Isn't Someone Missing Me?
By: Emeraldragon (formally known as Ashie)
Summary: After Harry's battle with Voldemort, Harry dies and meets Persephone, the guardian of the afterlife. She bargains that Harry can be brought back to life if he can find one person whose life was completely ruined by his death. Harry's soul sets out on possibly his toughest mission yet.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry or any of his co-characters. They rightfully belong to JKRowling. The song, "Missing" belongs to Evanescence.
RESPONSE TO REVIEWS-Writorsblock- I sincerely apologize about not putting a warning about HBP spoilers. This is the first time I've posted a fic so close to a Harry Potter book release date, and completely forgot. I hope I haven't ruined the book for you. As you might have noticed, I put a spoiler warning, as well as a H/D Slash warning in my summary. Hopefully this will keep others who have yet to read HBP away from this fic.
-Serenity Chair- Thanks for the review! Out of all of my reviewers, you seem to be the one who is catching on the most. What you suspect of Draco is very true. Wait and see! I hope I won't disappoint you.
-Satoooooshi- Thanks for the review! I love your pen name, and was wondering if you got the name from DNAngel? And I might take you up on your offer for a beta. I've never had one, and it might be a good idea for me to do so. I'll let you know when I decide, okay?
-Thanks go out to: flame, MagickBeing, Lady Isis, Victoria0204, Eve-Phire, Mak Felton, mechan (cute name, by the way!), Sweet-single, Anon, Dark-Linkia, AtadObsessive46, Shakespeares Whore, and everyone else who reviewed! Be sure to do it again! ;)
Isn't Someone Missing Me? -Pt. Three of Four"Bye, then. Thanks again," Harry began to walk away, but then turned around. "And…don't worry about him. I know that he's fine, and he misses you both very much," and before either of them could respond, Harry disapperated.
Hermione and Ron stood in the doorway for a moment, looking at the spot where Harry had just stood.
"Ron?" asked Hermione quietly.
"What is it?"
"Do you…do you think that maybe, just maybe –"
"You know what, Hermione?" sighed Ron, giving her hand a small squeeze. "I think you may actually be right…."
Harry knocked upon the door of Draco Malfoy's apartment. Harry waited nervously for the door to open. However, after several long moments, his nervousness was replaced with annoyance. It had been difficult to find Malfoy's flat, and he was irritated that Malfoy didn't even answer. He tried again, this time harder. The door swung open, and Harry realized that it had been open the entire time.
"Malfoy?" Harry called, peeking his head into the room. The lights were all off, and a stillness lay upon the place. There was no response. "Draco Malfoy? Are you there?" Harry called again. There was still no answer.
Harry was about to close the door and leave, when he was suddenly overcome by fear. He opened the door wider and quietly walked in. He drew his borrowed wand out his pocket, and whispered "Lumos,"
He moved the thin beam of light across the floor, and over the furniture. There was a fine layer of dust on the wooden table in the living room, as well as on the rest of the room. It seemed as if the place was uninhabited.
Harry moved his way down the hall at the end of the room. There were three doors, but only one was open. Harry moved into the open door and into what seemed to be the bedroom. There was an enormous four-post bed up against the center of the opposite wall. Next to that was a dresser, and on the opposite wall was a closet. It seemed completely normal, except it showed signs of someone living there. The bed had recently been slept in, and the dresser seemed to be in use.
There was a loud bang behind him, and Harry whirled around, his temporary heart beating wildly in his chest. Then Harry noticed that light was issuing from the crack underneath the door across from him. He slowly moved forward, his wand raised.
"Hello?" Harry asked. "Malfoy? Are you in there?" There was instant silence from the room for a moment. Then there was rushed clatter, the light turned off, and the door opened.
"Who the hell are you?" snapped the figure in the doorway. "What the fuck are you doing here?"
"I'm James Evans…Hermione Granger spoke to you about me. I was supposed to come here."
"Oh, it's you," sighed Malfoy. He snapped his fingers once, and all the lights in the apartment suddenly glared to life, giving Harry his first glance at Draco Malfoy.
Malfoy was pale, unhealthily so. His skin was translucent, and there were circles under his eyes. His hair was silver-blonde, and a complete mess; it seemed he had not taken care of his hair in a long while. He was wearing a long sleeved black shirt that hung loosely around his thin neck and baggy black jeans that were held up by a green leather belt. Malfoy was starring at him, his pale gray eyes surprised and unfocussed. He blinked after a moment.
"You're…you're…." Draco stammered, and his hands seemed to be shaking. Harry frowned worriedly at him.
"I'm James Evans, as I've said before." Harry kept his wand firmly in his hand, and Malfoy seemed to notice this as well. He took a step back, and stood taller, almost as if sizing Harry up.
"Right," Malfoy said airily, his personality completely changed. "I'm Draco Malfoy. Sorry for the, er, rude welcome. It's just that you caught me at a bad time."
"Should I come at a better time?" Harry asked, lowering his wand.
"No, the damage has already been done." A strange smile passed over Draco's face. "Let's just get this over with." Draco walked into the living room, and over to the table. He waved his wand and instantly the dust disappeared.
They both say down at the table, facing each other. "So what do you want, exactly?" Malfoy asked, staring down at his hands.
"I need to know how you feel about Harry Potter's death,"
Malfoy's head snapped up to look at Harry, wide eyes consumed with fury. "How I feel?" he ground out, eyes narrowing. "Let's see. How about I take all of those you hold dear, make them miserable and torture them, and then force you to watch me kill them slowly and painfully. And then, just for kicks, I could ask you how you felt about that. How would that feel? Because just imagine that, but only much, much worse."
Harry opened his mouth to say something-anything-but found he had no response to what Malfoy had just asked him. He closed his mouth quickly.
"Did that answer your question?" Malfoy sneered.
"Look, Malfoy, I'm not here to hurt you, or anyone else for that matter,"
"Did I say you were?" Malfoy snapped. Harry sighed, biting his lower lip in thought, as he always did. Malfoy said nothing more, just stared at Harry unblinkingly.
After a few more moments, Harry stood. "Sorry about all this, Malfoy, I didn't mean to stir up the past. Just forget I was ever here. I'll get help from someone else." Harry walked over to the door, and let himself out.
Just as he reached the ground floor, hand on the door handle, he faltered. He knew that Malfoy was probably his last chance.
"Wait! Don't leave!" Malfoy shouted form above, leaning over the railing and looking down at Harry, a frantic and hysterical look on his pale face. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Come back; I'll tell you whatever you want,"
"You sure?" Harry asked, completely bewildered.
"Yes, now will you get back up here? I don't want to make a scene," Malfoy's face disappeared from over the railing and Harry could hear a door opening. Harry walked back up to the apartment. Malfoy was already sitting at the table, and smiled when Harry walked in.
"Well, shall we start?" Malfoy asked, and Harry simply nodded and sat down in his previous seat. "I'm guessing that you'd like to know what happened that night in as much detail as possible, correct?"
"Actually, no." Harry shook his head, and Malfoy frowned. "All I need to know is how you felt; how you feel.
"Now, as you know, I've already talked to Hermione and Ron. They mentioned a few things that I'm curious about."
"Such as?"
"Well, the thing that sort of caught me off guard was the fact that you never cried after Harry Potter's death. Hermione told me that the two of you were dating, and were very close. It seems strange to a lot of people that you never cried about his death."
Malfoy didn't respond for a few moments. His face suddenly became grim, and his eyes were haunted by a darkness Harry hadn't seen before. It seemed as if Malfoy was being attacked by a dementor, or something evil was possessing him. Harry became worried, and once again thought twice about what he was doing.
"Malfoy? Are you okay?" Harry leaned forward, and looked up into Malfoy's haunted silvery eyes. Malfoy blinked, and put his hands up to cover his face.
"It's true," Malfoy said, his voice muffled behind his hands. "I've never cried. But I know that they are assuming that I didn't love him, or that I don't miss him. I know they knew Harry a lot longer than I did, but they will never, ever experience the pain I feel every second. Just because I haven't cried on the surface, doesn't mean I'm not balling my eyes out on the inside."
Harry then noticed that one of the sleeves of Malfoy's shirts had fallen a little, just far enough to reveal a slightly bloody bandage wrapped around his wrist. Harry's eyes widened in suspecting horror, but quickly hid his expression as Malfoy lowered his hands.
"Do you want to know why I've never cried?" Malfoy asked quietly, the corners of his mouth twitching downwards slightly. "As I held Harry, right before he died, he looked up at me, put his hand on my cheek, and said, 'Draco, don't cry.' Those were his last words, and I've followed them to this very day. The second he uttered his last words, I wiped my tears and haven't shed another since. And I plan to keep it that way until the day I die."
Harry nodded sullenly. "So that's why. It must be very hard for you, not having any way to vent your emotions."
Malfoy said nothing, just looked sideways at Harry blankly.
"Hermione told me that Harry was covered in blood when he was found. She said it didn't make any sense because she was told that Harry was not hit by a single spell. Do you know why he was bleeding so horribly?"
"Yes," Malfoy said quietly, his eyes becoming even more obstructed by inner demons. "But I don't want anyone to know, it'll only worry them further."
"Was it his blood?"
Malfoy considered this question for a moment. "In a matter of speaking, yes. I suppose you could say that."
Harry didn't quite understand why Malfoy worded his answer the way he did, but he didn't question it.
Harry thought for a few seconds, trying to think of what to ask Malfoy next. After a moment he said, "I know that Harry Potter died right after defeating Voldemort-" Malfoy's head slipped from it's position on his hand, "-but I don't know how, or why I should say. I was hoping you could fill me in a little."
"I don't know," Malfoy whispered, his eyes looking down at his lap. "Since Harry was already dead when Aurors and the Magical Law Enforcement appeared, no one could ask him how it had happened. All I know is that both Harry's and Voldemort's autopsies showed that neither of them had any magic left within them. Usually, the medi-witch or wizard has to remove the magic from the dead body. But it wasn't needed for either of them, because for some reason it was already gone. No one could explain it."
Harry frowned at Malfoy. He had reacted strangely when Harry said 'Voldemort', and yet he didn't restrain from saying it himself. Malfoy was acting very peculiar, and Harry was deeply troubled by the bandage around Malfoy's wrist.
"Malfoy," Harry started, deciding to be blunt and get his meaning clear. "Would you say that the death of Harry Potter has completely ruined your life?"
Malfoy's eyebrows rose momentarily, and he raked a hand through his slightly tangled lochs. "Why are you asking me this?"
"That is why I'm here. Your answer to that question is all I really need to know." Harry reached out across the table, and placed his hand on top of Malfoy's. Malfoy's expression was blank. "Please, Draco. I need to know. It is more important than you can imagine."
"Why does it matter so much to you?" he whispered, his hand lifeless in Harry's. "It is an extremely private and personal question. What gives you the right to ask this of me?"
"If I don't find out, it could mean someone's life," Harry said, and gave Draco's hand a comforting squeeze. Draco's eyes glazed over, and he leaned closer to Harry.
"Harry?" Draco whispered quietly, and Harry had to strain his ears to hear him. Harry froze.
"W-what?"
"Harry…is that you?'
"Dra-Malfoy. Malfoy, are you okay? What are you talking about?" Harry drew his hand back slowly, and Draco leaned forward and recaptured it.
"You're Harry, aren't you? Please, tell me. You have to be him!" Harry could feel Draco's hand shaking. He lent forward and put a hand to Draco's cheek.
"Draco, calm down." Harry said sternly, now taking a hold of the smaller boy's shoulders. "Just breath, Draco. Calm down."
Harry leaned forward a bit more, and the amulet from Persephone fell from its hiding place beneath his shirt. It dangled between the two, and Draco looked at it with wonder.
"What is this?" Draco asked, and reached out a shaking hand to touch it. Just as his fingertips touched the black marble's surface, a flash of purple light flash throughout the room, and then faded.
Once the spots from his eyes cleared, he saw that Draco was crumpled on the floor, clearly unconscious.
"Draco!" Harry yelled worriedly, and he leapt from his seat and kneeled over Draco on the floor. "Draco! Wake up!" Harry shook Draco lightly, but there was no response.
Harry scooped up Draco from the floor, and carried him to the bedroom. Laying him carefully onto the bed, he vanished his clothes and replaced them with pajamas. He tucked Draco in, and turned off the light. Sighing, he conjured a chair, and sat down next to Draco's bed.
He looked down at his amulet, and took it off angrily. He didn't know what type of charms Persephone put on it, and he couldn't risk being interrupted in his conversation again. He shoved it in his pocket and rested his head upon his folded arms.
For some reason, he felt completely at peace with sitting next to Draco's bed while he slept, and he couldn't shake off his deep sense of worry. On top of that, there was a strange feeling in his chest, as if someone was inside of him, squeezing his heart lightly. It was difficult to describe, but he liked it as much as it was uncomfortable. It made him smile and worry at the same time.
Harry stroked a hand through his hair in frustration, and closed his eyes. Draco's face filled his thoughts as he slowly drifted off to sleep for the first time in three months.
Harry blearily opened his eyes, and sat up. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes with a yawn, and looked down at Draco's bed, only to find him not there.
Instantly alarmed, Harry stood up, his chair silently vanishing, and walked out into the hall. The bathroom door was side open, but the one at the end of the hall was still closed. He turned to go into the living room when a loud thump echoed from the closed door. Harry quickly turned back, and opened the door.
The scene that met Harry's eyes would haunt him forever. Draco was huddled in the corner of the room, holding both of his wrists, as scarlet blood gushed through the gaps between his fingers. Blood was silently pouring down his front, and a stain was slowly spreading across the cream carpet.
"Draco!" Harry yelled in a horror and rushed forward. Harry collapsed next to him, and pulled Draco's hands away from his wrists. The wounds were deep, clearing all doubt in Harry's mind that it wasn't accidental. He took out his wand and muttered an incantation that was almost a song, and the skin began to heal over. He said the spell again, and by the third time the wounds were completely healed.
"Draco, look at me. Look at me, damn it!" Harry's voice was strangled, and he was shaking horribly. Draco slowly looked up Harry.
"How did you know that spell?" Draco whispered, his voice cracking.
"What?" Harry's heart sped up; something wasn't right. "Why?"
"One of my old Professors created that spell. No one knew it except him. He used it on me once when-"
"-Harry Potter hurt you," Harry finished quietly, his blood running cold. Draco's eyes widened.
"How did you know that? How do you know?"
"I…I don't know," Harry gasped as memories rushed through his head, his entire life being flashed before him in an instant. All of his memories were returning to him, all of the ones Persephone had put a seal on. He didn't understand it; why did he remember everything all of the sudden? He remembered the night Draco declared his love for him, the night Sirius died, when he became friends with Hermione and Ron, everything.
Harry looked down at Draco, tears streaming down his cheek. He couldn't believe he'd let it come to this- dying in the final battle, and Draco trying to commit suicide three months later. "It's all my fault," he whispered, still holding Draco's wrists. He could feel how cold Draco was, he felt the blood from the carpet soaking the knees of his pant, the coppery smell threatening to make him wretch. "Why, Draco, why? Why did you do this?"
Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
I know what you do to yourself.
I breathe deep and cry out.
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
"I can't wait anymore," Draco said, staring down at the carpet that was stained with his blood. "I can't wait everyday for him…I can't wait to die anymore!"
"Draco, dying isn't an option!" Harry yelled angrily, and hastily wiped his angry tears. "How do you think I…How do you think Harry would feel? Knowing that you killed yourself, ending your life, just to see him? Haven't you ever thought to consider what he might be going through right now? That he might be trying to get back to you? What if he did come back, and you had killed yourself? What would he do then? Answer me, damn it!"
"James, I-I didn't think-I don't know!" Draco wrenched his arms out of Harry's grasp and tried to stand. He got halfway and then collapsed.
"Draco!" Harry reached out and helped him into a standing position. "You can't exert yourself, you've lost an incredible amount of blood. I'm going to Floo the Weasleys' and see if they have any Blood Replenishing Potion."
"No!" Draco said weakly. "I don't want them to know…please,"
"Don't worry, I'm not going to tell them." Harry helped Draco into the living room, and placed him in a seat. He then went to the fireplace, and taking a pinch of Floo powder from the sac off of the mantelpiece, said "The Burrow!" and promptly stuck his head in.
Once he stopped spinning, he could see clearly into the Weasley's kitchen. "Hello! Mrs. Weasley? Are you there?"
There was the scrape of a chair being moved, and footsteps. Hermione walked into the room.
"James!" she said, clearly surprised. "Where are you?"
"I'm at Draco's." he said shortly. "Listen, Hermione, I need a Blood Replenishing Potion for Draco,"
"Merlin, what happened?" she gasped, and started to walk forward.
"It's nothing, it's just that Draco is busy right now and he asked me to Floo over here and ask for him. He would himself but-"
"Don't worry about it, James. I'll go ask Molly. I'll be back in a second." Hermione walked off, a slightly suspicious look on her face. Harry sighed in relief.
Hermione returned a mere few seconds later, followed by Mrs. Weasley, who was holding a bottle of potion.
"James, dear! I wasn't suspecting to hear form you,"
"Hello, Mrs.Weasley. Sorry about all of this. Draco sends his thanks."
"Tell him we all hope to see him soon."
"Will do," Harry said. "It was nice to see you again, Hermione, please tell Ron I say hello."
"Okay. Bye, James!" Hermione placed the bottle in Harry's mouth, and pulled his head out of the fire. He took the bottle out of his mouth and handed it to Draco.
"Did you tell them?" Draco asked, opening the bottle and swallowing it quickly.
"No," Harry took the bottle form Draco and threw it in the rubbish bin. "I told them you needed it for something and were busy, so you asked me to ask for you."
Draco nodded. "Thanks," Harry sat down across form Draco.
"Listen, I saw your bandages yesterday,"
"You did?" Draco asked, alarmed.
"Yeah." Harry fidgeted in his seat. "Do you…do you do it often?"
Even though I'm the sacrifice
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?
Draco silently pushed up his sleeves, and held out his wrist for Harry. Harry gaped at the scars decorating both of Draco's inner forearms. On his right spelled 'Harry' in straight, narrow scars. Harry found it difficult to breathe.
"I've been seeing a psychiatrist since the day after Harry's funeral. I've never told anyone,"
"Not even Ron or Hermione?"
"No, especially them. They already have so much to worry about as it is," Draco lowered his gaze. "I'm such a bother to everyone,"
"No, Draco, you're not. They are worried about you, they'd want to know."
Draco shook his head. "Either way, it's difficult to tell people. They'd look at me as if I was a freak, or something."
"Have you ever done it so bad before today?"
"No," Draco said, lowering his sleeves. "I've never done it to kill myself before, it was just to vent emotion. But today, I woke up, and I just…couldn't do it anymore. I don't want to be here anymore."
"Draco…"Harry whispered, all of his love for the blonde surfacing, and he had to choke back a sob. "You need to wait. Harry's doing his best to get back to you, I'm sure."
And if I breathe, I'll breathe
Knowing you don't care.
And if I sleep just to dream of you,
I'll wake without you there.
Isn't something missing?
Isn't something…
"Why do you say these things to me?" Draco asked, his voice angry and desperate at the same time. "You act as if you know…as if Harry talks to you! As if you are Harry!"
"Do you think I'm Harry, Draco?" Harry asked, and Draco looked up, stunned into silence. "I know you do…but why? What makes you think I'm Harry?"
Draco didn't answer for a moment. "There are signs. The first thing I noticed about you was how you held your wand. You were standing in the same stance, the exact way Harry would. And when I saw you, I thought I was dreaming. I thought you were Harry. You look so much alike, and yet so different. Then there's just how you talk. You say the same things he would, use the same expressions."
"Draco, once again, I have to ask you. Did the death of Harry Potter ruin your life?"
Draco took a deep, shaky breath. "Yes,"
Harry stood up, his chair falling to the floor with a clatter. "I have to go."
"Go?" Draco asked, uncomprehending. "Go? Why?"
"There's something I need to do. Something important."
"No!" Draco sprang to his feet, taking hold of the front of Harry's robes. "You can't go! Not now…not when I…"
"Draco, it'll be okay. Everything will be fine." Harry gently pried Draco's hands off of his chest. "You have to let me go."
"But…"
"Shhh." Harry put a finger to his lips, and then leaned down, and kissed Draco. Draco's eyes widened for a moment, and then kissed back. Harry pulled away.
Draco watched helplessly as Harry walked out the door, and out of the building.
"You know," Draco whispered to himself. "I love you, and I don't know why. That's the biggest clue that leads me to believe that you're my Harry. Ever since I saw you, I couldn't help but love you."
From his balcony, his watched as Harry turned into an alleyway that had a dead end. Perplexed, he saw Harry take something out of his pocket and place it around his neck. Harry put his wand tip up to his temple. With a sudden realization, Draco watched in horror as a green light issued from Harry's wand. Harry lied upon the ground, not moving.
Draco crumbled to the ground as he realized that the only two people he had ever loved were now dead.
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
End of Pt. Three
To Be Continued…
Author's Note: Well, only one more part to go! Out of these three parts, this one was the most difficult to write by far. I had so many ideas and ways for this chapter to go…so I let my fingers do the writing. I honestly didn't even think while I was writing this. It just happened. Hahaha, now I sound like some kind of psycho or something. Wasn't the ending of this chapter just a tearjerker? Wasn't the entire thing? I hope you all don't hate me! Please Read and Review! The faster the reviews roll in, the faster Part Four rolls out!