Chapter 4

A Precious Gift

Fai retired to his room early that night. Syaoran and Sakura had looked concerned but the wizard had assured them that nothing was wrong and that he was just tired after having awoken so early to make breakfast.

The wizard sighed and leaned against his closed bedroom door, feeling the familiar crushing sensation of his heart being broken. He supposed that it had been naïve of him to hope for such a thing but… he had fantasized about spending the day with his favorite arrogant, short-tempered ninja. Fai had played the scene in his imagination over and over, changing it a little bit each time as new and better ideas occurred to him. By the time his birthday had arrived, the anticipation had reached such a pitch that it was almost suffocating. Naturally, when Kurogane had so harshly refused to come along, Fai had felt his world being sharply jerked out from under him. Now it was over and he had hardly gotten to spend any time with the warrior at all.

Fai stood there in the dark for a long time, wallowing in his disappointment. Kurogane had hardly even said two words to him. Another part of the mage seemed to awake at the sensing of his weakness. It was a cold, harsh presence that he hadn't felt in so long that he had completely forgotten that it existed. The last time he had heard from it was when he was leaving his world behind…Despite its long absence, its voice was as loud and clear as it had ever been.

Are you disappointed, Fai? it whispered mockingly.

Fai tried to ignore the voice, to shut it back in the closet, but it only laughed at him.

You idiot. You're just as stupid as you've ever been. You haven't learned a thing on this journey, have you?

You're wrong, Fai retorted. I have learned something. I've learned that I am able to love again…even after…

But what good does that do, really? It turned out just like last time; he obviously doesn't feel the same way about you. Anyone with even a particle of a brain could have seen that. You mean nothing to him. Nothing at all. As far as he's concerned, you're dirt. He'd be happier if you were dead and even happier still if he killed you with his own hands. Do you know why that is?

SHUT UP! Fai screamed mentally, covering his ears as if to block the voice out.

It's because you're worthless, Fai D. Flowrite. Completely worthless.

I'm—I'm not…

Yes, you are Fai. You are worthless. You don't even deserve to exist. What makes you think you have the right to burden others with your presence?

Please stop… Fai begged. Please…

'Please stop' he says. You make me sick. What, are you going to cry now?

A teardrop fell and splashed on the hardwood floor.

Ha, I knew it. Go cry, baby Fai.

"Fai?"

Fai started and looked around the dark room, straining his eyes to make out the owner of the voice.

"Is that you, Fai?"

"M-Mokona?" the wizard gasped, quickly wiping away his tears. "I d-didn't know you were in here…"

"Is Fai ok?" the white creature asked worriedly.

"Yeah," Fai said. "Yeah, I…Everything is fine."

As these words left his mouth, he felt like smacking his head against the wall. Why did he keep telling people that everything was fine when it was the farthest from fine that it could possibly be?

"There's a box here on your bed. It must be for you," Mokona told him, trying to keep the excitement out of his voice.

"Huh?...A box?"

Fai approached the bed curiously and turned on the lamp that sat on the table beside it. It took his eyes a moment to adjust to the sudden burst of light but as soon as the big black spots in his vision disappeared, he found himself looking at a green cardboard box with a strip of glossy red ribbon tied around it. Fai picked up the box carefully, examining it. It looked like the kind of box that you get at a bakery.

Fingers trembling slightly, he removed the ribbon and slowly lifted the lid. As he looked at the box's contents, his breath caught in his chest. Inside were half a dozen kolachies: the pastries that Fai had mentioned at breakfast. The wizard was frozen with shock; he had been keeping an eye out for these things in every world they visited to no avail. Yet here they were, a box of them sitting on his bed and they were still warm.

"What are they, Fai?" Mokona asked, peering into the box.

"Th-they're kolachies," Fai stammered, still wondering where they had come from. "They're my favorite… but…"

The wizard looked down at Mokona who had a big smile on his face.

"Where did they come from…?"

There was a loud sneeze from the room next door; the ninja's room. A thought occurred to Fai, one that caused his eyes to widen in amazement. He looked back down at Mokona and pointed questioningly in the direction of Kurogane's room. Mokona's smile only widened in response.

"R-really?" he asked, hardly daring to believe it.

Mokona nodded.

"But…where did he get them?"

"He made me call Yuuko and he asked her for some. He traded his magazine for it."

Fai was silent once more, a warm mixture of surprise, relief and gratefulness filling him. His birthday wasn't over yet; maybe there was still time to make his wish come true.

Kurogane sat nervously in the corner of his room, wondering if Fai had discovered the box yet. Unable to keep still, he had taken out his sword and began polishing it just to give himself something to do. He had been rubbing at the same spot for the past ten minutes, not really paying attention to his task. He was more concerned with trying to hear what was going on in the room next door.

When the soft knock came at his door, it startled the ninja so badly that he nearly dropped his sword. The door began to open and Kurogane quickly looked down at his sword and began polishing it furiously, pretending that he didn't notice the presence of his visitor. For about five minutes, nothing happened; whoever was at the door did not enter the room and Kurogane didn't look up to see who it was. Finally, he couldn't contain himself any longer and lifted his eyes to meet those of his guest. As he had suspected, it was the blond wizard standing in the doorway. He was staring at Kurogane with an odd expression that the ninja couldn't classify on his face.

The awkwardness was so thick you could have cut it with a knife. After what seemed like an eternity, Kurogane tore his eyes from Fai, got to his feet, put his gleaming blade back in its sheathe and made to put the rag away in his dresser drawer. Once the ninja was only a few feet away from his visitor, Fai threw himself at him, embracing him tightly, burying his face in the ninja's shirt.

"Thank you, Kurotan," he whispered.

"Umm…what the hell are you talking about?" Kurogane said lamely.

"I'm so happy. Thank you."

"Huh? Just because of that sweet crap? ...It doesn't matter that much…"

"It does to me," Fai breathed. "It means the world to me. You have no idea…"

Maybe, the wizard thought as Kurogane nervously returned the embrace, maybe it wasn't such a bad birthday after all.