I Miss You

.:Hello there, the angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley

We can live like Jack and Sally if we want:.

It had been three days, three hellish days for James. Not long after he fell asleep in the garden with the wounded Lily in his arms, the parahealers arrived. They took her away from him. She was sent to St. Mungos and he knew she would get the best treatment other than perhaps Hogwarts. But he missed her. He sat alone in his room, pretending to read a book in case anyone should disturb him.

"Prongs?" He heard Sirius' voice come from the doorway. He didn't answer. Three pairs of feet padded along the hardwood floor into the room.

"God man, you'd think you're in love with her." Remus' voice sounded so far away and James looked up at his three friends.

"Merlin." Sirius said looking into James' hazel eyes.

"You are in love with her." Peter finished Sirius' thought. James looked at his feet.

"James…it's okay." Sirius offered. James only shook his head.

"That's what everyone's been telling me…but how can it be okay? Look, I don't know what it is about this girl but everyone's out to get her. First off she was out to get herself and just when that changes, everyone else wants her. I don't understand what's wrong with me. I don't know what she's doing to me." He put his face in his hands and grabbed his hair in frustration. "She's just so magical. And don't you dare laugh Sirius."

"I wasn't going to."

"Yea James, we understand what you mean." Peter piped up, smiling his mousy smile at his best friend.

"Its not only you she's had an effect on mate." Remus smiled too. "We all love her…maybe just in a different way than you do. Why don't we go visit her?" Sirius and Peter agreed, but James was hesitant. He knew why Lucius Malfoy had gone after Lily…it was his fault. It was always his fault.

.:Where you can always find me
And we'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends:.

He had seen her like this too many times. Her red hair splayed across the white pillow, her skin pale and her green eyes shinning eerily in her gaunt face. She smiled as the four boys sat around her. St Mungos was a nice hospital, but as far as James was concerned…it was still a hospital.

"What trouble have you boys gotten yourselves into without me?" She said quietly. "Or…what have you got planned for me when I get out of this god forsaken place."

"Oh Lily, its not that bad here. Three meals a day, who would complain about that?"

"Only you would think about the food Sirius." she shot back. He grinned and she laughed.

"When do you get out of here?" Remus asked, grabbing her hand carefully as she was still attached to a form of IV.

"Gilmore, my main healer, is saying that I should be ready to go sometime tomorrow or the day after. It's a shame that our Easter hols are almost over though."

"You're telling me!!" Peter said, his eyes shinning " We've got so much to buy before we go back to school. We've really gotta get Filch going."

"Sounds like a good plan Wormtail." Sirius said, smiling as well. "And we've also gotta get Lils ready to be an animagus! So she can come join our monthly romps."

"I'd like that." Lily said. She yawned and sighed, her eyes fluttered closed and she opened them quickly, but the boys had seen.

"Don't worry, we'll come back to see you tomorrow…get some rest now." Remus said, patting the back of the hand he was still holding.

"Thanks you guys, I'll see you tomorrow!"

"Bye Lils." They all said as they left her to sleep.

Once out of the room, they were all quiet. James sighed as they walked down the stairs to the entrance of the hospital.

"Well that was fun." He said sarcastically.

"Merlin, could you have been any more morbid Prongs?" Remus said, smacking his friend over the back of the head.

"I could have if I wanted to." James said sticking his tongue out.

"She needs a friend right now, and you were so bloody quiet…I don't even know if she realized you were there you prick." Sirius too, smacking James upside the head.

"Shut up you bloody idiots…you don't understand." James walked through the exit and kept walking quietly down the street. The other three glanced at each other and silently followed.

.:I miss you, I miss you

I miss you, I miss you:.

It was midnight. The house was dark and still. James stepped gingerly across the kitchen to the French doors that lead to the backyard. He wasn't going to sit around waiting for someone to kill Lily…he was going to go as far away from her as possible. He had a bag packed and thrown over his shoulder. His compass for his broom was in his hand and his pocket was full of all the gold he had…he was leaving.

James thought the boys slept in their rooms in the house, unaware that he was leaving. Peter snored loudly and Remus muttered in his sleep. Sirius however, was wide-awake and listening at the door. He wasn't going to let James leave by himself. He would go with him. He grabbed his bag and quietly followed James as he left the house.

Remus sat up in his bed once Sirius had closed the door. His bag was under his pillow and he was fully dressed. He got up quickly and quietly and he followed Sirius out the door. There was no way that he was going to let his friends leave without him.

"So leaving without me eh Jamesie?" Sirius said into James' ear.

"I'd never dream of it Sirius."

"But you'd leave me right?" Remus stepped out of the shadows towards his friends.

"No…of course not." James said, but Sirius stared at Remus in shock.

"Shut your mouth Padfoot, I did it the same way you did. I'm just surprised that Wormtail didn't follow me." They all stood still listening for the littlest of the group, but no sound came. "Oh well…he can be quite the idiot, can he not?" The other two smiled in agreement.

"We can't all go." James said at once. "Lily's got to have someone here when she gets back."

"Why are we going anyways?" Sirius asked his head cocked to one side and his hands fidgeting with his broom. Remus sighed, exasperated.

"Sometimes you are bloody daft Padfoot. The reason Lily's in the hospital now, is because of James. No offence James."

"Oh, none taken."

"Lucius Malfoy did that to her, to get to James. Voldemort's on the rise and we know that James is a target…we just don't know why James is a target."

"I've got to go guys." James said quietly. "Stay here, with Lily…tell her that…oh god don't tell her anything."

"She deserves to know Prongs." Sirius whispered.

"Tell her I'll be back, all she has to do is call"

.:Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time:.

She was back at Hogwarts. They all were. They had been for a week…a fucking week. She silently looked out the window into the darkness. Why did she think he was going to come back…she didn't know. What reason did he have to come back? Remus had told her she just needed to call. But she wouldn't do it. Not yet.

"And really bad eggs…umm…and reeeeeeeeeeally bad eggs!!! What's the next line Moony?" Sirius, Remus and Peter jumped into the common room.

"Drink up me hardies yo-ho." Lily said smiling at the boys. They held their little bag of tricks.

"It is time, mah dearest Lilykins." Sirius said into her right ear.

"That you become a full-fledged, never give up…" Peter said in her right

"Take no prisoners, don't stop 'til you drop…" Remus said to her face.

"Marauder." They all whispered.  She grinned despite her sadness.

"Really?! Oh guys!!! This is so exciting!" She jumped up and down and they all joined in her rejoicing. Remus pulled an old folded bit of parchment out of his pocket.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." He said as he tapped it with his wand. Ignoring what the parchment said, he opened it to show the map.

"Looks like we could use the Room of Requirement." Sirius said pointing to a small square on the map.

"Nah, Professor Jones is circling around there." Peter said, pointing out a name.

"I would say the Shrieking Shack, but it's too hard to get there when we only have two animals." Remus said glumly.

"What about the astronomy tower?" Lily said, pointing to the empty space. There weren't any teachers anywhere NEAR there.

"Good eye Lils." Remus said patting her on the back. "Lets go." They slowly walked out of the tower, glancing at the map every so often, checking for staff…or Mrs Norris.

"It would be so much easier if we had James and his cloak here." Peter said absentmindedly but opened his eyes wide as he noticed Lily's expression.

"You're not sleeping, are you Lily?" Remus said quietly, mentioning the bags under her eyes for the first time. She shook her head.

"I wonder where he is right now." Peter said.

"Wherever he is, he's fine." Said Sirius stubbornly. "There's no way that James Harold Potter is not okay." Remus looked at Sirius and sighed. He glanced back at Lily and noticed her tear filled eyes.

"Why don't you just call him?"

"I can't Remus…I just can't." Remus opened his mouth to ask why. "And don't ask because I won't answer you." He shut his mouth and grabbed her hand.

"Lets get to the tower."

.:And as I stared I counted
The Webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides:.

They stood atop the tower with the potion in the middle of their circle.

"You ready Lily?" Sirius asked, facing her. "Because there's no turning back once you take this…you know that right?"

"I know." She said quietly. "I'm ready." She took a step into the middle and the boys circled around her. She grabbed the potion and quickly chugged it back. She threw the glass to the ground and it smashed, just as she herself fell to the ground.

The boys stood hand in hand around her as she struggled on the cobblestone floor. Remus went to grab her but Sirius held him back.

"Don't you dare touch her Remus, you know just as fucking well as I do what it'll do to her." He stood back, holding onto the other two boys' hands. He watched silently frustrated at not being able to comfort her. She looked possessed. Her body writhed around on the ground between them. The glass from the goblet she had thrown to the ground was cutting her skin and she let out a cry.

"Sirius, we have to do something."

"We cannot do anything, just wait." The boys watched as her body started to change form. Her body got smaller and her skin changed to red fur and before they knew it. She was lying there panting, in her fox form. The boys smiled at each other and let go of their hands. She was an animagus.

.:Like indecision to call you
and hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight
Stop this pain tonight:.

It had been a long night. Lily collapsed in her bed once they had returned from the astronomy tower. She was tired and yet she could not sleep. She hadn't slept since the last time she saw James. She needed him there. She wanted to call him.

'I can't call him' she thought to herself. 'He left on his own accord…he's the one who wanted to leave. Why would he come back because of me? But he did tell me to call if I wanted him back…oh god why is this so messed up.' She closed her eyes and let the hot tears roll down her cheeks. She missed him.

"I know you can't hear me James," she said quietly to herself. "But I miss you…I need you here James. Come back…I miss you"

.:Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head

I miss you miss you

Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head

I miss you miss you:.

James woke up suddenly. His back hurt and he hit his head on a branch as he sat up quickly under the low tree that he was sleeping under. He could swear he heard Lily's voice. He closed his eyes again and focused on her and he heard he whisper, almost as if she were next to him. "I miss you." He grabbed his bag and his broom. That was all he needed.

.:I miss you miss you miss you
I miss you miss you miss you

I miss you miss you miss you
I miss you miss you miss you
I miss you miss you:.

A/N Hallo folks! And there you have it GOD you don't know how long it took me to do that (okay you do…its been a year…I know) but yes, I KNOW it seemed like I abandoned the story but I so did not! I just didn't know what to write. So if you have anything that you want to see happen, other than Lily and James to get together (jeeze, that can't get a break, can they?) just tell me! I'm willing to listen to what you guys want. Now don't go thinking that I'm abandoning this again. I'm going away for the summer so there won't be any updates until September but I hope you liked this one…I know it was long. AAAAAAAAAAAnyways, reviews would be terrific, I hope this was worth the wait (I know it wasn't, but I can be delusional). Have great summers!!! The song was Blink 182 and everything that's not mine…I don't own (JKR's most likely) ciao!!!

KaCcEe