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Teaser: Wisteria Lane a Hellmouth…? Now it all makes sense
Spoilers: Buffy season 7, Desperate Housewives season 1
Welcome to the Hellmouth
I.
It was your average day on Wisteria Lane. One of those small reprieves between the weird things that always seem to happen in the neighborhood.
Susan Mayer sat on her porch drinking punch with Lynette Scavo in a seat beside her. Their feet were propped up on the railing of her porch and together, like the good friends they were, they watched as the sunlight bathed the well-kept, green grasses of their suburban neighborhood.
"Looks like someone new's moving in," Lynette observed casually, running a hand through her unkempt blonde hair. Her thin, trim glasses hung from the bridge of her nose as she looked over at her house from across the street, which was blissfully quiet today. Her kids were out with their dear dad—not by his choice, mind you.
Susan's dark eyes were drawn to the place where Lynette had pointed out. A small, moving truck had pulled into a for-sale house only fifteen minutes ago. There had been no signs of the new owners just yet, but the day was still young.
And then they did see the new owners. Susan grinned and pointed her out to Lynette. A pretty, young woman with glossy, dark hair and tight jeans. She wore her halter top proudly and had a tattoo on her bare upper arm.
"Wonder who that is?" Lynette asked casually. "Thought it was a man who was moving in."
But then the man did step out. He was dark-skinned and tall, attractive even from far away. He handed the dark-haired woman a heavy box, which she accepted without so much of a complaint.
"Isn't he the new principal of the high school?" Susan wondered and took a long swig of her fruit-flavored punch. Julie had made it actually.
She frowned. Julie. Her daughter had been sick for almost two months now, but she refused to see a doctor. In fact, she rarely left the house. And she was tired all the time, like she never slept. During the night, at least. Susan often caught her teenage daughter zonked out on the couch these days.
Honestly, Susan was worried that there was something seriously wrong with Julie. Her young, usually chipper, daughter seemed worried and haunted and… new, Susan supposed. There was something new and strange about her daughter and, for once, Julie didn't want to talk about it with her mother.
"Looks a little young," Lynette observed. "And she looks a little young. For him." She said this when the principal took the dark-haired woman by the waist to give her a rather… passionate… kiss.
"Hmm," Susan mumbled her agreement. "They don't seem like suburbanites, do they?" She eyed the dark-haired woman again. There was a different strength about her, even in her youth. It reminded her eerily of her daughter.
"No they don't," Lynette agreed and took a sip, keeping her eyes on the two across the street.
-
Faith eyed her new, perfect, white house wearily. "Buffy and Dawn get Rome, Angel gets L.A., Andrew gets London… I get suburban central. Hell, even Xander gets Cleveland. At least that's active."
Robin—her handsome, dark lover—came up to her side. "Giles thinks this is a very possible Hellmouth." He dug into his pocket and without drew a small coin. "Besides, we've got something to collect."
She plucked it from his fingers and looked down at the silver. Willow had magicked it using some of Buffy's blood. This way, she could track down Slayers without the use of the Scythe or the Wicca.
"Guess we do," she muttered and then frowned. "But, yo, I wanted to sleep for years. Instead, I'm pulling favors for New-and-Improved Council."
"Well, at least you aren't training to be a Watcher," Robin pointed out and sighed. "Do they all were tweed? Is it mandatory? And how did Giles wrangle me into that?"
"Wrangling…" Faith grinned and trailed a finger along his bare arm. "Reminds me of rope. Kinky."
"Not now…" Robin said, but didn't sound too disappointed with her. "Later. You know, when other people aren't watching." He motioned casually with his shoulders to the two sets of eyes Faith had noticed a while ago.
"My Slayer senses are tingling," Faith muttered and looked at her coin. Then looked at the house the two women were currently watching them from. Her eyes drifted up, drawn by some indiscernible pull, and she saw a young girl peering out from the window. Faith grinned, feral. "Bingo."
"You think over there?" Robin asked.
"Oh definitely," Faith muttered and looked over at him, sidelong. When she had caught the girl in the window she had felt the connection, the bond, the feeling of sisters-in-arms. "Looks like she's been waiting for us." With a shoulder she motioned to the window.
Robin looked up and saw the same thing Faith did. A young, frightened girl with too much knowledge in her eyes. "Alright. Let's go over and introduce ourselves. If my sources are correct the house belongs to two women, Susan Mayer and her daughter—Julie."
"Money's on the daughter," Faith said and, gripping the silver coin, walked across the street. There was something eerily perfect about it that had Faith on edge. Way too perfect. Hellmouth material. She could see the housewives now… desperate and taking over the world.
The two women who had been eyeing Faith and Robin glanced at one another, as if their staring had called Faith over. She grinned not unkindly at them. "Hello. Just moved in. Faith. This is Robin Wood."
"Hello," the dark-haired woman said, sounding a little weary. Faith couldn't blame them. She found that Slayers had a tendency to exude something that put everyone else around them on edge. Until you go used to it.
"Is your daughter home?" Faith asked, even though she knew she was.
"Yeah, she's—" The dark-haired woman—Susan Mayer, probably—turned toward the door even as her blonde friend's eyes narrowed suspicious. Faith wanted to nod in approval. Be afraid, she thought, be very afraid. "Oh. Julie."
Julie Mayer was already standing at the door and looked at Faith the same way all the new Slayers had looked at her upon finding themselves with the Power. Learned, weary, and brand new. The young girl smiled weakly.
"Welcome to the Hellmouth," Julie said.
Notes: I just finished watching the last season of Buffy again and I gotta tell yeah… if Wisteria Lane was a Hellmouth things would make a lot of sense. Enjoy!