Part Four

Lindsay walked slowly out of Elizabeth's room and tried to compose herself. Why was it that just when things seemed to be going so right they always ended up so wrong? She had barely been able to maintain her professional demeanor while telling Lucky and Jax about Liz's miscarriage. The pain had been written all over her face as she broke the news.

"I thought you said the baby was fine."

Lindsay was startled by Jax's low voice. She saw him slumped against the wall in the hallway outside Liz's room. His face was unreadable, but she had seen the devastationin his eyeswhen he learned about the miscarriage.

"Jax..." she began, but he cut her off.

"You stood there and told me that things were OK." he repeated. "You showed me the test results. What went wrong?"

"Babies are fragile little beings, Jax. There are any number of things that could have gone wrong." Lindsay shrugged helplessly. "I don't have the answers that you are looking for."

"You're her doctor, Lindsay! Where am I supposed to get the damn answers then?" Jax demanded.

Lindsay lowered her voice, knowing that Jax was in ten different kinds of pain right now. "Sometimes there are no answers. Even medical ones. This one was out of our hands."

Jax brushed her off with a wave of his hand.

"Lucky and Liz were asking for you, if you want to go back in there." she said helplessly, gesturing to the hospital room behind them.

"Why would she want to see the man who killed her child?" Jax asked bitterly.

"You didn't..." Lindsay began to protest, but again Jax cut her off.

"I was driving the car. I caused the accident!" he shouted.

"Jax, there is no way to determine whether the accident caused Liz to miscarry. You can't blame yourself." Lindsay tried to be reassuring, but she knew it was pointless. Jax would take the guilt that he carried to the grave.

Lindsay looked up at him and it was only then thatshe noticed the tears in his eyes. She reached up and wiped away the one tear that had escaped his eyelids and was traveling down his cheek. He reached up to cover her hand with his and their eyes met in a moment of complete tenderness. She wished at that moment that she had the power to take his pain away. She was a doctor...that's what she did. Take people's pain away.

But nothing in all of her medical training had prepared her for this.