Guess who? Yes, it is I, I have finally finished this. I know that most of you probably don't even remember this fic, as I have not updated in months, but it is not my fault. My computer system failed and all files were lost when I was sentences away from finishing. First the first time my lack of organization that shows when I don't wait to finish a fic before I post, came in handy, for if I had waited then I would have lost the whole story. This way, I at least had it on the web.

Anyhoo, I won't bore you with more reasons that don't excuse my laziness and procrastination. Here's the story.

If ever before I thought I knew grief- the death of my mother, the choice of Arwen- then I was wrong, for nothing could compare to the woe we now all suffered. A mountain had fallen on top of us, and no one had the strength or the will to lift it. It was not only the company to whom I was not able to explain why I had not helped Gandalf on that ledge, but it was also to myself. I do not know what it was inside of me that kept me planted on the ground like a statue- perhaps fear or shock. But I do know that had I listened to my instincts- had I heeded that desperate call of both my mind and my heart- Gandalf would be standing here with us, grieving, perhaps over me. Oh, what I would not give this moment to be falling down that forsaken pit instead of my dear friend. He was the one that had to live…our guide, our hope. I am nothing. A coward maybe, but nothing more.

Instinctively, I looked to Legolas for strength and support, momentarily forgetting that I would not find it. He looked back at me with eyes that broke my heart. Such despair was reflected in them, such confusion. Being born of an immortal race, he had never witnessed death. In truth, neither had I. True, we had fought and killed many in our time, but we had not hated the Valar so much for being this cruel. Death was always like a myth. Like a fictional tale parents would often tell their children to scare them into being good. It was never real. Nevertheless, some intangible entity bid me to go on, bid me to swallow my emotions. Everything in me screamed of danger. Gandalf planned to take us to Lothlorien, and that is where I intended to go.

"Lead them on, Aragorn"

Gandalf's words echoed through my mind Lead. Several times I repeated the word within my head and every time it seemed foreign. How can one lead a company when he cannot even lead himself?

Sighing and holding back the tears that threatened to leave me, I called to my elven companion.

"Legolas, get them up!" I made a motion indicating that I meant the hobbits.

Boromir instantly protested. "Give them a moment, for pity's sake."

And I knew that he was right. My heart bid me to do nothing but let my companions grieve over our fallen friend. For the hobbits this loss was much more devastating than to any one of us. But my mind would not allow it. We were in danger staying here and I could not bear losing any more of my comrades.

"By nightfall these hills will be swarming with orcs," I explained to him. "We must reach the woods of Lothlorien."

Not waiting to hear him comply, I turned and took a head start in the direction of the woods.

Our opposing welcome in Lorien was not surprising to me. The elves of the golden wood have always been cautious and very wary with strangers, especially at times like these. Especially when we brought with us not only a dwarf, but also the very source of evil. Nevertheless, I was able to convince Haldir, my old friend, that we needed the protection of the Lord and Lady. I know, though, that the reason he let us through was because of Legolas…because he understood that it was Legolas who needed this place more than any of us.

When we were brought before the lady Galadriel, all, save Legolas and I, looked upon her with awe, not knowing if she was a friend or foe, yet not being able to look away from her stunning and hypnotizing beauty. Even Gimli, who was so critical of the elves, could not deny that Galadriel was the most beautiful creature he ever laid eyes upon. As Galadriel spoke to us words of comfort in our dark hour, I knew that she was at the same time saying something to each of my companions within there mind so that none save them could hear her. Boromir at one point looked away with tears in his eyes, and I knew that whatever the Lady said to him penetrated his heart. Legolas, on the other hand, smiled sadly and looked down. I noted his features of despair that were not only from Gandalf's fall. After our night in Moria he acted no different than how he was at the start of the quest, which proved that I was unable to help him. Of course, it seems as though there's no one I can help anymore.

I was watching him sadly when all of a sudden I heard a voice inside my own head.

"Do not grieve so much over him, Aragorn son of Arathorn," she said to me. "He has been

through much. With time he will once again be as you knew him."

"But I only wish that I could do something to help him."

"All you can do is wait and love. Do not blame yourself for the faults of Fate. It is beyond your control."

Now I sat beneath a canopy, sharpening by sword and listening to the lamenting songs of the elves. The grieving melody and words brought tears to my eyes, and looking at Legolas I saw the same reaction.

"What do they say about him?" Merry asked Legolas.

"I have not the heart to tell you," the elf answered, "For me the grief is still too near."

I sighed at his words. He did not deserve this sadness on top of his already existing one. None of my companions did.

A few meters away I heard Sam mumbled something to Merry.

"I bet they don't mention his fireworks," he said, "there should be a verse about them."

He then got up in front of all of us and recited his verse about Gandalf's fireworks:

"The finest rockets ever seen,

They burst in starts of blue and green

And after thunder, silver showers

Come falling, like a rain of flowers"

As innocent and blissful as the poem was, it afflicted me. I remember as a child growing up in Rivendell, Gandalf often visited and brought fireworks along with him. My father was always against them, for he believed that they caused nothing but racket and annoyance. Nevertheless, when the House would retire for the night, Gandalf would kidnap and take me to a nearby clearing where he would delight me with the magic of his fireworks. Every shape and creature that I could possibly imagine he would be able to make. Even when many years have passed and I became of age, he would still entertain me in such a fashion. Legolas too, when he stayed with us in Imladris, would greatly enjoy Gandalf's tricks, despite his old age.

I looked to my elven companion. He stood by a tree beneath which the elanor flower bloomed, his features sullen and weary. He had long since dropped his stone mask, but only I was able to see his true feelings while to the rest of the fellowship they were obscured. Elves had a way of making themselves concealed when wanted to. I could tell that he had the same memories running through his mind as I. I had hoped that in the midst of this spellbound place, he would find that consolation that I was not able to give him, but it seemed as though he saw no difference between Moria and Lorien.

Getting up from my place beneath the canopy, I walked over to him. Why, I cannot say, for I knew that it was not to bring him comfort. In way, I think, it was because of more selfish reasons…because I myself longed for comfort that in happier times only he could bring me. My mind and spirit instinctively sought his in times of woe.

"She spoke to you, did she not?" he asked me, neither turning towards me nor waiting until I fully approached him. "I saw it in your eyes."

"Aye."

Even though I did not see his face, I knew that he had smiled softly. "The lady possesses forces that naught save perhaps Elrond and Mithrandir, could comprehend."

I sighed at this. "Do you remember Imladris? When Gandalf used to come?"

"I remember many things," he replied coldly, so coldly that it made shiver, though the night was warm.

"What did she say to you, Legolas?"

At this he finally turned around to face me. His face he tried to harden, but his own eyes betrayed him. I could have laughed at his ridiculous attempts to hide himself away from me, had it not been for our current sorrow. "She spoke of my father and the corruption of Greenwood. She said to me that even now there is hope left. But I cannot see it. It has been long since we have seen any hope."

For the first time in my life, I could have sworn on the grave of my mother that he actually believed that, and I understood him.

"There is always hope, Legolas," I told him, though not exactly trusting my own words.

This time he laughed. Not a mirthful laugh filled with song as he once did, but a vitriolic and cruel laugh, that somewhat reminded me of the Dark One. "Why do you lie so openly? You, who once was Estel. Hope, you say? There is hope? You expect one to believe you when you don't even believe yourself."

I couldn't even take offend at his bitter words, and was able to turn my head away from him, unable to look him in the eyes. Through everything that has transpired between us since our meeting in Rivendell, one thing had not changed: he still saw through me better that I through him.

After a silence passed between us, he sighed softly.

"What is that you want of me?" he whispered with a hint of desperation in his voice. "Why can't you leave me in peace, Aragorn? At least in honor of the friendship we once shared."

This remark tore my heart. "How can say that, 'once shared'? Legolas, I cannot say that I can possibly fathom all that had happened to you, for there is very little that you revealed to me, and yet I do not ask for more. I, too, have memories to which I wish not to return. Know that I suffer also, not just from losing Mithrandir, but from thinking that I can lose you as well."

My eyes filled with tears that I longed to shed, yet did not dare to, and for a moment I thought that Legolas too felt the same helplessness as I.

"Forgive me, Aragorn," he said gently, "I cannot give you the comfort that you seek. The Lady has asked me to see her tonight. I shall not keep her waiting."

He was about to walk away, when I called out his name and he turned back to me.

"Know that I ask for nothing but your friendship back."

He smiled sadly, and locking eyes with me for the final time, he walked away. My eyes traced him until he disappeared out of sight. And with him, Legolas took away a friendship that I was not able to salvage.

By the time I had reached the sound of the great horn, I was already too late. Nothing greeted me save for hundreds of corpses, among which I found my companion. We had only seconds to exchange a few last words before he joined the spirits of his noble forefathers. Boromir revealed to me that he had tried to take the Ring. He said that he was weak…that he failed us. But nay! twas not Boromir who betrayed Arda, but I.

"Be at peace, son of Gondor," I whispered to him, kissing his brow when the focus disappeared from his eyes.

I got up from beside the now empty carcass that lay at my feet. My body stood there frozen, like it did at Kazad-dum when Gandalf fell. Another dead because of my folly…my cowardice. Another brave light extinguished because I was not strong enough to keep it lit. Was this the emptiness Isildur felt when Elendil fell? Nay, I decided, for despite his despair he still found strength within himself to lift the broken sword and defeat Sauron, whereas I did not even have the strength to turn away from this corpse. I heard footsteps behind me, indicating that my companions- or what was left of them- had found me. I wanted to turn and look at them, but couldn't. There was nothing I could do. My body and my mind were disconnected and I did not even care. Frodo and Sam have left us, and Merry and Pippin were taken by Uruk-hai. The fellowship is broken and all because of me…because Fate made a mistake and chose the wrong man to save the people of Middle-earth.

Legolas came to my side. Wordlessly, he placed a firm, yet gentle, hand on my shoulder and in that moment I understood that I could not longer contain my grief. Turning around to him, I buried my head in his broad shoulder and let it absorb my sorrow, not caring if he recoiled or shot me down on the spot. But to my surprise he did neither, nay! he did not even flinch. Instead he moved closer to me so that I may fully lean on him as his body supported mine, and with gentle kindness he wrapped his arms around me. It was in this moment that I finally found solace- liberation from all my grief and woe. In the arms of my dearest friend I felt the weight of the world lifted from my heart; the coldness of my body replaced with a comforting warmth. My form was weak and lifeless, but he willingly let me take in his strength.

I do not know how long we stood as such. My tears have long since dried, and Legolas slowly pulled away, still keeping his arms on my shoulders.

"Come," he said softly, "you have taken wounds and I must see if I can heal them."

I looked up to meet his gaze. "You already have, mellon nin. All of them."

He smiled such a caring smile as he looked at me with gentle, yet grieving eyes; eyes that were filled with love and compassion. In them I saw hope. I saw the young and wise elf I have known for over fifty years. I saw Legolas, my friend…Legolas, my brother.

-

-

THE END

A/N: I really hope you enjoyed this. Forgive me for the lack of canon, but canon is not what this story was about. Please r/r. Reviews mean a lot to me.

Ella