Disclaimers: Elena Gilbert, Stefan Salvatore and friends, along with the Vampire Diaries I - IV belong to L.J. Smith. Everything else is mine. No harm intended or money made from this fic.
Notes:
~ Chapter ~
::Thoughts or telepathy::
_emphasis or italics_
~ Three ~
The hinges creaked as the door swung open slowly. A wedge of light from the corridor fell on the figure huddled over a still form on the narrow cot along the wall.
The man – little more than a boy, really – twisted in his crouched position to look over his shoulder. His eyes were wide and disoriented as he stared at the person silhouetted against the light.
"Help. Help... me..." he breathed threadily.
The figure moved closer and he noted, without understanding, that it was a girl. She knelt beside him and placed a hand on the quiet body on the bed. Two small marks were stark on the white neck.
The man, whose name was Eiran, shut his eyes, but could not deny the scene before him. He was young, as such things were measured among vampires – a mere three decades. His beloved – her name was Grace – had been the light of his life for the past five years. She had known about him, of course. Had even asked to be changed so that they may live out eternity together. Eiran had steadfastly refused for a reason that now seemed all the more stupid; he did not want her to live in the shadows, as he had to.
He had been attacked by a vampire one day, changed at random for sport and left to fend for himself. He hated what he was, forced to live on other creatures, other people. He tried to go without as much as possible, starving himself to the point of being dangerous.
Now his worst nightmare had come true; wakening from the feeding frenzy to hold Grace's cold, limp body in his hands. Her eyes stared glassily at the ceiling in shock, in fear, in pain.
"No," he breathed and sobbed quietly.
"What can I do?" the unknown female asked.
"Take it away. Take it all away," he said incoherently, meaning the bloodlust, the killing, the never-ending, fear-filled, painful _need_.
"Are you sure?" she asked, dragging his awareness away from the inward swirl of agony and self-hatred and back to the mundane, physical world.
"Yes!" he screamed at her, raging.
"Very well," she said, and raising a stake he had not seen her holding, rammed it through his undead heart.
* * *
Eiran's apartment looked different with morning sunlight streaming in through the window. The ray played across the cot against the wall – now empty. Later that day, it touched the edges of a large brown stain on the floor, a remnant of the vampire's heart's final contractions. Towards evening, the light caught the simple gold circle set with a lapis lazuli that had been left on the desk.
* * *
To: bonbons, msulez
From: nightlight
Subject: What a good idea!
Date: Wed, 22 July 1992 12:45:06 -0700
Dear Bonnie, Meredith,
I've finally got myself an AOL account! Meredith, this is great! Now you can write me without us worrying about your letters getting lost in the mail! Thanks for telling us about it! (Yes, I'm excited – you can tell from the exclamation marks.)
Anyway, Stefan's fine and so am I. We just arrived in San Francisco and I think we'll stay awhile – there's so much to see! As always, how long we'll stay and where we'll go after this is anyone's guess.
Gonna go see 'Frisco now! Hear from ya!
Love,
E.
* * *
To: nightlight
From: bonbons
Subject: Re: Hiya!
Date: Thurs, 13 Sept 1992 14:05:41 -0400
Dear E (& S),
I'm writing this during media studies lab – needless to say, I'm bored out of my mind. Why am I doing this course again?
Anyway (totally ignoring that fuddy-duddy of a lecturer), how is the East Coast? Where are you now; New York? Philadelphia? Boston? Atlantic City? Oh, to be in the Big Apple right now. Well, anywhere but here.
E, remember that incredibly gorgeous guy in my graphics design class? Well, we somehow ended up sitting together in yesterday's class. His name is Ken (and if you say anything about Barbie…) Barton. He asked me out! We're going for a movie and dinner. Give you the juicy details later.
Did I tell you? I'm going to visit Kerri, my Druid cousin, again. Not quite sure when, but I'm definitely going!
Oh, good, class is over. Tty next time.
Bonns
* * *
To: nightlight
From: msulez
Subject: Settling in...
Date: Mon, 9 Nov 1992 01:25:08 -0400
Hey E.
It's been a week since I got here. I'm settling in okay. I've got a roommate here in the halls. Her name's Fiona Haydn. I haven't seen much of her - she's out all the time – so it's a little hard to tell if we get along.
Alaric's been showing me around the campus and town. There's quite a lot to do; Duke's a little busier than Boone would have been. I won't lack things to do. (wry) I do miss Bonnie, though.
Alaric will be leaving for China in a couple of weeks. Palmistry and other traditional fortune-telling abilities there.
How's Chicago? Write soon!
Meredith
* * *
To: nightlight
From: bonbons
Subject: Omigosh!
Date: Fri, 5 Feb 1993 21:30:26 -0400
Elena, omigosh! I got it! I love it! Thank you thankyouthankyou! It's _perfect_! It's wonderful, lovely, so, so great! I'm speechless! Where did you _find_ it?
Okay, breathe. I'm breathing. It's really, really out-of-this-world marvelous.
The length of the chain is _just right_. The pendant could not have fallen better if it had been custom-made. I'm going to wear it tonight with my new black spaghetti strap top. Matt's in town, so he's taking me out to dinner. I'm _sure_ he'll approve of the combination. (Wink)
Just wanted to let you know I got it and I love it! Thank you again.
Okay, I'll stop now.
Bonnie.
* * *
To: bonbons
From: nightlight
Subject: Need a favor
Date: Fri, 30 Apr 1993 02:31:00 -0400
Hey Bon,
Sorry I haven't written in a while – was getting over another case of flu. I've either developed an allergy to something all of a sudden or it's a hormonal thing; I seem to be catching the bug all the time now.
Anyway, I need a favor from you; Margaret's birthday is in two weeks. I got her some things; hair stuff, some knick knacks, a bracelet. Would you give them to her for me? How is she doing, do you know? And Aunt Judith?
E.
* * *
To: nightlight
From: msulez
Subject: (None)
Date: Tues, 18 May 1993 03:28:59 -0400
Dear E,
Alaric and I broke up tonight. There, I've said it.
Why? Well,... it just got too hard, what with him traveling all the time and me trying to handle school and having a part-time boyfriend.
We still care for each other very much. Somehow, that makes it harder, not easier. We're still good friends, when it boils down to it. But I think we both need some time on our own to put things in perspective. It's too easy right now to go beyond the bounds of friendship, when we're both so used to being more. Where to draw the line?
Anyway, I'm going to bed; all I need is to flunk out to bring the whole world crashing down around my ears. Move on, right? Keep busy? That's what people always say. Yeah, see, I'm doing okay. I'll just keep saying that. Eventually, I know, it will be true.
Thanks for listening. Talk to you some more another time.
Meredith
* * *
To: bonbons
From: nightlight
Subject: Sleepless in Seattle
Date: Sun, 6 Jun 1993 04:01:36 -0700
Hey Bonnie,
I'm rather restless tonight. Maybe I'll take a walk along the wharf. It's such a beautiful summer's night.
Have you heard from Meredith? Hope she's doing better. I wish there was something more we could do for her. Well, it's been a couple of weeks. Give her time, right? (sigh) Guess neither of us can help but worry about her.
I've been thinking lately that maybe I could do a distance learning course. Seeing new places is all good and well, but I can't be doing that for the rest of my life! I mean, I want to learn so much more, to make something of myself. Then I think, "What for?" It's not like I can build myself a career or stay long enough in a place to even take on a full-time job! And not that I need to; Stefan has enough to take care of us both for as long as necessary.
Maybe I will go for that walk now. Hope life's treating you well.
*hugs*
E.
* * *
Elena shut the laptop with a faint click that sounded clearly in the dim silence of the room. Stefan was sleeping peacefully. Elena thought that it was ironic for him, a supposed creature of night, to be sound asleep while she suffered insomnia.
Quietly, she grabbed her things and a coat and left. The building where they rented an apartment was located on the fringes of the city. It was a fifteen minute walk to the wharf, where fishing vessels came in daily to deliver fresh seafood to the city's health-conscious, affluent consumers. At this hour, the place bustled, but gently, the frenzy of activity yet to begin.
Elena paused to lean against the rail and felt the breeze off the water ruffle her hair. She had let it grow out in the past year and it now reached mid-back.
The past year had been good, she acknowledged. She and Stefan had talked as they had never done – had never had the chance to do, really – in the past. They spent endless hours getting to know each other; on the road, curled together in the dark at night, sightseeing in city after city. In the first few months, they never ran out of things to talk about. She had learned so much about Stefan; he liked Latin dancing but refused to sing a note, for example, and he couldn't stomach the smell of seaweed so sushi was a no-no.
But then, they had fallen into a routine. She found herself taking his presence – taking _him_ – for granted sometimes. What was worse was that they were increasingly insensitive and intolerant towards each other. The realization depressed her thoroughly.
The glow of first love had faded and she now realized that having a lasting relationship took a lot of work. Jokes about mundane, domestic differences breaking up relationships did not seem so funny anymore.
Oh, it wasn't the toothpaste or any other physical habits that were the trouble; it ran deeper than that.
Stefan was, at the core of his being, an aristocrat. The mystery of his source of income had been solved quickly enough.
Like many aristocrats, he didn't work; he dealt in commodities. Over his 500-odd years in the world, he had invested in items that were of little value in their time and sold them later – when they were valuable antiques. Proceeds from that were in turn invested in other ventures, which yielded returns, creating a snowball effect. Elena rather thought he might have worked, in the beginning, as a penniless, disoriented new vampire in the streets of Florence, once upon a time. Then again, she reconsidered, it was equally likely that he had gained his seed money from his early victims' coin. She pushed that thought away gingerly.
Wealth in itself was not the problem. The issue was that Elena wanted to be self-sufficient. She wanted to earn her own living, not rely on him to provide for her food and lodging – her every material need. She did not want his charity.
Was it really a matter of living off him that she objected to? No, this was a genuine need for self-actualization on her part. She remembered clearly when she'd registered the craving. They had spent the day in yet another of a hundred parks they'd been to over the past year, browsed a mall much like any other, visited a museum that held nothing remarkable. A question had emerged in her mind that evening, while they had been curled together on the couch, watching TV, "Is this how it's going to be from now on?" The prospect had frightened her more than she could have believed.
Elena Gilbert was not – and never would be – mediocre, she had sworn then.
_Stefan has enough to take care of us both for as long as necessary,_ she had told Bonnie and it as true. Stefan would gladly let her take any course or training she desired – and pay for it – it was just a diversion to him, something to pass the time, not something practical, to be put to use. Stefan _expected_ to provide for her. What was more, he expected her to accept that as a matter of course. Both were assumptions ingrained in him from birth.
As much as he respected and cherished her, he did not feel that she could – or should – take care of herself, financially or physically.
Were there _two_ issues here? Her not wanting to depend on his generosity and his not treating her as an equal? Yes, she decided.
Elena felt the beginnings of a headache. Arguments were beginning to run together and stop making sense. Glancing at her watch – which Stefan had got her shortly after they left Virginia – she realized that she'd been out there for slightly more than an hour.
Philosophically, but oddly jaded, she thought, ::I'm not going to solve this tonight. It's time to get some shut-eye,:: and retraced her steps.
She slipped back into the apartment and sighed with relief when she saw Stefan slumbering peacefully. As she slid in beside him, however, he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close against his side. "You should have woken me," he murmured.
Elena turned her head to find his solemn green eyes lucent and thoughtful. She bit back a remark that she was perfectly capable of taking a walk on her own. "No, I shouldn't have," she said lightly. "You were asleep and there's no reason for both of us to stay up all night." She snuggled under the covers and closed her eyes, tacitly indicating an end to the conversation.
Sleep was not far away and she did not wonder if Stefan said anything after that.
Notes:
~ Chapter ~
::Thoughts or telepathy::
_emphasis or italics_
~ Three ~
The hinges creaked as the door swung open slowly. A wedge of light from the corridor fell on the figure huddled over a still form on the narrow cot along the wall.
The man – little more than a boy, really – twisted in his crouched position to look over his shoulder. His eyes were wide and disoriented as he stared at the person silhouetted against the light.
"Help. Help... me..." he breathed threadily.
The figure moved closer and he noted, without understanding, that it was a girl. She knelt beside him and placed a hand on the quiet body on the bed. Two small marks were stark on the white neck.
The man, whose name was Eiran, shut his eyes, but could not deny the scene before him. He was young, as such things were measured among vampires – a mere three decades. His beloved – her name was Grace – had been the light of his life for the past five years. She had known about him, of course. Had even asked to be changed so that they may live out eternity together. Eiran had steadfastly refused for a reason that now seemed all the more stupid; he did not want her to live in the shadows, as he had to.
He had been attacked by a vampire one day, changed at random for sport and left to fend for himself. He hated what he was, forced to live on other creatures, other people. He tried to go without as much as possible, starving himself to the point of being dangerous.
Now his worst nightmare had come true; wakening from the feeding frenzy to hold Grace's cold, limp body in his hands. Her eyes stared glassily at the ceiling in shock, in fear, in pain.
"No," he breathed and sobbed quietly.
"What can I do?" the unknown female asked.
"Take it away. Take it all away," he said incoherently, meaning the bloodlust, the killing, the never-ending, fear-filled, painful _need_.
"Are you sure?" she asked, dragging his awareness away from the inward swirl of agony and self-hatred and back to the mundane, physical world.
"Yes!" he screamed at her, raging.
"Very well," she said, and raising a stake he had not seen her holding, rammed it through his undead heart.
* * *
Eiran's apartment looked different with morning sunlight streaming in through the window. The ray played across the cot against the wall – now empty. Later that day, it touched the edges of a large brown stain on the floor, a remnant of the vampire's heart's final contractions. Towards evening, the light caught the simple gold circle set with a lapis lazuli that had been left on the desk.
* * *
To: bonbons, msulez
From: nightlight
Subject: What a good idea!
Date: Wed, 22 July 1992 12:45:06 -0700
Dear Bonnie, Meredith,
I've finally got myself an AOL account! Meredith, this is great! Now you can write me without us worrying about your letters getting lost in the mail! Thanks for telling us about it! (Yes, I'm excited – you can tell from the exclamation marks.)
Anyway, Stefan's fine and so am I. We just arrived in San Francisco and I think we'll stay awhile – there's so much to see! As always, how long we'll stay and where we'll go after this is anyone's guess.
Gonna go see 'Frisco now! Hear from ya!
Love,
E.
* * *
To: nightlight
From: bonbons
Subject: Re: Hiya!
Date: Thurs, 13 Sept 1992 14:05:41 -0400
Dear E (& S),
I'm writing this during media studies lab – needless to say, I'm bored out of my mind. Why am I doing this course again?
Anyway (totally ignoring that fuddy-duddy of a lecturer), how is the East Coast? Where are you now; New York? Philadelphia? Boston? Atlantic City? Oh, to be in the Big Apple right now. Well, anywhere but here.
E, remember that incredibly gorgeous guy in my graphics design class? Well, we somehow ended up sitting together in yesterday's class. His name is Ken (and if you say anything about Barbie…) Barton. He asked me out! We're going for a movie and dinner. Give you the juicy details later.
Did I tell you? I'm going to visit Kerri, my Druid cousin, again. Not quite sure when, but I'm definitely going!
Oh, good, class is over. Tty next time.
Bonns
* * *
To: nightlight
From: msulez
Subject: Settling in...
Date: Mon, 9 Nov 1992 01:25:08 -0400
Hey E.
It's been a week since I got here. I'm settling in okay. I've got a roommate here in the halls. Her name's Fiona Haydn. I haven't seen much of her - she's out all the time – so it's a little hard to tell if we get along.
Alaric's been showing me around the campus and town. There's quite a lot to do; Duke's a little busier than Boone would have been. I won't lack things to do. (wry) I do miss Bonnie, though.
Alaric will be leaving for China in a couple of weeks. Palmistry and other traditional fortune-telling abilities there.
How's Chicago? Write soon!
Meredith
* * *
To: nightlight
From: bonbons
Subject: Omigosh!
Date: Fri, 5 Feb 1993 21:30:26 -0400
Elena, omigosh! I got it! I love it! Thank you thankyouthankyou! It's _perfect_! It's wonderful, lovely, so, so great! I'm speechless! Where did you _find_ it?
Okay, breathe. I'm breathing. It's really, really out-of-this-world marvelous.
The length of the chain is _just right_. The pendant could not have fallen better if it had been custom-made. I'm going to wear it tonight with my new black spaghetti strap top. Matt's in town, so he's taking me out to dinner. I'm _sure_ he'll approve of the combination. (Wink)
Just wanted to let you know I got it and I love it! Thank you again.
Okay, I'll stop now.
Bonnie.
* * *
To: bonbons
From: nightlight
Subject: Need a favor
Date: Fri, 30 Apr 1993 02:31:00 -0400
Hey Bon,
Sorry I haven't written in a while – was getting over another case of flu. I've either developed an allergy to something all of a sudden or it's a hormonal thing; I seem to be catching the bug all the time now.
Anyway, I need a favor from you; Margaret's birthday is in two weeks. I got her some things; hair stuff, some knick knacks, a bracelet. Would you give them to her for me? How is she doing, do you know? And Aunt Judith?
E.
* * *
To: nightlight
From: msulez
Subject: (None)
Date: Tues, 18 May 1993 03:28:59 -0400
Dear E,
Alaric and I broke up tonight. There, I've said it.
Why? Well,... it just got too hard, what with him traveling all the time and me trying to handle school and having a part-time boyfriend.
We still care for each other very much. Somehow, that makes it harder, not easier. We're still good friends, when it boils down to it. But I think we both need some time on our own to put things in perspective. It's too easy right now to go beyond the bounds of friendship, when we're both so used to being more. Where to draw the line?
Anyway, I'm going to bed; all I need is to flunk out to bring the whole world crashing down around my ears. Move on, right? Keep busy? That's what people always say. Yeah, see, I'm doing okay. I'll just keep saying that. Eventually, I know, it will be true.
Thanks for listening. Talk to you some more another time.
Meredith
* * *
To: bonbons
From: nightlight
Subject: Sleepless in Seattle
Date: Sun, 6 Jun 1993 04:01:36 -0700
Hey Bonnie,
I'm rather restless tonight. Maybe I'll take a walk along the wharf. It's such a beautiful summer's night.
Have you heard from Meredith? Hope she's doing better. I wish there was something more we could do for her. Well, it's been a couple of weeks. Give her time, right? (sigh) Guess neither of us can help but worry about her.
I've been thinking lately that maybe I could do a distance learning course. Seeing new places is all good and well, but I can't be doing that for the rest of my life! I mean, I want to learn so much more, to make something of myself. Then I think, "What for?" It's not like I can build myself a career or stay long enough in a place to even take on a full-time job! And not that I need to; Stefan has enough to take care of us both for as long as necessary.
Maybe I will go for that walk now. Hope life's treating you well.
*hugs*
E.
* * *
Elena shut the laptop with a faint click that sounded clearly in the dim silence of the room. Stefan was sleeping peacefully. Elena thought that it was ironic for him, a supposed creature of night, to be sound asleep while she suffered insomnia.
Quietly, she grabbed her things and a coat and left. The building where they rented an apartment was located on the fringes of the city. It was a fifteen minute walk to the wharf, where fishing vessels came in daily to deliver fresh seafood to the city's health-conscious, affluent consumers. At this hour, the place bustled, but gently, the frenzy of activity yet to begin.
Elena paused to lean against the rail and felt the breeze off the water ruffle her hair. She had let it grow out in the past year and it now reached mid-back.
The past year had been good, she acknowledged. She and Stefan had talked as they had never done – had never had the chance to do, really – in the past. They spent endless hours getting to know each other; on the road, curled together in the dark at night, sightseeing in city after city. In the first few months, they never ran out of things to talk about. She had learned so much about Stefan; he liked Latin dancing but refused to sing a note, for example, and he couldn't stomach the smell of seaweed so sushi was a no-no.
But then, they had fallen into a routine. She found herself taking his presence – taking _him_ – for granted sometimes. What was worse was that they were increasingly insensitive and intolerant towards each other. The realization depressed her thoroughly.
The glow of first love had faded and she now realized that having a lasting relationship took a lot of work. Jokes about mundane, domestic differences breaking up relationships did not seem so funny anymore.
Oh, it wasn't the toothpaste or any other physical habits that were the trouble; it ran deeper than that.
Stefan was, at the core of his being, an aristocrat. The mystery of his source of income had been solved quickly enough.
Like many aristocrats, he didn't work; he dealt in commodities. Over his 500-odd years in the world, he had invested in items that were of little value in their time and sold them later – when they were valuable antiques. Proceeds from that were in turn invested in other ventures, which yielded returns, creating a snowball effect. Elena rather thought he might have worked, in the beginning, as a penniless, disoriented new vampire in the streets of Florence, once upon a time. Then again, she reconsidered, it was equally likely that he had gained his seed money from his early victims' coin. She pushed that thought away gingerly.
Wealth in itself was not the problem. The issue was that Elena wanted to be self-sufficient. She wanted to earn her own living, not rely on him to provide for her food and lodging – her every material need. She did not want his charity.
Was it really a matter of living off him that she objected to? No, this was a genuine need for self-actualization on her part. She remembered clearly when she'd registered the craving. They had spent the day in yet another of a hundred parks they'd been to over the past year, browsed a mall much like any other, visited a museum that held nothing remarkable. A question had emerged in her mind that evening, while they had been curled together on the couch, watching TV, "Is this how it's going to be from now on?" The prospect had frightened her more than she could have believed.
Elena Gilbert was not – and never would be – mediocre, she had sworn then.
_Stefan has enough to take care of us both for as long as necessary,_ she had told Bonnie and it as true. Stefan would gladly let her take any course or training she desired – and pay for it – it was just a diversion to him, something to pass the time, not something practical, to be put to use. Stefan _expected_ to provide for her. What was more, he expected her to accept that as a matter of course. Both were assumptions ingrained in him from birth.
As much as he respected and cherished her, he did not feel that she could – or should – take care of herself, financially or physically.
Were there _two_ issues here? Her not wanting to depend on his generosity and his not treating her as an equal? Yes, she decided.
Elena felt the beginnings of a headache. Arguments were beginning to run together and stop making sense. Glancing at her watch – which Stefan had got her shortly after they left Virginia – she realized that she'd been out there for slightly more than an hour.
Philosophically, but oddly jaded, she thought, ::I'm not going to solve this tonight. It's time to get some shut-eye,:: and retraced her steps.
She slipped back into the apartment and sighed with relief when she saw Stefan slumbering peacefully. As she slid in beside him, however, he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close against his side. "You should have woken me," he murmured.
Elena turned her head to find his solemn green eyes lucent and thoughtful. She bit back a remark that she was perfectly capable of taking a walk on her own. "No, I shouldn't have," she said lightly. "You were asleep and there's no reason for both of us to stay up all night." She snuggled under the covers and closed her eyes, tacitly indicating an end to the conversation.
Sleep was not far away and she did not wonder if Stefan said anything after that.