Chapter 29 – Dear Abby

Disclaimer: Lyrics "No Regrets" belong to Robbie Williams.

"Lets put some music on," Abby said, leaning over pressing the button on the radio in Susan's car.

"You are listening to Radio FX We have the weather report, tonight's temperate is going to be 30 degrees, we have a high risk of sleeting, so stay well wrapped up"

"Oh? It looks like I'm gonna have to get my sexy thermals out tonight," Susan laughed gripping on the steering wheel.

"The next track I am going to play is 'No Regrets' by Robbie Williams, a huge star over the other side of the Atlantic"

Tell me a story
Where we all change
And we'd live our lives together
And not estranged

I didn't lose my mind it was
Mine to give away
Couldn't stay to watch me cry
You didn't have the time
So I softly slip away...

The sleeting showers started to hit the windscreen and Susan puts on her wipers. The lights turns to green, The car pulled away.

"Spoke so soon" Abby commented about the sudden weather change.

No regrets they don't work
No regrets they only hurt
Sing me a love song
Drop me a line
Suppose it's just a point of view
But they tell me I'm doing fine

I know from the outside
We looked good for each other
Felt things were going wrong
When you didn't like my mother

Abby lets out a nervous laugh, Susan looked at her with a puzzled frown.

"What?"

"Felt things were going wrong, when you didn't like my mother!" Abby sang out loud. Susan snorted in her laughter at her friend and carried on watching the road.

I don't want to hate but that's
All you've left me with
A bitter aftertaste and a fantasy of
How we all could live

"It won't take a minute for me to get Cosmo" Susan said stopping the car and gets out. Abby sighed and looked around, feeling paranoid. She leaned over to press the lock button.

No regrets they don't work
No regrets they only hurt
(We've been told you stay up late)
I know they're still talking
(You're far too short to carry weight)
The demons in your head
(Return the videos they're late)
If I could just stop hating you
(Goodbye)
I'd feel sorry for us instead

A hard rapping on the window made Abby jump out of her skin. She looked and sees Susan waving at her, pointing at the door "Let me in!" She leaned over to unlock the car door. Susan shook her head for being stuck out in the sleeting rain and she strapped Cosmo in to the car seat in the back.

"I'm sorry Suse, I guess I'm just nervous"

"It's ok Hun, it's understandable"

Often I sit down and think of you
For a while
Then it passes by me and I think of
Someone else instead
I guess the love we once had is
Officially dead

Susan gets in her drivers seat, shuddering from the cold and started the engine. She paused. "I don't fancy cooking right now, shall we eat out?"

"I don't mind as long I get something to eat, I'm starved!"

"Good I need to nip home first to get some more diapers and my credit card"

"You've got your mommy's smile," Abby said leaning over her seat talking to Cosmo, they're waiting for Susan who popped in her apartment to get her things. "Aunt Abby will have a playmate for you soon…" She looked down and patted her tummy.

Abby waits anxiously as her hunger pangs takes over, she rubbed the condensation of the door window and looked through it and sees Susan locking her front door. She stepped down the stairs and walked round to her side and gets in.

"All set?" Abby asked leaning forward to look at Susan who is turning her head away as if she doesn't want to be looked at. Abby puts her hand on her friend arm and nudged "Susan? Are you ok?"

She nodded looking down. Her face is not visible because her blonde hair hung forward. Then she shook her head and thrusts a note to Abby. Susan broke down in tears leaning against the steering wheel. Abby opened the note and reads the contents.

Dear Susan

Just a note to say that I've gone away for a while and I feel our relationship is no longer worthwhile. I am tired of our constant arguments especially about the hours we work. We seem to be more committed to our work than our marriage. You take a good look at ourselves, we've been kidding ourselves really, to be truthful we are really only staying together because of Cosmo?

I'll be honest, I have met someone else… a woman who will be there when I come home from work

My lawyer will be in touch about my access to our son.

Thanks for nothing

Chuck

"Oh Susan, I'm sorry" Abby said looking sympathetic

"I saw it coming" Susan sniffled.

"Why didn't you tell me about it?"

"Haven't you got enough on your plate as it is?"

"You've been there for me Susan, I expect to return the favor" Abby said rubbing her hand across her friend's shoulder. "Let's go to my place, talk it over and I'll order a take out to be delivered, I'll drive"

"No Abby you can't drive, you've had a concussion, I'll manage" Susan sniffled turning on the ignition "I can't believe that Chuck has been screwing around. Eww I've could have caught anything! Bastard!"

Abby walked up the steps to her front door; Susan followed her carrying Cosmo and wiping her eyes. The brunette opened the door and noticed an envelope on the floor. She picked it up and it is addressed to 'Abby'

"Uh you've got a letter too, is it your turn to be dumped" Susan said bitterly.

"Looks like Carter's writing?" Abby said showing the envelope to her then opens it and pulled out a letter. She unfolded the paper and reads it…

Dear Abby

By the time you are reading this letter, I'm probably half way across the Atlantic on my flight to Kisangani.

I am hoping you would hear me out for my behaviour; I am in the right frame of mind writing this letter. I could not bring myself to tell you face to face, I am a coward. I'm sorry that I hurt you dearly; I would not ever dream of laying my finger on a beautiful precious person like you. You probably hate me now.

You are absolutely right I confess, I am taking Fentanyl and as you didn't know I am also taking Anabolic Steroids too. I am having bad withdrawals at the moment. You may want to know why I am injecting myself?

This is my reason - I have never come to terms with losing Joshua. I was devastated that my child was stillborn and it did not help Kem leaving me too. I needed the support but I had no one to turn to… You probably thinking why didn't I go to you… I know you are great listener but I felt awkward wanted to go to you especially that I finished our relationship last year, and met Kem. I had feared that you might have gloated the fact my relationship with her had failed. Abby, now I know you are not the sort of woman who gloats about things. I learnt that from that night we went out for a drink, of course one thing lead to another.

The event of that night resulted you being pregnant with my child (I'm sorry what I said on Christmas day, denying its mine). It had brought back memories with Kem's pregnancy. I started to be silly by getting paranoid the fact I am frighten that you will go through the same as her, losing the baby and stupid me I have put you at risk myself! I don't know how I would cope if that happens, then again you probably thinking I am being very stupid about the whole thing. I should have had therapy but I was too proud to go and get help. Look where it had got me… I might have lost you forever because of my unacceptable behaviour.

I will not be away too long but I will keep in touch. Hopefully going to Kisangani will be good therapy for me, sorting myself out.

I love you Abby, you are the only person I've ever really loved.

You look after yourself and the baby. I enclose a cheque for $20,000 with my support so you can buy the things you need for the nursery.

Love always

John xx