"Hi," he said. "I need to talk to you."
"Uh..." she glanced at the greenhouse door. "Is this going to take very long?"
"No." Sirius shook his head. "No, it won't. I just need to borrow your grandmother's book."
Rosalie Cranmer gave him a suspicious look. "What? Did yousteal it the first time?" she asked in dismay.
"What would give you that idea?" Sirius wanted to know.
"Well, you were reciting poetry to the red-haired Slytherin girl at breakfast this morning," said Rosalie Cranmer. "She didn't like it, so now you want to try again with a different poem, but you know better than to think I'll just leave Grandma's book lying around again."
Sirius met her gaze for a moment, then quickly looked away - sheesh, she could have given Andy a run for her money in a 'looks that could kill' contest, and unlike Andy, she managed it without actually having to glare. Her eyes were wide open, but looking into them nevertheless made Sirius squirm. Whatever happened to Hufflepuffs being thick and wussy? That was the impression Sirius had always gotten of them until now.
"No," he said, "that isnot what happened. I found the book by accident" - not thatthat was exactly true - "and that's what made me think of trying to recite poetry to apologize to Andy. I swear," he added, seeing her doubting face. "That's what happened! But you're right about the rest... she didn't like the poem. So I need another one. I just need to borrow the damn book for two seconds. You canwatch me if you like. Do you really think I'm that dumb, that I'd steal a book and then ask for it back?"
"Yes," said Rosalie Cranmer.
He shook his head. "Look, my last class today is potions with the Slytherins. I'll stay behind to ask Professor Duncan a question, and then I'll meet you outside after everybody else has gone. Anddon't tell anybody I talked to you, okay?"
"Who are you, James Bond?" asked Rosalie Cranmer.
"Who?" asked Sirius.
She sighed. "All right, I'll meet you. But I swear," she added, holding up a finger in his face, "if you do anything to Grandma's book, I will hex your face inside out!"
There wasn't really anything about that threat that made it necessarily worse than any other 'or else...' a young wizard might encounter on a given day... maybe it was just the way she said it in such a perfectly calm voice that made him feel a bit sick. "Don't worry about it," he said. "I just need a poem and then I'll give it right back."
"Good," she nodded.
He stepped back. "You go in ahead of me."
She gave him another glare that could have withered a houseplant, and went ahead of him into the greenhouse without a word. Sirius waited a few seconds - he'd prefer if as few people as possible knew that he'd been talking to her - and then followed her in.
Professor Mugwort smiled as he stepped inside. "Oh, and here's Mr. Black!" she exclaimed. "Excellent! Now, as I was just explaining to everybody who got here on time, we will be pruning the sapient pear trees today. The punctual students have already gotten into pairs, so it looks as if Mr. Black and Miss Cramer will be working together."
"What?" asked Sirius out loud.
"Mr. Black," said Professor Mugwort, "if you wanted to choose your own partner, you should have been here on time. Now go and get your gloves and clippers."
He exchanged a glance with Rosalie Cranmer, and found her looking just as horrified as he at the idea of having to work together. On the far side of the room, James and Remus were snickering. Bastards!
"I did not plan this," he whispered to his new partner, as they both grabbed a pair of gloves.
"I wouldn't have thought you had if you hadn't mentioned it," she replied.
Remus' hand rose. "Professor Mugwort," he said innocently, "I have a question: the sapient pear trees are a long-term project, right? We'll be studying them the rest of the school year?"
"Until your NEWTs, yes," the professor nodded.
"Are we supposed to keep the same partner the entire time?" Remus' voice positively dripped with sincerity, but he was looking right at Sirius. Sirius badly wanted to crawl under the table.
"Of course," said Professor Mugwort. "How am I supposed to grade your work otherwise?"
Oh, yes... this was going to be a bad day.
The herbology class was one of the most painful hours of Sirius' life. Time moved so slowly that Sirius honestly began wondering if one of his so-called friends had put a charm on the greenhouse clock to stop it. Rosalie Cranmer did her best to pretend that everything was quite normal, but he refused to do likewise or even to speak to her. The only way he communicated was to snatch things from her when he thought she was doing something wrong. And while she may not have known what to think when he'll pulled her aside, it was plenty plain that by the end of class, she despised him as much as he did her.
He wasn't sure whether this was a good thing or not. Girls were supposed to like Sirius Black - he was one of the three most handsome boys at Hogwarts! But he wasn't supposed to like them back, except for a select few. His reputation as a ladies' man might be ruined by Rosalie Cranmer disliking him, but his reputation as a man of taste would certainly be ruined if he showed any signs of liking her.
Fortunately, Herbology did eventually end, and then there would be no more classes with the Hufflepuffs for the rest of the day As soon as the bell rang, he was officially free of her, and tried not to think about having to work with her every single Herbology class for the next month as he hurried off to Care of Magical Creatures.
But some higher power had apparently decided that this would be the day from hell. Ten minutes into class, Sirius got squirted with ink from an Invisible Squid, and had to go to the hospital wing to have his head, shoulders, and right arm made visible again. Even with Madam Pomfrey's best efforts, he was still somewhat transparent as he headed off to transfiguration. There, Professor McGonagall had them turning teasets into various types of eggs. Sirius managed to make a goose egg out of the sugar bowl, but in trying to turn the teapot into an ostrich egg, he got an alligator egg... which immediately hatched, and its inhabitant bit him.
By the time potions rolled around, he was quite sure that nothing further could go wrong... but it did anyway. While Professor Duncan droned on about the many uses for the juice of golden apples, Sirius took out his frustration by charming the words the professor was chalking on the blackboard to rearrange themselves into a caricature of her. There shouldn't have been any possible way she could have known it was him... but she glanced at the drawing, and then without even turning around said, "detention, Mr. Black."
So at the end of the day, there he was, scrubbing sticky, smelly golden apple juice out of cauldrons with a hand transparent enough to read through. Sirius tried to look on the bright side by noting that at least he wouldn't have to talk to Rosalie Cranmer again today... she would wait for him a while, decide he'd stood her up, and walk off mad, and then maybe she wouldn't try to talk to him in herbology again, either. He could probably find a poem elsewhere. Asking her about it had been a stupid idea to begin with.
But halfway down the third cauldron, he realized somebody was watching him... and when he looked up, there she was in the doorway.
"What are you doing here?" asked Sirius.
"You asked me to meet you," she replied.
"Well, yeah," he said, "but in case you didn't notice, I'm in detention."
"You never said that meant you didn't want me to show up," she pointed out.
"I didn't think you were going to anyway," he said. After the way he'd treated her this morning, she ought to hate him. Why had she bothered coming?
She shook her head. "I said I'd be here, and here I am, doing what I said I'd do. It's a Hufflepuff thing - I guess a Gryffindor wouldn't understand."
"A Gryffindor wouldn't do something that dumb," said Sirius.
"No, a Gryffindor wouldn't do a favour for a stranger," said Rosalie calmly. "They're always too worried about doing favours for themselves."
"We are not!"
"Gryffindors," Rosalie sat down on a desk, her grandmother's book in her lap, "are egotistical and foolhardy. Slytherins are cowardly jerks, and Ravenclaws are nerds who can't function in the real world." She didn't say this as if she believed any of it. It sounded more like she was testing for his reaction.
"And Hufflepuffs are as thick as two short planks," said Sirius sourly. "But since you're here, can you stop insulting me and just lend me the stupid book?"
She nodded, then opened the book and began flipping through it. "What kind of poem did you want?"
"Something not mushy," said Sirius.
"Not mushy?" she said. "Well, there's your problem, right there! No wonder she turned you down. If you want to impress your lady love, it needs to be mushy."
"She's not my lady love," snarled Sirius. "She's my cousin, actually. We have absolutely no designs on each other, it's just that my friends and I always go to things with the triplets, which makes it especially stupid that she wants me to pretend I'm courting her!"
"But she obviously wants a mushy poem, because she didn't like it when you tried one that wasn't," Rosalie pointed out. She then closed her book and thought for a moment. "Andromeda Black has red hair, doesn't she?"
"Yes," said Sirius, wondering how anybody could possibly need reminding. Andy had the reddest hair at Hogwarts.
"Then I know just the thing," said Rosalie, smiling for the first time. "It's from Romeo and Juliet."
Sirius stared at her, hoping she was joking - but if she was, it didn't show. "You have got to be kidding me."
"Juliet had red hair," Rosalie said. "When Romeo first sees her, he says:" she shut her eyes and recited,
O! She doth teach the torches to burn bright!
It seems she hangs upon the cheek of night
As a rich jewel in an Ethiop's ear!
Beauty too rich for use, for earth too dear!
So shows a snowy dove trooping with crows
As yonder lady over her fellows shows!
The measure done, I'll watch her place of stand
And touching hers, make blessed my rude hand
Did my heart love til now? Forswear it, sight!
For I never saw true beauty until this night!
Sirius was actually sort of impressed. He had hardly understood the archaic language of that, and very much doubted his ability to memorize it. That Rosalie could recite it off the top of her head was rather amazing. And he had no doubt Andy would love it... but he couldn't see himself reciting it in front of hundreds of his peers. The very thought made him shudder.
"Does your cousin like Shakespeare?" asked Rosalie.
Sirius shrugged. "I don't know. Shakespeare was a Muggle, wasn't he? Her parents probably wouldn't approve."
"Well, that's their loss," Rosalie said lightly. "You better keep scrubbing that cauldron, and I'll say the lines and you can repeat them back until you know them, all right?"
"Right," agreed Sirius. No matter HOW this turned out, he was never, ever going to live it down, was he?