I was lying in the tight space of a car. I could smell the sweet smell of new leather mixed with the smell of my sweat and a man's. Jack's. I was warm beneath him. But when I rolled over a put my arm across him, it hit nothing but air. A baby's cry woke me from my sleep but I didn't open my eyes.
I was too tired to even move. She cried louder and louder still, and I finally opened my eyes. What? Where was I? I sat up, startled and felt a hard blow on the top of my head. I crouched down and looked up. A top bunk. I was in my cabin. At sea. My fifth day at sea, to be exact. Remembering Maia and her mother and their need for sleep, I picked myself up and brought Kate to my breast. Usually I was happy to let her feed, but now all I wanted to do was curl up in bed and worry about how my mother would receive me. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to go back to Jack, but the dream had escaped me. Only a dream.
We got an early start, though. After just a little more sleep, I got myself up, packed my few things all in a carpet bag Robert had found for me, said goodbye to my cabin-mates and made my way upstairs for breakfast which I took out on the deck. It was very cold out, so I'd lifted my blanket from my bed and had it wrapped around my shoulders. For hours I sat there sipping coffee with Kate in my arms and waited for Southampton to come into view. I knew we were getting closer when seagulls came and landed on the deck, looking for handouts. I didn't disappoint them, and threw a few crumbs from my scone. I couldn't eat anyway. I was too nervous.
I imagined different scenarios involving seeing my mother. In one, I came up and rang the doorbell and she answered it. The moment she saw me, she shut it in my face and left me alone to die. In another, she was waiting for me when the ship docked and embraced me when I came to her and cried happy tears. Then I wondered about Cal. Perhaps she would try to force me to go back to him! Surly not! Surly not! But as I stared at my few things and thought of the meager necessities my mother now lived with, I realized, she surly would!
I nearly got sick at the thought of seeing him again. The last time I saw him, he tired to kill Jack and me. What would he do to our baby? The idea of him hurting her brought me near tears. I wanted to go back to New York and get as far away from them as humanly possible.
Too late. England came into view and someone shouted, "Land ho!"
"Land ho!" The crew repeated.
"Land ho!" cried some passengers.
"Land ho," I whispered, and held Kate tightly to my chest and walked to the bow. The wind blew in my face as I watched Southampton creep closer and closer. We docked and as everyone got off, but I just stood there, avoiding walking to my doom. Kate's cough was enough to convince me that there was a greater good, so I gathered my courage and disembarked.
Now what? How would I get to London where my mother was living? I figured I would have to hitch my way there until something caught my eye. It was a small sign displaying my name, being held up by a man in a suit. I approached him. "I am Rose DeWitt Bukater." I said. He held up a picture to my face, the one I'd sent to Mother, and compared the two.
"Come with me," he said. "Your mother has new lodgings, and she sent me to escort you there."
He took my carpet bag from me and led me to a horse drawn carriage. "Classy," I said to myself.
"What?"
"Nothing."
He opened the carriage door and helped me inside. "YA!" he shouted a few moments later, and cracked his whip. With a jolt we started moving. We got out of the port and rode for about 20 minutes and then we stopped.
"We can't be there already," I said more to myself than to him.
"We aren't. This is the train station that's taking us there."
I nodded and we went to a train. He handed a man our tickets and escorted me inside to a rather nice private cabin, then left me. I sat there watching the scenery fade from busy streets, to calm towns, to bare meadows, and then back to busy streets. Four hours passed until I recognized that we were in the outskirts of London. The train stopped and mother's valet came back to take me off the train and into another carriage. Only 20 minutes later, we stopped. I was quite exhausted by now and wanted nothing more than to sleep for the rest of the afternoon.
I got out of the carriage and recognized the manor house immediately. It was my father's old house, where the children from his previous marriage had lived when they were younger. Mother must have taken up residence with them.
Elated, I ran to the door and was about to rush inside to see my beloved step brother and step sister when I remembered Mother. I stopped, composed myself, and knocked three raspy knocks on the oaken door. Light, quick footsteps signaled someone coming and I braced myself. The door was opened by a maid, about my age, with dark brown hair pulled back into a bun. "Yes?" she said, sounding quite nervous.
"Hi…" I said, "I'm Rose, black sheep of the family."
"Oh, I'm sorry, Miss!" She cried.
"Sorry for what?" I said flatly.
"I didn't know you were Miss Rose. I…I…"
"Mother scolds you quite a bit, doesn't she," I guessed. She looked around nervously and nodded.
"I'll show myself in," I said. "You can go hide in the kitchen if you like."
"Thank you," she gasped and ran off. I clucked in disapproval of my mother's treatment of her and went into the sitting room. It was the same as it had always been when I'd come to visit my step siblings. The room was what Anna (my step sister) and I would call "The Mauve Room" for everything in it was mauve. The carpet, the curtains, the designs on the wallpaper, the sofas, and the table cloths. All of them were mauve. It was actually rather obnoxious, how everything matched.
Then I heard more footsteps and looked up to the stairs. "ANNA!" I cried, and ran to her, still holding Kate.
"Rose!" She rushed down the stairs and we embraced each other. "Oh, Rose! It's true! You're really alive! Praise the Lord!"
"Have you married Sam yet?" I asked excitedly, remembering that she had been engaged to a man she barely knew when I last saw her before I went on Titanic.
"Yes, 2 months ago."
"And have you done it?"
"Ages ago."
"Did it hurt?"
"Very much."
We giggled. This was always how we had been. She used to be so worried about her wedding night. When we were girls, we would talk about it and blush and giggle our heads off when we should have been practicing piano or with our tutors.
"Is George here?" I said, remembering my step brother, 2 years older than I, 1 year older than Anna.
"He lives at court now, with his wife."
"He's married? When? To whom?"
"Some fancy snob named Mary. He likes her not. She's such a snoop. They married last month."
"I can't believe I missed all this." I said. "Will George be here later?"
"Yes. Perhaps tomorrow." Then she looked at the bundle in my arms. "Oh is this Katharine? Oh, she's darling! May I hold her?" I nodded and handed her over. "Oh, hello sweetie. I'm your auntie Anna," she said in prattle.
"Are you going to have children someday?"
She nodded happily, then suddenly looked up like a wild rabbit who just heard a predator. "Stepmother's coming," she said. "You'd best sit down." We rushed back to the sofa and sat down daintily. Anna handed Kate back to me and I held her to me. She was probably hungry, but she would have to wait.
I heard light footsteps and the sound of a dress sweeping against the floor. Then I watched as my mother gracefully entered the room.
"Rose," she breathed and she looked quite blanch.
"Hello, Mother," I said a sweetly as I could.
She took a deep breath and began thoughtfully chewing her lower lip.
"You've been well?" I asked.
She nodded. "And you?"
"Very well."
"Who is this?" She said, indicating my baby.
I smiled proudly. "Your granddaughter, Kate."
"Katharine," Mother corrected.
"Well, I call her Kate…" I told her, not seeing the problem.
"This is proper England," she explained. "I suggest we call her by her proper given name."
I nodded. There was no use arguing and I didn't want to get in a fight so soon. Anna played with her thumbs while we all sat in an embarrassed silence.
Anna finally opened her mouth, about to speak but Mother cut her off. "I suppose we should discuss the…situation at hand," she said.
"Oh," I said. Then "Oh," again. "Right." It was like she didn't even care I was alive and well and she was looking at her only daughter for the first time in almost a year. I felt a pang of hurt and tried to act adult. "What was it you wish to discuss?"