Discl.: I still own nothing, duh... Thanks everyone for the reviews, butesp. kursk, JenJenxx and Leentje for the continued reviews!
Thanks Chuckie for beta-ing "hugs"
Chapter 2
Before Bernadette had the time to hide herself in the bedroom to regain some power and self control, the door bell rang. Wiping away the tears from her face she opened the front door, ready to welcome their best friends.
"Hey Mrs. Atwood, here we are, we finally made it!" Seth exclaimed loudly, before Summer had a chance to comment on Bernadette's red eyes.
"And guess what? No, wait, don't, I'll tell you, ... We've got a surprise!" Seth rattled on, ignoring his wife's warning glance, dragging her and Benjamin past the door into the foyer.
Smiling wildly he opened his arms and announced: "We've invited the parents over! They'll be here in a few moments with the food."
"Ah, a famous order-in meal by Kirsten" Bernadette answered, pulling herself together and producing a slight smile. Slipping back to her role as host she hugged Seth and Summer, at least glad not to be alone with Ryan and Marissa tonight. Seth immediately left again to help his parents with the bags.
Taking Benjamin from Summer's arms she hugged the little boy tightly, running her hand through his black hair.
"How is my godson today?" she asked the baby, stroking his cheek lightly and kissing his forehead.
"How are you today?" Summer replied with a worried expression on her face.
"I'm ok... really... exhausted but ok" Bernadette answered, fighting back the tears that were again filling her eyes.
"Hey, it's ok honey..." Summer comforted her, pulling her into a hug.
"Awww... my two favourite daughters-in-law" they heard Sandy's voice and felt two strong arms embracing them. Summer immediately broke free and saved Benjamin out of Bernadette's arms before anything bad could happen.
"You look pale sweetheart, are you ok?" Kirsten asked Bernadette, following closely behind Sandy.
"Hey Sandy, Kirsten, it's good to have you here tonight" Bernadette answered, avoiding Kirsten's question.
"I'm no burro! Will you all please back off and let me bring the food to the kitchen - or I won't be responsible for what's gonna happen" Seth yelled jokingly, carrying three large bags of food.
Bernadette directed him to the kitchen and helped him place everything on the counter. To Kirsten and Sandy who had followed them into the kitchen she announced:
"The girls are upstairs, do you wanna go and say hi?"
The grandparents nodded and with one arm around each other the walked up the stairs to look for their oldest grandchildren.
"So, where's the master of the house, the oh-so-famous architect Atwood, my man Ryan?" Seth asked, trying to escape before the two women could give him some more work to do.
"Yes, Seth, I actually wanted to talk to you about Ryan..." Bernadette started in a calm voice.
"Is everything ok?" Seth interrupted her, immediately turning serious. Realising what he had just said he continued: "I mean.. I know it's not ok.. but is everything ok with Ryan?"
"I told him..." Bernadette whispered.
"Oh" Seth and Summer replied in unison, giving each other a worried glance.
"Is he here?" Seth then asked Bernadette softly.
"He's outside... He didn't wanna talk about it.. I think he's pretty upset" she answered, not able to hold back the tears any longer.
Summer silently embraced her once again, gesturing Seth to go looking for Ryan while she comforted her sister-in-law.
"Hey buddy" Seth softly greeted his foster brother while he sat down next to him.
"Hey man..." Ryan answered, not looking up.
"Tough day, huh?"
"She told you?"
"Actually we knew..." Seth confessed, giving Ryan an apologetic look.
"I really wanted to tell you but... but she insisted on following her plan..."
They sat in silence for a while before Seth continued:
"So how are you keeping up?"
"I...I don't know Seth, I really don't know what I feel..." Ryan started, angrily clenching his fists.
"I think I feel lost... All I wanted to do was to hold her, tell her that everything's going to be ok.. that we'll make it through together..." he stopped, taking a deep breath.
"But she lied to me Seth... she doesn't trust me enough to tell me that she's dying... she decides about her life or... death... without telling me one word! And a lot worse... she chooses a successor for me as my girlfriend/wife whatever... Don't you think that is sick? Did she every consider my feelings?"
Seth nodded silently before he replied:
"She did, believe me... When I talked with her, trying to convince her to tell you what's going on, she was desperate. She was convinced that you would hate her for leaving you... So she came up with the Marissa plan. I told her it's a stupid idea, but she didn't believe me. Over and over again she told me that you still have ...feelings for Marissa... She's scared, Ryan, scared of dying ...scared of leaving you alone with the kids... But not for one minute she considered an abortion. She knows that it would give her some more time with you, but there is no chance of healing, according to the doctors... Bernadette feels guilty you know, for not being able to hold on to you... So giving birth to your son is the last gift she wants to give you..."
Turning his head to look at Ryan Seth immediately realised that he was crying. Softly lying one arm around him he was reminded of the last time he had seen his best friend crying.
"Flashback"
"Right" Seth murmured somnolent when the knocking at his bedroom door grew louder. While crawling out of bed and shuffling to the door he silently cursed the person disturbing his so urgently needed sleep.
Rubbing his eyes he opened the door only to find Ryan standing outside, dressed in his Chino hooded sweatshirt, his eyes dark and desperate.
"Hey man, what's up?" Seth asked quietly, trying not to wake up the parents.
"Can we talk?"
Seth was surprised about Ryan's trembling, husky voice.
"Sure, it's" he took a look at his watch "3 am but hey, who needs sleep anyway?"
He draw aside to let Ryan enter before he softly closed the door, shuffling back to his bed and letting himself slip back under the covers with a sigh.
In the meantime Ryan had placed himself on Seth's only chair, burying his head in his hands. Not really sure what to do Seth decided to give Ryan some time.
"She's gone" Ryan finally told his brother, not looking up.
"Who is gone?" Seth asked confused.
"Marissa, I.. We had a fight, a... pretty bad fight actually... I lost her" Ryan stammered.
"You guys had fights before, you'll calm down, talk about it..."
"NO!" Ryan exclaimed, interrupting Seth, causing a puzzled expression on his face.
"This time it's different... She... she told me that she dropped out of college, that she got the offer to do some modelling... I told her to stop acting like a child and finish school first... I said some pretty mean things... I just... I couldn't tell her that ... that I don't want her to leave..."
Seth set up in bed and thought about it for a few seconds. But before he could say anything Ryan continued.
"I was mad ...because she had made this decision without talking to me... so she told me that she decides about her life, nobody else... So I told her that she might not need other people in her life then... She told me to stop looking after her, to live my own life and not to bother her anymore... in fact she told me to never talk to her again... "
"That's... that's pretty intense..." Seth answered shocked, trying to find the right words.
"What are you gonna do now?"
"I.. I don't know... I guess I have to give her time..." getting up Ryan walked over to Seth, placing himself on the edge of the bed, finally looking at his best friend.
"I love her, you know... I really do and I can't stand the idea of not talking to her ever again..." he confessed, finally letting the tears streaming down his face.
Seth was astonished, he had never before seen Ryan cry. He had always been the tougher one, the bad boy, not showing his emotions openly.
Without hesitation he reached out for his brother and placed his arm around his shoulder, squeezing it softly.
"It's gonna be ok..." he whispered.
"End of Flashback"