For Witch Weekly's Future Article on Sirius Black Chapter 2: What The Staff Thinks About Sirius Black, a harry potter fanfic

Chapter Two: What the Staff Thinks about Sirius Black

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"Padfoot do we really have to listen to this?" yawned an annoyed James Potter.

"Of course ya do," Sirius Black said as he was trying to fix the tape recorder.

"But at two AM," complained Peter Pettigrew.

"No better time than the present," mumbled Sirius.

"Padfoot don't you need your beauty sleep? You look like shit," noticed Remus Lupin.

All four boys were in their pajama pants. The only Marauder, what they call themselves, with a shirt on was Peter.

"I'll make it up in class," grumbled Sirius.

"Sirius Black!" The door to the boys' dorm room came bursting open. Lily Evans and Shelby Cummings came in wearing the same enraged expression.

"Hello ladies," he greeted.

"IT IS TWO O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING AND YOU ARE BLASTING THAT BLOODY TAPE RECORDER!" screamed Lily.

Shelby joined in, "EVERYBODY IN THIS BLOODY SCHOOL IS TRYING TO SLEEP, ECSPECIALLY US! Remus WHY THE HELL DID YOU NOT STOP HIM!"

All the boys covered their ears.

"JUST TURN THE BLOODY THING DOWN!" With that the girls left the room slamming the entranceway.

"Yes," exclaimed Sirius when he finally got the tape to work, "here it goes."

Click!

"Here I, Sirius Black, sexiest man in Hogwarts, am sitting at breakfast on day two of my investigation about myself for Witch Weekly."

"Padfoot, shut up."

"Jamesie is a little snippy today because Miss Evans slapped him last night. He has a scratch on his face from her nail."

"That is it!"

"What are you going to do? Hi…"

There was a sound of a bone cracking.

"Yes, punch you."

"That hurt Prongsie, mentally and physically."

"Whatever."

"Mr. Potter."

"Hello Minnie, you look absolutely ravishing this morning."

There was a few seconds of silence.

"Potter, it is Professor McGonagall to you."

"Well then, Professor how may I help you?"

"Detention for punching Mr. Black!"

"Wait! Minerva!"

"What do you want Mr. Black?"

"What are your thoughts on yours truly?"

"Mr. Black what is this for?"

"Black here thinks Witch Weekly will want to do an article on him."

"Shut it, Evans."

"Mr. Black I think you are the worst trouble maker this school has ever seen."

"Thank You."

"Hey! What about me?"

"You too Mr. Potter."

"Thank you."

"I think you should have your head in your studies and not gathering information on what people think of you for a stupid magazine. Good day, Black, Potter, Miss Evans."

"How come she always says 'Miss Evans' to you and 'Black' to me?

"Hey, Evans!"

"No Potter, I will not go out with you."

"Why?"

"Because hell has not frozen over."

"What if I said it did?"

"No, I still wouldn't go out with you."

"Come on Evans, give me a chance."

"No. Good bye, Potter, Black. Oh and Potter, I hope that scratch still stings."

"Don't worry Evans, it doesn't."

"Prongs she really does not show any sign that she likes you."

"I know, I know, but I am not giving up."

"Loser, you could have every girl in this whole bloody school and you choose the one girl that despises you."

"Paddy Footy, I love her. She will come around after we do our next prank."

"Prongs you have been doing these pranks to impress her since fourth year and I don' see her anywhere near you."

"Shut up, Moony! Lily is just playing hard to get."

"She must really like the game because she has been playing it for a while."

"Ha! Ha! Ha! Very funny, Siri!"

"God Prongs, I was just kidding."

Click!

"Here I, Sirius Black, am sitting in History of Magic. All the girls are staring at me, when has that changed. Binns is being his boring self. OY! PROFESSOR BINNY!"

"Yes, Mr. Black."

"What do you think of me?"

"Well, you are smart, but you choose not to show it."

"I love you, Binny. You are the first person who said I was smart today."

"You do through some of the best pranks this school has ever seen. So that means you are clever and creative."

"Why is everybody forgetting me! I am starting to feel neglected!"

"Oh yes, you too Mr. Potter are very creative."

"Hey! He gets 'very creative' and I only get 'clever and creative'."

"You both are very…."

"For the sake of Merlin, can we please get back to class!"

"Evans, don' you want my article to be a success."

"No, I don't care about your bloody article. This is class not time to socialize with your teacher. Professor Binns, isn't it right that Hogsmeade's Hogs Head was headquarters for the goblin rebellion of 1612?"

"Why yes, Miss. Evans. Is that where I was?"

"Yes, sir."

Click!

"You know Evans, you could be a little less tense."

"We have NEWTs next year. There is no time for dilly dallying."

"Shut up, Black!"

"I mean it!"

"Black!"

"Damn, she just has to go into the girls' bathroom…. You know, I always wondered what their bathroom looked like!"

"Black get out! This is the girls' bathroom!"

"Oh, is it? So that's why you're in here?"

SLAP!

"OW! Evans that hurt!"

"Good! I will slap you again if you don't leave me alone!"

"WW, she really loves me; she just doesn't show it."

Click!

"Ah potions! My least favorite subject."

"Mr. Black why aren't you making your potion?"

Well you see Sluggy; I am busy talking into my tapey recordery thingy. By the way, what are your thoughts on me? Speak loudly and clearly please."

"I think you are a lazy arse, unlike your brother. I also think you are very smart. If I had you in my house I would have the Black set."

"Reggy is too scared to be a lazy arse, and I would never want to be in Slytherin."

"And us Slytherins don't want you in our house either."

"Thank you, Bella."

Click!

"Sprouty baby!"

"Mr. Black, class is over. I do not want to spend anymore time than I need to with you."

"I love you too! What are your thoughts on a very sexy guy, Sirius Black?"

"I was warned about this question. Well Black, you are very cocky, smart, and clever, but a terrible student at times. Now please Mr. Black, leave me in peace."

Click!

"Hippogriffs can be trained but it is very hard."

"Professor Kettleburn?"

"Yes Mr. Black?"

"Are hippogriffs anything like lets say, Sirius Black?"

"Yes Mr. Black, they are very proud creatures. Although they do not slack off in work and play pranks. Sometimes they are sentenced to death because the hurt someone, only some times."

"Thanks professor, I think."

Click!

"NEWTs are next year…."

"You have to be prepared yada yada ya. Flitwick can we get to more important things?"

"What is more important than passing your exams?"

"Me, of course. What do you think of me?"

"Mr. Black this is class time. I will not answer your question."

"Meany!"

"Finally a teacher that shuts him up!"

"Why don' you shut up, Evans?"

Click!

"Okay, I will be all right. It is just a room filled with books and people studying. Deep breaths. Here I go."

"Mr. Black! What are you doing in the library? You are not going to set the books on fire again, are you?"

"No Pincy, I came here to see what you think of me. So?"

"I think you are a lazy book burner. Please leave my library now!"

Click!

"But Poppy, I went insane in that library!"

"For the last time Mr. Black, I will not give you a sanity potion. Now please leave."

"I will but first, what are your thoughts on me?"

"Black, you are a flattering fool."

"That is the nicest thing you have ever said to me, Poppy!"

"You must be so happy. Bye!"

Slam!

"How rude! Just slamming the door on me, Sirius Black!"

Click!

"C'mon Sinny! Open the door!"

"Black, it is Professor Sinistra! Go before I get Filch!"

"I am not afraid of him!"

"Good because he is on his way!"

"Then what are your thoughts on me?"

"You are a nascence!"

"Black!"

"Argy, I missed you!"

"Black this is beyond me. Follow me to the headmaster's office."

"Do I have to?….. OW! FILCH, NOT MY THE EAR! OW! OW! OW!"

"And you say you are strong. Can't even take a little pain."

"A little? You are practically ripping my ear off. Oh Filchy, what do you think of me?"

"You don' want to know. There is a twenty page list, don' want to spen' too much time with ya."

"You gave me the light of day?"

"Sugar Quills. The Headmaster is waiting."

"Bye Argy! I love you!"

"Ring around the rosy, a pocket full of posy, ashes, ashes, we all fall down!"

There was clapping coming from the top of the stairs.

"Bravo, Mr. Black, bravo!"

"Thank you Professor Dumbledore. I was thinking of making a record for my fan club."

"Please take a seat."

"Thank you, sir."

"Mr. Black, it has come to my attention that you were bothering Professor Sinistra in her tower."

"Yes sir."

"Why?"

"I wanted to know what she thought of me. What do you think of me?"

"You are a talented young man with a hint of mischief. Now, you may go back to your common room, and please shut the recorder off for the night."

"Yes sir."

"Also, no more going into the girls' bathroom."

"Of course, Alby."

Click!

"Evans slapped you too," said James.

"Yup," Sirius answered.

"Hurts, doesn't it?"

""Like hell," Black agreed.

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