Intro: I can't believe this has a fan. No one reviewed FFO: Remix and I seriously offended a certain group of people in DGMN: Beta Force, but somehow I offended no one and managed to get a single review. Thank you, Terminator Hobbes! And now, I shall continue on with PMNT: Chapter 2!
Chapter 2: Meet the baddies
Calvin, Hobbes, Susie and Ozy, now in the form of the Preteen Mutant Ninja Tigers, advanced through the sewers of New York City, trying to locate the lair of the heroes they are emulating, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Ozy: I'm still astonished this is actually happening.
Calvin: You need to be more open-minded to your imagination, Ozy.
Hobbes: Just glad I wasn't affected by any of the transforming. All I got was red sashes and pointy dagger thingies.
Susie: Oh well. Say, Calvin how does this world work?
Calvin: Glad you asked... you dumb girl. Now, whatever or whoever we remember that was very important will appear here as well. Obviously, you can interact with anyone wearing the helmets.
Hobbes: Or we wouldn't be talking right now.
Calvin: Right, but the plot remains similar. For example, Susie, you said in the corny theme song that Mr. Bun was our sensei. However, I think Splinter will still be the sensei, and Mr. Bun will be an apprentice or something.
Hobbes: Speaking of which, we may just find out now. The lair is up ahead, boys and girl.
Indeed, the local of the Ninja/Hero Turtles was up ahead. Waiting within were a tall, tan rabbit with green sashes and the TMNT sensei, Master Splinter.
Mr. Bun: Where were you guys? You were late. We thought you'd been detected!
Calvin: (Whispering) Susie, your doll creeps me out.
Splinter: What was that, young Calvin-Ardo?
Calvin: Nothing, sir!
Hobbes: Erm, I think Susie-Angela hit Calvin-Ardo too hard with her Nunchucks. He asked what was going on.
Susie: (Blows kiss) I think my weapons have a magnetic attraction to frizzle-top's head!
Mr. Bun: Whatever! Okay, ever since the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were captured by the Shredder, we came here to help them out. It turns out we were mutated by the same goop that transformed Splinter and the turtles. Got it, Calvin?
Ozy: I'm sure that he understands now, thank you.
Calvin: (To self) In more ways than one…
Splinter: Calvin-Ardo, you really must speak up when you talk.
Calvin: Oops!
Hobbes: So…you don't mind if we check out some of this stuff?
Splinter: it is best you not, but if you do, return it the way you left it.
Ozy: (Chuckles) too bad you aren't allowed to touch anything, Calvin-Ardo.
Calvin: Zip it, Ozy…Tello!
And so, for a few leisurely minutes, the four kids enjoyed the possessions of their favorite reptiles. Calvin sat down and watched the big-screen TV to catch the episodes he missed back in the real world; Hobbes helped himself to Mikey's comic book collection, Susie panted her claws and trained with Mr. Bun and his Quarter Staff, and Ozy meditated with Splinter. When all of a sudden, the cartoons are cancelled due to an emergency news update. The reporter: A slightly older version of Ozy's friend, Millie, making the report.
Millie: I'm Millicent O'Neal, live on the streets of New York City for a special news update.
Ozy: (Meditation breaks) Millicent?
Millie: That's right. It's Judgment Day here, as the crime organization calling themselves the Foot Clan, no I'm not making this name up either, has launched an all-out attack. All residents must stay indoors and arm themselves, for they are coming for you!
Susie: Huh? (Hit in the head with Mr. Bun's Quarter Staff) Ouch!
Millie: I know what you're thinking, "What kind of freaks attacks us?" Well, you'd better look for yourselves. (Pan camera to streets)
Marching behind multiple uniformed ninjas with their faces covered, were four forces of evil. A teenage woman wearing metal armor over her red shirt and jeans, face covered by a metal samurai helmet, was fallowed by three cronies: A huge, hulking teenage rabbit wearing a ripped-up jersey, an equally large lamb, and a short, yet masculine, boy with a black shirt and yellow pants. His greasy black hair covered his eyes, but the strangest part was the glass barrier in his abdominals containing a monster brain. In reality, they were Calvin and Ozy's worst nightmares: Rosalyn and Moe, plus Jeremy Studdely and Felicia.
Jeremy: You'd better respect! The name's Rock-Studdely! I'll smash you fairy boy humans into hamburger! (Breaks down house with a single punch)
Felecia: Like, guh, you can call me Felecia-Bop. I like to take fashion-senseless dorks and fry them like onion rings with my combination Hairdryer/Ray Gun!
Cops: Get her! (Fires at Felecia)
Felecia: Back off! Blue is like, so 5 minutes ago! (Fires laser rings out of ray gun, knocking policemen away)
Moe/Krang: (Simultaneously) You simpletons! Bow before the awesome might of Krang, intergalactic warrior of Dimension X! (Shoots rockets from Moe's hands at police cars, blowing them sky-high)
Rosalyn: Allow me to introduce my ninja soldiers, for I am their leader, the Shreddette! I tear little brats to pieces with my metal claws! (Holds up little kid, slowly placing claws against kid's cheek) If you don't give me all the money in your banks, this monster won't be the only thing I tear in half!
Millie: As you can see, we are in serious trouble. I leave you with only one question: Where are the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?
Calvin: (Turns off TV) we don't know, but the Preteen Mutant Ninja Tigers can stop you punks! Come on, kids!
Hobbes/Ozy/Susie/Mr. Bun: You got it!
A quick ride in the Turtle Van later…
With Splinter on the wheel, our four ninja tiger heroes advanced into the streets of NYC.
Splinter: Now we shall see if you four are really trustworthy of tracking down my students and sons.
Ozy: Do not worry, Master Splinter. We shall fight to our best efforts.
Susie: That's right. I'm ready to fight.
Hobbes: (To Calvin) Calvin, can you…die in this virtual reality?
Calvin: (To Hobbes) uh…I didn't test that feature. You can feel pain, but I don't know if real damage stays with you in reality.
Hobbes: (Tail becomes bushy) WHAT?
Mr. Bun: (Swerves) Whoa! The road up ahead is too damaged for me to go further. Shall Sensei and I come with you?
Susie: We'll scream out to you if we need help. (To PMNT) Who are we? (Places paw forward)
Calvin: We're Teenage… (Puts paw on Susie's)
Ozy: Mutant… (Places paw on Calvin and Susie's)
Hobbes: Ninja… (Places paw on the other three's)
Susie: Tigers!
Calvin/Ozy/Hobbes/Susie: Preteen Mutant Ninja Tigers, Preteen Mutant Ninja Tigers,
Preteen Mutant Ninja Tigers, Heroes in the Double Stripe, TIGER POWER! (Exits Turtle Van)
Rosalyn: (Looks at van) Well, what do you know? Some more freaks want to try and stop us. Foot Ninjas, get them!
The ninja jumped into the scene as Calvin, Hobbes, Susie, and Ozy drew their weapons and got ready to fight, for "real"! The first crowd was yellow-suited and unarmed. A wave of soldiers jump-kicked, but fell when our heroes ducked. : ) sadly, one grabbed Susie in a choke hold, but Ozy was there to Bo Staff whack the punk unconscious. Hobbes dueled with one Foot Soldier, fist to claw, but another sneaked up from behind and held Hobbes down as the other punched and kicked the tiger in his long, lanky gut. Calvin, with his Keyblade practice, slashed the puncher, and then proceeded to throw one of his Katana at the holder's head. The baddie ducked, and Hobbes used this to his advantage to stab the yellow Foot ninja. Susie flipped her Nunchukas around one soldier's neck and choked him as revenge for her strangling attack. Luckily, Susie didn't choke long enough to kill, but released the throat and bopped the back of the head with her other Nunchuck. Stomping into place was then Jeremy.
Jeremy: Time to make me some tiger-skin bathing suits!
Calvin: (Running to recover other Katana) EW… that's gross. Possibly, if I can get my other sword…
Jeremy: (Punts Calvin) that's what you think, you fairy cat!
Ozy: Jeremy, you can only call one person a fairy… (Smashes staff in Jeremy's face) Me!
Jeremy: (Whines, holds faces) Aaaoww…my node!
Susie: Who's a fairy boy now? (Slings Nunchukas)
Jeremy: (Hit by Nunchucks) OMPH! Felecia-Bop, stop combing your fleece and get out here!
Calvin: (Crawling along ground, hurt) almost…got…it…
Felecia: Like, guh, I was only powdering my snout! (Switches Hairdryer to "Shake and Bake" setting) Time to make a fashionable tiger-print jacket! (Fires laser rings)
Hobbes: GET BEHIND ME! (Runs ahead and catches lasers with Sai daggers) OW! Hot metal, hot metal! (Juggles Sai daggers, then punts them at Felecia) Ouch, my feet! (Hops up and down on one foot)
Felecia: (Sai scratches face) Like, HOT! I just used a fur curler! (Switches Hairdryer to "Nuclear Meltdown") YOU'RE DEAD FOR RUINING MY FLEECE! (Rapid-Fires rays at Hobbes)
Hobbes: (Struck many times) OW! Oof! Ouch! (Falls to knees)
Susie: Hobbes!
Ozy: (Runs up ahead) I mustn't hit a girl, so I shall empty my anger on you, Jeremy! Todome da! (Swings Bo like a baseball bat)
Jeremy: (Grabs Bo, snaps it in half) you're mine! (Trips) WHAT!
Calvin: (Reveals Katana, shimmering in street light) as I was saying, I wanted my sword to get myself a lucky rabbit's foot! (Giggles)
Jeremy: Very funny, weenie! YAAAAAAH!
Ozy: Mr. Bun! You're Quarter Staff!
Mr. Bun: Cowabunga, dude! (Tosses weapon)
Ozy: (Catches) thank you. Now… Hissatsu! (Swings at Jeremy)
Jeremy: (Hit) OOOOOOOOOOOW! (Falls to knees)
Susie: (Rushes Felecia) I call this my Gentle Breeze attack! (Swings Nunchukas in an intricate pattern, striking many times)
Rosalyn: Pass the popcorn, Krang.
Moe: (Passes popcorn bag)
Felecia/Jeremy: (Runs back to Rosalyn) take us out of here!
Rosalyn: And it was getting good, too. (To PMNT) WE'LL BE BACK! (Boards Technodrome)
Calvin, Hobbes, Ozy, and Susie tossed the colored smoke bombs they were given ahead of time, and vanished into the Turtle Van as policemen helped the civilians and arrested the defeated Foot Ninjas. Millie, however, climbed down from her hideout on the roof of a building and slinked underground.
Back at the Lair, as Mr. Bun and Splinter slumbered…
After a quick pizza celebration, the four kids secretly stayed up and talked underneath the covers of their adventure.
Calvin: Man! This was fun!
Hobbes: Yeah, fun right up until I got my lunch lasered!
Ozy: Yes, I didn't think the harm of those people was much fun, even if they deserved it.
Calvin: What are you talking about! You pummeled those guys!
Ozy: Yes, but out of self-defense.
Susie: It has to be about 3:00 PM now. Let's go home.
Calvin: Come on! A little longer?
Susie: Come on, Calvin.
Calvin: (Mumbles) Man, I hate girls… (Out loud) Okay, just hit the on button again.
All: (Presses button) Huh?
Calvin: Uh oh…
End chapter 2.
BTW: Here are some terms you may need to know-
Quarter Staff: A British Weapon, similar to a Bo Staff, but with metal on the end.
Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles: TMNT in the UK, it was changed for they thought "Ninja" was too violent.
Todome Da: Japanese for "The final blow!"
Hissatsu: Japanese for "Death blow!"