Disclaimer: Saiyuki ain't mine. But thanks to a B-Day present from one of my friends, I now own volume one of Saiyuki Reload! It won't disappear when I put this kitchen magnet on it! SEE! SEE!
Translation notes: Ok, let me think... um... Oh yeah, I caved and used 'Ne.' Pronounced like what the horse does, 'Neigh!' The way it is used here it means 'hey' basically. I think it can be used another way, but that's beside the point as it's only used one way in here. Um... I think I also used 'Sensei' once... Basically means 'teacher.'... Um... I think that's it... There is other stuff, but I've used them before, so hopefully everybody remembers what they are, as I am NOT typing all that out again.
Warnings: Ok... minor bad language? Or not-so-minor? Not-so-minor is probably more accurate. Um... I think minor OOCness snuck in somehow, but the whole frikken chapter took too frikken long to write and then TYPE for me to want to try and hunt down all OOCness there might possibly be. How 'bout this, you see something MAJORLY OOC, that is NOT funny, an I will fix it. And just generally I don't think this chapter is as good as some of my others... damn. Next chappie, I SWEAR. Oh yeah, if you're one of those people who thinks Goku's thought processes are about as intelligent as a REAL monkey, you might think he's OOC. I however, belong to the group of people that thinks there is more going on in Goku's head then he lets on. He's NOT a stupid monkey, he just does many stupid things that cause him to get hit by the Fan.
Notes to Reviewers: ...There AREN'T any. Which is over HALF the reason it took me so frikken long to type this chapter up. Lack of motivation much?
Blab: Ok, this chapter is really, REALLY frikken late. Lack of reviews equals lack of motivation to spend 3 hours typing up 2500 words. Plus I got sick. And am still sick actually. And I've had just less time to do things in general. And so on and so forth. And I apologize in advance for the lower quality of this chapter... and... I can't think of anything else to say... so on with the chapter and the explanation of What The Hell Is Going On!
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In which a fanfic author puts off working on the stuff she's supposed to be working on in Writing Class and works on Chapter 8 instead, as she has no ideas for a news story, and frankly, hates writing about facts unless she's allowed to give her opinion on them
Also known as
In which the not-so-original-fairy finally explains What The Hell Is Going On, and the fanfic author breathes a LONG sigh of relief at finally finishing the opening that was originally only supposed to be a total of FOUR chapters, yet has become twice that
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When last we were with the Sanzo-ikkou, Gojyo had uttered two words which summarized everyone's feelings at the revelation that the not-so-original-fairy was a fanfiction author's messenger. Those two words will now be repeated for a sense of continuation and dramatic emphasis, and then we shall finally get on with the plot.
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"Oh. Crap."
Yeah. I know. I'm the one working for the fanfic author, believe me, I know
The not-so-original-fairy, sensing that everyone was too shocked by the revelation to do anything violent, (though Hakkai had had an inkling due to the suspiciously convenient mirrors) darted out from behind Hakkai to a point less defensible, but easier to speak from.
Namely… Actually, the fanfic author is not sure what would be less defensible but easier to talk from.
The light bulb dumbass.
(Do you really want to have a Peter Pan flashback?)
I don't care!
(Ok, let me give you a better reason. What makes you think that Sanzo will hesitate for even one second to get at you?)
…Point conceded…Is Jeep annoyed?
(No. Okay, back to our regularly scheduled oddness.)
Namely, behind Hakuryu, who had come out from under the bed and perched himself on one of the bedside lamps.
"Okay then, anyone wanna know why I'm here? Besides the obvious fact that you are now in a fanfic?"
Sanzo glared. Damn ball of light. Hiding behind our transportation is a damn dirty trick.
Gojyo and Goku were in a state of dumbfounded horror. The not-so-original-fairy resisted the urge to wave its non-existent hand in front of their shocked faces.
Hakkai was definitely having trouble keeping his customary smile in place. It kept twitching. Often. "Well, since no one else seems to want to, I'll ask. Why are you here?"
The fairy bobbed up and down from its position behind Hakuryu. "Thank you for asking! I am here to FINALLY explain, in full, exactly What The Hell Is Going On."
Sanzo continued glaring. "OK, I'll bite. What do you mean finally? It's only been around half an hour since Gojyo's hair made its oh so very fascinating color change."
"I had to go see Kanzeon Bosatsu-sama and the Kougaiji-tachi first. They all hate me now. Except possibly Jiroushin and the creepy doctor… Plus I'm on the fanfic author's time."
Gojyo blinked, and rejoined the conversation. "You mean it's NOT just us being messed with?"
"Yep."
"YES! If I must suffer, so must they all suffer with me! Thou shalt suffer as I do suffer!" Gojyo continued on in this vein for quite a few minutes, causing Hakkai's smile to start twitching slightly and think, My, he really doesn't like his hair to be messed with…I think he may have finally cracked.
When Gojyo showed no signs of stopping anytime in the near future, the not-so-original-fairy said, "Um… Ok then… you want to take an hour's break or something? You know, to eat, and get any ranting and 'suffer with me' speeches and stuff out of the way so they don't interrupt?"
The formerly silent Goku leaped off the bed yelling, "FOOD! Ne Sanzo can we can we please?"
"URUSAI!" -THWACK!- went the Almighty Paper Fan.
"OW! What the hell was that for!"
"I said, Urusai!" -THWACK! THWACK!-
… Methinks Sanzo is not taking the news I dropped on him very well…
(D'ya think?)
… Stop self-inserting and let me do my damn job.
(Fine. I will stop with the author's comments. Happy now?)
Yes actually.
(…)
Only a few seconds into the fan-smacking later, Hakkai said, "…Well, since no else seems to be in a position to disagree, I think we'll take up that offer of an hour's break, Not-so-original-fairy-san."
Gojyo had taken his "Suffer With Me" speech to its next logical step; the "World Domination" and "Rebuild the World in Mine Own Image!" speech, and Sanzo was now waving his fan and chasing Goku around the small room, Goku yelling at the top of his lungs.
Hakkai blinked at the chaos in the room. "Heaven knows we need a break."
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An hour later, the much more sane, and normal, and now Fed Sanzo-ikkou returned to the room to find the not-so-original-fairy using one of the few benefits that came from being a not-so-original-creation.
The not-so-original-fairy was chatting with Hakuryu. It seemed they were making a deal of some sort, as just as the Saiyuki Boys were coming in, the two shook wings.
It's fun when you can just ignore the language barrier.
The Sanzo-ikkou decided that they'd rather not what evil scheme Hakuryu and the not-so-original-fairy were planning.
"Ok then, you might want to get comfortable for this, I don't know how long it will take."
Sanzo and Gojyo both glared at the not-so-original-dairy as they got themselves settled on their respective beds. Hakkai and Goku were much less hostile, Hakkai as he had barely been messed with, Goku as he was now finally fed.
The for-once-happy-fairy, from its safe position behind Hakuryu, began speaking, "Okay, FIRST of all, you'll need these." and did the trick where it makes the little black books come out of the air. Not pushing its luck however, it made them fall into each man's lap. (Yes, Goku is considered a Man for the purposes of this sentence. He's 18, ain't he?)
Oh god, this better be the last frikken time I recite this stupid title."AUs But Not. Your guide to Universes Alternate (the Not Quite Alternate Universes)"
Sanzo was showing definite signs of trying to restrain himself from doing anything that might inadvertently harm their only mode of transportation. Gojyo's thought processes seemed to be running along the same lines.
The not-so-original-fairy, now an old pro at sensing the level of "Want to Maim, Wound, and Rend" tension in the air, quickly continued, "These are your personalized Handy-Dandy guides to What The Hell Is Going On. They've got all sorts of useful tips and warnings."
"Warnings?" asked Gojyo.
"Yeah, warnings. Oh, that reminds me Gojyo-san, you might want to avoid water that's more than knee-deep."
"Huh? Why?"
"Just trust me, avoid any water that's deeper than a puddle if you can help it."
"Hey, little-glowing-ball-light! What is going on?" asked Goku.
"…You're probably not going to like this."
"We already don't like this!" growled Sanzo.
"Ok then. The fanfic author decided it would be amusing if you guys could see what you looked like Animated. To that effect, using her omnipotent fanfic pencil, she has melded the worlds of Manga and Anime, using Fanfiction as the glue to hold it all together."
It should now be noted that the following responses occurred simultaneously.
"…WHAT?" shouted Gojyo.
"…That's it, she's dead, tell me how to find her and maybe I'll let you live." came the fairly predictable threat of death from Sanzo.
"…You mean we look like this animated!" was Goku's contribution.
"…Oh my." was all Hakkai said.
The fairy managed to convey a sense of blinking, bombarded by the sudden outburst of noise.
"Um…ok…" the not-so-original-fairy took a breath and started talking in a rush. "No, your ears did not deceive you Gojyo-san, so I'm not going to repeat all of that again. Sanzo-sama, I would gladly tell you where you could find her, but it's a moot point as you wouldn't be able to get out of Fanfiction Limbo. Yes Goku-san, this is what you guys look like animated. And I don't think Hakkai-san was looking for an answer so I'll just stop there." The not-so-original-fairy nearly fell out of the air inhaling.
Gojyo and Sanzo were still glaring. Goku now looked an odd mix of annoyed, confused, and interested, while Hakkai had managed to firmly fic his smile back in place, hiding what he really thought.
After the fairy had managed to get oxygen running to all parts of its not-very-tangible body, it began speaking again, "Ok, let's see… what else do you need to know… Um… Ah, this is gonna take some thought organizing… Ok, first up, timeline."
"Timeline? Asked Sanzo dangerously. "Why do we need a timeline?"
"It's two timelines actually. There are distinct differences between the manga and the anime, so both are listed in the little black books you now have. The fanfic author has made the changeover right before the Homura arc, as it's the first place where something major happens in the anime that couldn't have happened in the manga."
"…You mean we have to deal with even more shit?" protested Gojyo. "What the fuck is up with that?"
"To be fair, it wasn't the fanfic author who created the Homura arc. She's just the one who plunked you there. And you wouldn't believe how difficult that was, she had to switch the Kougaiji-tachi over a few days timeline-wise early to keep certain… incidents, from occurring, yet she had she do it without letting anything noticeable changing until this morning, greatly flouting the laws of probability. Now things are all glitchy. Besides, she could have moved you guys all the way back to the beginning. You would've had to go through everything you did before, and then some."
"…I had the impression you didn't like the fanfic author." noted Hakkai.
"She made me say it. I think it's her revenge on me for getting her to stop self-inserting."
"Ah."
"Anyways, back to timelines, due to certain inconsistencies that will be sure to pop up every now and then caused by the messing with said timeline that will occur, you may be prone to sudden fits of memory loss."
"What! Why?" asked a slightly panicked Goku.
"Don't worry, it's only temporary. It's just so that if something happens twice you'll still react the way you're supposed to."
"Ano…I thought you said that we were right before the arc that's completely different from the manga, so why would something happen twice?" asked Hakkai.
"… The fanfic author has long range plans…"
"Ah…um… That will be…interesting."
…Methinks Hakkai knows about that old Chinese (or was it Japanese? No, Chinese. I think) curse; 'May you live in interesting times.'
"I'm afraid it's going to get even more interesting. Due to the fact that the binding of Manga and Anime was done with Fanfiction, you may succumb to fits of Out-Of-Character-ness, which could be anything from slight differences in the grammar of your normal speech, to getting an irresistible urge to dance in the common room of an inn wearing nothing but a pink tutu."
Everyone, even Hakkai of the Won't-Go-Away Smile, and Sanzo of the I-Don't-Give-A-Damn Scowl, blanched.
"Don't worry, the tutu thing is unlikely to happen."
Relieved sighs all around. Except from Sanzo. He had that much self-control left at least.
"Ok, what else… Ok, you may end up doing things that aren't in the anime or manga, so watch out for that… um… mleh. I think that's it. Be sure to read the little black book, the fanfic author's not completely evil, the tips are useful, and every now and then she may give you a warning for what she has planned."
"Why would she warn us?" asked Gojyo.
"If she feels like she's picked on someone a lot, she gets guilty. Any more questions?"
Sanzo darted his gaze around the room, trying to see if someone else was going to ask a question. It very quickly became apparent that no one was going to ask his question for him, just so he could still appear Uninterested. Scowling at the realization he'd have to ask the painfully ordinary question, Sanzo asked, "What's with the title?"
"The title?"
Sanzo's scowl deepened a little more. "The title of this thing." He gestured while holding the little black book.
"What about the title?"
Sanzo acquired some vein-pops at this delaying of the satisfaction of his curiosity. "Universes Alternate? What the hell are those? How the hell is it relevant to what's going on!"
"Oh that. Ok, first pretend you've never heard of the first Journey to the West. Next, assume that the manga, or this world prior fanfic meddling is the original world."
"Yeah, so?"
"Now an alternate universe of this world would be the four of or the other guys going about your lives in a completely different way. Say you're all in high school, or in a law firm or some such thing."
"…There better be a point to this."
"There is. Ok, if you look at it one way, anime, when based on a manga, is also an alternate universe. Same with fanfiction. Even though you're still Going West, and everyone is still in their respective roles of Monk, Mediator, Monkey, and Kappa, you still end up doing things not in the original timeline, and acting anywhere from completely normal to completely different."
Sanzo fired a shot at the ceiling. "Point. Now."
"Ok, the point is, the anime and fanfiction…well, except poetry maybe, are technically alternate universes. But no one seems to view them as such. So the fanfic author has decided to call them Universes Alternate (the NOT quite Alternate Universes) for the purpose of this fic. Happy now?"
Sanzo was no longer scowling, but wasn't quite back to his impassive I-don't-give-a-damn-just-stay-the-hell-away-from-me look. "Ch. I'll be happy when the whole catastrophe of a fic is over."
"I agree with the monk there," drawled Gojyo, "for once."
"It won't be all bad." God, why am I defending her? Evil fanfic author. "Anyways, for more complete info, READ THE BOOKS. You'll be able to fic your appearance temporarily at least, and it updates regularly to answer any questions. So this may be the very last time you'll see me!"
"Ano… it's also the very first time we've seen you." Hakkai pointed out.
"… It's been a really long day for me. Be glad this is the last time. Any more questions?"
Headshakes all around, with the exception of Sanzo, who went "Ch" instead.
"OK, I'm GOING now, good luck with surviving the fanfic author's insanity, see ya Jeep!"
And with that, the not-so-original-fairy disappeared for the last time (if it's lucky).
This left the room filled with a slightly hostile, slightly uncomfortable, and very tense atmosphere.
After the silence had stretched on for a suitable length of time, Goku thought, OK time to get rid of all this uncomfortable tension with something refreshingly normal.
"Ne Sanzo, I'm hung-"
"URUSAI!" And down came the almighty fan of Doom on Goku's head.
"OW! Ne Sanzo, what'd you do that for? I'm really hung-!"
-THWACK!-
"Sensei, the monk's attacking the monkey again."
-BANG!-
"Bastard! That nearly hit me!"
"Quit whining."
"Why you shitty monk, one of these days-"
-BANG! BANG!-
Hakkai's smile became real as he watched the refreshingly normal chaos.
Aha! thought Goku, as he and Gojyo were chased around the room, Objective complete!
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Author's Notes:
Again, I apologize for any and all OOCness, and I REALLY hope that no one feels cheated by the crappy explanation. It will get better, I SWEAR. Title of the next chapter is; 'In which Gojyo is Utterly Unable to Get Laid.' See! Isn't that funny? And MAN I'm picking on Gojyo... Ok, let's see, better contest for cyber-brownies... um... Ok, some people may have noticed my attempt at alliteration for describing the ikkou. Monk, Mediator, Monkey and... Kappa does NOT begin with M. The only M thing I could find to describe Gojyo is Miscreant, and that doesn't quite fit. For cyber-brownies, break out your thesaurus (or the schools' or an online one or something) and find something to describe Gojyo using M. And not only will you get cyber-brownies, I just may worship at your feet for finding it where I could not. Anyways, I DON'T know when next chappie will be, I've given up trying to keep an updating schedule for now. I will try and get two chappies of SOMETHING out a month, more if major inspiration hits me while I have time to write. So...yeah... watch out for chappies from this fic, and hopefully from another one I'm planning... Um... review this time please?