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Previously on Stargate SG-1...
"Major Carter was able to... get her revenge"
"Ok, you guys sound like a bunch of kids!" Daniel exploded "I mean this is like a adult version of Parent Trap!"
Carter blushed. Jack studied the table, while Teal'c looked unmoved.
"I mean... you guys range from 30 to 100! I mean, COME ON!"
"Dr. Jackson?"
Daniel looked over at the General. "Sorry General, I don't know what came over me"
He nodded rather curtly, "Colonel, why don't you take over what happened?"
"With pleasure, SIR. Now..."
Carter moaned.
And now... the continuation!
"Now... Teal'c and I go along, dial it up. No answer, so we come back home. Carter had wanted to stay behind to 'wash out the syrup in her hair and get cleaned up in general'. We being the suckers we are, felt pity on this poor creature and left to her scheming, unaware were we..."
------
Carter grinned evilly and headed for the pantry. Grabbing the syrup bottle, she chuckled. 'This will teach Teal'c to put syrup on the stairs' she thought
------
"She booby trapped the whole place"
"Sir, that's a bit of an exaggeration! Only 5 rooms"
"This house had what, ten, eleven rooms?"
"Twelve actually"
Jack rolled his eyes, "Syrup, water, whipped cream, bubble gum..."
"That's why you got your hair cut!" Daniel exclaimed.
Jack stared at the archeologist. "I got my hair cut BEFORE I left for the mission"
"Right" the archeologist muttered.
"Soda, PEANUT butter, flour, cornstarch, and ALL of the red jello"
Sam giggled and reached for her pocket. "There was one left," she said tossing it to Teal'c.
"You little... CARTER!" Jack complained. "Teal'c, toss it here"
"Major Carter has given it to me. I believe I shall keep it"
"CARTER! How could you DO THAT TO ME?"
"Easily sir"
He glowered at her. "See General?" he hissed, "She's evil"
"I am not!" Sam protested.
"You are so!" he stopped and glared at her some more.
Carter only gave him a sweet glance and turned to wink at Janet.
"Teal'c, what exactly happened?" Hammond demanded.
"Well..."
------
Jack opened the door whistling gaily, "Honey, I'm home... WHOA"
He went sliding across the syrup-creamed floor and crashed into a full of a water/flour paste.
"CARTER!" he yelled spitting out the mixture.
"Sir?" an astonished voice called. "I'm in my lab, you need something?"
"Did you...?"
"Did I what sir?" the 'puzzled' voice asked.
"Never mind" he hollered.
Sam, in her trusty old' lab, tried not to giggle. She couldn't help it; everything was going so great...
Teal'c walked carefully across the floor, "O'Neill, this is how.."
THUD
"You were saying?"
Teal'c slowly stood up. Waving his hand around, he felt two or three more threads. He pulled them. Red and yellow 'stuff' came pouring on top of Jack's head. Too late did Teal'c spy the pail well concealed.
"I am sorry O'Neill!" he called. He attempted to stifle a laugh. Jack was standing up, his clothes completely covered with... unknown substances. He looked very unhappy.
"I'm going to get you Carter!"
-------
"Major Carter had 'booby trapped the house'. O'Neill fell victim to the majority of her pranks"
"How long were you guys stuck there?" Daniel asked suddenly.
"Approximately twelve days"
"Twelve days?"
"Well Daniel, P4X-234's orbit has exactly 20 hours"
"So you guys were on for two days longer... basically. Ten days for us, Twelve for you"
"Yeah"
Major Paul Davis couldn't conceal his glee. 5 days worth of briefings. This was getting good! Revenge, hickeys, MacGyver (he loved that show!)...
"What are you grinning at?" Jack muttered.
He quickly wiped the smirk off his face. "Nothing sir" he said respectfully.
Jack frowned at him as Teal'c continued his recital of Carter's wrongdoings...
------
Carter grinned as he CO went sliding down the hall. A second later there was a howl of protest, "MY REDJELLO?"
"Don't worry sir... I still have four pies saved"
Jack appeared in the doorway, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "Carter, bathing suit. Now"
"Sir?"
"Trust me..."
---------
Teal'c stopped mid-sentence. "Day Seven, the afternoon" he began
"But Teal'c, you didn't..." General Hammond began.
"Day seven, the afternoon"
George wisely merely nodded. All teams had their 'little' secrets...
Daniel was listening to Janet whisper something. His eyes widened "Jello sliding?"
-----------
"WEEEEEEEEEEEE"
Jack watched as his very sexy 2IC flew past him ending with a slight crash at the end of the hall.
"O'Neill, what is the point of this?"
"To have fun T"
"You will ruin your clothing"
Jack shrugged, "Come on, it's fun" he called beginning his run on the red jello 'track'.
Teal'c watched as Jack crashed into the wall rather violently. "Are you alright O'Neill?"
"Peachy" he called. "Try it"
"I will not attempt it"
---------------
General Hammond ached to question them but by the look on their faces, he wouldn't be getting a very good answer. He snorted. A fish indeed.
"General?" Major Carter questioned.
He looked up, "Begin Major"
"Well..."
-----------
"Truce?"
Jack nodded. "That was mean though. This paste stuff is glued to me it seems"
She nodded, "Serves you right!"
"What'd I do?" he asked, really astonished.
"This is for making me wear that blue dress on Simarka"
"And Teal'c?"
"For 'trapping the stairs"
"I see..."
"That's Teal'c's line"
"So?"
"You stole it"
"Think he copyrighted it?"
She shrugged "Who knows?"
Jack shook his head, "I can't believe we are doing this"
"Doing what?"
"Sitting her and talking about Teal'c"
"Let's go swimming," they said simultaneously.
------------
"Supper time approached. It was uneventful. We cleaned up the cabin. It was uneventful. Bedtime approached."
"Anything happen then?"
Teal'c nodded "Indeed"
Carter was on her feet a second later, "Sir, this is has no bearing on what happened on the planet, I entreat you to not listen to this"
"General, I'll cut my briefings half and hour if we can hear this" Daniel asked.
Carter shot him a pleading glance. Daniel relented. "Never mind"
"Is this personal?" Hammond asked.
"Yes sir"
"Highly personal?"
"Yes sir"
"Does it have to do with your CO?"
"NO sir!"
"Then, we'll move on"
She sat down and gave a deep sigh of relief. She knew the technicians were listening in. Imagine ten guys knowing what had happened... two was bad enough...
---------
Carter was getting ready for bed when she felt a familiar cramp. Hurrying into the bathroom she looked.
"Shoot" she mumbled. Did the Asgard remember... she frowned and hurried into the other room.
-
"And Homer's like "I..." he looked up as a terrific crash was heard. Instantly on the alert, he glanced around "Where's Carter?"
"Preparing for her slumber"
"Carter?" he called.
-
Carter winced as her stacks of tinned goods tumbled over. "I'm fine" she called.
-
Jack hurried to the door, zat drawn followed by a curious Jaffa. He hurried in to see the room was in shambles. Cans and various other merchandise was scattered across the floor. "Sam?"
-
Carter sighed. Could she disappear NOW? "I'm fine sir! Just looking for something!"
"What?" he asked peering around the corner. She was digging through boxes.
She looked up "Something" she mumbled.
"What?" he persisted.
"Nothing! Now go!"
Jack stared at her for a moment then his eyes widened, "Oh... that"
She glared, "Yes, now GO!"
"I can help"
"Sir, this is embarrassing enough, the last..."
"Are you looking for the thin plastic things that humans wear?"
"Tampons" Jack supplied.
"I see. May I assist you?"
She was about to snap when she saw that the guys were genuinely interested in helping her. "Yeah, thanks"
An hour later...
"There isn't a blasted one!"
"Major Carter. Will these do?"
Carter caught the plastic package he tossed her. She nodded. "Thanks Teal'c"
"Pads" Jack mumbled. "Where'd you find these T?"
"In your bedroom O'Neill. They were supporting your bed which is now resting on the floor"
"Hey, it took me an hour to set that up! Speaking of the floor Carter, it's still a bit sticky"
Carter rolled her eyes, "I'll take care of it later" she said. It had taken them three hours of hard work to clean up the cabin with only Jack complaining.
"I'm going to bed now. Night sir"
"Night!"
------
"Day Eight was a fairly boring day," Jack said with a slight sigh.
"What happened?"
"We got up. We ate. We ate pie. We played my play station. We ate lunch. We ate ice cream..."
"That's it?"
"Basically"
"What happened?"
"Our check in..."
------
Jack, Carter and Teal'c headed towards the gate, Teal'c looking uneasily at the sky.
"T, RELAX!" Jack finally demanded, "You're freaking Carter out!"
"ME Jack? More like YOU"
"I am SO not freaked out."
"Whatever"
"O'Neill. We must find shelter"
"Why?" Jack began when something hit him.
"Oww!"
"Wow... it's hailing..."
"TAKE COVER!" Jack yelled dashed for the nearby trees.
------
"It started hailing. Hard"
------
Carter winced as yet another piece of frozen ice hit her. There were the size of large pebbles and they hurt like heck!
Jack passed her his shirt. "It'll help," he said rubbing his arms to keep warm.
She wanted to protest but for one thing, her CO was only wearing an undershirt and shorts now and he looked hot and two... it did help.
Teal'c didn't appear affected by the weather. He stood there peering out. "It will not let up soon O'Neill"
"Ok... let's play a game"
"TAG?" Sam said sarcastically.
"Funny. Never have I"
"What is that O'Neill?"
"It's a game Teal'c"
"How does one play?"
"Sir, let's not," Carter said. "Dare"
"Dare?"
"Dare"
"What is Dare?"
"You dare someone to do something. That's basically it"
"That's boring!"
"So?
"Never have I is..."
"A college game that I don't want to play"
"Carter..."
"No"
"Ok, fine. Teal'c, listen to me..." he stopped and thought. "Never have I... been a Jaffa"
"This I know O'Neill"
"No, see, if I haven't done it, and you have, you have to do something"
"What must I do?"
"Umm... sing 'Mary had a little lamb' "
"I am unfamiliar with that song"
"Row, row, row, your boat?"
"No"
"Twinkle, Twinkle?"
"No"
Teal'c suddenly smiled "I must hum the MacGyver theme song"
"Whatever"
Teal'c obediently hummed it. "What do I say O'Neill?"
"You say... Never Have I... then think of something"
"Never have I... served Apophis"
"Good one" Jack mumbled.
Carter rolled her eyes. She hated this game. She and Jonas had played it by the hour before they had broke up. Every since then she could barely tolerate the game. But it was fun watching Teal'c play...
"Never have I been kissed by Major Carter"
Jack choked but hummed the theme song.
-------
"The rain stopped finally. We dialed home. You guys didn't answer so we headed home."
"Day 9?"
Carter and Jack both looked over at Daniel and Janet who were whispering suspiciously.
"You guys! Cut it out" Jack ordered.
"This is fascinating Jack!"
"Carter!I told you not to tell her anything!"
"Sir, she threatened me with her biggest needle!"
Jack muttered something about an Air Force officer never being scared of needles.
"Who wants to narrate day 9?" Hammond asked.
"I DO!" all three cried.
"Colonel?" Hammond asked uncertainly.
"I do sir"
"General Hammond, I think perhaps I had best narate these events" Teal'c said firmly while Carter pleaded for him to 'pick' her.
"Major Carter. Please continue"
Jack groaned and Teal'c smacked his forehead.
"Well..."
Remeber, Carter says she's been dialing home for over a week? I figured that that could mean 10 days and then add two more...
I'm holding a certain someone to their promise to review...
Hoped you liked it and PLEASE review!