Chapter 10

Jackie Burkhardt walked around her house with a bounce, cleaning up the uncomfortable mansion with the cleaning products she could find. It was a habit she had picked up when she was a kid, whenever she got anxious, nervous, or bored, she would clean. It's why she told the cleaning lady to never clean her room. It was all so odd how things changed. If someone told Jackie a year ago that Jackie Burkhardt would have Steven Hyde as a boyfriend and cleaning up her mansion. She would have told them to stop inhaling so much hair spray. But Jackie liked who she was now.

She, was not well. But, she was not a basket case. She felt secure. And that was all she could ask for.

Jackie was not welcoming her mother's arrival with open arms, but she knew what was in the future. She knew she would probably get in to a lot of trouble with her mother. Cry, and feel sorry for herself……once more. The ritual was getting quite boring, and stressful.

But, crying wasn't enough anymore. And Jackie, had had her share of shedding tears, and she didn't feel like crying anymore. Jackie Burkhardt felt good, she actually felt good. Not by the help of Steven, and not by the help of her friends. She, herself, made herself feel better. If that wasn't progress, what was life?

Bullshit.

Jackie headed upstairs and in to her room, she dressed…..well, she dressed like her old self to please her mother. She knew that if she answered the door wearing jeans and a t-shirt, she would probably be disowned right there on the spot. Jackie slipped into a skirt and matching top. Nothing too glam, but enough for her mother not to get suspicious. Before Jackie could put on perfume the doorbell rang. It echoed through the halls, sending some what of an eerie vibration.

Jackie walked down the halls, descended the steps, and answered the door. Jackie put on a small smile and greeted.

"Hello Mother"

Pam Burkhardt smiled brilliantly and held her arms out in invitation "Jackie Darling, Mummy's home!"

Jackie laughed uneasily and trudged somewhat shakily into her mother's arms. Pam's arms enclosed around her and Jackie felt. Well, she didn't really feel anything. It was a hug, but a hug with a hole in it. A hug, with an abandoned reason. Jackie really didn't expect anything. She had given up on her mother a while ago. Pam released her daughter and walked past her into the house.

"Jackie darling, do keep up"

Jackie jumped out of her daze and mumbled "Right. Coming"

Jackie followed her mother into the family room. Pam was examining the room.

"The place looks nice, did you hire some maids with the money I sent you?"

Jackie hesitated, no, she hadn't. For once, Jackie did something smart, she put the money in a bank. Under her own name, safe from everyone else.

"No, I cle-" Jackie stopped there, her mother probably wouldn't like to hear that. "I spent it on some new fall fashions for the school year Mother" Her voice slightly raised, nervous and falsely cheerful.

Pam glowed "Oh good Jackie. That's just darling. Hopefully good fashions, but you are my daughter. So of course your taste is anything but perfect."

Jackie nodded her head, a little uncomfortable. Normally she would have dragged on and on about her fall fashions. Telling her what happened, and how she was going to be the most fashionable girl in school, get married to a rich doctor, and ride off in the sunset in a cherry coloured convertible. But that didn't feel right anymore, so she just stared at her mother.

Pam cleared her throat and furrowed her eyebrow. What was this? Her daughter was not being herself? It must be an imposter. "Darling, are you alright?"

Jackie smiled brightly and said "You bet, Mother darling!" Her sarcasm shining through every letter. Pam, being somewhat of a dimwit, didn't catch on.

"Fabulous…..Oh darling! How was New York with Grandmother? Hmm?"

Jackie sighed, this was the time. The time to tell her mother.

"Mom, about that. We need to talk."

Pam smiled and spoke smoothly, like a drink being poured "Of course dear"

"When I was in New York, I had this plan to be this girl….." But Jackie didn't see the point in explaining, her mother wouldn't take the news well, no matter what explanation she had. "Mother I was raped in New York."

"What?" Pam looked taken aback. "Jackie, What?"

"How could that happen?"

"I was a little drunk and –" She was cut off.

"A little drunk? Jackie, where is your power? Jackie, you are a Burkhardt. You must have been smashed. How could you have let that happen! You have responsibilities."

Jackie looked upset, she expected it, but that didn't make it any easier "Mother, you don't understand. I'm not a strong person. Since I was a kid, someone told me that my only job was to look beautiful and forget about the rest. You know who told me that Mother? You! You told me."

Pam huffed and placed her hands on her hips "Jackie, I was not in New York with you. This is not my fault. I don't know what to say or what to think. I'm upset with you, how you could of let this just happen!"

"Aren't you even worried about me? Worried that I might have been hurt, which I was." Jackie asked, in a low whisper.

Pam's face softened and she approached Jackie. She placed her hands on Jackie's shoulders and looked her in the eye "Jackie, I am. But this, this is not acceptable. This, is upsetting. You must have been flirting or teasing Jackie, were you?"

Jackie looked down "Yes."

Pam crossed her arms over her chest "Jackie, this is your own fault. You could have prevented this, and I just don't know what to do with you."

Jackie stepped back "What to do with me? Mother, what's there to be done? Are you actually thinking of sending me away? There is a reason they call it rape Mother! Unwilling, let's not forget that I didn't willingly go into this! I did not just go slutting around! Unlike you!"

Pam took a threatening step forward and raised her voice "DO not raise your voice at me. I am your Mother!"

Jackie gritted her teeth "No, you are not my mother. You are some whore, who married my father for his money. I am simply just an accident. You are fucking low!"

SLAP.

The sound bounced off the marble walls, echoing throughout the whole house.

Jackie's gaze never faltered, remaining on her mother. Pam looked flustered, mad at herself for hitting her, mad at the situation. She struggling an internal battle, one wanted to take her child in her arms, and the other was so shamed of her.

Jackie looked at her mother. "There has never been a person in my life I have hated and despised as much as I hate and despise you. Good bye Pam."

And at that Jackie proceeded upstairs, packed a bag. And left the Burkhardt residence. Leaving her old self behind, once and for all. She was truly done. And she had left her tears behind.

Jackie walked the streets until she came to the Pinciotti house. She walked the path shamefully and knocked on the door. Donna answered.

"Jackie? What happened?" Donna opened the door wider to let her in.

Jackie stepped through the door and placed her suitcase down "My mother came back, and I told her, and she doesn't love me anymore." Jackie looked at Donna.

"Oh my god, Jackie I'm so sorry."

She smiled "It's okay, but I need a place to stay. If you don't want me to stay here it's fine, but-"

Donna shook her head "No of course not Jackie, yeah you can stay with me. No question."

Jackie put down her bags and hugged Donna tightly, she had never been so happy to find out her true friends. It felt even better to finally see clear, like her whole life before was hazy and foggy, but now it was like her vision was restored as the fog cleared. It was truly an uplifting moment.

After talking to Bob and Midge they agreed to let Jackie stay with Donna in her room. Donna led Jackie up the stairs and in to her room. She set up a cot for her and took out some sheets, a comforter, and two pillows. It was comfy, she couldn't complain. Donna had also cleared out the bottom two drawers for Jackie's stuff. It didn't take long to unpack everything, now Jackie was on her cot, reading a magazine and Donna was painting her toenails on her bed.

Jackie put down her magazine.

"Donna" Donna looked over to Jackie "I really don't know how to say how much I appreciate this. I mean, everything I've said about not wanting to be seen with you because you weren't as popular and because you're a red head you knew I was joking right?" Her throat constricted and it was getting hard to breathe, she breathed in heavily, her vision blurring "I used to be such a horrible person, and I can't believe, I don't know how you put up with it. How could you have someone like me as a friend and not, not want to find someone better?" She swallowed her tears and looked to Donna, she had a sad look on her face.

"In the beginning when Kelso first introduced you to us, I thought bad things about you hanging around. But, you were my first girlfriend, I could talk to you about boys and my opinions when I couldn't with the guys. You always held a special place in my mind, because you didn't laugh at me wanting to be a girl, you understood. And when you annoyed me, I thought back to that. But as we became better friends, I noticed there was a Jackie similar to the one that you are now, she was just struggling to get out. You're my best friend Jackie. You don't have to be perfect."

Jackie grinned widely and sighed contentedly. 'I don't have to be perfect.' She thought, it was a breath of fresh air. She didn't have to be perfect, no one was expecting her to be perfect. For once, no one expected her to be perfect. Jackie stood up and hugged Donna briefly.

"Thanks Donna, I really needed to hear that."

She didn't have to cry anymore.

The next day, Jackie and Donna went over to the basement. Jackie walked over to Hyde, sitting on his chair of course, and plopped down on his lap and gave him a kiss. She smiled widely and had a happy air to her.

Hyde smiled a little at her drastic improvement of mood, happy to see she was finally okay.

He poked her "You're happy today."

She smiled at him and gave him another kiss "Yes, I am." She stated it proudly, like she had earned it. In more ways than one, she had. Overcoming her barriers and walls that were set up as obstacles, she had overcome it all. All in a matter of 2 months. But when Jackie got down to the nitty gritty part of it all. She realized, she had done it all. All. Thanks. To. Steven. She smiled and put her head on his shoulder.

Donna took a spot on the couch and spoke up "Jackie's living with me now."

Eric, Kelso, Fez, and Hyde, all said "What!"

Jackie sighed and spoke "My mom came back the other day, I told her what happened. She, well, she said it was my fault, and that she had to do something with me. She wanted to send me away. She was purely disgusted with me, so I decided that I couldn't live with that hanging over my shoulders and asked if I could stay with Donna. Which she gracefully accepted me in to her home."

Eric turned to Jackie "Well good for you, Jacks. It's good to see you finally cheering up and taking authority."

Jackie smiled proudly, like a little kid being praised by their parents.

Recently the basement gang had taken to calling her the nickname Hyde had bestowed upon her, it made her day when they said it. It was like a final initiation. She was a part of them. A part of the group.

Fez looked to the TV and shook his head "What a whore"

Jackie laughed and nodded in agreement. "Yeah, and I told her so."

Donna leaned in her seat and laughed "You didn't?"

Jackie nodded "Yeah, I gave her this whole little speech about how she wasn't a mother, just some whore who married my dad for his money. She got as red as a balloon."

After that, everyone watched the tube in silence for a little bit.

Hyde whispered in to Jackie's ear "So, this is pretty cool, you living next door."

Jackie turned her head and spoke in to his left ear "Yeah, I thought so. Farther away from my mother and closer to you, I thought it was a pretty good deal." Jackie turned her attention back to the TV and Hyde squeezed her waist in comfort and agreement.

That night, At around 11, Kelso, Fez, and Donna left to go home and sleep. Eric bid Hyde and Jackie farewell. Jackie was hardly tired though. It wasn't like she had a ball of energy, it was just this heavy weight of something, collapsing on her chest. And she couldn't get rid of it, and if she couldn't get rid of it, she couldn't sleep.

"Are you tired?" Hyde asked.

Jackie responded from the couch "No."

Hyde grunted in response and stood up "I'm gonna take a shower, should only take like 20 minutes, will you be down her when I get back?"

"Yeah" She said it softly, only a notch above a whisper.

Hyde left and Jackie sat on the couch. She never liked it much alone in the basement, it was too stuffy. Jackie gathered herself and took a comforter out of the closet (A/N: Let's pretend there's a linen closet in the basement for the sake of the authour's story : )) And walked outside, it was cool. Around 50 degrees she supposed, Jackie walked to the back yard and sat on the steps. She wrapped the blanket around her. It wasn't that it was cold out, whenever she was alone, she always needed something around her. In most cases that 'something' was Hyde but he was busy so a blanket seemed worthy enough.

It wasn't the same feeling.

Jackie stared at the darkened sky, mesmerized by the show the sky had put on for her. Billions of twinkling lights, beaming down on her, lighting up and making shapes and designs, it was enough to take your breath away.

Hyde had dressed when he noticed she wasn't in the basement. He stepped outside and looked around, when he saw someone in the backyard. He looked over and saw her sitting by herself, her tiny figure wrapped in the impossibly large comforter. Staring, just staring at the sky. If you had studied her, you wouldn't had the faintest clue to even guess as to what she was thinking, because she looked so lost. So small and fragile compared to the sky.

Hyde walked over and sat behind her and took her in his arms. Frightening her a bit, unaware of his presence once more. But she quickly relaxed and snuggled deeper in to his embrace. When she kept squirming he took a guess as to what was wrong. And he guessed right, he took the blanket and wrapped it around himself, covering both of them. She was like him in that sense, they both liked to be touching, it didn't feel natural unless they were touching. All barriers had to be removed.

Jackie leaned her head back on his shoulder and stared deeper into the night sky. Hyde's hands came around her stomach, slighting massaging her sides.

"Tell me what you're thinking" He whispered into her ear, as if talking would shatter the moment.

She closed her eyes and turned her head and gave Hyde's cheek a tender kiss.

"I'm thinking…" She sighed "I'm thinking, that I don't know where to pick off from. Where to start my life, if one way is the right path, and the other if wrong. And if I pick the wrong path, do I get even more screwed up." Hyde rested his chin on her shoulder. He spoke into her ear "You do what feels right" He told her, she slightly smiled "Yes, but doing what feels right isn't always the right path, in most cases it leads you astray, and betrayed." Hyde sighed, and spoke once more "Then follow your intuition." Jackie nodded her head.

Jackie turned her head into his neck. "It feels like I'm starting new, almost like I'm being born again you know? When you're born everything is unknown territory and you have to learn to adjust and accept things the way they are. It's a little overwhelming." She laughed a little and inhaled his scent, his cologne. Always intoxicating. "Things are definitely going to change, can you imagine school?" She chuckled a little, he laughed a little as well. "I'm going to be cast aside and made fun like there's no tomorrow." Hyde kissed her temple "It's alright, I'll be there, and I'll punch any guy who makes fun of you." Jackie laughed into his chest. Things would be alright.

Jackie looked him in the eye and kissed him. A gentle kiss at first, her letting him know she cared. His arms enveloping her, her hands holding his face, a little rougher a little more passionate, him letting her know he was there. Hands entwined in hair, moans, little grunts. It was pure desire, passion, lust, and love. She couldn't deny it anymore, there was love, so much love. But it didn't scare them as much as it used to.

Jackie pulled away, breathing a little heavily. "You" she said, kissing him lightly "Are dead tired, I can tell. Go to bed, I'll see you tomorrow." He smiled and got up, she could read him easier. At the door they kissed goodbye and parted ways. They left with feelings intensified and love a certain possibility.

A/N: Woot, chapter 10, and yeah. I lied, the next chapter will deal with school and love and such. Then chapter 12 will deal with sex. I think, who knows. That's my plan. Chapter 11, expect 1-2 ½ weeks. Thanks!

R and R

Alexa