Fourteenth Century Man
By Todd Fan
Disclaimer: "You know, this movie can be used to induce vomiting"
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ACT 8 – A flashback
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We open the next day back in the jousting ring. where Logan is entering to a fanfare, Kelly prancing about in front of him like a toff as the crowd chants Logan's name.
"Oh, lovely", sneers Todd.
"It is, 'aint it?", smirked Logan, "me public"
"Count Logan", frowns Forge, "I don't think I've ever seen him lose"
"…Might have something to do with the healing factor and metal bones", says Todd helpfully.
"No", says Freddy, ignoring Todd:but defeat him and you'll see it firsthand"
"My liege!", says Kurt, walking over, Dani trailing behind him.
Forge, not used to being called 'liege' stares off into space until Kurt taps the armour of his chest.
"Sir Forgeich!", he says, "heloooo"
Forge blinks at him a bit dimly, then at Dani.
"Danielle", says Kurt, nodding at her.
"My lady bids you wear this token", says Dani, handing Forge a tie-dye bandana, "but she's a lazy cow, and won't come bring it herself"
"How much is the woman meant for me?", grins Forge, taking the bandana, "oh, of course"
"She also said to tell you her name", Dani gives a pause, smirking, "is Ororo"
"Ororo", whispers Forge, going into la-la land.
"Au revoir", says Kurt, in his German accent watching Dani go.
"Au revoir", smiles Dani.
Kurt blinks over to where Freddy is also in la-la land, watching Dani leave with an open mouth.
"Another random Todd Fan pairing", says Hank, "how does she do it?"
"Oh, Ororo", sighs Forge, still staring into space.
Kurt rolls his eyes, closing Freddy mouth for him. Freddy blinks out of la-la land, and gives Forge a glare.
"Concentrate!", he says.
"Hi Pot", says Todd, "this is Kettle, you're black!"
Forge give a goofy grin, walking after everyone else. Forge and Logan are facing each other, Forge on Jott, Logan on Lancitty. We move to a close up of Jott's eye.
"Oh yes, make an eye joke at me!", sobs Scott.
"Eye, eye", laughs Lance.
Rogue gives a bored sigh, waving her flag as the combatants charge. Storm watching from her box. They both hit equal, getting a little white flag each.
"Little white flags", says Hank, "collect them all!"
Forge comes over to Kurt, Todd and Freddy on Jott.
"I can't breathe!", he whines, "…and yet, I can talk"
Oh the other end, Kelly pulls a wood splinter from Logan's side.
"….Blood", whimpers Kelly.
"No style whatsoever", grumps Logan, "neither has an anvil"
"FORGE PUN!", screams Hank, giggling.
"…Shadup", mutters Forge, "he hits like a hammer, it's amazing"
"ANOTHER FORGE PUN!"
"If you don't stop that, I'll smack you", warns Forge.
"But not perfect", says Freddy, "he aims high on your chest. Roll your shoulder back when you strike. His blow may glance to your right"
"….Learn a lot about jousting in monster truck shows, huh, Freddy?", asks Kurt.
"Actually…yes", says Freddy, blinking.
"If he strikes on the right!", protests Forge, "If he strikes me on the left, I'll be obliterated"
Freddy considers this.
"I didn't say it wasn't a gamble"
"…Thank a lot", says Forge dryly.
As they go in for the second run, Forge does as he's told, giving Logan a good hit, his own not being as bad. Todd and Freddy cheer happily, as do the crowds, while Storm giggles to herself. In the peasant stands, Wanda watches with the smallest of smiles. Todd laughs, blowing as raspberry at Logan, who blinks, then looks up at his unbroken lance. He narrows his eyes as the crowd chants Forge's name instead. Oh yeah, he's pissed. When the third and final run happens, Logan smacks the helmet right off Forge's head, triggering a flashback episode.
FLASHBACKFLASHBACKFLASHBAKFLASHBACK
We find chibi Forge.
"Awwwwwwwwwww!", say the girls.
….Yeah. Anyway, chibi Forge (thanks to a chibi-machine) is trying to worm his way through a crowd to see a parade of knights.
"Forge!", shouts a mans voice, in an echoed way, "FORGE!"
Chibi Forge, muttering all the way, makes it through the crowd where Xavier is….errr sitting.
"You're an awfully pale Native American", Forge remarks.
"Look, I'm sorry, okay!", says Hank, "we haven't got that many elderly people, have Charles and be happy!"
"Yeah", says Xavier, then pauses, "wait…did you just call me 'elderly'?"
"On with the show!", shouts Hank.
""Forge, here", calls Xavier, "Come on, come here"
"I'm not a dog", mutters Forge as Xavier picks him up and plonks him on top of a set of stocks, where Jamie is stocked up.
"Lemiie out!", cries Jamie, "I won't do it again, I swear!"
Chibi Forge smiles, watching the knights parade.
"Someday, I'll be a knight", he says wistfully.
"A Thatcher's son?", laughs Jamie, "A knight?"
"…Wait, how can Xavier be a Thatcher if he can't climb on roofs?", asks Forge.
"He just can, okay!", snaps Hank.
"You might as well try to change the stars!", laughs Jamie.
Forge politely tread on Jamie's head.
"Can it be done………Father?", he grimaces, "Can a man change the stars?"
"Yes, Forge", says Xavier, "If he believes enough, a man can do anything"
"Oh God, you're not going to start on of your speeches, are you?", groans Jamie.
"What's wrong with my speeches?", asks Xavier, blinking.
ENDFLASHBACKENDFLACHBACKENDFLASHBACK
Forge, still slightly concussed, hangs onto Jott as Freddy and Todd rush to his aid. Logan plucks up Storm's tie-dye bandana from the ground with his lance, stopping to smirk and slightly-out-of-it-Forge.
"Gain more bearing, Forgeich", he smirks, "See me again when you're worthy"
"Yes, Tooth fairy", says Forge, blinking drowsily.
"Rage…growing…must…kill", says Todd, then screams, running after Logan, "I'll fong you in the hole of your arse!"
He screams, about to leap over the dividing line to do just that, when Kurt quickly shoves him to the ground, clapping dryly.
"Vell done, my lord", he says, "Vell done"
Todd says something that shouldn't be repeated and Kurt points at Forge.
"Go and see to Forgeich", he growls, then claps again, "Vell done, my lord. Noble victory"
Logan rides up to Storm, reaching out his lance with the tie-dye banner on.
"My lady, I believe this is yours", he says.
Storm takes it back, gives him a glare, and stalks off. We cut to the prizegiving ceremony.
"For long spear on foot", says Teryn, dressed in drag, "Callisto Malatesa"
"….That isn't my…", starts Callisto, in drag, but is pushed forward to claim her prize anyway.
"For sword on foot", says Teryn, "Forgeich von Lichtenstein"
Forge grumbles, claiming the prize he never actually wanted.
""And finally", says Teryn, "for the mounted joust and tournament champion: Logan, Count of Anjou"
Logan smirks claiming his rpize.
"I present to you, your champions", says Teryn.
The three wave to the crowds.
"Next time I face you, Count Logan", says Forge through a gritted smile, "you will look up at me from the flat of your back"
"Oooooh scary", snorts Logan, "Please. You have been weighed. You have been measured. And you have been found wanting"
Forge narrows his eyes, stalking off as his group follows him happily.
"Keep winning the sword and we'll be rich!", grins Freddy.
"I won't compete in the sword again", says Forge moodily.
""It's your best event", protests Kurt.
"No", says Forge, "It's tournament champion or nothing at all"
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Onwards, ho!