Disclaimer: I do not own Shaman King, FullMetal Alchemist, the Jordan brand of shoes, or anything else that's licensed in this story.

First off I want to thank the following reviewers from the last chapter:

Stargirlwashu

Spikytriangles

SaturnMax

Tochigo

Luciado

Jen-Tao07

And cutie1789

Yes Luciado, I did get the idea of the mock funeral from Futurama. And Jen-Tao07, you never did review the alternate chapter. Now, on to the story.

As the night went by at the Funbari Onsen, Horo twisted and turned in his sleep, trying to think about how his friends would treat him after the funeral incident.

(Dream Sequence)

It was a dreary day at a cemetary. The sky was gray and seemed like it was going to rain at any minute. A burial was about to happen. The body that was about to be laid to rest: Horokeu Usui. His so called friends were there as they said their final goodbyes. Speaking was Yoh Asakura with a gold sash and crown saying "Shaman King".

"As I look back on his life, good memories come to me. But then I think of that fake funeral we had a while back, and it pisses me off. And he never really did anything other than eat and snowboard. So that's all I have to say.

Looking at his friends at the funeral they all seemed to have done something with their lives. Yoh was Shaman King, and a successful music producer and Anna turned the inn into a multi-billion dollar empire.

Chocolove became the president of Comedy Central, Ren and Jun became the richest people in the world, Manta became a dean at Harvard, Faust cured AIDS, cancer and became a Nobel prize winner, Ryu became an action movie star, known for his bokuto movies, Tamao became a world famous model, and his own sister,Pilika got married to Ren. As Yoh had said Horo really didn't do anything but eat and snowboard. As soon as Yoh's eulogy ended, he opened the floor for anybody who had anything to say.

"Anybody have anything to say? Chocolove?

"Nope"

"Tamao?"

"No"

"Ryu?"

"Nope"

"Jun?"

"No"

"Anna?"

"No"

"Faust?"

"No"

"Ren?"

"Fuck no"

"Pilika?"

"No"

"Alright then dump the body." A large dump truck soon backed up with Horo's body. The truck dumped his body into the grave, leaving his legs exposed. Everybody soon left except Ren who stayed, unzipped his pants and pissed all over the grave. A cat walked by, saw Horo's legs sticking out and said "What a waste." Then a dog comes and starts eating on his legs.

"Uhh, I still have to take a shit," said Roy Mustang, rubbing his stomach.

"AHHHHHH" Horo screamed as he woke up, huffing and puffing. Horo realized he had to do something to gain the respect of his friends back.

He next day, as the gang was watching TV on Ren's new 52-inch plasma screen.

"Oh, I wonder if dress is making boys horny right now." said Jun referring to the remark Horo made at the funeral.

"Oh, I bet me and Eliza are getting to lovie-dovie for you."

"Yeah, and I bet my jokes are too corny for you."

"Chocolove, your jokes are too corny for all of us." Ryu replied. The group nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, I deserved all that. The other day I acted like an idiot, a jackass, and a jerk. I want to ask you guys for forgiveness for the other day." Horo pleaded to the guys.

"You always act like an idiot and a jackass, being a jerk is what you should be asking forgiveness for." Ren said

"Horo, the other day you hurt many peoples feelings the other day, including mine. It's not going to be that easy to get forgiveness," said Pilika.

"I know that's why---wait a minute what is he still doing here?" asked Horo as he was pointing at Roy Mustang. He wasn't wearing that military suit he normally wears. Instead he wore sort of a hip-hop style, a long white t-shirt that went passed his elbows and his crotch, large, baggy, Sean John dark blue jeans that hung of his ass and crumpled at his ankles, and a pair of $175 dollar Air Jordan 20's($190 something including tax, about how much I paid for mine) and a black New Era Yankees cap. (The outfit I had on as I typed this.) Anna quickly looked over and asked Roy, "What are you still doing here."

Soon everyone looked over at Roy, waiting for his answer. Roy replied, "Me and my ride back home, Riza, got into an argument. She called me an idiot, I called her a bitch, she started shooting at me with an AK-47, and now I'm stuck here. Can I stay here for a minute?" Anna thought about for a moment and told him "Yes, you may. But you're going to have to do a lot, and I mean a lot of work. As a matter of fact get started cleaning the gutters."

"What! Why am I listening to you little girl, I'm a grown ass man."

"Because if you don't, I will make you suffer and that's a promise." Anna said, giving Roy her infamous, cold eyes look. Roy however played her off and said, "Whatever. I wonder what the guys are doing without me?"

(In the FMA world)

"What happened to Col. Mustang, I thought you were supposed to pick him up," Havoc asked Hawkeye.

"Somehow, I missed him," said Hawkeye

"You drove right past him."

"I missed him in front of a little Japanese inn." Hawkeye replied as she loaded up her favorite gun. Her fellow officers around her backed up in fear.

"You tried to kill Col.Mustang?" asked Fury.

(back to the Shaman King world)

"Listen, you're either going to do chores to earn your keep, or pay Me." said Anna

"Fine, here's three thousand dollars, leave me alone." said Roy as he pulled out a big wad of money and handed it to Anna. Anna stood there surprised as she counted the money. It was all there, all three thousand of it. All Anna could say was

"Uhh okay. I guess you're excused then."

"As I was saying, I know it isn't going to be easy to get your forgiveness, so I came up with a way that you guys should like. I am going to do whatever you want to do. Anything."

Jaws dropped in disbelief, but it was more over Roy paying Anna off.

"What! All I had to do get out of doing work was to pay you." Ren screamed. "I could have done that months ago."

"Hey people, I said, I would do anything you guys want." said Horo.

"Enough of that crap, Boro Boro, we have bigger fish to fry." Ren said.

"You would really do any thing we want?" asked Yoh.

"Seriously. I would do anything you guys want. Here's the catch."

"Damn, I was hoping he wasn't smart enough to think of any catches." Said Ren.

"The catch is I'll only do it for thirty minutes, its only for people who were a the funeral. Sorry Lyserg.

"Awww." moaned Lyserg.

"Where the fuck did you come from?" Ren asked Lyserg.

"Don't you dare talk to my dear Lyserg like that," Said Ryu.

"I really don't know. I was sleeping at my house and some how I woke up on you guys lawn."

"Okay. Now that's weird," said Manta.

"Oh, yeah no spirits."

"Awww." moaned the spirits.

"What. Only thirty minutes. What the hell is that? I was expecting a lifetime. What good are you for only thirty minutes." exclaimed Ren.

"Well for one thing you canmake a fool out of me."

The group thought about it for a moment. Thirty minutes wasn't a long time, but you could make him do some good things. So the group agreed to Horo's terms.

The next day, Horo came in to the room with a bowl of names on little pieces of paper. Whichever one he drew out would get the first thirty minutes. He reached in the bowl and drew his first name: Ryu.

"What do you want me to do?" asked Horo.

"I want you to go to the hotel where the Lily 5 are staying go into their room, and steal Elly's panties. Oh not just any of them, the pink one's that say Doggie wants a bone in the front." commanded Ryu.

Okay folks I'm done with the second chapter. Please review.

Line of the day: First I'm goin stack my flow, then I'm goin stack some more, close shop when I do my count, hide thres of my yams at my aunties house.- Young Jeezy's "And then what" from the Thug Motivation 101 album