Disclaimer: Do not own SSBM or Tylenol. If I did, then would I be here typing on my cheap computer instead of swimming in money? I wish I were rich…

A/N: I'd just like to thank every single reviewer for reviewing me. You're so nice! I LOVE YOU GUYS! (Hugs you so hard that you die) (Notices you died) EVERYTHING I TOUCH DIES! (Cries)

"GET TO THE FLOOR AND GIVE ME 1,000,000,000,000 YOU MAGGOTS!" The gym teacher roared into Link's ear. Link screamed and fainted. Silence floated in the atmosphere until Samus broke the silence.

"Nice…" Samus said sarcastically rolling her eyes and crossing her arms. The gym teacher got a blanket and wrapped Link's body in it. He pulled it into a closet and slammed the door.

"That never happened! NOW GIVE ME THOSE PUSH-UPS YOU LAZY BUMS!" Mr. Payne barked with veins forming around his eyes and bulging under his skin. The smashers flinched and got to the floor.

1,000,000… uh… whatever push-ups later…

Everyone is still on the floor but dying from exhaustion. Kirby takes out his puffers and starts using them while Samus was clawing at the ground moaning for water. Captain Falcon was hyperventilating and the Mario bros. passed out. The others were still trying to make the final touches but they were all groaning and didn't even bother with it. The gym teacher walked into the center of the room, stepping on Marth and Roy on the way.

"OK that's enough! Now we're going to play a classic sport that my gang and I used to play! It's called…"

"Please not dodge ball, please not dodge ball, please not dodge ball, please not dodge ball…" Fox pleaded silently with his hands clasped together and his eyes closed, obviously praying to God.

"Football!" The coach shouted, grabbing a cap and winter coat. "Outside!"

"DODGE BALL COULD'VE BEEN SO MUCH BETTER THAN THIS!" Fox cried to the sky.

"Mr. Cramp, sir, I'd like to say that IT'S FRIKKIN' FREEZING OUTSIDE! WE CAN'T GO OUT THERE! WE'LL FREEZE TO DEATH! I should know I'm a doctor." Dr. Mario advised. Mr. Cramp rolled his eyes.

"A doctor is the last thing we need. Now… GET MOVING YA SLACKERS!"

"SIR, YES, SIR!" Everyone shouted before saluting and running out.

Outside in the -50 degree snowy weather…

"SIR, I THINK I'M DYING OF HYPOTHERMIA!" Falco shouted, rubbing his arms desperately to fetch at least a bit of warmth.

"AND MY MANICURE IS RUINED!" Zelda screeched, staring at her broken nail.

"OH, BOOHOO! WHY DON'T YOU FRET ABOUT THE THINGS THAT MATTER IN LIFE LIKE… oh I don't know, your FRIGGIN' HEALTH!" Samus snapped, shivering in the cold.

"OH AND MY MANICURE ISN'T IMPORTANT?" Zelda snapped back turning to Samus.

"NO, YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY? BECAUSE MANICURES DON'T KEEP YOU ALIVE!" Samus spat with her eyes that probably flashed red from anger and frustration. They glared at each other with hate until Zelda answered in a simple tone.

"Yes, they do." Samus suddenly heard something snap in her head- Zelda's neck. Samus was about to blast her away until she was hit by a football.

"Uh… FORE!" Marth exclaimed from the background. Mewtwo grabbed the ball with his powers and shot it at Captain Falcon freezing face.

"OH GOD, MY FACE!" Captain Falcon snapped covering his face and sinking to his knees, screaming like a sissy.

"Damn it Falcon, you were supposed to catch it!" Mewtwo snarled.

"STOP BEING SISSIES, YOU SISSIES! YOU GOT TO TAKE THE COLD LIKE A MAN!" Then the coach, who was probably in 30 layers of clothing, spotted Samus, Zelda and Peach leaving for the door. "OR LADY!"

"My God…"

"My father will here about this!"

"MY MANICURE IS DYING!"

"Anyway," The coach began again. "WE USED TO WALK IN THE SNOW AND RAIN AND WE WEREN'T ALLOWED TO COMPLAIN! NOT IN THE ARMY! HELL, WE WEREN'T ALLOWED TO EVEN OPEN OUR MOUTHES ONCE IN THE ARMY! NO NEED TO ANYWAY! ALL WE WERE OBLIGATED TO DO WAS FIGHT UNTIL THE ENEMY LOST! NOW GET MOVING OR I'LL MAKE YOU MOVE!" Mr. Payne barked like a bulldog as everyone whimpered with hesitation and kept moving.

Much tackling and hypothermia later…

Everyone is on the football field dying from the cold and frostbite.

"Can't… move… legs… must… crawl… for… shelter…" Marth groaned before passing out. Samus, Captain Falcon, Fox, Falco, Pikachu and Pichu were shivering like crazy while all the rest were literally turned to ice. Samus couldn't take it anymore and she snapped.

"COACH, WE CAN'T PLAY ANYMORE! WE'RE TIRED, WE'RE PARALYZED AND WE'RE FRIGGIN' FREEZING!"

"Yeah, Mr. P, we can't play anymore! We can't play good if you're going for the abusing-of-labor stuff!" Falco agreed, still frantically rubbing himself, in desperate need for warmth. Before Mr. Payne can even answer the bell rang and everybody (excluding the people turned to ice) started to scream with joy. They all ran in and the icicle people shuffled to the door before the coach could order them to hit the showers.

Next class: Foreign languages… (WARNING: WILL have VERY SHITTY PRONUNCIATIONS! You have been stupidly warned…)