Author's Note: I really have nothing to say, so I'll just go ahead and thank the reviewers: Lack Thereof (Riku does a lot of things in the nude O.O or at least my Riku does..), SeeingThrough (hello and welcome!), carbuncle x3 (I try to update soon... it doesn't always work, though...), Chocobo Obsessed (hi Iris!), Aeshma-Daeva(yes... but that's because there aren't that many girls in the plot), Jaguira (don't worry, they'll go soon), Casey ( I disagree, I think that Sephie's hotter than Riku...), demonmaster-999 (I'm glad that you'll keep reading! It'll probably get wierder, though...), Kanilla ( He wasn't completely naked, he had on these teeny tiny tightie-whities... thanks for the lovely long review!), cRoZx aNgeL (I'm glad that you like it!), lucky-g (I really appreciate your review, thank you! I also agree with the modern art thing...), Devil dog (hm... I never thought of it that way... I guess that room for rent does sound less creepy... Ah well, I'm too lazy to change it now :) thanks for the review).

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, but I own the story, so read and enjoy but please do not take.

Summary: One day a man in a wet shirt and leather pants shows up on Sora's doorstep. So, Sora gets a roommate, a young artist named Riku who turns out to be the most charming person he has ever met. So charming, infact, that he proceeds to charm the clothes right off of all of Sora's friends. But that's okay, because Sora doesn't know. Yet.

Sora couldn't figure out what he was going to wear to the banquet. Riku didn't care at all and was therefore soaking in the bathtub. That is, until the phone rang. Sora couldn't be bothered to attend to such a trivial matter as the phone, especially while he was looking through his closet, and so Riku was forced to leave his warm bath.

"Hello, would you like to buy one of our new vacuum cleaners? They're top of the li-" Began the telemarketer. Her name was Joe and she had lovely blond hair. Had Riku been able to see her, he would have immediately fallen in lust with her.

"I'm really not interested," interrupted Riku and, because he couldn't, in fact, see her, prepared to hang up.

"Excuse me! Do you have to interrupt me?" she asked, outraged.

"Well, I was taking a bath; did you have to interrupt me?"

"Yes! It's my job!" Joe yelled before hanging up.

Riku looked at the phone with surprise. This was not the first time that a telemarketer had hung up on him, but it was the first time that a telemarketer had hung up on him when he hadn't tried to make him/her/any-other-gender hang up on him. Riku actually made quite a sport of making telemarketers hang up on him. Mostly he just hit on them; but if the telemarketer was really insistent, Riku enjoyed telling him/her/any-other-gender that he was going to make baby soup out of their children. This worked every time, not counting the times that the telemarketer did not have any children, and the times that the police had showed up at Riku's door. After the fifth visit from the police (and the fifth policeman that Riku dumped) Riku had finally stopped using the "baby-soup" line, but he still had very fond memories of it.

"Riku!" yelled Sora from his room. "Have you seen my clothes?" He sounded as if he were on the verge of hysteria (and he was), so Riku decided to go check up on him. Riku walked into Sora's room and saw him on the floor looking under his bed.

"Well... There are the clothes that you are currently wearing..." suggested Riku in a mildly amused tone of voice.

Sora looked up. "No, you don't understand! I need to find some clothes for the banquet!"

"Well..." said Riku, "There are the clothes that you are currently wearing..."

"Riku! I am currently wearing an oversized t-shirt and a pair of boxers!" yelled Sora. He was more than a bit upset and therefore didn't realize that Riku could plainly see which clothes Sora was wearing.

"Well, I see nothing wrong with them," Riku said again. He could imagine the expression his mother would have if Sora walked in dressed as he was, and Riku really wanted to see that expression in real life. And take a picture, or a couple hundred. Riku was not above a lot of things, blackmailing his mother was one of them.

"Riku! Would you stop being a pervert and help me look for them!"

"You need to relax, sunshine," said Riku. "How about, I'll let you borrow something of mine?"

Sora sighed with exasperation. "Riku, you barely have enough clothes for yourself. How can you possibly lend me some?" Sora turned back to his bed and stuck his hand under, still trying to find something wearable.

Riku raised an eyebrow. "I have plenty of clothes, Sora."

"Yeah?" asked Sora without even looking at his silver-haired roommate, "then how come you never wear them?"

Riku shrugged, a motion that was completely lost on Sora but which he did anyway out of habit. "I just don't like wearing clothes. I feel trapped."

"You should go live in a nudist colony," said Sora before pulling an old shoe from under the bed.

"Sora! Are you trying to get rid of me?" asked Riku in a half-joking manner. "I'm appalled! Besides, I have lived in a nudist colony. It wasn't that great. There were a lot of ugly old men and women. The freedom to walk around naked isn't really worth having to endure that."

"I suppose I should have expected..." said Sora. There was a moment of silence. And then Sora shrieked and leaped back from the bed. "OH MY GOD!"

Riku stepped forward worriedly. "What's wrong?"

Sora looked up at Riku with wide eyes. "Something just bit me!" Sora looked back at the bed, made a strangled noise at the back of his throat and started to slowly back away.

"Do you know what it was?" asked Riku.

"No... Oh my god! What if it's the boogie man?"

Riku raised an eyebrow. "The boogie man doesn't exist, Sora."

Sora was by then standing next to (and a little behind) Riku. "Yeah, yeah, that's what they all say, but how can you really be sure?"

Riku patted Sora on the shoulder. "When I was seven I armed myself with a helmet, a candle, and a butter knife and went on a week-long quest to end the boogie man's reign of terror (1). I looked under every single bed and in every single closet in my house. I didn't find him, and my house has sixty-five closets. If the boogie man existed, he would have been in one of them."

Sora was silent for a moment. "That doesn't help me deal with the fact that there is a biting... thing... living under my bed."

They heard something move under said bed, and a small cloud of dust drifted out. Sora whimpered and clutched Riku's arm. "Do you mind if I sleep with you tonight?" (2)

Riku never minded.

(1) Riku neglected to mention that he had wanted to push the boogie man off of his throne so that he, Riku, could sit on it instead. Telling your friends that your childhood dream was to become a Dark Lord of Darkness is probably not very smart. They might, after all, steal your idea and then you'll have to kill them when you rise to power. And that would be a shame, because good friends are hard to come by these days.

(2) Don't worry/Sorry depending on your preferences, but nothing's gonna happen between Riku and Sora this chapter. Sora is still dating Kairi, and he's a good little puppy who isn't going to cheat on his lovely red-haired slut :)

Next Chapter: This is what you've all been waiting for (or at least I know one of you has been waiting for this): the banquet!