Authors Note: When I opened my e-mail and found seventeen reviews I couldn't stop smiling for half an hour or so... I LOVE you guys! To all my reviewers a big hug! Thank you Lady Samurai (for commenting on every chapter!), carbuncle021, Gippal the Pimp (even though I can't really tell if you like the fic or not... thanks all the same!), Queen of the Insects (for being with me since the very begining), Lack Thereof (also for being with me since the begining), chocoholic freak, Kanilla-Master of Fluff (geez your name is hard to write, I always forget where the hypens and the capitals go so I have to check fifteen times. A big thank you to you also for being with me), ARandomKid, Jenni's Heart of Gold (yes, I hope that this will end up as a Riku/Sora yaoi), and Shounen-ai no Senshi. Did I already say that I love you guys? And... don't get upset if you didn't get a parenthesi...e...i? thing, it's because I'm feeling a bit brain-dead right now and can't think of cool things to write...
Erm... This chapter turned out a bit longer then usual... sorry about that... But the next chapter will be shorter so I hope it'll be okay...

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, but I own the story, so read and enjoy but please do not take.

Summary: One day a man in a wet shirt and leather pants shows up on Sora's doorstep. So, Sora gets a roommate, a young artist named Riku who turns out to be the most charming person person he has ever met. So charming, infact, that he proceeds to charm the clothes right off of all of Sora's friends. But that's okay, because Sora doesn't know. Yet.

Riku was taking a shower. And then he heard voices. Again. They cornered him in the shower AGAIN! Only this time he had been cornered by people who were much worse than Kairi. And much older. But not less attractive. Riku had to get his looks from someone. Yes, the people who had just entered the apartment were(1) Riku's parents.

"Hello? Are you Riku's parents? Welc-"

"Shut your mouth, monkey-boy! Where is my baby, where is Riku?" came the screeching voice of Riku's mother from the living room.

"Calm down, Angina, I'm sure that he's around here somewhere," came the rich, deep, and smooth voice of Riku's father (2). Riku would not say that the voice was sexy because since the voice belonged to his father, admitting the sexiness of said voice might be considered wrong and somehow inappropriate. But a fact does not need to be stated to be a fact. Riku's father has a very, very sexy voice (3).

"No I will not calm down! My... Oh alright, our! poor baby missed the banquet, what if something terrible happened to him?"

Well, thought Riku, nothing terrible had happened to have kept him away from the banquet. He had, infact, had a wonderful evening a couple of times over. Unfortunately for him, he knew that something terrible would soon happen to him that would negate the numerous hours spent with Sora's charming and very pliable girlfriend. That is, of course, if he couldn't find a way to escape.

Riku's gaze once again fell on the window. Yes, it was true that the window was on the fifth floor. It was also true that there was a tree right outside of the window. Well. Not right outside the window, but close enough that it was not necessarily life threatening for Riku to climb out of the window and into the tree. Which is what he did. Which was a very admirable and challenging task because Riku had only a small towel with which to cover himself.

Fortunately for Riku, one of the few fortunate things that would happen to him today, he was a pro. He was a pro at all types of things, and in his life he had often climbed out of fifth story windows wearing only a hand towel, and even more often wearing less than a hand towel.

He managed to climb down the tree without exposing anything more than necessary, to the great disappointment of the staring girl with the two toddlers who were trying to rip off her ears.

Once Riku was on solid ground once again, he retied his towel, brushed himself off, and got ready to make his prompt escape from Sora's apartment complete. And then his parents walked out the door to the building.

Riku's mother, Angina, stopped and stared. She was a beautiful woman, with pretty blond hair falling softly into her pretty blue eyes. She was wearing a slinky blue dress that managed to fully show off her (still very attractive) figure. But Riku's father, Sephiroth, was much more beautiful than even his beautiful wife. He had waist-long unnaturally shiny and unnaturally silver hair which happened to be all natural, in addition to a pale visage and delicate features. Just from looking at him a person could tell that something as mundane as temperature would not even dare to bother a great man like Sephiroth. In the 80 degree sunny weather of outside he was wearing a black sweater and a black leather jacket. He also stopped but he did not stare. Staring was beneath him. Instead he said, "Riku, what happened to your clothes?"

Riku shrugged. "You know how it is."

Sephiroth favored Riku with a slight nod. Yes, he did know.

"Riku!" exclaimed Angina.

"Hi, mom," said Riku.

"Riku! You weren't at the banquet!"

"Um...no. You see..."

"Riku! You weren't at the banquet! You knew how important it was, and you just- you just-"

Sephiroth put a hand on Angina's shoulder and pulled her to him as if he were reigning in an unruly dog. "Why don't we hear our lovely son out," said Sephiroth with the unfeeling grace of an icicle. Angina instantly quieted down and limited herself to throwing angry glances at Riku.

"Yeah, well, what happened was..." Riku paused and scratched his ear. He was trying to come up with a lie, usually an easy task for him, but his mother's gaze had the effect of erasing his mind. So he looked at his dad. Sephiroth rolled his eyes. Sephiroth made sure that Angina wasn't watching and then mimicked throwing up. Very gracefully, of course; Sephiroth was always graceful. If he suddenly decided to roll around in the mud (he wouldn't, but for the purpose of this hypothetical situation he will) he would look more graceful then an Olympic ice skater on the ice (4).

"Yeah! I was- I was sick. Terribly sick," said Riku. Sephiroth grabbed his own throat and acted like he couldn't breathe. "And... and I had a terrible cough! I could barely breathe, I could barely move!" Riku continued. Angina narrowed her eyes and hastily turned around. Only to find Sephiroth staring back at her with a bored expression. She turned back to Riku, her suspicions now gone.

"Oh, you poor baby!" She put a hand on Riku's forehead. "Well, I'm so glad that you're okay now! That's all we wanted to know, whether you didn't come because you were sick or something..." She patted Riku on the shoulder, then kissed him on the cheek. "Well, I'm glad that you're alright, honey," she smiled. "I'm sure that you felt bad for not coming, but it's alright! We're throwing another party next week, you can even bring the monkey-boy and his friends!"

Riku got a little green. "Sure mom, I'd love to."

"Alright, let's go, love," she said to Sephiroth.

"Good bye, son," said Sephiroth. He started to walk off, but then turned back. "I hope the one you missed the banquet for was good in bed, Riku. You're attractive enough not to settle for second best." And then Sephiroth left with his wife. Riku had always known that his father was psychic. In addition to grossly inappropriate.

(1) they're not dead, by the way, they're still alive (in a manner of speaking), it's just that I have to be consistent with the tenses... I don't know why, I just do... stupid rules!

(2) Yes, I'm sure we are all sensing the obsession

(3) And here we see me abandon all attempts at proper grammar. Because Riku's dad is hot. Oh so HOTT! (notice, he's worthy of the double t's)

(4) Saddly enough, this is the only analogy I was able to come up with

Authors Note: well... there it is... I'm sorry that Riku's not so badass in this chapter... His badass-ness is just eclipsed by Sephiroth's badass-ness. But I assure you that Riku will be his regular self in the next chapter :)

Next Chapter: Sora makes an abrupt exit