My Impractical Hurricane – 9

You guys crack me up. I love you.

Three days. A lot can happen in three days. You can lose your mind, you can become an insomniac, and you can apparently drink your weight in coffee. Reed felt that by now, he had done all of these things. In three days, Johnny had gotten over his sickness, and in three days, Reed was back to completely avoiding him. He was partially relieved to know that this was not a one-sided evasion, as Johnny had been equally careful in making sure that their interaction was kept to a minimal. Either way, Sue was none the wiser. Ben, however, at least suspected that something was up, and Reed feared more than anything that he would want to try and talk about it. And so in addition to acting like an awkward virgin around Sue, and dodging Johnny every chance he got, he was also practically running out on Ben every time he opened his mouth. Yes indeed, life was super.

As of now, Mr. Fantastic sat brooding in his bedroom like an upset teenager. It was better than sitting in the living room with everyone else pretending that nothing ever happened, anyway. That must've been what Johnny was doing about now—which would've been easy without Reed in the room. But then who was he kidding? Johnny was probably back to his routine, roving the city and hounding up skirts, full of alcohol and bullheadedness. Getting sick and in over his head all over again. Reed grumbled and sat down on his bed, picking up a book and convincing himself that he was actually reading a section of it as he thought. In actuality, he was forming his new plan of attack. Like how he was going to seem calm the next time he went out of his room or which excuse he was going to use the next time Sue suggested that they all go out together. He didn't come up with much. He could only really hope that, with time, this would all blow over.

At least, that was what was best, right? Of course.

The door erupted with knocking, and Reed dragged himself to his feet lethargically. Fretting really takes a lot out of you. He was not in the mood to try out one of his slapped together attack plans at the moment, and he had a difficult time putting on his 'I'm like, so totally normal' face as he went to the door. As he opened it, he was most certainly shocked to see Johnny staring back at him. One—because Johnny never knocked no matter where he was or where he was going—and two—because well…the obvious. "…Johnny?"

"Can we talk?" Johnny said loudly. Reed didn't know what he was so angry about, but Johnny's temper was always something to watch out for.

"Uh…sure…Come in?" Reed backed away and Johnny, appropriately, stormed into the room and shut the door.

"I…" Johnny growled at first, tossing up a hand. He made quite the statement.

"…Is there something…you wanted to say?" Reed shrugged.

"Yeah, okay, gimme a damn break." Johnny rubbed the back of his neck and twitched several times as though trying to think of something to say.

After a long while, Reed cleared his throat, looking away. "So…how are you feeling?"

"Fine." Johnny spat back.

"Good." Reed nodded and waited, wondering if Johnny had come in here to kill him, thus destroying the only witness to his recently less than heterosexual behavior. So was it going to be by knife, gun, strangulation, or would he just resort to melting him? Ah damnit; he knew which it would be. "Uh, I—"

"Look, okay, j-just shut up." Johnny stopped him. "What did you do to me, man? Huh? Just what the Hell did you do to me?"

Reed stared numbly. "…I don't know what you—"

"Don't say that, you know what I'm talking about!" Johnny interrupted again.

"I-I didn't do anything, I've been in here all day." Said Reed, taking an unconscious step back. "Anyway, I thought you'd be out."

"I was." Johnny snapped. "I came back."

"Why?"

"Why?" Johnny knocked his foot into the wall heatedly. "Well I-I was out, okay? Like every night. But every night now it's the same thing! I see girls, I love girls, I look at them the same, you know? They're still hot, they still turn me on, I still want them, and thinking about 'em still makes my pants tighter than that stupid spandex uniform! B-but I can't…I c-can't…" he huffed a breath through his nose and clenched a fist, wiping his mouth with the back of a hand. "It's you, okay? I look at them and it keeps coming back to you!"

Women reminded Johnny of Reed? Reed said nothing, gaping in confusion.

"So what the Hell did you do? B-because it's not me, you got it? I'm straighter than an arrow, I'm—I'm…I'm the ladies man of the Fantastic Four for God's sake! And I was looking at some other guys, you know, j-just for the sake of looking and all and I was like, ew gross, so it's not guys, okay? It's just…you!"

Reed could only play his role as a brick wall, unmoving. "…You're…saying you're…attracted to me?" he uttered pitifully.

Johnny stopped and looked around, fidgeting again.

Reed was stunned. He didn't even think he should be, and yet, he was…stunned. "…Why?" he was saying stupid things before he could stop himself.

"I don't know!" Johnny replied as though Reed had just accused him of something devastatingly perverse. "Y-you bother me, okay? No matter how much I irritate you or piss you off or make fun of you behind your back when you're not looking—"

"Huh?"

"—it never gets to you! You just…You just give me that stupid look and walk away, you never fight back! And your stupid science fetish, and the way this whole place is made out of metal and like, mad scientist experiment equipment—It's just weird, alright? …You care about me, and you don't yell at me, even when that's what I want..." His tone suddenly took a sharp turn-around at that last statement, and Johnny quickly fell into silence.

Reed opened his mouth and waited for something stupid to fall out, but nothing came forth. He couldn't even bring himself to blink. What was he supposed to say to something like that? What exactly had just been revealed to him? Where in the Hell was Ashton Kutcher! "…You…like me because I bother you?"

"Ah, Reed!" Johnny cried out in despair and covered his face, his clothes suddenly smoking up just a little.

"Okay, okay, it's okay, calm down." Reed approached him.

"Why'd you come after me? Why'd you take care of me? Why do you treat me so good, and why did you kiss me?" Johnny looked up in mild terror and immense exasperation.

"I…" Reed swallowed hard. "…I don't know, Johnny…I guess it's because…well…you bother me, too."

Silence.

And then, it happened. Johnny was on him—lips locked, limbs tangled, balance threatened—the whole nine yards. Reed struggled just to keep upright, falling back a few steps as he was assaulted. He was sure he tried to make some sound of protest, but it wouldn't have matched up very well with the way he was groping at his hips and kissing back. Johnny's jacket fell to the floor—neither was sure who'd shucked it off—and after a few wavering moments, Johnny was down, dropped hard against the edge of the bed with Reed leaning over him. Reed knew this was wrong, it was so, so wrong, oh, why did Johnny have to feel so good? Hands were everywhere. Words only made it in brief gaps between demanding tongue-battles.

"Johnny—"

"What?"

"…That kiss—that was defiantly you this time."

"Shut up…" Johnny offered up another brutal kiss, pulling Reed down roughly by the collar of his shirt.

Reed couldn't help it. He kissed back. All other brain functions shut down. Screw inhibitions, he wanted Johnny like a whore wants dignity.

"Hey Reed, I was j—y—AH!" that horrified yell signified the entrance of Ben Grimm…

Reed felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. There they were, half bent over the bed, Reed's belt undone and his arms halfway delved up Johnny's T-shirt to caress his chest, Johnny's hands fisted in Reed's shirt while his legs were locked tightly around his hips…

"…Shit…" Johnny whispered hoarsely.

"Ben—" Reed began.

"What is going on in—" and Sue, right on time. When she saw the sight before her, her visibility instantly vanished.

Ben stuttered in disbelief, eyes locked onto the scene in hypnotized shock. "…I…uh…shoulda……..knocked…."