Chapter 5

He was close now, too close. Jackie's breathing got quicker, but she kept her eyes on the wall. Maybe if she kept her whole body still, Kelso would be stupid enough to think she wasn't there.

"Hey Jackie you're looking pretty hot tonight."

Jackie tensed at the lust in his voice. She has once heard a voice like that. Hyde saw her discomfort.

"Kelso man, she's wearing a baggy shirt and jeans."

The room erupted in "Burns" and laughter. But Jackie paid no mind to that because Kelso was now advancing. And suddenly, everything was different, Jackie no longer knew that it was Kelso approaching, just the fact that it was a body. She felt an arm around her shoulder, searing hot fire. So she did the one thing she remembered she could do. Jackie screamed.

Jackie fell to the floor and burst in tears, shaking her shoulder with heavy sobs, she kept repeating "Don't touch me, don't touch me. Oh God, please leave me alone." Memories burned her mind.

Everyone was shocked by Jackie's outburst that only Hyde responded. He moved to the ground and brought her to his arms. Jackie banged on his chest in a weak attempt at fighting. She kept crying and saying "no." Hyde grabbed her wrists and tried soothing her "Jackie shhh, come on it's me Steven, I won't hurt you, I won't hurt you."

Jackie stopped her banging and resided to strong and heavy sobs. Hyde decided to avoid the questions. He gathered her up in his arms and took her outside the basement and on to the driveway. He brought Jackie on to the cement steps. Hyde lightly put her down. She was shaking now and heavily breathing. She had calmed down.

Hyde was in front of her, although she still kept her head on his shoulder, slowly gaining her composure. Once she was in control, she lifted her head and looked into his eyes, she spoke first.

"I snapped in there, I don't know what happened, please don't ask, I'm….I'm not ready…….I can't……I don't know how….."

Jackie needed to say something, only she didn't know how. Hyde saw her struggle but kept quiet.

"I don't know how….to be….normal anymore, sometimes I feel everything and…..and sometimes I feel absolutely nothing. And I'm scared, because I don't know how to feel anymore. I don't know if I'm acting normal or if……or if I need help, or…." Jackie sighed. She had said enough. She looked down at her hands, afraid to look in to his eyes.

Hyde took Jackie's face in his hands and made her look at him. "I know that I never cared before, and that I don't really have a motive to care now. But I do, I care a lot. Because I have known hurt, fear, and confusion, and I know it can tear you up inside. Would you let me help you? Could you maybe in the future trust me enough and let me in?"

Jackie sat in a few seconds silence before nodding her head, giving him a slight smile, and resuming her head on his shoulder. Hyde in return wrapped his arms around her, and both couldn't help but think 'This feels right'. And it scared them both to pieces.

After about an hour and a half, Hyde has taken Jackie home and waited until she had fallen asleep, it didn't take long, she was mentally and physically exhausted.

Hyde stepped into the basement to see everyone was still there. It didn't surprise him, the group has come to like the little pixie in their own way.

Hyde sat down in his chair and waited, and not long, before he was bombarded with questions.

"Hyde! What the hell is going on with Jackie?" Donna screamed "We've been worried as hell for the past two hours!"

"Donna I don't exactly know what's going on with Jackie, all I know is the only one she will let it so far is me." Hyde explained.

"You? Why you? You guys hate each other." Eric asked in obvious confusion.

Hyde sighed deeply "I don't know man, we're both alike you know. Both have been hurt and confused I guess."

Donna looked apologetic "So what happened to Jackie, the way she reacted, it was scary."

"Something happened to her in New York, something really bad. It will take time for her to open up and trust anyone, let alone me. She's in a lot of pain y'know? She doesn't know what to feel, or if what she's feeling is right."

Donna sat down in shock "Oh my god, poor Jackie. And I-we, didn't even notice or do anything."

Eric piped in "Yeah, is there anything we can like, do to help? I mean, is she depressed or something?"

"No, she's not depressed, she's just there, not really living as much as she should be. She just feels helpless. But you can tell, that y'know, she blames herself, for whatever she's going through. I think right now, all she needs is trust and comfort with no questions asked. She's not ready for questions. It's too soon."

Everyone say in an uncomfortable silence.

"Well then, I never would of thought you and Jackie would be friends, that's super weird." Eric stated. Hyde leaned back in his chair "Well we're not exactly friends, but I never would of thought it wither, besides this Jackie is completely different from the one were knew before."

Everyone nodded in agreement.

Hyde, not wanting to be lulled back into an uncomfortable silence, stood up and left for bed. What a day it had been.

Jackie

The next morning Jackie awoke, she sat up confused, but quickly landed on her pillows with a sigh as she remembered. 'Steven promised me trust, but what do I do when he finds out. He will probably think I'm dirty or disgusting.' Flustered already, Jackie slipped out of her bed and walked into the kitchen. Her feet making a soft padding noise as the heat made her feet sticky. Jackie took out a glass and gilled it with water. She slowly walked over to the bathroom. What she saw sickened her.

It was Jackie, but it wasn't, her usually bright eyes were dull with nothing. And empty sight. Dark bags surrounded them. And her face was pasty and pale. She stepped on the scale. 98 pounds. 'Shit' Jackie thought, lately she had been forgetting to eat, apparently she hadn't noticed. Once again Jackie walked to the kitchen, pulled out a granola bar and made her way back to her room. She reached her room and disposed of the granola bar wrapper and crossed her bedroom and into the bathroom. Jackie pulled off her PJ's and stepped into the shower. Jackie washed herself and hair and came out of the shower, she sighed, she never came out feeling clean. After she towel-dried her hair she went to her closet. 'Something baggy' The lasting Jackie needed was people on her back about her health and weight. Right now, being invisible was deliciously appealing.

It was a beautiful day today, perfect 75 degree Sunny with a few clouds weather. Jackie took to sunning in the backyard. She didn't quite feel like visiting the basement just yet. She needed time to think. Jackie switched onto her stomach. She always needed time, it was never on her side, her constant struggle against the clock. It was enough to drive her insane. Luckily she had friends, true friends, she has Steven……Steven. The thought of him made a small smile appear on her face.

'Steven, being with him feels so right. But we barely know each other, and my secret, my torment. He doesn't need a girlfriend with baggage. Hell, he doesn't need a girlfriend period. I don't need anyone right now, letting someone in would be stupid, what if I get hurt? I couldn't handle that. GOD! I don't know what to do anymore!'

Jackie got up from her porch and walked, she walked past the lavishly decorated dining rooms that held false happiness and were hardly ever used, she walked past the living rooms, parlor's, spare bedrooms, and bars, until she came to the main hall. There it was, on the wall. 6 pairs of eyes, 3 smiles, a million meanings, a million lies. Jackie quickly walked up to the frame and picked it up. She glared at her father "I hate you!" Jackie yelled.

She looked at her mother "I despise you! Where was the love mom? The helpful advice, the loving stares? Where did they all go! Were they ever there?" Lastly she looked at herself, and calmed down, the tears, hot, angry, passionate, fiery, hurting, feeling tears, cascaded down onto the frame. "AAHHH!" Jackie screamed, hurling the frame at the wall, watching her family being torn into pieces, her truth arriving. Nothing was there, she had to build on herself. And it was that point and time Jackie Burkhardt started healing.

End Chapter 5

A/N: Jackie and Hyde get closer, but hesitation ensues.

I also know that my reviewers are wanting to know Jackie's secret. It will be revealed in chapter 7, I think.