Padfoot's font

Prongs' font

Hellooooo, readers. We're Padfoot and Prongs, and I'm just going to explain why we're here.

I'm Padfoot, he's Prongs. We've watched everything Harry's been through and had some experiences of our own.

And there are some people we want to thank.

And some gits we would love to get our revenge on.

Even if it is a little extreme.

Not in Snape's and Wormtail's case.

Whatever.

You've been spending too much time with Lily, mate.

Chapter One- Wormtail.

We just HAD to start with him.

Sirius bursts in on a huge Death Eater meeting. "AVADA KEDAVRA!" he yelled. Wormtail died. The end.

That isn't very interesting, Pads. Let me try.

James Potter is walking down the street, rumpling his glorious black hair; he spots a house that immediately registers something in his mind- revenge. He 'BOMBARDA's the door and brandishes his wand, looking like a knight in shining armour. Only not as shiny. Lily would have swooned had she been there. James was just so good looking as he pointed his wand at Wormtail- "CRUCIO! AVADA KEDAVRA!"

That's better? Can you say EGO TRIP? Besides, 'BOMBARDA' is a movie-only spell.

And you can do better? Why don't we do it to-geth-er?

Wormtail trips. And falls. And breaks his nose.

Then he goes to his master, and tells him that he broke his nose.

Because he's too stupid to fix it himself.

Voldemort Crucios him. A lot.

Then he gets arrested for being an idiot. Who can't fix his nose.

Then I come out of hiding, and I laugh at him at his trial.

Then I come out of hiding, too. And I testify that Wormtail was, in fact, the one who betrayed James.

Then I back up your story and threaten to hex them if they don't set you free.

Then I tell them that Wormtail needs to have his soul sucked out. So they do, because I just have this amazing power to make them do what I say.

We watch it and laugh because we're just SO happy.

And Wormtail lives a horrible life.

And Voldemort Crucios him some more.

Then he dies.

Of loss of blood.

Because no one fixed his nose.

That's satisfying.

We can do better.

We shall.

A/N: Hope you liked it. Trust me, it WILL get funnier. Reviews and ideas lurfed. Will maybe do thanks to Moony next. That, or we'll get Snape or Voldemort. Muahahaha!

Till next time- Padfoot. AND PRONGS!