Title: Fastest Man Alive - With a Limp
Author: girlinterrupted
Summary: It's Bruce and Diana's wedding day. Unfortunately, things start screwing up, and it's up to Flash to set everything right.
Replies to the reviews:
SLytheringurl650: Thanks for the review.
Trepverter: Hahahaha. I like that: elope with Catwoman. That's hilarious. Flash could marry WW, but who knows how long they'll be able to go before she kills him in annoyance. Clark belongs with Lois, so that knocks him out of the picture. How about J'onn? Think about it! lol. I'm glad you're enjoying this. Thanks for the review!
Gotham's Princess: Hey, good guess. You were very close to reading my thoughts! Of course Catwoman is jealous, who wouldn't be? Even I'M jealous of Wonder Woman, lol. Thanks for the review.
balletangel19: Me too, but none of them involve super heroes. Thanks for the review.
doc-trigger: Patience, patience! You'll find out soon enough! I'm so glad you're in anticipation. I agree, poor, poor Wally. He has to do all the dirty work...Next thing you know, he's cleaning toilets. Thanks for the review!
Wolf-blades-wings: I'm a big Batman fan too! (Hence why all my fics have him as a main character). I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for the review.
Icha: (drooling) Ferrero-Rocher Gelato! I wish I tried that! Yumm...! I had a good flight, no turbulence; nothing. I'm sure you would've thought of your own ending if I hadn't made it back. Personally, I like Talia the best for Bruce, even though she ends up back stabbing him. Thanks for reviewing. I'm happy you find it funny.
- Chapter 5 -
Bruce is marrying Diana. Batman is marrying Wonder Woman. Black is marrying White. No matter how Flash had said it to himself, it sounded weird. The two hooking up was something he couldn't possibly have imagined. And he didn't want to imagine it. Maybe that's why he was against the whole idea. Two superheroes who worked together constantly couldn't –or shouldn't- commit to marriage. It would lead to chaos. But what Flash didn't understand is why he was out looking for the groom if he didn't want the wedding to happen. He didn't even understand why the groom suddenly decided to become AWOL just before facing the altar, if he had been planning for this wedding for a long time.
All these thoughts had run through Wally West's head as he tried to think of places Bruce Wayne could be.
"This day has been crazy!" John had exclaimed. "First, the rings are stolen, then Batman plays truant out of fear, and now Flash is actually thinking!"
Flash had tossed him a dirty look.
"Hey, I was the one to recover Diana's wedding dress, which was before the rings were stolen. And I think all the time. Right now, I'm thinking that you are a big pain in the butt," Flash had muttered.
"He's not in the bat-cave," Clark had said, emerging from the Wayne Manor den.
"We need to consider places that wouldn't be as obvious," J'onn spoke, trying not to make him feel stupid.
"You mean I need to consider," Flash had disagreed. "You all should be at the church now."
In fact, the limo had arrived, ready to transport the groomsmen. The three superheroes had walked out of the house.
"We'll try to delay as much as we can. First I have to think of a good explanation to tell Diana," John had said, more to himself than to Flash, as they left.
Flash realized he didn't have much time. He zoomed back into the den and tried to look for clues as to where Bruce was. There was a slip of paper on his desk that he guessed was the actual wedding invitation. He looked through it, wondering why on Earth Bruce would write the invitation in what looked like Kryptonian. Therefore, it didn't help him.
Flash continued to scan the room and his eyes fell on the old grandfather clock which he knew was the entrance to the Batcave. The time was now 9:45. Both hands of the clock pointed in the same direction: a portrait directly besides it. Flash went over to the picture and examined it. A tall, handsome man stood with his arm around a pretty woman. The mouth and jaw-line of the man was familiar, as was the eyes and nose of the lady.
Flash realized that they were Bruce's parents. Their deaths were the reason why Batman was who he was. Flash suddenly had an epiphany; maybe Bruce was at the scene of their murders or at their graves, a place where he would be able to go to think. He swiftly opened the desk drawers and found what he was looking for: a newspaper clipping.
'Wayne Double Homicide Leaves Son Orphaned'
Flash quickly scanned the article. The murders took place at the corner of Park Avenue and Sheppard. Without a moment to lose, he zoomed away.
The street was pretty deserted for that time in the morning. Flash arrived there and saw Bruce sitting on the curb, his hand under his chin, staring at the ground. He looked like a lost, overgrown child.
"Where's a camera when you need one?" Flash murmured. Somehow, although Wally had spoken softly, Bruce's head turned towards his direction, swiftly, as though he had been smacked in the face.
"How did you—?"
"I may not be the world's greatest detective, but I have to say, it wasn't difficult," said Flash, answering Bruce's incomplete question as to how he found him. Wally took a seat next to the billionaire. There was a moment of silence.
"You're a hypocrite, you know that?" Flash put forth, breaking the silence.
"Yeah?" Bruce said, dryly.
"I heard you telling Robin once that he shouldn't let fights get personal; yet, every fight, for you, is personal," Flash stated, looking at him. Bruce didn't reply. He was still staring at the ground.
"You also called me juvenile and immature when you yourself just ran away from your own fear," Wally said, looking away. "Oh, and thirdly, you told me I need to think before I act, otherwise people could end up hurt. I wonder what Diana will think when John tells her—"
"Alright, alright, I get it," Bruce scowled.
"Don't think I'm trying to convince you to get married to her," Flash continued, beginning to enjoy himself. "I don't agree with this wedding, anyhow. I mean, it's not Diana's fault you're completely hollow. Or is it shallow…no, no; the word is hollow. Like a log; A hollow, rotting log."
"Your use of imagery is lacking."
"Fine, I'll put it bluntly: One day you'll realize that you're not as good a Batman as you are now. Eventually, you'll get old. You'll get lonely. And the only one to blame for that is yourself."
"I'm already lonely. And I already place the blame on myself."
"I can see it now. Bruce Wayne, the lonely fogy who's batting at Joker with his cane. We can make a song: 'Old Man Wayne, Old Man Wayne, tries to hit the Joker with his walking cane,'" Flash sing-songed.
"And how does marrying Diana change the lyrics to that song?" Bruce snarled, clearly aggravated beyond belief.
"Because then it will go: 'Old Man Wayne, and his wife, try to hit the Joker with their walking canes.'" Flash sang, grinning. He could tell Bruce was attempting very hard not to punch him out, which was quite entertaining.
"You know, I'm trying to figure out how Diana could ever fall in love with you," Flash wondered, looking at the billionaire. "I mean, you dress up like a rodent, for goodness' sake."
"Wally, is there really a point of you being here?" Bruce submitted, finally looking at the speedster.
"Nope, no point, really; You have absolutely no idea what I had to go through today. It's only ten to in the a.m., and I've pretty much gone on three missions," Flash said, counting. "First, Mr. Hell Dweller steals Diana's wedding dress because he wants to be the flower girl. Then, Catwoman steals the rings because she's jealous and wants to marry you. Now, I've been sent here trying to convince you to marry Diana. And I had to go through all this crap when no one told me about any wedding.
"My heart bleeds for you," Bruce said.
"Thank you, that's very nice of you to say."
"I was being sarcastic."
"So was I," Flash replied.
"Look," Bruce huffed, angrily. "I came here to think. I wanted to think about my life—"
"—or lack thereof—"
"—before I get permanently hitched," Bruce continued, ignoring him.
"Bruce, I'd understand your actions if you were marrying Bizarro, but you're marrying Diana! If you're worried about her and your crime-fighting career, remember that she is a superhero, too. You went out on all those missions with Robin, didn't you? You and Diana can pair up and take down Gotham's worst," Flash said, trying to fill his voice with admiration. "Plus, it's not like she looks like Granny Goodness."
"I love her! I don't care how she looks!" Bruce said, reaching his limits and jumping up.
"You don't love her; if you did, you wouldn't be having second thoughts," Flash concluded, smugly. The billionaire was silent for a moment.
"I cannot believe they sent you of all people to bring me back," Bruce replied.
"Well, did I convince you?"
"I'm not admitting anything."
"I'll take that as a 'yes'."
"You did it pretty fast."
"Fastest man alive," Flash said, looking at his fingernails in conceit.
"Good, you can shine my shoes. Make it snappy, I'm late for my wedding."
"Do you, Bruce Thomas Wayne, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love and to serve, in sickness and in health, and in good times and in bad, as long as you both shall live?"
"I do."
"Are you sure?" Flash said aloud.
The male members of the league chuckled. Diana looked puzzled.
"And do you, Diana of Themyscara, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love and to serve, in sickness and in health, and in good times and in bad, as long as you both shall live?"
"I do."
But her reply was drowned out by a loud, whistling noise. Flash turned in the direction of the ruckus and saw a white cloud appear before him. The Martian Manhunter stepped out of it. Flash was really confused. Beside him stood J'onn J'onzz in a tux, and in front of him, the same Martian was there in his superhero clothes.
Flash then looked around and realized that the wedding ceremony was continuing. Bruce was now sliding the ring onto Diana's finger. No one except him noticed the bright, white cloud that had emerged out of no where.
"Flash!" Superhero J'onn yelled. "Give me your hand!"
The speedster reached out to him, and everything went black.
To be continued
DON'T MISS THE FINALE! Batman admits all!
a/n: (sweating)
I know what you're thinking. Batman admits...ALL! What do I mean by that? Well, I can't tell you just yet.
Oh, and I'm sorry for taking forever to update. I have so many...commitments. Advice: Never make commitments.
And you know what's totally unjust? I haven't seen the episodes of season five yet! (I don't get CN...WAHH)
Review.