My Impractical Hurricane – 3

Ah! Don't kill me, I'm still working on Obdurate Heart, I swear! …Anyway, I can't believe you haven't seen the movie…Will someone make this person watch the movie please? Watch it! I thought it was good—but being an extreme comic book nerd, I guess I could be bias…Thanks for the reviews so far, guys, hope you keep reading.

Reed eyed over at the clock, wondering where the Hell midnight had gone and what he was still doing awake. He seriously had to stop spending so much time surfing the internet. The Fantastic Four fan website was an interesting find, however. He didn't remember so many cameras going off, but there were an awful lot of pictures. Mostly of Johnny showing off, or Ben looking confused. It made him more than a little crazy when he saw the big, drooling, sex-crazed male forum centered around his fiancé.

"If only her clothes were invisible."

"Can they make that suit tighter?"

"Take my poll: what's the Invisible Girl like in bed?" So far three hundred and twelve votes for 'wildcat'. Reed seethed silently and contemplated leaving a comment of his own.

"Dear jackass morons: stop ogling my bride-to-be and get out of your mother's basement so maybe you can find and settle down with a full blown actual real flesh and blood girl of your own. If you refuse to comply with these terms, I will invent a ray of mass impotence and unleash it on this city so that every last one of you perverted hound dogs has no reason to talk about her or any other girl anyway. Thank you. – Mr. Fantastic."

Of course, he probably shouldn't. Something like that would cause a media circus, wouldn't it? He was a self respecting scientist, not a fifteen-year-old jealous chat room dork. In any case he was blushing like a naked virgin at the sight of his own…mostly…female fanatic sex-crazed fan base. Begrudgingly, it was proven that Johnny's was much larger, but his was large nonetheless. Bigger than Ben's, anyway, which, despite that, had an alarmingly sizeable number of fan girls itself. Shutting off the computer, Reed decided to put it all out of his mind. It was pointless to dwell on fans and critics; there was nothing they could really do anyway.

As he stood, he took another look at the clock and listened for a moment. The others had most likely gone to bed hours ago. He vaguely thought he heard Sue come in and mention something to him at some point. She knew better than to say anything important to him while he was at the computer, so it must've been a brief goodnight. He himself wasn't all that tired. After spending nearly five days conked out over the counter, on the couch, on various parts of the floor, and occasionally his bed from an exhausting illness, he was finally beginning to reacquaint himself with the world of lucid consciousness. Not that completely incoherent delusions weren't a nice place to visit, but this mental state felt more like home.

And then came the shatter. Then the clunk. And the loud, "Whoops! Aha!" Reed grimaced slightly. Heeeere's Johnny. Looks like he had been out all this time after all. He wasn't sure whether he was more concerned about what Johnny had just broken, or getting out of the room before the younger Fantastic teammate made it in there. The decision was made for him as the kid stumbled into the room, laughing maniacally.

Johnny…

Was…

Drunk.

And not in the had a couple of shots and lost track of time sense, or a few drinks with the co-workers to celebrate the end of a Monday sense. This was flat out straight up full on hardcore suicidal blitzed beyond all reason drunk. He must have been seeing colors heroin addicts only dreamed of at the moment. "Hey!" he greeted loudly, and Reed held up a hand to shush him.

"Quiet, Johnny, everyone else is asleep." He managed calmly.

"Oh! Sorry!" Johnny apologized in the loudest whisper Reed thought he'd ever heard, wiping his mouth with a sleeve.

"What…happened to you?" Reed curled a lip as he eyed Johnny's haphazard dressings and his slump against the door frame.

"I don't know." Johnny was still trying to keep down great wallops of giggles. "I think I just had sex. I don't know."

"Lovely…" Reed grimaced and sighed, at least eased by the fact that Johnny apparently didn't remember their little incident in his current state.

Johnny sneezed and almost fell backwards, pausing and blinking before leaning back against the wall and laughing. "Stretch, man…I feel like such shit." He rubbed under his nose and kept laughing.

"Would you keep it down?" Reed bit his lip and stepped a little closer, around to the back of the couch. "Sue's gonna have a conniption fit if she sees you like this."

"Sorry, sorry, I'm quiet." Johnny lowered his hand against the air as if to symbolize his decline in volume. "See? Shhh, Johnny's good."

"Fantastic." Reed rested his hands on his hips and muttered.

"I'm gonna go get a drink. You want one?" Johnny spun around and staggered towards the kitchen, Reed jumping at his heels.

"No no no, no more drinks, Johnny. For Christ's sake, look at you. You've about plastered yourself blind."

"There, so ya see, I'm not there yet…Vodka, Vodka, don't we have…or, at least some schnapps or somethin'?" he continued on.

"Johnny—" Reed clutched him by and upper arm and tried to turn him from the kitchen, only to be received quite violently.

"Hey, get off a'me." Johnny suddenly growled, and Reed stepped off as he saw literal fire burning in Johnny's eyes. Reed let out a breath. Obviously he was going to have to deal with this carefully.

"Okay, relax…" Reed assuaged, holding up a hand. "Now listen to me. You're drunk. On top of which, you're sick, whether or not you want to admit it. Would you lie down please? I'm afraid you're about to drop."

"I'm not sick." Johnny said defiantly. "And I'm not that drunk. I'm walkin', aren't I?"

"Not for long." Reed warned.

Johnny raised his chin and gave a seething glare to Reed, who half expected a fireball to his head at this point.

"Calm down Johnny…don't do anything stupid…" Reed pleaded. Ohh. Then again, bad choice of words.

"Stupid?" Johnny sneered back, then shoved Reed hard against the chest.

Reed wavered a bit in balance before catching himself—and barely catching Johnny around the middle in time as he collapsed, heaving a seemingly impossible amount of vomit over the floor behind the couch. "Whoah, easy!" Reed sputtered as Johnny threw up again, coughing and spitting as he attempted to speak.

"Ohhhh noooo…" he moaned, then laughed weakly.

"Stand up, come on," Reed hoisted him back into a standing position and steadied him. "Don't worry about that, uh…I'll clean it up later."

"Good luck!" Johnny kept cackling.

"Come on, to the bathroom. Before it happens again." Reed ordered, ushering a very unstable Johnny to his room and then to the bathroom residing therein.

"N-I don't have to go." Johnny grumbled and tried to push Reed away, who shoved him towards the toilet anyway.

"Get a hold on yourself. Get that stuff out of your system, I'm surprised you aren't dead."

Before Reed even finished his sentence, Johnny was irking painfully and hurling his guts into the toilet so hard he nearly lost his balance. Reed steadied him with a hand to the shoulder and guided him to his knees, where he proceeded to expel an exorcist-style fountain from his stomach. Reed could honestly say he had never in his life seen someone throw up so much at one time. Coughing, Johnny wiped his mouth and spit in disgust, swallowing hard afterwards. "Damn…"

Reed was kneeling near him, eying him in a concerned and annoyed manner. "Is that it? You okay now?"

With a choke, Johnny was answering, garbling against another flow of vomit and fumbling a hand up to flush. Just as Reed was about to speak, he lurched one more time, and a heaving, drizzle of whitish fluid jetted from his lips in finish. Reed winced and slowly placed a hand to Johnny's back as though fearing a firmer touch would spark off another heave.

"Wow…er…wow." Was all Reed could say. Johnny pitched forward heavily and Reed snatched him by the shoulders, pulling him back. "Hey, don't fall in. Damnit Johnny, you can't just go around…drinking like that…"

Johnny fell against Reed's lap, one arm lax on the floor while the other slung over Reed's thigh and his head rested against Reed's shirt. He groaned loudly in response.

"One of these days you're going to drink yourself to death. That's not a joke. Or you're going to pass out somewhere and something will happen to you. It's not exactly good for our image, either. Can you imagine? Drunken hero burns down shopping mall? If that won't put the pitchforks in their hands, nothing will." Reed looked down, furrowing his brow as he observed Johnny's little hiccups and shivers. Was he…? He was crying…Oh, perfect…

Johnny sniffled a bit and clutched his hand into the material at Reed's stomach. "Reed…I'm sick…" he whimpered.

Reed sighed, uncomfortable and feeling a bit ridiculous as he reached a hand awkwardly to be placed on Johnny's head. "Yeah…I know you are…" A very long moment of silence ensued between them, Johnny lying weakly against Reed's lap and Reed nervously patting his fingers over the base of his skull. He didn't exactly want to deal with this, but part of him was glad he was the one to meet Johnny tonight. Ben might've been too rough with him, which could have resulted in a dangerous fight, and Sue wasn't strong enough to deal with her muscle-brained falling down brother. As much as he didn't like it, he was the best choice. For Johnny's sake, he should be more tolerant, he supposed.

How was it that he always ended up in these situations? Sometimes he hated the obligations that came with being the responsible one. He could count the times he'd gotten drunk on one hand, and even at his worst he hadn't downed near as much as Johnny did on a normal basis. One of these days he was going to do something senseless, he decided. Just…a small thing. Nothing drastic. Nothing…too uncalculated. He cleared his throat and looked down, noting with mild worry that Johnny had passed out. With the amount of puke he'd released, however, Reed knew there couldn't be much alcohol left in his system, so he shouldn't be too alarmed. "And I guess I'm in charge of moving you…" Reed mumbled and shook his head, rubbing a gruff hand at the side of Johnny's head. His hair was awfully soft, Reed thought as he touched light circles over the thin layer of fuzz.

"Johnny?" came a voice, and Reed stiffened as Sue appeared at the door. The scene was most embarrassing.

"Uh…" Reed stated eloquently, gaping up at his fiancé.

"Reed? Oh my God, what happened?" Sue stared at them and slowly went to her knees as well.

"I-it's okay." Reed assured, placing a hand over Johnny's head and holding the other up to try and gesture the flippancy of this occurrence. "He…had a little too much to drink."

Sue went from love-induced stress to supremely annoyed sibling in nothing flat. "Oh Johnny, you stupid idiot!" She smacked his knee hard and he twitched in his stupor. "You don't have to do this, Reed, just let him lie here. He deserves whatever he wakes up to."

"Mm…Don't want to leave him on the cold floor. He's sick. He needs to rest somewhere sensible."

Sue ruffled a hand through her hair and sighed in exasperation. "…Yeah, you're right…okay. Come on. I'll help you get him up." With that, they attempted to stand shakily, dragging a dead-weight Johnny along with them. Reed took one arm and Sue took the other, and with a fair amount of effort, they were finally able to pull him to and deposit him onto his bed. Sue set to work yanking off his shoes and tossing the blanket mostly over him, crossing her arms as she looked down at him. "When he's better, I'm gonna kill him."

"Fair enough." Reed muttered, rubbing the back of his neck as he gazed down at the sleeping figure below him. "You should stay away, you know. You'll catch it too."

"If I didn't catch it from you…" Sue began.

"I'll look after him. I'm already over it, for the most part." Reed wasn't entirely sure why he was offering this. He did want to keep Sue away from this sickness, but he certainly didn't want to baby sit the little hothead.

"Are you sure? I mean I'll probably end up getting it anyway." Sue rubbed one of his shoulders affectionately.

"Don't worry about it. Besides, it'll give me something to do while I get over this. And I can make sure he doesn't get himself into any more trouble. Won't it be nice to have him quiet for a while?"

"You've pulled off a lot of amazing things, Reed." Sue chuckled. "But keep him quiet…? Don't out step your boundaries."

Reed smiled and shook his head. "Right, right…"

"Goodnight Reed." Sue reached up to kiss him on the cheek, then shot a dirty but playful look towards her unconscious brother before leaving. Reed followed shortly, letting out a breath that was something akin to both relief and a whole new exhaustion.