Title: Fastest Man Alive - With a Limp

Author: girlinterrupted

Summary: It's Bruce and Diana's wedding day. Unfortunately, things start screwing up, and it's up to Flash to set everything right

Replies to the reviews are below:

DianaRulz: This is my first shot at comedy-based writing. Thanks for the review; I'm happy you found it funny.

Gotham's Princess: You know what, I now regret not using the title 'I like pie'. I really do like pie. Oh well, I got quality reviews anyhow, so I won't complain. Thanks for the review.

balletangel19: What makes you so sure that Flash is suffering from memory loss? I like the title "What the Flash is going on!" too. I think I'll use it as a chapter title. Thanks for the review.

hawkgirl04: Thank you, and thanks for the review.

Trepverter: Was I really that funny? Aw, thanks, heh heh. I liked the line about the wedding dress too, but my favourite is when Clark says, "How much did you drink?" "I guess that answers my question." Unfortunately, I don't think the second chapter will make you laugh as much for the first, but thank you.

I'm too lazy to login now...: Aw, at least you could've written your nickname, unless it's some complicated one or one that you can't remember (like mine...I can't remember which vowels are missing). Shayera doing someone's hair? You're about to see how that turns out. Thanks for the review.

Luna: You'll find out why Flash is like this, but not in this chapter. Thanks for the review.

doc-trigger: Why, thank you. I couldn't resist using the title I did; I've always loved that line. Poor Flash. Being called an idiot. By the end of this story, the League should be eating those words. Thanks for the review, I'm glad you like it.

SLytheringurl650: I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the review.

Sufjan Tweedy: Wow, everyone who reviewed this story really doesn't have a clue why Flash doesn't remember...I like it! Thanks for the review.

- Chapter 2 -

"For the thousandth time, I haven't seen a stupid wedding dress!" Katma shouted at him, without taking her eyes off the screen.

"I've only asked you once!" Flash protested.

"Well, Wonder Woman has asked me 999 times. I haven't seen it, ok!"

"Ok, ok! Don't have a cow," Flash said, frowning. "Why are you guys even here?"

"Somebody has to watch over Earth when the Justice League decides to throw a big celebration," Katma reasoned. "Stupid Earth inhabitants…all they do is party."

"Right," Flash said, rolling his eyes. "Anyways, can you tell me who has entered or left the Watch Tower in the past hour?"

"Kyle left for his break about ten minutes ago. J'onn was here early this morning, but he left as well. You came. Shayera left a few minutes before you arrived," Katma said, rubbing her chin.

"Wait a minute. Diana told me Shayera was doing her hair," Flash said, curiously.

"Now that is a bad decision on Diana's part," Katma sneered. "I don't know, maybe Shayera went to get more mousse. In any case, she hasn't returned."

Without another word, Flash zoomed off towards Wonder Woman's room, and entered it to see a very weird scene with her and the former Hawkgirl. Shayera was combing Diana's hair into a very weird hairstyle that was probably a Thanagarian wedding tradition. However, with every other movement, Diana would say, "OW!" and raise her arm against her head, pushing Shayera's hands away.

"Stop it, Diana! How do you except me to do your hair if you keep knocking my hands away!" Shayera grunted.

"I can't help it. Every time you poke my scalp, my reflexes come into action, which means my arms think something's trying to stab at my head, so they come up for protection. Nothing can penetrate through my bracelets, you know," Diana said, as-a-matter-of-factly, pushing Shayera's hands away.

"Oh, no! A hair comb is going to kill me!" Shayera said, mocking Diana, and trying to put the comb to use in vain. Wonder Woman noticed Flash's presence and jumped up, almost knocking Shayera backwards.

"Did you find it!" She asked, excited.

"If you mean am I closer to finding it, then, yes!" Flash said, ready to run out of the room in case Diana decided she didn't want him to be a living specimen anymore. However, she just sat back down, looking extremely glum.

"Shayera, when did you arrive at the Watch Tower?" Flash asked her.

"Last evening; I was here all night," she replied, looking at him curiously.

"Have you left, at all, since then?" He questioned. Shayera shook her head.

"AHA! That means that there was an imposter in the Watch Tower!" Flash said, excitedly.

"Huh? How do you know?" Diana asked, standing up again.

"Because I just spoke to Katma Tui and she said that she saw Shayera leaving right before I arrived."

"Now who would come into the Watch Tower and steal my dress, and then exit impersonating Shayera?" Diana asked, befuddled.

"Well, it had to be someone in the League, considering they got into the Watch Tower," Shayera concluded.

"Heh. About that…" Wonder Woman said, blushing innocently. "I, um, sort of misplaced my landing bay access pass. Bruce was helping me search for it for weeks, amidst all the wedding plans."

"Oh great, so it could be anyone," Flash said, indignantly. "And you two really are getting married?"

"Yes! Do you have a problem with that!" Diana snapped. "What I don't understand is how none of us saw this imposter when I was near my dress pretty much all the time."

"Well, when I went to put on my bridesmaid dress, and you went to grab some breakfast…that sort of left the dress by its lonesome," Shayera said, thoughfully. Diana clicked her tongue.

"I know! Let's look at the surveillance videos in the landing bay!" She said, jumping up excitedly.

"True," Shayera agreed, letting Flash lead the way back to the monitor womb. As they searched through the surveillance, Diana explained the story to Katma Tui.

"Hmpf. If there was an imposter, we would have spotted them," Katma growled. "We Green Lanterns make no mistakes."

"You Green Lanterns think you're so hot. I bet I could chop that ring off your finger with my mace," Shayera sneered, past rivalries in mind. Katma growled, but got ready to fight.

"Now this is the part where Wally starts enjoying himself," Flash mused. "Of course, if we added a little mud it would be even better…"

"Stop the tape!" Diana said, catching everyone's attention, seeing "Shayera" come into the landing bay.

"Wow, Flash is actually right for once," Shayera said, wide-eyed.

"Yup. Hey…what's that supposed to mean?" Flash said, folding his arms.

"My nose is not that big!" the real Shayera said, angrily, seeing the imposter's rendition of her.

"I wouldn't bet on it," Katma muttered. Shayera threw her a dirty look.

"She's wearing bracelets, just like yours, except gold," Flash pointed out to Diana.

"Great Hera; It's Aresia!" Wonder Woman gasped.

"Why would that man-hater want to steal your wedding dress?" Shayera said, remembering their incident together quite clearly.

"Oh, I remember that chick. She was hot. Too bad she tried to kill every male on Earth," Flash said, shrugging. "Should I have been turned-off? Because I definitely wasn't…"

"Maybe I made her angry by not inviting her to my wedding," Diana guessed. "But I'm confused. She made it so obvious that it was her by wearing her bracelets."

"She probably knew you would look at the surveillance videos. Perhaps she wants you to follow her," Katma suggested.

"There is no way I'm getting all sweaty right before my wedding," Diana said, folding her arms, "Even if it is for my wedding dress."

They all turned to look at Flash, who started to back away.

+

"Wait a minute, no men are allowed on Themyscara," Wally said, as Diana took off his mask in her room.

"Right: which is why we're dressing you up like a girl," Shayera said, grabbing a summer dress from Diana's closet and throwing it at him.

"I don't think so," Wally said, standing up, ready to take off.

"Sit. Down." Diana growled, much like her soon-to-be husband.

"Alright! Just because you're marrying the scariest man alive doesn't mean you have the right to act like him," Wally frowned, sitting down immediately. "I'd also like to point out that I don't approve of your wedding."

"You did before. You're probably just in some state of shock," Shayera said, sounding like Clark. She grabbed some lipstick off the make-up table and starting smearing it on Wally.

"Shock isn't the right word to use, it's more like freaked-out beyond belief. It's almost as worse as if Brainiac married Darkseid, or something."

"That would only be legal in Canada," Shayera said, picking the eye-liner.

"Diana, do even you know Bats enough to marry him?" Wally asked, sneezing from the amount of powder she put on his face. She paused to think.

"I know he gets rashes if he uses Old Spice deodorant," Diana said, quite serious.

"Alright, that is just disturbing."

Five minutes later, Wally was ready to go.

"You have to be the ugliest girl I've ever seen," Shayera examined him, trying to stifle a laugh.

"Hey, it's not my fault I wasn't able to shave this morning!" Wally protested, rubbing his stubbly chin. "And Shayera, you're a female; why don't you just go and grab the dress from Aresia?"

"Because I am the bridesmaid and I have to assist the bride in decorating herself," Shayera replied, making something up at the top of her head.

"Flash, here's a map of Themyscara that will lead you to where Aresia's tower is," Diana explained, handing it over to him. "Don't reveal your identity to her, whatever you do."

"Hey, I never tell anyone I'm the Flash," Wally said, frowning.

"I meant the fact that you're a man, you dope. Now hurry up, I'm getting married in one hour and I need my dress!"

Wally sighed. He had made a big mistake by leaving Wayne Manor this morning.

To be continued

A/n: Well, I hope you liked this chapter. I'm surprised I put it up so soon considering how little time I've had this past week. There might not be a another postuntil...next month! Vacation time...WOOH! I'm going to Rome, Florence, and Barcelona! WHEE!

Read and review!

-me