, seeing her friend burst in. Her stomach fluttered, and the look of pain on Ginny's face before she turned and ran made her feel as though someone were sticking red-hot railroad spikes through her chest. It took les than a second for her to realize this, but it was long enough for Ginny to make it out the door.

She was about to chase after her when she realized Ron's arms were still around her and he was saying her name. "Hermione. Hermione, look at me." She came to her senses and took in the fact that she had lost them on account of Ginny, and all the feelings running through her were on account of Ginny... "Yes, Ron? What?" she asked, still preoccupied with trying to figure out what it all meant.

"I have something else I need to talk to you about." He got her attention almost completely with the tone of his voice, but she still stared at the empty doorway, past an uncomfortably shifting Harry. "Ginny can wait a little. This can't. If I wait anymore I don't think I'll be able to say it. I don't know that I'll be able to now." He stopped as she put a finger to his lips and looked up at him compassionately.

"You're rambling. I know we agreed to always be friends, even though you don't think we should go out anymore. So just tell me what it is. We ARE still friends, correct?" she said, surprised at the continuing lack of pain that she should be feeling.

Ron winced, nodded, and took a deep breath. "I need to tell you why I feel like we can't be together anymore." He began, pausing when he heard a noise. Looking over, he saw Harry holding his arm where he had apparently hit it on the door. As he watched his friend disappeared and the door closed in near silence behind him.

Ron shook his head and looked back down at Hermione who was turning back to face him. "And this isn't going to be easy." He said softly, a lump forming in his throat. Harry had told him that this would be hard. How had he known? Even forewarned, it took him by surprise how hard it actually was for him to force the words out.

Hermione smiled – though albeit uncertainly – encouragingly up at him.

In that moment he hated her. Her, Ginny, Harry, himself, and everyone and everything else that made him do what he had just done. In that moment he wished he could take it all back and just hold onto her forever.

But then the moment was over and he only felt pain and the feeling that he was doing the right thing. Because they couldn't live a lie.

"I love you. I think I always will." He choked out, unsure of where he was taking this, but willing to let his heart do the talking. "But you don't love me. No – it's okay." He said, stopping her protests and smiling at her, though the pain was still there in his eyes. She could see it, and it hurt, but she knew he was right. "You love me as a friend. And that'll have to be enough for me. Because you love someone else. I wonder if you know whom yet. I figured it out. Have you?"

Hermione was startled at this question and at the way this conversation was going. She had initially thought that he was breaking up with her because he wanted to be with someone else. But because she wanted to be with someone else? No. She wasn't....

"Think hard Hermione. You're probably the smartest person in the whole school. You know whom. All you have to do is admit it to yourself."

When had Ron become so smart and insightful? Well, she thought, it doesn't really matter. Then she was caught up in doing what he said. She was listening to what her heart had been trying to tell her for a long time.

"Ginny." She whispered opening her eyes, not remembering when she had closed them; she was so deep in concentration. She became aware of what she had said, and how much it had probably hurt Ron, but when she looked up, he was smiling. "I'm so sorry Ron. I really am." she said earnestly, surprised at the tears trickling down her cheeks.

Ron pulled her into another tight hug and slowly started to rock her. "It's okay. You love her, not me. I would be lying if I said I didn't care, or that it doesn't hurt. But you both deserve to be happy. What kind of friend or brother would I be if I kept the two people I love most in the world apart and unhappy for my own selfish reasons?" At some point during this little speech everything that had happened caught up with him. By the end he was sobbing harder than she was.

She got control over her tears and pulled him over to her couch in front of her fireplace. For a while he tried to control his tears, but after she leaned closer and whispered that it was okay, he gave up completely.

After what had to have been more than an hour, Ron's tears had stopped and his head was resting in her lap. He watched the flames as she ran her fingers through is hair and he sighed, wondering if this was the last time this ever happened. Wondering if, despite her assurances, they wouldn't remain friends.

"Don't think about it Ron." Hermione said pulling his mind away from the depressing thoughts he was about to start wallowing in.

"Don't think about what? Are you a mind reader now?" he asked, his voice harsher than he'd intended. "Oh, Hermione, I'm sorry. It's just been a right bloody terrible day."

"It's okay. I just didn't want you hurting anymore and whatever you were thinking about was making you so tense... I don't want to hurt you Ron. I didn't mean to hurt you," she whispered folding her hands in her lap as he sat up.

"I don't mind. Although, in the future, I'd appreciate it if you didn't talk about Ginny around me. I'm sure after awhile it'll be fine, but right now... I don't think I can take it."

"If you love me that much, why did you break up with me? It's not like I knew what was going on." She asked, hating herself for being so thoughtless when she saw the pain flash across his face.

"Because it's not right to keep three people unhappy when there's a chance of only one being unhappy." He said, not caring how confusing his answer was.

It took a minute for Hermione to work out exactly what he had said, and when she did she was both elated and extremely unsure. The elation came from the idea that the third person was Ginny and that the pain that she had seen on Ginny's face was because she returned the feelings. The uncertainty originated from the guilt at being so happy when Ron was so sad. But he had said that he wanted her to be happy.

He looked up from his close inspection of the rug and saw the internal debate played out on her face. "Oh, I'm sorry Hermione. I didn't mean to do this to you. I really do want you to be happy."

The look of sympathy and gratitude she gave him almost made him break down again. "I don't want to hurt you Ron." She said, and he knew she really meant it.

"It's okay. I'll go now. You should probably think of a way to tell Ginny." He suggested, choking on his own words.

"Ron, you're too good to be true." She made as though to give him a hug, but he stepped back.

"Please, don't. I'll talk to you later, okay?" he didn't wait to hear her response before walking out, not looking back.

"Oh Ron..." she sighed. "What have I done to you?"

She shook her head and, after looking at the time, decided to wait to talk to Ginny in the morning.

A/N: Don't you just hate me? I feel so bad about doing that to Ron... I actually like him in my fics too. So, finally updated. It may be a while before I can update again, because while the essays are done and turned in, the midterms looming up next week must be studied for. But I promise to try and write next weekend. Keep reviewing, I love the input!