This is a story on how Peanuts were created...and how they came to be Peanut Butter...
In a deep dark cave, one long and stormy night (I know usually stories start with a 'Bright and sunny day' or 'once upon a time', so I decided to be different! Haha!) okay...maybe not a cave...but you know, close enough...it looked like one,...all dark and creepy looking,...but anyways...
It was raining. Hard...like in Washington...and Thunder was heard miles away, and lightning bolted throughout the land-or was it lightning was head miles away, and thunder bolted throughout the land? I get them mixed up...back on topic...
There was a man in a black lab coat-I was wondering that if they have white lab coats, can't they be various colors?- he was wearing dark goggles, and a string tied his long black hair away from his face. His brow was covered in sweat, and his face in deep concentration, and frowning.
After a few hours-wouldn't he be a little tired from standing?-a yell was heard throughout the house...er...cave...and another man that was sitting in front of the TV focusing on the game he was playing (Mortal Combat xD) was startled. He was startled so much that he dropped his controller and bit his tongue, that happened to be sticking out of his mouth, while he was jumping up and down, trying to kill fiends. He looked over towards the direction from where he heard the cry, game momentarily forgotten.
"What the-" Just as he was about to ask the air what had happened, The man in the black lab coat came storming out of one of the only two rooms in the cavehouse.
"I'VE FOUND IT!" he cried. Running around in circles, and jumping over the couch, the only piece of furniture in the house, aside from the beds, of course, and skipping around the rundown place.
After a while of watching the man running around, and looking like an idiot, the gamer picked up his controller and resumed playing, disappointed that he had died.
When the man skipped in front of the television, his foot caught on the wire, and he tripped.
"Ow..." He said...calming down a little...or not...
"Dude...you killed me...again...Jeeze dad..."
"Sorry, Seph...I just," he sat up, bouncing on his butt, not being able to sit still. Seph noticed that his father's goggles had fallen off his head, and were lying on the ground three feet from him. "I just," he repeated, bouncing even faster, "I JUST MADE A NEW FOOD!"
"Say wha?"
"Look!" He pulled from his pocket...yes...they have pockets in that dark, creepy, lab coat. What he held between his index finger and thumb was a small little nut-looking-thing (Me likes hyphins! xDD) it was smaller in the middle as it was on the ends.
"...What's that?" Sephiroth asked...unsure of how to react.
"This..." He said, calmling down, "Is a ...PEANUT! I SHALL CALL THIS, by the powers vested in me, A PEANUT!"
"...okay..so the 'mad-scientist-Vincent Valentine' has created something...what of it?"
"Try it!" He said holding his hand out towards Seph. The silver haired man looked at the nut quizzically. "Don't worry! It won't bite..." Vincent found that it wasn't helping much at all...so he decided to try something else. "TRY THIS PEANUT YOU FREAK!" He calmed down, "I'm sorry...here." Vincent stood up, and walked towards his son. He broke the outer shell of the nut, to reveal two smaller looking nuts, and let them sit in his palm, "There,...does that look more edible?"
"Not really..."
Vincent grabbed the nuts and and with his other hand, grabbed Seph's long silver hair. He yanked the hair down, forcing Sephiroth to look at the ceiling, and he shoved the nuts into his sons mouth. He then let go of Seph's hair, and with both hands, clamped his mouth shut, "EAT IT!" he yelled(...wow...Vinc yelles...hehe...)
Sephiroth complied, and after some chewing, his eyes brightened up, and he swallowed.
"Good?" Vincent asked. Sephiroth nodded.
"Wow, dad...that's good! Really good!"
"Good, 'cause I want to try them now..."
Sephiroth was alarmed at this, "You made me try the peanut without first trying it yourself?"
"Of course...'cause then I wouldn't die if it was faulty..."
"But then I would die!"
There was an awkward silence. A low cricket sound came sounding through the wall...things...
"Where'd the crickets come from?" Seph asked looking around.
"No where...but back on topic."
And the author is getting tired of just a two person story, so she decided to add a little humor! okay...a litte MORE humor! and stupidity!
"Hey..." The two men turned to see a blond spiky haired freak, I mean, kid...named Cloud Strife...what an odd name...
"Strife? What are you doing here?"
"Well, I was in the neighborhood, and decided to say hi, and the front door was open, so I let myself in..."
"We don't have a front door."
"You don't? then what did I walk in?"
"I dunno...how'd you get here?"
"Fenrir...I said I was in the neighborhood and decided to say hi...what's wrong with that?"
"What neighborhood?"
More crickets filled up the silence.
"Whoa! Where'd the crickets come from!" Cloud looked around the...house?
"Don't change the subject!" Sephiroth yelled slightly. Vincent snickered at this, seeing that his son had done the exact same thing. "So why were you in the...so called 'neighborhood'?"
"I dunno..."
"You can just admit that you were lost, and needed to get directions from someone, and just happened to walk into /our/ house."
"...whoa Sephiroth! You're good! How'd you know?"
"'Cause I did...and I'm skilled like that..."
"Oh...so what's up?"
"PEANUTS! TRY SOME!" The silent Vincent, he was no longer, dug into his pockets and pulled out more of the nuts, and threw two at Cloud. "EAT!" He yelled.
Cloud caught one, and opened the shell. He popped them into his mouth, afraid of what would happen if he didn't. After the first chew, his eyes widened, and he grabbed more of the shells that were on the ground around him, and started to /inhale/ them.
"I knew they were good!" Vincent cried, running back into his lab that doubles as his room, due to the lack of room in the cave.
"I never knew we lived in a neighborhood." Sephiroth said after Vincent left, and Cloud was picking up all of the peanut shells he had discarded while eating the nut.
"...someone's a little slow, aren't they?"
Sephiroth didn't hear him, but if he did, he wouldda punched him, in the face. "Hey, Strife, wanna play?" Sephiroth held up a controller that was connected to Seph's system.
"Why not?" He sat down next to Sephiroth and started to play some co-op game.
After a half an hour, Vincent slammed the door open, and started Cloud and Sephiroth so much, they fell off of the couch.
"GUYS! I FOUND A WAY TO MAKE IT IN A SANDWICH!" Vincent yelled in a singsong-y voice.
"How?"Sephiroth asked, wondering where the ringing in his ear had come from.
Vincent held up two slices of bread, with some brown cream-like stuff in the middle. "Behold! The peanut butter sandwich! And Jelly too! Peanut butter and jelly sandwich!" He tossed the sandwich to Sephiroth, and grabbed another, and tossed it to Cloud, and pulled out a third for himself. There was silence, as they all tasted the new food. Except for the ringing that was still in Seph's ears that is...
After the first bit, all three of them gobbled down the sandwich in an instant.
"Delicious"
"Absolutely"
"Ah...yes..."
After a few weeks, Vincent had continued to make jars to contain all of the peanut butter he was making, and their once empty pantry-except for the residence of the spiders-was now full of peanut butter, jelly, and sandwiches.
Vincent had gone creative with his peanut butter. He made them 'Creamy' 'Extra creamy' 'Chunky' and 'Extra Chunky'.
One day...
"Seph...where my peanuts?" Vincent asked, still in his lab coat, and his goggles on his neck.
"What peanuts? I don't know what you are talking about. Now let me play in peace." Sephiroth waved his father away from the system. As he did so, some peanuts fell from his sleeve, onto the ground. However, he didn't know it.
Vincent looked at the peanuts, and crouched down to pick them up. "Sephiroth?"
"Yea?"
"You're grounded."
Sephiroth pressed the pause button, and looked up. "Why?" he asked, "What for?"
"One, for stealing my peanuts, two, for shooing me away from your game...you know you can't just do that to your father."
"But dad...I-"
"You're grounded again."
"What!"
"End of discussion." Vincent said as he walked away towards the peanut butter infested pantry.