Chapter 4

For a while now things were okay for Jackie, nobody asked questions and she was left in her silence and staring. However the one person who didn't seem to let go was Hyde. He would always send her these looks as if trying to figure Jackie out. Jackie wasn't too fazed by this, she would just close her eyes and watch the pretend world on her eyelids, it was great for passing time.

It was Saturday evening, Eric and Donna were playing tonsil hockey, Fez was watching them, and Kelso and Hyde were watching Charlie's Angels. Jackie sat next to Kelso on the couch, but suddenly everything was too much, the room was too small, and everything was too intimidating. Without a word Jackie walked out of the basement and on to the streets. It was a warm July evening and the warm, setting sun on Jackie's face was comfy. She didn't know where she was going, she never knew anymore, now she just let her feet carry her. Jackie found herself at the park, a place she was deprived of as a child, her mother always said it was a place where 'dirty children' played. Back then that all made sense, but now, she felt she belonged here.

The park was empty, caring mothers usually brought their children in at this time, to save them from the unsuspecting horrors that are the night. Jackie sat down on the swing and lazily rocked back and forth, letting her head sag. As a child, everything made sense, you were always given a G rated version of the world, so life was always considered grand. People figured that as you got older, you were able to handle more, and slowly, your rating went from G to PG to PG-13 to when you don't know what to think of the world. Sometimes people need to understand that some of us don't want the grown-up truth, that we would all like the child version. Because what children have, is the one thing adults lack the most. Hope.

Jackie looked up from the dirt ground and stared in to the setting sun, and knew that things would always be different now. She couldn't be a part of the basement gang the way she could have before, and she couldn't be the Jackie she was known as before. Because she was sick of lying, and sick of dreaming, and sick of depending. But it all came down to the fact that Jackie was just sick in general.

An angry tear found its way to the trodden ground before her. And soon, there was no more light, not because the sun was set but because someone was standing in front of her.

Jackie looked up and found herself staring into the clear blues of Stephen Hyde. Hyde kneeled in front of her, not once breaking eye contact, and wiped away the tears. Jackie looked down in to this and saw pity, to her dislike, and understanding and faith. Hyde spoke firmly and truthfully.

"I know you're hurting, and I know it's deep, and while you choose to not let anyone in let me tell you ahead of time that that is a big mistake because I have been there, and if you don't let anyone in, you will slowly but surely lose any sanity you thought you had claimed before. Now I don't know how deep your scars run here, but let me tell you, whether it be me, Donna, Foreman, Fez, or Kitty, you need to tell someone. Take the time you need to heal, but I've seen you, you're a ghost of your former self. Telling someone might be the way to recovery."

After Hyde was done talking, he waited for Jackie's reaction. At first it was just an open-mouthed wide eyed stare, but she soon closed both her eyes and mouth and let out a shaky breath.

"It runs deep, deeper than the shallow person I am." She let out another shaky breath, someone hesitant but relieved to let it out. "But I'm trapped, and I won't ever be the same Jackie again, it's impossible….after….hurt, and……and pain…..I just…..can't." The tears were coursing their way down her cheeks and Hyde took the small Jackie in his arms and she collapsed to his chest letting out shaky breaths and hot tears. This was all new to Hyde; he had never been this emotional with anyone, let alone a girl. But Hyde felt she was his responsibility, and only person who could understand.

After only a few minutes of crying Jackie crawled her way out of his grasp and stood up, dusting off her already dirty pants. She was holding herself back and closing up again. It happens when people get scared.

Jackie looked up in to Hyde's eyes for only a second. She had to look away, those eyes made her want to tell him everything, and the look he gave her only made her want to cry. So Jackie did the one thing she knew best; she walked away.

Hyde was not going to settle for that, he quickly caught up with her and stood in front of her.

"Jackie, come on, why do you keep hiding yourself back here. Why aren't you letting anyone in? Why?"

Jackie's tears were long gone by now and anger quickly filled its place.

"Where do you get off telling me what's right? What the hell do you know about me-" Hyde cut her off.

"Nothing! I know nothing, because you won't let me in-" Jackie in turn cut him off.

"Because I don't want you to know! Why do you care? You never cared before! Why start now? Why?" Jackie was now close to hysterics.

"Because I know exactly what you're feeling because I've been through it"

Jackie glared at him in the dark "I don't think you fucking know what I've been through!"

Hyde crossed his arms "And what have you been through Jackie?" Hyde asked hotly, but immediately regretted them.

All she came out with was an anger filled "Fuck. You" And she escaped into the night.

Hyde dropped his head and dragged out a frustrated sigh. Before turning around and walking home.

The next day, the whole gang was in the basement. Ready to sit down and relax when Jackie came through the door. Hyde immediately jumped up and walked over to her; he looked her in the eyes and spoke.

"Jackie, I'm really sor-" But what made stop was not her mocking laugh, or hand in his face. But the fact that her eyes suggested she didn't care. They no longer held anger or tears, they held……nothing. What had happened to her?

Jackie just stared at him and took a seat beside Kelso on the couch. Hyde slowly walked back to his normal chair and sat down. Flustered beyond belief. However, Jackie was starting to feel nervous, Kelso was looking at her. With those hungry eyes. Jackie had once liked those hungry eyes, but all she felt now was fear.

End Chapter 4

A/N: I really want to thank DanHyde girl for the great reviews. Next time: Someone gets even closer, what happens to Jackie? And she will not be cutting herself ; .