Summary: Never in Hermione Granger's wildest dreams (or nightmares) had she envisioned being stuck in a prison with Draco Malfoy. Post Hogwarts.
Disclaimer: Not mine, not yours (unless you are J.K Rowling, which is highly unlikely).
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"Will you give me a foot message?" Draco asked Hermione hopefully, opening his grey eyes wide, pleading.
"You want me to give you a foot message?" She eyed him suspiciously. What was he up to now?
"Yes, it would be appreciated greatly"
She glared at him. "No freaking way, Malfoy"
"Why not?"
"Because I said so"
"But why are you saying so?"
"Because I want to say so"
"But why do you want to say so?"
"Because I want to want to say so"
"That doesn't make sense Her-mi-o-neee!" Replied Draco, in a sing-song voice, which sounded eerily cheery.
"Yes it does, and you know it" She replied, glaring at him.
"Oh, but you see-"
"No, I don't see"
"Let me finish my sentence!" He shot back, huffily.
"Go. Away"
"Oh, but you see….." Draco paused. What was he going to say again?
"We're waiting, Malfoy"
He frowned. He'd thought of something wonderful to say… But he had forgotten what it was. Something about seeing…
"Who are we?" He asked her, arching his eyebrow.
"Huh?"
"Who are we?" he repeated again.
Hermione stared at him. Perhaps he had gone off his rocker.
"You said 'we're waiting'"
"So?"
"Who's 'we'?"
Crap… She hadn't meant to say that.
"Erm…"
Think Hermione, think!
"We're the 'anti Draco Malfoy-ers'"
"The anti Draco Malfoy-ers?"
"Yeah"
"Why are you so anti Draco Malfoy?"
"Because Draco Malfoy is annoying"
"But Draco Malfoy can be un-annoying at times if you got to know him"
"Whatever…"
"Of course, Draco Malfoy has a sore foot right now…"
Hermione glared at him again.
"So… If the Anti Draco Malfoy-ers would like to give Draco Malfoy a foot message, it would be greatly appreciated…"
"No. Freggin. Way"
"Come on!"
"I am not 'coming on'" She replied, glaring at him again.
"Just give it a go! Who knows? Maybe you'll enjoy it!"
"I will not enjoy it! What makes you think that?"
"Everyone enjoys it! Who doesn't?"
"Well, there is nothing wrong with enjoying 'it'. However, who could enjoy 'it' with you?"
"Everyone does! I'm Draco Malfoy, sex god! Who wouldn't?"
"What does you being a 'sex god' have to do with me giving you a foot message?"
"Aha! So you admit it, you think I'm a sex god!"
"I do not think you are a sex god – "
"Yes you do, yes you dooooo-oooo!" He used the sing-song voice again.
Hermione winced. "I do not under any circumstances find you to be – "
"Revolting? Ugly?"
Hermione glared at him again.
"You think I'm a sex god! Admit it!"
"I will admit to nothing!"
"I'll make you admit it!"
"I'm not going to admit to something that isn't true!"
"But it's so true, Granger… It is, and you know it!"
"Funny thing is, Malfoy, I don't know it…"
"I'll make you know it"
"LIGHTS OUT!" The guard yelled. The lights immediately went out. It was pitch black.
Ignoring the loss of light, Hermione and Draco continued to argue…
"You can't make me know it Malfoy"
"Yes, I can… And I will"
"How?"
"Simple, really. You already know it"
"I do not already know it"
"Huh?"
"What now?"
"Of course you already know it! Who doesn't?"
"Everyone Malfoy, everyone"
"So you're saying that not everyone knows I am a sex god?"
"Yeah, that's about it"
"But that can't be true!"
"Well it is- deal"
"What if I don't want to deal?"
"It's your loss then"
"Are you at loss to anything?"
"Yeah"
"What?"
"My sanity"
"Why are you losing your sanity?"
"Because I'm stuck here, with you"
"Oh, but why are you stuck here, with me?"
"What? You don't even know?"
"I'd like to hear it from your point of view"
"Well, anything you'd like to happen isn't going to happen"
"Oh… Come on!"
"………"
"Granger!"
"………"
"Granger?"
"………"
"Come on!"
"………."
"Why are you being so quiet?"
"………"
"Normally you talk so much you can't shut up…"
"………"
"Her-mi-o-neee Gran-geer!"
"………"
"Talk now!"
"………"
"Come on!"
"………"
"Why are you giving me the silent treatment?"
"………"
"Talk woman!"
"………"
"I don't enjoy talking to someone who doesn't talk back... But you leave me no choice!"
"………"
"yooo- hoo!"
"………"
"Granger?"
"………"
"What did I ever do to you?"
"………"
"You have to tell me!"
"………"
"Why do you hate me so much?"
"…………"
"I'm friends with your friends!"
"………."
"You're friends with my friends!"
"…….."
"Why can't we leave the past behind us and be friends?"
"Because you're an arse"
"Aha! So she speaks again!"
"……."
"Aw… come on!"
"Quit your whining Malfoy"
"Why can't we be friends?"
"Because you're an arse, and I'm not an arse"
"Who said I was an arse?"
"Me"
"But I've tried to be friendly!"
"No you haven't Malfoy"
"I soooo have!"
"……."
"What did I ever do to you?"
"………"
"I said sorry for all the things I said to you that were hurtful as a child"
"…….."
"What more do you want?"
"…….."
"It was good enough for your friends, so why not you?"
"…….."
"……."
"……."
"……."
"You don't remember, do you Malfoy?"
"Remember what?"
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Why does Hermione hate Draco so much?
I randomly decided that I wanted to write a Hermione-Draco fight, and it just turned into something more :)
Hope you guys like it, Mae-Gene.