Disclaimer: Not mine.
Sound of the Night
Chapter 3: Escape
Gojyo walked into the bar with his usual confident swagger. He won poker again, and he only cheated a few times – without being caught, of course.
Gojyo never got caught. ...Almost never.
He could smell the desire of the women evaporating from their bodies. He took one, half-drunk, laughing, and they stumbled upstairs, blatantly groping each other, the hot scent of alcohol in their collective breath mingling.
They collapsed through the door. She was giggling, flat drunk. Gojyo took her hand and half-dragged, half-cajoled her to the bed, her laughing all the way.
What came next was a blur of beer-induced giddiness and lust. He didn't even remember undressing her. He kneaded her into the bed, cheap springs creaking in time with his thrusts as she returned his attentions by clasping her legs behind him, hands combing through his hair.
It was hot, sticky, fast, wet sex. The way Gojyo liked it. He'd fucked a million women on a million nights just like this one.
Only this one, he kept wondering if this was anything like what Sanzo had felt like with Hakkai pinned underneath him. If he closed his eyes, he could pretend that the fleshy mass beneath him was hard, rough-edged muscle, scarred but soft, that the oozing breasts he buried his face in were flat and toned. He could picture green eyes and soft brown hair and that stupid smile and those sensual lips and those careful hands and everything that this random slut was not.
He came, stretching out to some invisible, unreachable point. He could hear the girl moaning beneath him, mumbling something he didn't much care to hear.
Gojyo wanted to leave right then and there. Just pick up his clothes and get out. But he fell to the sheets beside her and twisted his fingers through the blanket instead, smothering his face into a pillow and wanting to bite something.
He lay there for a while.
Gojyo woke up without realizing that he'd fallen asleep. He'd dreamt something, but he'd lost it immediately.
He rolled over and his arm fell over a warm shape beside him. His hand met a curved side, a breast.
It was then that he started to shake. He couldn't stop it. He just wanted to get up and leave, to be somewhere else completely. He burrowed his face into the bed and put his hands behind his head, willing himself to stop.
Gojyo had never been one for self-control.
The bed creaked and he felt a hand on his back, rubbing in slow circles.
He was reminded of a time in his childhood, long ago, before his mother had completely lost it. He'd hurt himself doing something, somehow, and was crying over it. He could feel his mother rubbing his back, soothingly.
She'd been so kind, before. Always sad, but sweet. It was because she loved him that she hurt him. He knew that. He'd continued to love her even when she stopped knowing how to be kind. He'd continued loving her for every strike like she was stroking him.
He could feel himself crying. He wanted to stop. He wanted to stop all this shit right now, make it the way it had been before. Before he'd ever opened his stupid mouth and been such an insensensitive ass to Hakkai, like he always was.
No. Not the way it had been before. He wanted Hakkai here with him now, not this stupid girl. He'd woken from a dream thinking that Hakkai had been by his side.