Chapter 2

Revelations

Kurogane returned to his room, intending to read the Magawan magazine that he had bought in the Hanshin Republic. He flicked it open to a random article and began to read. Or rather, he began attempting to read; his concentration was wandering and he couldn't seem to focus it, no matter how hard he tried. Instead, he found his thoughts focusing of Fai. He growled to himself in annoyance; why was it that he could never seem to completely rid himself of that damn mage even when he wasn't there physically? The fact bothered Kurogane very much as he was becoming increasingly aware of just how much time he spent thinking about Fai. What was so special about that dumb ass that enraptured him so?

Curiously, he let his mind mull this question over, just to see what kind of answers he would come up with. The first image to surface in his imagination was of Fai's serene smile. Kurogane felt like punching himself. He spent so much time thinking of Fai because of his smile? What a silly answer. It sounded like something a love-struck young girl would say.

As the words "love-struck" floated across his consciousness, he gave a small start. Kurogane hardly knew the meaning of the words but once they had entered his head, they refused to leave. Could he be in love? The mere thought of such a thing made the ninja feel dizzy. He hadn't had a crush since he was fourteen years old, and he was pretty sure that that hadn't been real love. Back then, he'd just been a horny little kid who thought he wanted some action. What was love, anyway? He groped in the dark recesses of his memory for some answer to this question. Eventually, he resurfaced with a snippet of a conversation he had had with Princess Tomoyo long before she had sent him away.

"Have you ever been in love, Kurogane?"

"What the hell…? What kind of question is that?"

"Just a simple one. You haven't, have you? I suppose I shouldn't be so surprised. After all, it is hardly in the nature of someone with your profession to love…do you even know what it is?"

"Of course I do. I'm not stupid."

"But do you really know? You can't possibly understand it if you've never experienced it yourself."

Kurogane had stared at her blankly.

"Love is when… you want to be with someone so badly that it hurts. It makes a bad pain in your chest like your heart is being crushed… and even if you can't be with the one you love, you want them to be happy. When they are content, you feel it too, regardless of what is going on in your own life. If they are sad, it makes you sad. You feel their pain as well as an unimaginably deep desire to be able to take it all away, just so you can see them smile one more time. And when you're apart, you think of them the whole time and find yourself willing to give anything just to have them at your side…does that make sense to you, Kurogane?"

Kurogane continued to stare blankly at her. The princess sighed. "Someday you will understand. You'll find love someday, Kurogane."

As Princess Tomoyo's words replayed in his head, he found that everything suddenly made sense. He finally knew what she was talking about. It was a like an epiphany, a sudden glare of understanding. The strange feeling he harbored for Fai…was love.

Now that Kurogane had made this revelation about himself, everything that he needed to do fell into place. He got up from his chair and set down his magazine. The first thing he had to do was make amends with Fai.

It was late afternoon when everyone finally returned from their outing. All of them were carrying bags; apparently they had come across a market place during their exploration. Kurogane was sitting at the bar waiting for them (though he occupied himself with a glass of sake so that they wouldn't suspect that that was what he was doing). He noticed that Fai was avoiding his gaze.

The ninja approached the group and all of them watched uncertainly, anxious that he might lash out at Fai again. Kurogane, however, had other plans; he reached over to Sakura's shoulder where Mokona was perched and plucked the white creature from his post by his head. Without a word, Kurogane turned around abruptly and went to his room, shutting and locking the door behind him. Syaoran and Sakura looked at each other nervously; what would Kurogane possibly want with Mokona? The ninja had never liked the little round puffball so they were pretty sure that his intentions were far from innocent.

Neither Syaoran nor Sakura was brave enough to ask Kurogane and Fai was looking a bit distraught so they were pretty sure that he wasn't thinking about the same thing that they were. The three of them sat down at a table and looked through their purchases, meanwhile keeping their ears open for cries from help from Mokona.