Howdy y'all, I'm back! Yes, to whoever asked, I am also known as fish stix satay, and this is the same story as before, I'm just continuing, as I would've liked to.

"Fowl, why did you let me eat those mushrooms?"

"Do I really need a reason, oh mighty Capitan?"

"Well, um, yes. It would be nice."

"What part of ME made YOU think I could possibly be NICE?"

"I dunno. Maybe the fact that I'm relatively nice to you should be enough."

"Sorry to burst your bubble, captain, but I'm simply not nice. Or at least not nice to you."

"I thought there might be some hidden depths to you."

"Oh, no. You've always been wrong there – I really am this shallow."

O,o "Why do I even bother?"

"I dunno. Because you're a faerie?"

O,o "AAAAARRRRGGGHH!"

"…"

"Why am I stuck in here with a stupid Mud Man who thinks I'm so tolerant with him just because I'm a freaking ELF? I ask you what I'm even doing in a stupid fic like this."

I poke my head around the door "That's not a very nice thing to say Holly. Do you have ANY idea how much TIME and EFFORT I've put into writing this fanfic, and having vaguely interesting things for you to do?"

"Don't need to get all worked up!" Shoots a pleading look at Artemis, who quite simply shrugs his shoulders and continues to examine his fingernails (they really were quite fascinating at this precise moment in time)

"YES I DO! Do you want me to leave this fic, and stop writing it for the rest of all eternity, and leave you trapped in the utmost boredom of doom?"

Artemis, sounding hopeful "Yes?"

O,o "…"

"That's it! I'm leaving! Have fun in your swirling vortex of boredom!" door slams

"FOWL YOU IDIOT!"

"Why? What did I do?"

"YOU MADE THE BLOODY AUTHOR LEAVE!"

"Oh…"

Rolls eyes towards ceiling "Pink Flamingo Girl? Please come back! It's dark and boring in here. And Artemis has resolved to poking the mop. I think his intelligence deserted him along with you."

Me, poking head through trapdoor "Really? Well good luck for you! I'm not coming back until you can make him apologise."

"Fowl?"

"What? I don't like that tone. It's scaring me."

"APOLOGISE TO HER! Idiot bloody mud boy."

"No. I'm having fun without her here."

Mulch appears apparently out of nowhere "Allo, Allo, Allo!"

"Mulch! I've never been happier to see a convict in my entire life! Actually, I never thought I'd possibly be happy to see you."

"Well, I'm here. And I'm gunner get you outta here. Come on."

"A duh ya duh ya, thank oo mulch!" Remember that Artemis is stupid right now

I come screaming back in "I LEAVE MY FANFIC FOR TWO MINUTES, AND IN COMES MULCH WITH A HALF-ARSED ESCAPE PLAN, POTENTIALLY RUINING ALL IDEAS I HAD FOR THIS FIC?"

"Well, yeah. That was my plan. Well, holly, Fowl. I'm afraid I have to leave now that the author's back. It was nice knowing ya!"

Well, that's all I'm giving you at the moment. Don't worry; I won't be placing myself in the story again. Much. Sorry it's unreasonably short for the amount of time it's taken me to write, but there's a stupid thing called school reports that got in the way. That and my mother going off her nut at my lack of completed homework. Thanks to all my wonderful reviewers (though in my opinion, I would like a few more.) I'd like another 15 reviews before the next time I update. And don't forget the random words, I'm running low on them!