Discl. as usual, hi Josh! wave

THANK YOU! Yes, all of you reviewers and readers out there, I love you! My thank you's go to DeuCe628, The-OC-roxmysox, Leentje, kursk, MalibuBarbie253, Rainygal, b2little, I-Believe-In-The-Butterflies (J), Maddy-Sparkles, Tigercrystal, Kym, PrincessOats42, wishinonastar, GalootMaster. Enjoy….

Chapter 16

Colin was on tenterhooks after he had called his mum, waiting for Ryan to return. Although he only knew Ryan for a few days he had been aware of the concern in Seth's voice, when talking about his brother; and the way Ryan had looked today let Colin fear the worst. He had seen awful things in his young life, drug addicted models, burned out designers and swamped agents, so he definitely knew the glance in Ryan's eyes. When the adult didn't show up on his bed for 15 minutes, the boy got anxious, fearing that Ryan had taken off. Grabbing his clothes, he slowly dressed himself, struggling with his bandaged hand.

Pulling away the curtain he then tried to make out the adult within the people in the room, but he couldn't spot Ryan anywhere. Deciding that his mum would probably not turn up for the next few minutes, he walked out of the room, looking around, trying to find out where the coffee machine could be placed.

He seemed to be looking quite lost, as a nurse came up to him, asking:

"Can I help you kid?"

"Yeah, I'm looking for the coffee machine?"

Raising her eyebrow suspiciously the woman asked:

"Aren't you a little bit young for coffee?"

"I'm looking for… a friend, he wanted to grab a coffee" Colin explained irritated, not liking when strange people were all overprotective, too interested in his personal life.

"Oh, ok… Go down the hall, turn left and then you will see it" the nurse repeated, sweetly smiling at him as she walked away.

Colin nodded thankfully and started walking down the hall. When he turned around the corner he stopped dead in track, catching sight of his mum and Ryan sitting next to each other, talking in low voices. His heart beat quickened instantly, not sure if he was happy to see that his mum had met his new best friend. Slowly making his way to the two adults he tried to sort the thoughts racing through his mind, forming any proper words to say.

"Mum…."

Ryan and Marissa flinched visibly, jumping off their chairs at the voice of Colin.

"Colin" both exclaimed, surprised to see the boy out of bed.

"Mum!" Ryan then nearly screamed,horror-stricken looking forth and back from Marissa to Colin.

"Yes, Ryan, Marissa Cooper is my mum….you probably know her from television" Colin explained, not understanding why the two adults had been talking. The model, first slightly confused that Colin knew Ryan, was soon aware of what was happening, her mind racing, knowing that her secret was out, trying to find a way to keep Ryan from freaking out.

Ryan didn't say anything but raised his gaze to meet Marissa's, his own eyes wide open in shock, his mind absorbing what he just had heard. Seeing the guilty look on the model's face, the fear in her eyes, calculating Colin's age with the years they have been apart, the realisation drowned into his brain, his mouth getting dry. Returning his look to the boy, Ryan finally recognised, what his mind had been blocking out, what he maybe wasn't meant to see: the sparkling blue eyes, the sandy hair, the way Colin talked…..

Marissa wordlessly took Ryan's hand, desperate to keep him from running away, her eyes pleading for him to forgive her, to let her explain.

"I'm sorry Ryan…"

"Sorry for what mum?" Colin finally asked, glancing up to the two adults, still not understanding what was going on between them.

"But how… Why… my God…." Ryan stammered, slowly shaking his head before taking a step back, pulling his hand out of hers with a hurt look in his eyes, letting himself heavily plop onto the chair, burying his head in his hands.

"What's going on mum?" Colin asked scared.

Sitting down next to Ryan, Marissa pulled her son close, gently hugging him, running her hand through his hair, letting him settle down on her lap. Struggling with the weight of the boy, she turned her head to look at Ryan, trying to find out if he was ready to hear what she was about to say. When he didn't look up, she turned back to her boy, asking him:

"Honey… where do you know Ryan from?"

"We met at the pier… about a week ago… he helped me with some guys…"

Glancing over at Ryan, Colin tried to find out what was wrong with his friend, as the adults head remained buried in his hands, his dropped shoulders and his deep breaths scaring the boy.

"And?"

Turning his attention back to his mum, Colin continued:

"He told me I could call him whenever I needed to talk… he's a really good friend mum… we just talked… and he introduced me to Seth… What is going on?"

"Sweetie… Remember how you have been asking me about your Dad all these years?"

"Yes?" the boy replied, gulping hardly, too nervous to think about anything else to say, sensing that his mum was finally ready to share the information he had been waiting for years.

"Well… it's Ryan honey…. Ryan's your Dad…"

The shocked and hurt expression in Colin's eyes told Marissa everything. He jumped off her lap, taking a few steps back from the adults, shaking his head in disbelieve.

"I thought… I really thought you were my friend" he finally yelled towards Ryan, who lifted his head at the outburst of the boy, pain and unshed tears visible in his eyes.

"How could you do that to me? After I told you how I felt about my Dad?" Colin continued, his eyes narrowed at the sight of his parents, which he now knew, had been lying to him since he was born.

"I didn't know… you must believe me Colin, I didn't know…." Ryan managed to tell his son, pleadingly looking at him, trying to express his apology for not realising, for not jumping at the clues laying openly before his eyes.

"I don't believe you! You're exactly as the other guys mum was dating, useless! I wished for you to be my Dad, but now I'm not sure if I ever want to see you again…." the boy finished bitterly, before taking off, running down the hall.

Jumping off the bench, the two adults followed him instantly, but after turning around the next corner, he had already disappeared.

Looking at Marissa who was standing next to him, Ryan sighed, unsure of what to do now. She gave him an uncertain glance, noticing the confusion and reluctance in his eyes, immediately feeling guilty for putting him into this situation in this already troubled time.

Both adults flinched, when Marissa's cell phone started ringing aggressively in her bag.

"Seth?" the model answered quickly.

"Missing someone?"

"You found Colin?"

"You found Ryan?"

"Yep… he knows…"

"Yeah, so I figured at the stream of words escaping your son's mouth, between the colourful curses of course, as a reaction to me stopping him" Seth smirked.

"Listen, you talk to Ryan while I try to talk to Colin, maybe he trusts me more than the two of you at the moment" the graphic artist continued, for once being the voice of reason.

"Yeah, that's probably best, I'll call you"

"Right, take good care of him, he's really shaken, ok?" Seth said concerned before ending the call.

Looking at the furious Colin and a stunned Sandy, Seth decided to guide them to the cafeteria, where he instructed his Dad to organise something to drink.

When he had placed the fuming boy at a table, he sat down vis-à-vis, questioningly looking at Colin.

"You knew, didn't you?" Ryan's son asked, tears dancing in his eyes.

"Yep… since I first met you, which was actually yesterday…. Unbelievable what happened within the last 24 hours…."

Seth's voice was bitter, sadness visible in his eyes.

"I'm sorry about Ryan's wife…"

"Don't tell me… tell Ryan… he also lost his son, you know?" Seth asked his new nephew, intensively looking at him.

Ignoring the accusing and advising undertone in Seth's voice, Colin asked:

"Why didn't you tell him?"

Seth realised that Colin was slowly shaking off his anger, trying to understand his father's situation and the decisions everyone had made.

"Because he's my brother… and brother's take care of each other… With a dying wife, a baby to be born, the outlook of becoming a widower and single Dad, the last Ryan needed was more trouble. I know you're not trouble, you're a lovely boy and he really likes you. But matters with your mum are as confusing as they have always been. Only God himself understands their relationship" Seth sighed, remembering the past days, when the outsider and the homecoming queen of Newport had started dating.

He was interrupted in his thoughts, when Sandy rejoined them, placing a coke in front of them.

"Son, somebody's got to fill me in on what's happening here" Sandy demanded, looking at Seth and then glancing over to Colin.

"Colin, this is my Dad, Sandy Cohen… Dad, this is Marissa's son Colin" Seth introduced, leaving the fun part out, wondering as to whether Sandy would figure things out himself.

The lawyer gave his son a surprised look before he reached out to shake the boy's hand, smiling at him. It wasn't until Colin opened his mouth to say "Nice to meet you Mr. Cohen" that Sandy's eyes widened, his gaze returning to meet his son's eyes.

"You gotta be kidding me…."

"Nope, I'm not… unbelievable, isn't it! Imagine Ryan coincidentally meeting Colin, making friends with him, hanging out, even introducing him to me but not realising what's going on…"

"And here I was always thinking that he's the smarter of you two" Sandy smirked, following the Cohen tradition of making jokes about shocking events to absorb the news...

After ending her call with Seth, Marissa turned around to look at her ex-boyfriend, who was leaning against the wall, having followed their discussion, fully taken aback by the latest turn of events, not knowing what to do or what to say next.

"Talk?" Marissa asked carefully, hoping he would not just turn around and ran out on her like her son had done a few minutes ago.

"You talk… I listen…" Ryan nodded, directing her out of the hospital, desperate to leave the depressing smell and people behind him, taking a deep breath, trying to shake the memories of the last two days off.

They walked over to the small park nearby, placing themselves on a bench, absorbing what had happened a few minutes ago, realising that their relationship had again changed in an instant.

Marissa's mind was racing again, quickly judging her ideas, balancing thoughts of how to start, what to tell the father of her only child, who happened to be love of her life.

"I made a lot of mistakes in my life Ryan" finally Marissa began, directly looking at the architect.

"But having Colin was definitely the best decision ever. He's such a good boy, my best friend even, smart, clever… and so much like you…."

When Ryan didn't react, but kept starting at the tree in front of them, Marissa continued, her voice getting lower, nervously playing with her fingers.

"When I realised that I was pregnant, we had been broken up for a few weeks. I knew, if I'd get in contact with you, you would decide to support me all the way through, like you wanted to with Theresa. But I didn't want your support… I didn't want us to end up like you and Theresa. You would have been with me because of the baby, but I wanted you to be with me because we love each other…."

At this last words Ryan turned his head, giving her a quick glance, trying to find out why she was using present tense. Marissa held his look, showing him that she was serious.

The moment lasted only a few seconds, but the model could swear that she had seen hope in Ryan's dark, empty eyes.

"When Summer told me that you were getting married, I wanted to tell you, letting you know that you had a son, coming forward about my feelings. But I knew that you would have never forgiven me for not telling you earlier…. for once again messing up your life. You would have meant to save me … But I didn't need to be saved Ryan, the only thing I needed and wanted over all those years, back from day one when I met you on Sandy's driveway, was your love…"

Marissa could see Ryan gulping, before he jumped up. Starting to pace between the bench and the tree he head been staring at.

"We've always had the worst timing…" the architect finally muttered, reluctantly rising his head and quickly glancing at the model.

"I still can't believe how I could possibly be this blind…"

"You had no idea…. And you had other problems occupying your mind…. Don't judge yourself too hard Ryan" Marissa soothed softly, knowing that he was questioning himself.

"We connected from the moment we met… like we unconsciously knew that we're related… he IS a good boy… he's the son I always wanted…. But that's not the point…"

Ryan stopped and intensively looked at the model.

"The point is that my son died… my wife died… that I've got a daughter to take care of… an ex-girlfriend who claims to still love me… and now suddenly a son who's disappointed in me and probably hates me for not being around for the first 12 years of his life… I just can't breathe anymore Marissa, my head is spinning and honestly, all I want right now is a quick solution, to bring peace to my mind, my heart…."

A/N: Yes, I'm back from my holidays and my life is pretty f at the moment, stress at work and just generally no time for anything… So… I HOPE to have the next chapter within a week, I predict Wednesday or Thursday next week, not guaranteed though… sorry guys!