Author's Note: Alrightey, I feel really bad for not posting this earlier... I'm really sorry :( I decided to stop fooling around with it and just post the damn thing. Thanks to: Jaguira, Lack Thereof(I agree, Sephiroth with disheveled hair is just plain wrong. But in my opinion, if anyone were to make his hair disheveled, it would be Cloud), Queen of the Insects, carbuncle x3, Casey, chocoholic freak, The Kawaii Rijekuto, Nhamo, Kanilla-Master of Fluff, bOb the bUilder, Aeshma-Daeva(the cid that I'm talking about is the KH/FF7 cid... the coolest of them all!), and kohisuki. You guys make me feel really happy... and then really guilty for not updating sooner. I loved reading the reviews for last chapter, they were mostly OMG! YOU KILLED RIKU! It made me laugh out loud. I was lucky that no one was home at the time, otherwise I might have been carted off by the men in white :)
Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter :)

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, but I own the story, so read and enjoy but please do not take.

Summary: One day a man in a wet shirt and leather pants shows up on Sora's doorstep. So, Sora gets a roommate, a young artist named Riku who turns out to be the most charming person he has ever met. So charming, infact, that he proceeds to charm the clothes right off of all of Sora's friends. But that's okay, because Sora doesn't know. Yet.

Riku woke up on a cozy couch in an equally cozy room. Two men, both with wings, were looking down on him. A fire was burning cheerfully in a fireplace at the other end of the room.

"This isn't how I imagined death to be," said Riku when it became clear that the two men weren't going to say anything.

The one with the pale halo looked marginally uncomfortable. "Well. Er. About that..." he said with a decidedly English accent.

"So, I'm not dead?" asked Riku hopefully.

The second man adjusted his sunglasses. "Nah, you're dead alright. You're dead as a doornail. You're roadkill."

Riku blinked. "Oh."

The first man glared at the second man. It didn't come out too threatening. Still, you had to applaud him for the effort. "That's overdoing it a bit, don't you think, dear?" he asked the second man.

"Well, it's the truth, angel. I thought that your people were all about that stuff," the second man replied with a snake-like smirk.

"You're an angel?" asked Riku.

The second man grinned. "You're kinda slow, ain't ya? I would have thought that the wings had given it away."

Riku scowled. "So who are you? You're too mean to be an angel. Are you supposed to be a demon or something?"

"Yeah."

Riku blinked. "Oh." Riku blinked again. "Wait. What? Who are you?"

The demon sighed. "Well, we used to be Heaven and Hell's representatives on Earth. And then, because of our involvement in a particularly nasty business- it's not worth mentioning, really- we were temporarily demoted."

"Well, this is all beyond the point," said the angel.

"No, I want to hear about this," said Riku, looking interested.

The angel looked cross. "Well we don't have time to talk about that right now..."

"But-" Riku began again.

"No. We are not talking about it and that's the..." The angel looked at the demon. "What is that thing?"

"What thing?"

"That line... you know!" the angel waved his hands in the air, trying to get his point across.

"...at the bottom?"

"Yes! That's it exactly!"

The demon sighed. "It's called 'the bottom line,' angel."

"Oh. Yes. Thank you, dear." The angel beamed. "...and that's the bottom line," he continued his earlier sentence, but had seemed to have quite lost his stride. He blinked. "Well." He stalled while he tried to remember what it was that he had been saying. "The thing is, you are currently lying dead in the middle of the road. The good news is that the driver who ran you over called the ambulance... They should be there in a couple of minutes, just in time to resuscitate you."

"The angel's doing, you can be sure," interrupted the demon.

"But while you're here, we're going to have a little talk," the angel continued.

"A little talk?" asked Riku. "About what?"

"Well, you see, your soul tarnished, but not tarnished enough that you deserve to go to Hell. In other words, if you were to die right now- permanently, I mean- you would be stuck in purgatory for all eternity. We're here to try to convince you to change your ways and to somehow... alter the balance, as it were."

"I don't know why you even bother, you're terrible at it. I've been here five times already, and I'm still going to neither Hell nor Heaven." said a third voice.

The demon glared at the speaker. "That's because you're a lost cause."

Riku turned around and his eyes widened in surprise. "Dad? What are you doing here?"

"Hello, Riku. I'm just waiting to be alive again. The same thing you're doing, actually."

Riku paused. "Oh. What I meant was, how did you get here?

"The bastard, Cloud, poisoned my wine while I wasn't looking. I think that I've had a heart attack. Or something of that nature." Sephiroth said with a vague hand gesture. "Can't even kill me like a man... what a sissy..." he muttered.

"Dad, we have an emergency defibrillator... shouldn't you be back to life already?"

Sephiroth inspected his nails. "Yes... I should be back to life by now. Unfortunately, the emergency defibrillator has run out of batteries and, seeing as how she hates me, your mother is taking her own sweet time replacing them."

"Mom doesn't hate you..." Riku protested.

Sephiroth looked at his son. "She doesn't hate me? She has tried to kill me on several occasions. Haven't you ever wondered why we sleep in different rooms? Honestly, Riku. You should pay more attention."

Riku opened his mouth, realized that he had nothing to say, and closed it again.

"I thought that that was just because you were cheating on her," he said after a moment of thought.

Sephiroth shrugged. "Well, that is the other reason."

The demon had a smug smirk on his face. The angel looked appalled.

"You-you really shouldn't be doing that!" the angel exclaimed.

Sephiroth granted him a blank stare. "Doing what?"

The angel blinked before leaning in. "Cheating on your wife!" He paused for a moment. "It tarnishes your soul," he added matter-of-factly.

Sephiroth narrowed his eyes. "Obviously not substantially, seeing as how I keep ending up back here. Besides. It's not as if she's not cheating on me."

The angel looked lost for a moment. He finally realized that this was a fight he could not win and turned away with a sigh.

The demon grinned. "So basically, you have too much sex. And if you don't have less sex, you're going to Hell. But I don't see much of a problem here. I mean, you're not, technically, going to Hell now, are you? So, obviously, there's no problem!"

Riku nodded.

"So, if you're not going to go to Hell, why stop?"

Riku nodded again and stood up. "Yeah! You're right, I'm not going to Hell, so why stop?"

The demon nodded. The angel, however, grabbed Riku's shoulder and turned Riku to face him. "He's just trying to tempt you! If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll tarnish your soul more and more and will eventually end up in Hell! Besides, if you just... have relations... with everyone you see... how are you ever going to be in a meaningful relationship? You really should reconsider your ways..."

"Why?" the demon exclaimed. "He's good at sex, so why make him stop?"

Sephiroth smirked. "That's right, he's good at it!" He turned to Riku. "I remember when you, at one point, were having affairs with the doorman, two of our maids, and mailman. All at the same time!"

"Dad… now you're just mixing up your life with mine…"

Sephiroth looked unsure for a moment before breaking out in a satisfied grin.

"Exactly!" said the angel. "Do you really want to end up like him?" he pointed at Sephiroth.

The man in question looked insulted. "What's wrong with me?"

The demon threw his arm around Sephiroth. "Yeah! What's wrong with him? He's rich, handsome, powerful-"

"-His wife is trying to kill him..." the angel interrupted while looking meaningfully at Riku.

Riku looked lost for a moment. "I suppose that I see your point..." He suddenly felt sick to his stomach and the room started fading around him.

The angel nodded. "Well, looks like the ambulance has arrived. Remember what we've said, I do hope that you'll make the right choice..."

The last thing that Riku remembered was hearing his father talking to the demon.

"Do you see what I'm saying? That damn woman is trying to kill me! When I get my hands on that broad..."

And then Riku woke up in a hospital.

Author's Note: So, as you can see, Riku did indeed die, but not permanently :) Also, I think that I've probably lost the fight against crossovers. If you want to find out more about the lovely angel (I kept typing angle. It was really annoying) and demon (flash bastard), then you should read Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman. You'll be able to find it the nearest bookstore/library. And if the bookstore/library doesn't have it, then it's a pretty crappy bookstore/library :)

Next Chapter: the last chapter... it's kinda sad, really...