First off, a big hug and thank you to everybody who reviewed me! Haha, my Jedi Mind trick must have worked after all! As any author knows, there is no bigger rush than reading a review and knowing that you've done a good job on a fic.
Alley and Phoenix Red Lion: is the same day too soon for an update? Well.. next day, as it's 1:12 am. :o)
DarkGirl5: I never know which one to update myself, so if you have any particular preferences, let me know, ok? I'm working on Chiaroscuro chapter three at the mo, so I hope that was on your list!
MissNaye: Glad that you're liking it so far!
Funyun: I hate Petme as well. Its so nice to be a ff author and get rid of her! I'm glad you gave this a chance, even though its slash! But not too slashy!
Vespa: I'm really glad that you're liking the characters! They get into my head and won't leave me alone! But it's always nice to hear that, even though the situation is rather far removed from SW, that they still sound like themselves!
Ladylina: I know I gave Amidork the boot quickly, tis true, but hate her and didn't want to spend any more time with her than was absolutely necessary!
Lil-kenobi-greenleaf: (glazed look) I …will… update…soon. Does this mean I get my OBI-COOKIES! YAY! Are they chocolate chip? Yummy yummy! And a yummy Jedi, too…meow! (Btw, he's not dead yet..!)
Pershin: You're so nice! I love to hear that I'm loved! And I'm glad to know that my stories have a following, even if it's only of one! :o)
And last, but certainly not least!
TEMPLE MISTRESS!
Darling beta, this second instalment would never have come into being without you! Thank you SO much for all your help and encouragement and yelling at me for making you cry. You make me feel like an actual author, instead of a university student playing around in her – limited – free time. I adore you, have I mentioned that? And I'm glad that you liked the hair tousled scene…well, this wouldn't be a good fic if we didn't get Obi naked at least once! Remember if you get too sad, there's always SUPERNOVA! (for the rest of you, that hasn't been posted yet. Sorry. :o) )
A/N: Yeah yeah, we all know that I dont own the characters... so sad. But the maggots aren't mine either… even I'm not that twisted! They're from one of the graphic novels in the SW series, and yes, Ventress really did do that to Obi-Wan.
Well, you'll see what I'm talking about soon enough, I suppose….Please enjoy!
Part 2
There was nothing beyond the pain. Agony that permeated his entire being, until his nerves became so over stimulated that they just seemed to just shut down. There was no sensation, no feeling, a fuzzy mist that enshrouded his entire body. Pain. The pain was always there, shifting and mutable; answering to some capricious whim that he had no ability to grasp.
Anakin.
The face was still there, just beyond his reach, like the voices that came tumbling down on him from great heights, so far away… so unreachable.
There was the vaguest sensation of movement, a faint discussion. He couldn't see, couldn't open his eyes from the great weight that held them shut. He was just so tired, he could slip away into the Force right now…
And he would leave Anakin behind….
"…painkillers to keep him asleep for a few hours…."
"…enough time to discover the source of…"
"…should arrive back soon…"
He would wait for Anakin. He knew the younger Jedi would come… he had to come. Obi-Wan had never needed Anakin's strength as much as he did now. But…the subtle murmuring of fear whispered around his heart, lapping at the edges of his fading consciousness. A nagging doubt that wormed its way into his mind, crumbling the firm foundation of his assurance.
Anakin had already left him. Had run away, had run away from Obi-Wan's rejection of him. He was gone.
Oh Force, Anakin, I'm so sorry…
He honestly didn't know if Anakin would come back to him… not any more. He wouldn't blame Anakin if he didn't return. Most of all, he was worried about what Anakin would think of him if he did reappear. Weak, helpless, and, Force, so alone.
He tried to whisper Anakin's name, tried to reach out once more through the Force to his friend. He was too exhausted, too feeble to do either.
How pathetic.
Vague voices, though the mist, through the darkness.
"Master Luminara, I think Master Kenobi may need a higher dose of painkillers. He's crying…"
Just fade away… letting out a long sigh, he let go.
Fade away….
---
The pain through the Force-bond that still connected him to Master Obi-Wan was growing stronger as Anakin drew nearer to Coruscant. Stronger, but not as intense as Mace's concern would warrant. Frustration rose in him, and he quenched it with difficulty. If this was just some elaborate ruse to get him to come back to Coruscant…
No. That didn't ring true. Not with the restrained panic that he had seen in Master Windu's eyes. But he could barely sense Obi-Wan at all; it was almost as though his Master was –
No. He would know if Obi-Wan had… he would have felt it.
He would know.
A blinking light on the console of his starfighter informed him of the landing coordinates he had been set to follow. What with the air traffic on the planet at all times of the day, the holding pattern in the atmosphere could potentially last for hours.
He didn't have hours.
Ignoring R2's terrified screech of protest, Anakin threw the fighter forwards into a nosedive, down through the layers of atmosphere that heated the outer metal to temperatures so high the ship seemed to glow. He hadn't done this since he had been obliged to land Grievous's flag ship.
Even then, he had had Obi-Wan by his side. If he could do it all over again, he would have blown up the ship from space, killed the false Chancellor, Dooku, and Grievous, just so that Obi-Wan wouldn't have to suffer.
There was no landing platform in sight. Anakin heaved back on the controls, bringing his super-heated ship into a gradual ascent, dodging between the larger, more ungainly craft, emergency klaxons blaring at him from all sides. Rising above the level of the tallest buildings, he let the high winds buffet the small vessel until the exterior began to cool.
Then he dove down once again, weaving manically through the multi-layered streams of traffic that bisected the city. He was heading for the Jedi Temple, as fast as he could possibly fly.
(I'm coming Obi-Wan. Hold on. I'm coming.)
---
He couldn't tell whether he was dreaming or awake. There was no way of knowing, when his very senses were lying to him. Were the dark room, the uncomfortable bed, and that omnipresent agony the real world? Or was it just a dream that he had been living, and the visions that passed before his eyes were the truth instead…?
The boy was scrawny, blonde with unnaturally wide blue eyes, staring at him in awe and disbelief as Master Qui-Gon introduced him –
Master Qui-Gon pulled him closer, gasping ragged breaths as he struggled to hold onto life, to impart a final request in his final moments –
"Be mindful of the present moment, young one." He hated it when Qui-Gon called him that, even though Yoda had told him to –
"Become Master Qui-Gon's Padawan, you will. Learn much from him, you can," Yoda said sagely, nodding his head –
"We're headed for Naboo this time, Padawan," Qui-Gon tried to smile, but only managed to look fatalistic. "Well, at least this place is civilised. I suppose we'll have to see what the future holds –"
"Clouded the boy's future is, difficult to see –"
"What is that supposed to mean? And I don't give a fuck about your rules! He's my friend, and he needs me!"
That voice was so familiar… that sudden, burning light within the Force, reaching out to him from the deep well of blackness in which he was trapped.
(Anakin?)
---
Fucking Sith Hell, but he was ready to reach into the Force and throttle the life out of Barriss Offee. Even as some part of his brain registered that this probably wouldn't be appropriate – Obi-Wan certainly wouldn't approve – the rest of him was screaming for her blood. She was trying to keep him from the side of the man he loved, but Anakin had come too far to be deterred.
"Barriss," he tried to maintain a modulated, polite, tone of voice. "I need to see Master Kenobi. Master Windu summoned me back to take care of him."
The young Jedi woman stiffened slightly, as though put on the defensive by his implications. "We are taking care of him, Master Skywalker," she put a deliberate emphasis on his last name, alerting him to the fact that his casual approach was getting him nowhere. "Master Kenobi is sleeping, and he is not to be disturbed."
"I won't wake him, I promise –" Anakin cut himself off, aware of just how immature and whiny he was sounding. Barriss had always brought out the worst in him.
He tried to ignore the way she arched one eyebrow slightly at his protest, making him feel about three feet tall, when in reality, he towered over her. Barriss had always been one to follow the rules much more closely than he himself had. It had made him wonder on many occasions whether or not she would have been a better Padawan Learner for Obi-Wan.
"Anakin." - How he hated that condescending tone falling from her prim lips. - "You are not a Healer. I promise that Master Luminara is taking good care of Obi-Wan, and you must understand that there are rules here. Your presence would do more harm than good, Anakin."
He chuckled in disbelief, shaking his head slowly. He had known Barriss to be the better Jedi of the two of them when it came to obeying orders and studying the Force. He hadn't realized how truly pedantic she could be. It didn't matter that they had been tentative friends once; she was trying to keep him from Obi-Wan, and that meant that she was an enemy.
"More harm than good?" he repeated softly, lips twitching slightly in an effort to remain calm. A wasted effort. "What is that supposed to mean? And I don't give a fuck about your rules! He's my friend, and he needs me!" he was shouting now, advancing on her so that she shrank back against the wall.
(Anakin?)
Obi-Wan's voice made him whirl; it had sounded so close!
But Barriss wasn't finished with him yet. Striding forward, ashamed of her momentary retreat, she shoved Anakin back a step, her eyes blazing. "He's your friend? Then why the fucking Sith Hell haven't you been here? If you're his friend, then you should have brought him here before now, before-" she took a deep breath, recovering herself, recovering her anger. "You're the one who abandoned him, Anakin, so don't you dare take that out on me!"
Abandoned him.
Abandoned.
Him.
Anakin stared at her in mute shock. She was right, of course, Barriss was always right. He had known Obi-Wan wasn't at his best, that he was still fragile after duelling with Pal – with Sidious, after being tortured by Ventress. He had snuck into Obi-Wan's room at night enough times to know that his Master still had nightmares about Rattatak, and had sat by his Master's side hour after hour, stroking his hair, trying to keep those nightmares at bay.
And then he had left. One little prick to his overblown pride, one imagined rejection, and he had run away.
He had abandoned the one person he cared about.
"The way the two of you are carrying on, it's hard to tell whether this is an infirmary or a battleground." Master Luminara's voice, though light, carried a strong undercurrent of disapproval that made Anakin flush darkly, as though he was still a Padawan being chastised for some transgression.
"Master Luminara-" Barriss began, but the older Jedi woman cut off her apprentice with a sharp wave of her hand.
"Let him in, Barriss, he deserves to be here." She gave Anakin a long, appraising look. "Besides, if we don't, I have a feeling that he would tear this place apart. Come! Your racket will wake my patients."
With a small scowl, Barriss stood aside to let Anakin rush past her, surprised when he didn't make any smug smiles or gestures in her direction to rub his triumph in her face. No, there was only a semi-dormant panic, an anxiety that robbed grace from his movements. He was terrified for Obi-Wan's health, she realised. The selfish young boy that he had been had grown into a considerate young man. Interesting.
Barriss bit her lip as she turned to follow Master Luminara and Anakin with her eyes. That sort of attachment was dangerous. Anakin loved his Master deeply, enough that he was ready to attack anyone who stood between him and Obi-Wan's side.
Understanding the inevitability of his Master's condition would not be easy for him….Closing her eyes, she sent out a wave of emotion through the Force to Anakin.
(I'm sorry. I was wrong.)
She felt the momentary brush of his mind against hers, forgiveness, understanding… then their connection was broken as his mind sought out another. Obi-Wan.
"Be strong, Anakin," she whispered, "for both your sakes."
----
Luminara stopped once they were out of Barriss' line of vision to regard Anakin severely. "I want you to know that it's against my better judgement that I'm even letting you in here. Understand that this is more for his sake than for yours, young one."
Anakin gaped wordlessly at her, unsure from where her abrupt harshness with him was coming.
"Master, respectfully, I –"
"Do you have any idea what happened to Obi-Wan on Rattatak?" her voice was so hard, angry… but it wasn't an anger directed at him. No, the simmering rage was the fury of a Healer who has seen the foulest depths to which sentient beings could resort.
One who had seen the work of the sadist, Asajj Ventress.
Anakin froze, pulled unwillingly back to that foul dungeon, that stinking, putrid cell, the hopeless, dull look in his Master's eyes. Saw once again the hideous wounds marring that fair skin, remembered how Obi-Wan had cringed away from him, scared of being hurt once again.
His fault.
Luminara must have read the pain in his eyes, for she steered the younger Jedi into her chambers, pushing him gently down into a chair. Anakin caught his breath, staring up at the terrible compassion on her face. It was this bad?
The Healer hesitated for a moment, staring off into some unknown realm as though seeking guidance from the Force. A long, slow sigh escaped her, and she used the Force to call a small object from her desk into the palm of her hand. With a searching look, Luminara handed him the small crystalline vial for his perusal.
"Do you know what that is?"
Anakin held the small container up to the light, seeing something tiny wriggling around inside the glassy interior.
"A worm of some sort?" he hazarded, unsure what relevance this biology lesson had to the present situation. He hadn't heard Obi-Wan's voice in his mind since his argument with Barriss, and it was making him edgy.
"A maggot." Luminara corrected him gently, kneeling in front of him and taking his free hand in both her own. "It's a carnivorous strain, Anakin…I believe that Ventress forced Obi-Wan to ingest them."
"What are you saying?"
"Anakin… he was being eaten alive from the inside out." Her eyes were so sad, staring into his. He jerked his head back in rejection of that claim, wide eyed and terrified, like a little boy who has just been told that he too is mortal. One day, all things will die….
"NO!" he shouted, snatching his hand away from hers. The maggot inside the container exploded in a small puff of blood. "He's fine! He was fine after we returned from Rattatak, you're just angry that you weren't the one to heal him!"
"Anakin," Luminara insisted, "Whatever Force-Healing was done on Obi-Wan only put the maggots into a dormant cycle. The Sith lightning of Sidious must have reawakened them."
"You're lying!" he screamed again, rising from the chair and pushing her backwards with the Force. He felt sick, as though something was eating him from the inside as well. There was a strange pounding in his temples, he dimly wondered if he was about to pass out….
"You know how Obi-Wan is; he would never tell anyone that he wasn't feeling all right. He never admits to any sort of physical weakness."
He didn't want to hear this. He could tell what she was trying to say to him, what sinister message lay behind all these explanations and justifications.
"Shut up," he whispered furiously, throwing out one hand to keep her at bay.
"Anakin, I'm just trying to prepare you."
This was all his fault, he should have been here with Obi-Wan, should have realized that his Master wasn't well. Should have stayed with him.
"Shut up!"
"There's nothing more that I, or any other healer, can do for him."
Please stop, please. Don't tell me what I don't want to hear, just make this stop, make it end.
"He's dying Anakin. I'm so sorry."
No.
He wanted to scream and rage at her, to deny it. But there was no anger left in him, no strength. He sagged back down into the chair, as though his were the muscles consumed by maggots. He lacked the ability to stand.
"No…"
He barely even registered the keening sound that was his own voice, the thin cry of grief that escaped his throat as he buried his head in his hands. Sobbing, rocking back and forth slightly. Letting the hot tears flood down his cheeks, his eyes burning, his heart breaking.
No, no, nononononono.
Luminara put her arms around him, resting her chin on top of his head. He hadn't been held like this since he had left home, thirteen years ago. With a howl, he threw himself into her embrace, wanting to smother himself in that protection, to hide himself away from the world.
She rocked him back and forth in her arms, just like his mother had always done, stroking his hair and murmuring wordless sounds of comfort.
It wasn't enough. It wasn't nearly enough.
"I need to see him," he muttered thickly against her shoulder. "Please, let me stay with him."
When Luminara pulled away, he saw that her face, too, was stained with tears. Silently, she nodded, giving him her permission as she rose unsteadily to her feet.
Anakin scrubbed at his face with the back of his hand, wiping away the evidence of his momentary lapse in composure. He didn't want Obi-Wan to see him upset, that would only hurt his Master more. He wouldn't let that happen. He would do everything he could for Obi-Wan, his Master, his love, anything and everything that the older Jedi desired. He would give everything to be able to protect Obi-Wan.
Even if was already too late.
END PART 2
Have your tissues ready Temple Mistress? Because part three is on its way! Hah! You already know how it ends though, so it shouldn't be too bad, right? Right?
Apologies and cries for forgiveness if this part felt a little more… rushed. It was part three that was the original idea for this fic, and I wanted to get to it! This is all just lead-up!
Anyhoo, isn't that thing with the maggots gross? He actually was forced to ingest them in the graphic novel… but then seemed to suffer no ill-effects from it! What the FORCE? Well, thanks to Temple Mistress for informing me of that little piece of sadism on Ventress' part, and putting the idea in my head for future use. Mwahahaa.
PLEASE REVIEW! Or else Obi-Wan will be very, very sad. Hasn't the poor guy suffered enough?
Amities,
XTINE.