Chapter: Five. Council Meeting
Author: Taulaes
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars or any of the associated characters. I am not George Lucas and I do not profit from this fanfic.
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"Master, my robe fits funny," Obi-Wan complained.
It was the day that Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan needed to go to the Council meeting. Obi-Wan had to wear his new robes so that he'd look presentable. The things was, the pants fit funny. He couldn't put his finger on it, but something wasn't right. It might have been that for the first time, Obi-Wan was wearing boxers; not tighty-whities. "Master, I'm changing back to the tighy-whities. I think the boxers are riding up on me," Obi-Wan stated.
"Padawan, this is like the whole using the refresher thing. People don't need to know what it is, exactly, that you are doing," Qui-Gon explained, "Now, hurry up. We have to go."
Quickly, Obi-Wan changed back into his old, comfortable, tighty-whities. He felt very relieved. He skipped out in to the foyer. "I'm ready to go, Master," he said happily.
"You take longer getting ready than a woman does," Qui-Gon mumbled.
Obi-Wan took no notice to the sarcasm. As, he was already bounding off down the hall. The aged Jedi Master had to run to catch up with his Padawan. Right as Qui-Gon caught up with him, abrubtly, Obi-Wan stopped. "Uh-oh. There is a disturbance in the Force," Obi-Wan said.
"What it is Obi-Wan? What is it that you sense?" Qui-Gon asked curiously.
"I have a wedgie," Obi-Wan stated uncomfortabley.
"You have an issue, then, don't you?" Qui-Gon said.
"What should I do? I mean, obviously, I should pick the wedgie. I can't do that right here in the hall; someone might see!" Obi-Wan said drasticly, "We'll have to go to the refresher."
"That's just what you'll have to do, Padawan. We're not going back to the refreshers so you can talk to yourself again. We're the only one's in the hall. You can go stand in the corner over there and I won't look. Then you can pick your wedgie," Qui-Gon said.
Obi-Wan scowled. "I'll just walk up there. In fact, I'll start over to the Council room. See you there, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon waved.
Qui-Gon went off in the direction of the Council room. Obi-Wan looked around and made sure that no one was looking. Then, he picked his wedgie. He ran to catch up with his Master. He ran all the way to the Council room because Qui-Gon had gotten there. Qui-Gon didn't even look at Obi-Wan before he opened the room's door. "Welcome, Master Jinn and Padawan Kenobi," Mace Windu said.
"Hello, Master Windu. Where is Master Yoda?" Qui-Gon asked.
"He's visiting his Jedi sister on their home planet," Master Windu explained, "He's hoping that he'll be able to talk her into joining the Council. Her name is Yaddle."
'Two mini trolls? I can hardly understand one mini troll. This isn't good,' Obi-Wan thought, 'Uh-oh. I feel another wedgie coming on.'
Obi-Wan looked at his Master. Qui-Gon was deep in a discusion about their next mission. It wouldn't be the greatest idea to interrupt him. If there weren't so many people around, Obi-Wan could pick his wedgie. He couldn't risk the Council members seeing. With out knowing, Obi-Wan's left eye began twitching. "Is there something wrong with your Padawan, Qui-Gon? His eye is twitching," Mace asked.
"Oh, he only does that when, well, actually, I don't really know why he does that," Qui-Gon stated.
"Master," Obi-Wan said, "Can I say something? Something that the rest of the Council doesn't need to hear."
"Of course, Padawan," Qui-Gon said.
The Padawan grabbed his Master by the arm and dragged him out of the Council room. He slammed the door once he was out in the hall. "These pants are horrible! I must destroy them! They are the pants of the eternal wedgie!" Obi-Wan yelled.
Quickly, Obi-Wan took of his pants. He took his light saber of his belt and threw the pants up in the air. Before the pant hit the ground, they were in half. "Well, that's done," Obi-Wan said proudly.
The door to the Council room opened. Master Poof stuck his heda out the opening. "Is everything okay, out here?" he asked, but then saw Obi-Wan's underwear, "You wear tighy-whities? Council members! Come see this! Padawan Kenobi wears tighy-whities."
The rest of the Council crowded around the open door and laughed at Obi-Wan. "Okay, from now on, even if the boxers annoy me, I'm going to wear them. Today, I become a man and wear boxers from now on," Obi-Wan said and stormed off.
THE END
A/N: Alas! the pants of the eternal wedgie are a true thing! They are real! I own them and they are just like, wow. It's insane. Please review!