Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Summary: Maybe all Summer Roberts needed was a stranger to look through her. AU. Set in season 1, Holly's party. Ryan/Summer. One Shot

A/N: Thanks to the amazing loracj2 for the beta.

Four Letter Word

Ryan sipped on his drink, scanning the room lazily with his eyes. Drunken teens weren't very unusual to him, but drunken teens having fun and not ending up in Juvi? Now that was something.

Summer Roberts—the bundle of curves Seth had rambled about incessantly, who'd also been the one who invited him to Holly's party—was standing at the opposite corner, her body clad in as little as possible. That was something that happened in Chino all the time.

He decided to look away before anyone caught his stare, especially her. But it was too late, because when he took a subtle glance back, she was stalking towards him, with that knowing look in her eyes. It killed him.

Grinning seductively, she tugged at the bottom of his shirt. The second her lips parted with the incoming of words, Ryan realized just how drunk she was.

"Upstairs…?" she suggested, arching an eyebrow.

Ryan chuckled, eyeing her faintly. His eyes narrowed in curiosity, and he leaned in next to her.

"Do you even know my name?"

Summer stared at him defiantly. "Of course I know your name, dumbass. You're… you know." She strained to remember as he watched her intently. Letting out a frustrated groan, she crossed her arms against her chest. "Look, I'm kinda tipsy."

Ryan laughed, eliciting an unsatisfied glare from Summer. He knew that a girl who throws herself at you and doesn't know your name is someone you could bag with no strings attached. "I've seen koalas more sober than you."

"Listen fuckwit… last offer." She raised her eyebrows in challenge, and then without waiting for an answer, she grasped the bottom of his shirt and flipped around, tugging him behind her. Ryan didn't resist.

They climbed up the stairs and Summer led him into a bedroom. Ryan didn't know whose it was, and on a certain level he didn't want to know. He preferred to keep everything unnamed and unknown, that way he could detach the upcoming events from his mind with ease.

Ryan's eyes were embarrassingly focused on her ass as it swayed from side to side, the rim of her mini skirt jumping with it almost rhythmically.

Summer yanked him inside and toed the door shut with a smirk. Not wasting time, she pulled him into her, feeling his every muscle ripple beneath her touch. Their lips crashed together in an almost painful kiss, and Summer struggled to keep her balance. Between the alcohol and the high his kiss was giving her, she was fighting just to keep her knees from bending.

"Bed," she ordered, and on cue Ryan grabbed her hips and began to pull them backwards until they stumbled onto the bed. Her teeth found his bottom lip and nipped at it lightly as her hand trailed down his body. Abruptly, she squeezed him in her palm and bit down on his lip, making him moan out in pleasure in pain. She released him and sat up on her knees, straddling him. "Damn right."

Digging her heels below his knees, she rocked above him, grinding into him. Her face flushed with satisfaction when his back jerked off the bed and his hands pinned her down demandingly against him. "Fuck," he muttered.

"Gladly."

He watched as she threw one leg from around him and sat on the edge of the bed. She grabbed her purse from on the floor--where she had apparently thrown it—and dug around, producing a condom.

She returned to her position on his lap. Ryan stared up at her blankly, his breaths coming out weak and shallow. Summer's lips pouted and her eyebrows popped up like toast from a toaster. "Did they not teach you how to put on a condom in first grade, you know, when you were learning less important stuff like tying your shoe laces? Unless you're into kinky stuff, in which case, that might come in handy."

Ryan raised an eyebrow and she rolled her eyes heavily. "It's not gonna roll itself on!"

Ryan shut his eyes awkwardly and sat up beneath her, pushing her off him enough to discard of anything standing in the way of the condom and his overly anxious erection.

Summer's breath quickened when she saw what she was dealing with. Ryan noticed her burning gaze fixed on him as he rolled the rubber on himself. If Ryan Atwood ever blushed, his face would be turning hot red right then.

"Okay," Summer announced in a daze, more to herself than to him. Ryan's eyes squinted at her, unsure what she meant. Her eyes shot up, and the hint of actual emotion in them was wiped away instantly with a forced grunt of frustration. "Do I need to get you a manual, or can we actually start?"

Defeated, Ryan climbed back on top of her. He slid his hand over her bare leg, and he could literally feel the goose-bumps on her skin. His eyebrows furrowed in concern. "Cold?"

Summer shook her head, her eyes fluttering closed as her lips countered by parting open. As his hand crept up to her inner thigh, she gasped, and her eyes shot open.

Ryan propped himself up on his palms and gazed down at her. "Are you okay?"

She took a deep breath, nodding quickly. "Yeah," she muttered. "Come on, smartass… I don't have all night."

Despite her regular choice of words, her tone was shaky and soft, almost hesitant.

Ryan brought his hands beneath her skirt and grasped her hips. He pushed up, hiking her skirt until the waistband of her black panties was visible. He took a deep breath, preparing himself. Summer was lying down beneath him, her fingers visibly trembling despite her best efforts to steady them. Her eyes were shut and her intakes of breath were barely noticeable.

Cupping her gently, his heart skipped a beat as her whole body responded with a jolt. Once her tensed body relaxed somewhat under his touch, he slid the panties aside, providing him with a perfect view. If he still had any breath left at that moment, it was taken away.

Crawling up, he positioned himself at her entrance, his tip rubbing at her softly. Her head flew back into the mattress; her eyes squeezed shut along with her gritted teeth. She begged, softly, "Quick, please."

Barely inserting his tip, he grasped onto the mattress and closed his eyes. With the build-up of tension in his body, her intoxicating gasps as she tried to breathe, and the heavy heaving of his chest, he rammed himself inside her. Her muffled scream from behind gritted teeth and the feeling of his hard member breaking her thin barrier scared the living shit out of him.

Yanking out of her, he flew off the bed and stood with his hands outstretched above him, grasping the back of his head. "Summer! What the fuck?"

Summer took a few deep breaths, trying to look past the pain. Her eyes opening, she cringed up at him irately. He was already zipping himself up, his condom still on. She shot up onto her elbows as fast as she could, trying not to move the lower region of her body.

"Ryan!"

He stopped dead in his tracks, silently staring at the ground. She knew his name. What the fuck had he done?

Shaking his head, he made his way out the room and marched down the stairs and out of the house as quick as he could, avoiding all eyes that might've been watching him. Tidying up her image, Summer ran down after him, and the by the time she caught up with him, he was practically running down the road with no destination, not having a clue where he was.

"Would you wait, for Christ's sake?" she yelled after him, her heels clicking against the pavement with each frantic step she took.

Ryan stopped in his tracks and turned to face her. Even though he was distant, Summer could see his chest overflowing with deep breaths.

"Why didn't you tell me that you were…?" He trailed off, tilting his head back and staring into the darkened sky.

"That I was a virgin?" she asked, throwing her hands in the air. "If I hadn't been, would you have left?"

Ryan sighed, dropping his head.

"Yeah, I thought so." She jammed her hands in her pockets. "Would you just fucking finish what you started?"

"No, Summer, listen," he hissed, taking quick steps towards her until they were inches apart. "What happened was wrong, okay? I just… I can't do this. Not to a virgin."

Summer stared up at him with the most degrading look.

"Reality check, Ryan. Last time I checked I'm not a fucking virgin. You see, I don't know what kind of sex ed you were taught, but once that barrier is broken, I'm a slut."

"You're not a slut, for Christ's sake! You were a goddamn virgin! I mean all those jerks you hit on, what the fuck, how was I supposed to know?"

Summer shook her head. "You know what? You are more of an asshole than every single 'jerk' I've ever come across."

For a few heated moments, they stood there, staring at each other, a flame of emotions lighting up their eyes. Breaking eye contact, Ryan looked away.

"I'm sorry," he muttered, meeting her eyes. "I have to go."

Summer watched in bewilderment as he turned to walk away. As if it was easy as that.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me! You've probably slept with every slut you know, you sick fuck. I've heard what they say about you, and I probably risked my life letting you inside me!"

Ryan shook his head and turned around. "I didn't ask you to sleep with me."

"You didn't stop me."

Ryan took a deep calming breath, and taking a few steps forward, he locked his eyes on hers, making sure she understood every word he said.

"Yes. I have slept around, but I've never taken any girl's…" He trailed off. "I'm not that guy."

He began tracking backwards when Summer threw her hands up.

"Well, what, you're gonna take my virginity and just… leave? Without even finishing? At least make it special for me," she spat out mockingly, giving him a glare.

"Just-" He turned around. "Just go home, Summer. The night is already ruined."

Summer fidgeted in her place, trying to swallow the lump that was forming in her throat. "I can't." Ryan's eyebrows furrowed questioningly and she sighed. "My dad left like, 3 hours ago and he forgot to leave me keys."

Ryan's eyes narrowed. "He forgot?"

Summer sighed. "Just fucking leave, Ryan. Thanks a lot for nothing."

Turning to leave, she heard him for once calling out to her. Turning around, she raised her eyebrows at him wearily.

"I'm staying at the Cohens' pool-house. You can take the bed… the couches are more comfortable than anything I've ever slept on."

Summer shook her head. "I don't need your pity."

"I'm not giving you any."

Tapping her foot on the ground impatiently, she sighed. She pushed past him, taking hearty steps forward. She knew for fact that the Cohens lived next to Marissa, so she knew where she was going. "My car is round the corner."

Ryan sighed and followed. Good going, idiot.

Summer cringed, typically unsatisfied, as she entered through the pool-house doors. "Ew. This place smells like a hospital. Did they like sanitize the place with Clorox?"

Ryan shrugged, walking over to the couch and flopping down. He let out a long sigh, shrugging off his suit jacket, and threw his legs above the couch, focusing his eyes at the ceiling.

"Can I change into something?" Summer looked around.

"I don't know, but our sizes might differ a little."

Summer forced a smile. "I've seen enough of you to use size and little in the same sentence."

"Wife-beater in the first drawer," Ryan sighed. "Sweatpants-"

"Sweatpants?" Summer interrupted, her face cringing in disgust. "What are we, in Alaska? It's California, Ryan, we don't do sweatpants."

"Suit yourself."

Summer dug through the first drawer, sniffing the wife-beaters and checking for sweat stains. When all was satisfactory, she began stripping herself.

Ryan looked away abruptly, and Summer caught his uneasiness. She rolled her eyes. "It's not like you weren't inside of me 20 minutes ago."

She unhooked her halter bikini-top, sliding it off her shoulders. Ryan's eyes failed him as they snuck glances at her, and when his breath began to quicken and his pants began to feel 2 sizes smaller, he knew he had to get out of there.

He headed for the bathroom, and Summer smiled to herself. She slipped her mini-skirt down her legs and smelled herself on her lingerie. God, she was such an idiot. Her so-called 'innocence' was gone, and now instead of smelling like Channel no. 5, she smelled like fish. This was so not her night.

Sliding the wife-beater over her head, she made her way to the bed and sat on the edge, her knees hugged tightly to her chest.

After a few moments of calming himself down, Ryan snuck out of the bathroom warily, glancing from side-to-side to check if Summer was done changing. Summer's eyes laughed with amusement as she watched him looking for her.

"Over here," Summer called out, making him stumble back, startled. She smiled as he looked away embarrassedly and attempted to toughen his image. He made his way to the couch and slid off his shoes, all the while staring at the ground. "You can still look at me, you know. I'm not gonna go all superman on your ass and burn your eyes out."

Ryan's eyes hesitantly glanced up, and all his efforts in the bathroom had gone to waste as he saw her sitting on his bed, covered in nothing but a low-hanging wife-beater. He returned his gaze to his feet, focusing on removing his socks.

"I didn't think you'd back out. From what I've heard-" She was interrupted by an abrupt laugh from Ryan.

"Live by your own experiences, not by what people tell you about theirs."

"You don't even know me!"

"That's exactly the point," Ryan hissed, glaring up at her. "I don't know you, Summer. And I took your virginity."

A potential rage black-out surged through Summer's every bone, stiffening her body. "What are you bitching about? I don't see it staining your resume!" she yelled back. "You're not the one who has to live up to some sleazy reputation that society marked for you since the day you slid out of your mother's ass! What're you gonna name her? 'Summer Roberts' AKA –- slut."

"Don't even talk to me about living through hell since the day you were born." His voice raised a notch as his eyes held onto hers. "At least you don't have to come back to a shitty cubicle that you call a home just to find that your mom is fucking passed out with used condoms from last week lining the floor."

"I'm sorry, I wouldn't know. Living on the memory of a mom who left you because you weren't good enough doesn't really qualify as having a parent."

Quiet overtook the room. Their throats were painfully dry. Their eyes locked on each other, a gaze stronger than either of them could have imagined.

Summer reacted first by scooting up the bed and sliding under the covers, her eyes coated with tears that she fought to keep in.

Ryan moved slowly to stand next to the bed.. "Summer, I'm sorry…"

"I just wanted to live an actual life, not a lie," she muttered. "I wanted to be the Summer Roberts that everyone seemed to know, except me."

Ryan stared down at her for a few silent moments before seating himself onto the edge of the bed, his head tilted back so he could keep his eyes on her.

"When I was around 14… my brother, Trey, took me out to a bar. It was this dirty, broken down bar. Even a rat couldn't live in it. But I remember thinking it was the most amazing thing I'd seen. And for the whole night, I was trying to be Trey. Everything he did, I did. At 3 am, I was in the hospital getting my stomach pumped clean. I promised myself I'd never go to that bar again."

Summer's eyes fixed themselves on Ryan's, unable to let go. Her heart began to beat faster as she went into autopilot. She was on her palms and knees, crawling over to him. Her arm wrapped around his shoulder, and his eyes followed her every move. She leaned over and kissed his cheekbone. He winced. She rolled her body over, carefully placing her leg over his lap and sliding onto him.

"Summer," he murmured. "We can't…"

"We already did," she reminded him, kissing him softly as she unbuttoned his shirt. Her hands slid onto his chest, unbuttoning his white shirt, and pushed the thin material down his shoulders.

"We don't have to, Summer…I wish you had waited for someone you really cared-" He was interrupted by her lips against his, her tongue lingering on his lips, begging for entrance. Pushing him back onto the bed, her tongue succeeded in its quest for his mouth, but she broke the kiss as quick as she started it.

"Ryan… I want to learn from my own experiences, not from what people tell me about theirs."

Ryan nodded. His hands slid up her smooth legs for the second time that night. And this time, when she clutched his arms and arched up with those four letters escaping her lips, he knew she knew his name.