Fourteenth Century Man
By Todd Fan
Disclaimer: "Now, would you like me to call you a cab or should I just whistle and have the flying monkeys bring the broom around?"
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ACT 12 – Winning and losing
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We open outside of Notre Dame cathedral, where Forge is standing outside.
Sing the bells, bells, bells
"Wrong movie!", snaps Hank.
We see Storm waiting inside.
"Do you think he will come?", she asks Dani
"As sure as the sun will rise", says Dani, "he's stupid like that"
Sure enough, Forge enters.
"You favour cathedrals", he says.
"I come for confession", says Storm, "even if this isn't my religion.. and the glass. A riot of colour in a dreary, grey world, don't you think?"
"It's beautiful", says Forge, looking at Storm, rather than the window.
"I feel the same way about the letter you sent", smiles Storm, "Speak to me. Speak those words"
Uh oh. Forge is in trouble.
"I'm going to win this tournament for you", he finally says.
"Excuse me?", blinks Storm.
"This tournament. I'll win it in your name", nods Forge, "Every knight I defeat, I defeat for you. Your beauty will be reflected in the power of my arms, the flanks of my horse"
"..Not one for poetry, are you, Forge?", chuckles Hank.
"Wow", says Storm, her voice dripping in sarcasm, "Really? Really? It's flanks?"
She shakes her head, beginning to walk away. Forge blinks, following after her.
"I wish to hear poetry, Forgeich", says Storm.
"Oh", Forge winces, "Well….I'm not ready"
"But I am", says Storm, "and why must everything for a woman be run on a man's schedule?"
"Well", stammers Forge, "A…a man's day is fuller..And, well, y…you see, a man….he has more demands on his time"
"You're digging yourself your own grave, Forge", points out Hank, "sans shovel"
"Is that so?", growls Storm, thunder starting up outside.
"Yes", says Forge, then blinks, "…….maybe…..No?"
"You're the worlds slowest genius", quips Hank (1)
"I demand poetry", says Storm, raising her voice, "and when I want it…and I want it now"
"..Got a bit of a Goddess complex again, 'Ro?", blinks Forge, then tries his best, "Your breasts…"
"Oh Gods, not that again", groans Hank.
"They're below your throat", continues Forge, "where…"
He sighs as Storm walks away, following after her.
"Ororo, how may I prove my love to you?", he asks, "How?"
Storm stops, turning to glare at him.
"Do you ask in earnest?", she asks.
"Yes", says Forge
Storm frowns.
"If you would prove your love, you should do your worst"
Forge blinks.
"My worst?", he asks, "what do you mean?"
"Instead of winning to honour me with your high reputation", says Storm, "I want you to act against your normal character and do badly"
"So badly?", asks Forge.
"Lose", nods Storm.
"Losing proves nothing!", yelps Forge, "except that I'm a loser!"
"Wrong!", snaps Storm, rounding on him, making him back away from her wrath, "Losing is a much keener test of your love. Losing would contradict your self-love, and losing would show your obedience to your lover and not yourself!"
"Obedience?", asks Hank, "I really don't want to know what your guys sex life must be like. Seesh"
Nick walks over, trying to stop the shouting in the cathedral.
"Shh", he says, "Shh, woman, shh"
"DO NOT 'SHH' ME!", shouts Storm, "and spare him! Now begone! Go!"
Nick whimpers.
"You're on your own", he says to Forge, making a break for it.
"What is your answer?", asks Storm, glaring back at Forge.
"I will not lose!", says Forge stubbornly.
"Then you do not love me", says Storm equally stubbornly.
Forge narrows his eyes, muttering under his breath as her stamps out, Storm stamping off in the other direction.
"….Well, at least there wasn't any bloodshed this time", muses Hank.
We go to the next day, where Kurt is calling Forge onto the jousting match.
"The protector of Italian virginity, the lance, that thrilled France", he says, "the harasser of Parasser! He gave them hell at La Rochelle! The enforcer of our Lord God! The one, the only, Sir Fffffforrrrgeiiich von Lichtensteeeein!"
The crowd burst into cheers.
"God, I'm good!", grins Kurt.
As Forge is getting prepared, he glances to where Storm is watching miserably from her box with Dani.
"His horse's flanks", groans Storm
"Maybe where he comes from it means love", says Dani, then sighs, "but considering I come from there too, I can tell you, it's not"
Rogue waves her flag and Duncan charges. Forge goes a little way, then stops dead.
"What are you doing!", squeaks Freddy.
"Losing", sighs Forge
"I don't understand!", says Freddy.
"Well, neither do I", admits Forge.
Storm stands, going to the edge of her box to watch as Duncan ploughs into the motionless Forge, making a hit. The crowd, realising something is up, begin to boo.
"Oh, he loves me", smiles Storm, despite the fact Forge is getting the snot beaten out of him
"Uh, are you blind?", asks Kurt, walking over, "Didn't you see the flag?"
"Kurt, I saw it, okay?", says Forge
"I know, I know", says Todd, suddenly grinning, "You want to drop behind for a more dramatic victory. Yeah"
"Look", sighs Forge, "Ororo told me I should lose to prove my love"
Everyone blinks.
"Oh, God", groans Kurt, walking away, "I'd rather you vere blind"
"Don't' be foolish, Forge", says Freddy, "Each woman wants proof, that's all"
"Proof of what?", asks Forge as Todd snarls, pointing at Wanda is if it's her fault.
"Don't point at me, frog boy", snaps Wanda.
"That their legs have not been uncrossed for nothing", whispers Freddy.
"Freddy", says Forge, "I haven't uncrossed her legs"
"Nice metaphor for doing the dirty", smiles Hank.
"Then why in the name of Saint Swithin are we doing this?", yells Todd, trying to control the rage.
"Because", says Forge lamely
Everyone jumps out of the way as Duncan charges again, hitting Forge dead on once more.
"Because, I love her", says Forge as they go back to him.
Bobby appears once again with a mic, beginning to sing.
"Oh God, no", sighs Hank.
Never met a girl who could make me feel the way that you do
As Bobby sings, we see Forge getting pummelled by lances multiples times.
Whenever I'm, asked what makes my dreams real
I tell them it's you
You're outta sight
So fiddley dee fiddley dum
Look out, baby, 'cause here I come
I'm bringing you a love that's true
Get ready, get ready
To start makin' love to you
Get ready
We see Todd being held back by Wanda and Freddy as he tries to kill Kurt.
"I'm gonna lose everything!", he snaps.
"That's vhy it's called gambling", says Kurt.
Todd screams leaping from Freddy and Wanda, starting to beat up Kurt.
"It's very romantic, though", smiles Wanda
"Are you a woman or a blacksmith?", asks Freddy, blinking.
"Sometimes I'm both", smirks Wanda.
"Ohh, that chafes!", yelps Kurt.
"Put him down", sighs Freddy.
We move to half-time, where Forge's real arm is in a vice-thing, which Todd is twisting with some relish, trying to pop Forge's shoulder back into place.
"No one knight has distanced himself with victories yet", says Kurt, "If you vin all your remaining matches, and some of your opponents take key losses…vho knows? You could make the semis. Even the finals"
"At least the armour's proven itself", grumbles Wanda
"And your love?", asks Todd, "Have you proven that yet?"
He gives the winch a rather cruel twist, making Forge yelp.
"Ouch!", says Forge, "Todd, you remember church as a boy. The fear, the passion. That's what she makes me feel. And for that, I say my rosary to Ororo and no one else"
"Forge, that's blasphemous", says Todd, twisting the vice as Forge's shoulder pops back into place with a crunch.
"Oww", whimpers Forge, "Then may I burn in hell, a hell I don't believe in"
"Withdraw", says Freddy, "Lose that way. Just don't take any more punishment"
Suddenly, Dani appears, Freddy getting his stupid goofy grin again.
"My lady sends this message", says Dani, "She says that if you love her…."
"Look, I know, I know", snaps Forge, "I must lose. Is she not watching, huh?"
"She says that if you love her", smirks Dani, "you will not lose another match. She says, that if you love her, you will win this tournament"
Forge twitches.
"Women!"
We go to the next match, where Forge is getting ready, Storm waiting and watching from her box.
"There she is", says Kurt, "the embodiment of love, your Venus"
"And how I hate her", grumbles Forge, grabbing his lance and riding off.
"Yeah!", cheers Todd as Forge wins another match, "I don't understand women"
"Nor do I", says Kurt, "But they understand us…maybe not you"
Todd narrows his eyes as Freddy cheers form the sidelines next to Wanda.
"Women, eh?", he says as Wanda gives him a glare
Forge makes another hit, Teryn's helmet flying into the crowd, who catch it as if it were a football. Forge is back on game!
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(1) – Mystique recently called Forge this in the Ultimate X-Men books. Tee hee.
Wee, such fun! Do review, Until next time…