Hey there readers. KMITS is back with a new chapter. Yay! I want to thank all of those who read chapter 2. I was so surprised at how many people actually reviewed. It made me so happy! I'm glad you guys like the story so far. Anyway, this chapter is a doozy, the most I have ever writen. I was going to make it 2 seprate chapters but it wouldn't have balanced out so now its one BIG chapter...think of it as a sorry for not updating in so long...and not updatingChapter 4 until laterbecause of my ever so mild ADD.Anyway, enjoy and thanks to my reviewers. Love you guys!

Disclaimer: I don't own Tails, Sonic, Amy, Cream or anyone else I forgot to mention. They all belong to Sega...but I do own their plushies! (hugs them)Ehh...it will do for now.

Chapter 3: Addiction

A dream, a haze. Those two words pretty much summed up my day after Cream's disturbing visit. I really can't remember what I did or where I went, too caught up in what was happening, what could happen...and with it my depression resurfaced, stronger than before. At one point I sat down and cried, an annoying female habit that I was quickly assimilating into although not willingly. I just couldn't continue. I felt like my life was spiraling out of control, out of my grasp. My lies and emotions ruled my life, my every thought and after a while I realize something. Was my purpose to simply hurt others? To hurt myself? I shook my head of the thoughts, trying to find any answer that would make sense, answer the questions with enough vigor to allow me to never utter them again. But I couldn't and it was finally starting to sink in.

My life was a joke. One big comedy where I was the biggest fool. Where the others were supposedly my puppets but in reality they controlled me. Every tear was for them, every worry, every frustration, all my happiness and joys, all my nightmares and sins were for them and not myself. I couldn't cry for myself yet I cried for others. I couldn't be happy for myself and yet I was happy for them.

Suddenly I deep rumble shook my frame, making its way upwards and escaping my lips. I began to laugh, laugh uncontrollably, and yet there was not a drop of happiness within the sound but I couldn't stop. I guess I laughed because I hadn't realized how truly fucked up I was. I felt tears slide down my muzzle, whether tears of despair or hatred I didn't know. I knew they couldn't be from happiness. It was an alien feeling I have not felt since my childhood days, a feeling I would never experience again.

I turned my gaze towards my clock making out a blurry 5:15. I cursed and, wiping the tears from my eyes, sprinted upstairs towards my room. I looked at my bed, still littered with groceries. I had yet to put them away. I hadn't even come in all day. I quickly disrobed and entered the shower, washing all my depression away for the time being. There was always time for self-hatred and pity but right now I had a job to do. I exited the bathtub and opened the medicine cabinet to withdraw my lotion when I accidentally knocked over a bottle of alcohol and in the process uncovered something long forgotten. I stared at the object, my mind confused as to why it was there. A hazy image appeared in my mind and with it my answer.

'I hid it because I was starting to get addicted again.'

My gaze scanned it and for a moment my resolve weakened.

'It wouldn't hurt if I just tried it...just once. I won't get addicted, I know I won't.'

Unconsciously my hand reached for it, fingertips lightly grazing its surface when the sound of glass breaking drew me out of my stupor. I looked down to see I had accidentally knocked over a small mobile mirror I left in the bathroom a couple of days before. With a sigh I exited the bathroom and opened my closet, withdrawing a broom and pan and began to sweep the glass out of my way. Once I was done I threw it into the small garbage can in my bathroom and closed the medicine cabinet without a second thought.

I dressed myself in a pair of navy blue parachute pants, a white long sleeve shirt with a black short sleeve shirt over it, black fingerless gloves and my black boots. Making sure nothing was out of place I rushed downstairs and grabbing my keys from my table was out the door in an instant.

I rushed towards the train station and was able to catch the train just as it was about to pull out. I sat down trying to catch my breath again, happy the compartment I currently occupied was nearly empty. I looked at my watch:5:35. I sighed, relieved. Luckily Cream only lived fifteen minutes away from me by train so I was on time. I turned towards the window, admiring the large open fields and beautiful mountain ranges in Mystic Ruin. It was such a rarity to see places like this, land untouched by greed, innocent of the pollution and industrialization of the big city. It was a welcomed respite. For once in so long a sense of peace invaded my limbs and I simply allowed my mind to wander about everything and nothing. To be ignorant of the world and its problems...that was true happiness.

I was pulled out of my daydreams at the sound of an automated feminine voice.

'This is Emerald Valley, 52nd street. Next stop is Trinity Junction, 39th street.'

I stood and made my way out, passing trails of trash, dirt, graphitized walls, and broken stairs towards the surface. I rush of wind greeted me, the smell of crisp grass and salty sea a forewarning of the coming weather. Tonight it would rain though I couldn't tell just how hard. I only hoped it would start early enough so that this "date" wouldn't last too long.

I walked down the next two blocks stopping in front of a small chocolate colored two story house, a very adorable and old fashioned looking home that was obviously well kept unlike the usual messes that defined suburban living. Opening the large front gate I entered inside, walking down the small winding pathway that led to the porch. I rang the doorbell and waited for a second or two before a gentle, feminine voice answered.

"Who is it?"

"It's me, Tails."

"Just a minute." she answered, the sound of the chains and locks a faint echo in my ears.

The door slowly opened revealing a petite female rabbit with long chestnut hair and soft honey eyes. She could not have been more that 36 years old and yet the brilliance, the simple look of joy upon her face illuminated her features, making her seem much younger than her age.

"Hello Vanilla."

"Oh, hello Tails dear. So glad to see you again. Won't you please come inside? I just finished baking cookies."

"Sorry Vanilla but we're already late. Maybe next time?" I quickly added, not wanting to be rude.

"Of course sweetie. Anytime. Now if you will excuse me, I'll go get Cream for you..."

"It's okay mother. I'm right here."

Vanilla stepped aside revealing a very cute looking Cream. She was dressed in a yellow spaghetti strapped shirt with a box shaped neckline, a knee length brown jean skirt and a pair of black sandals. Her long mahogany colored hair was decorated with small brown ribbons, their centerpiece a beautiful sunflower replica. Around her neck rested a brown choker with the same flower as the ribbons. Her hands were covered by brown gloves and on her right arm rested an array of gold bangles that jingled when she moved.

I gave her a smile, pleasantly surprised at just how nicely Cream was turning out.

'Too bad she's wasting her time on an image that doesn't even exist.'

Instantly my smile faded. I was surprised it took so long for that one to come bite me in the ass.

"Tails, are you okay?"

I turned towards her for a second forgetting why I was there to begin with but her worried eyes brought me back to reality.

"Uh...yeah, I'm okay. Just surprised at how...um...how nice you look." I whispered, saying the first thing that entered my mind.

'Great Tails. Play with her heart some more.' my mind reprimanded.

I was saved from my thoughts as two chao flew towards us, one a baby blue chao with a red bowtie and the other a chocolate colored chao with a yellow bowtie.

"Hello Cheese, Chocola."

Both Chao bowed their heads and flew on either side of Cream, resting on each of her shoulders.

"Sorry guys but I have to go. I promise to come home soon and then we can watch movies tonight. What do you say?" she asked.

Both chao gave a happy chirp before flying into the air, beginning to dance around her.

"I take that as a yes" Vanilla giggled, ushering the chao back into the house. "Now both of you be careful and try not to stay out too long okay?" she said, leaning down to receive a kiss from her daughter.

"I promise mother." Cream responded, pecking her cheek and embracing her mother in a hug.

I couldn't help but feel a twinge of envy at the sight. I couldn't boast of such unity with my parents. Heck, I couldn't even remember them anymore. I wondered, if they had been alive...would things have been different?. My eyes grew darker. Guess it depended on which parent you were talking about, the perfectionalist, insensitive bastard of a father or the self mutilating mother.

"Tails?"

"Huh?" I asked, awakening from my stupor, realizing Vanilla had already withdrawn back into the house along with the chao leaving Cream and I alone.

"You're always thinking, lost in your own little world. Is there something wrong?" she asked, grabbing my hand in one of her small delicate paws.

'Everything.'

"No, nothing's wrong. Just wondering about this weather. It looks like it's going to rain."

"I hope not. I really want to see the fireworks display. And besides, it took a lot of convincing to get you to agree. I don't think I can go through with that again." she ended with a smile.

I returned it.

"Are you insinuating something?"

"Yeah. That you Miles Prower are one tough guy to snag."

'And therein lies the problem.'

"I guess so." I answered, pulling my hand away from hers. "Come on, were already late. Let's go."

We made our way down the long, endless streets that occupied Emerald Valley, towards the crossroad that lead into Station Square. Luckily, Cream lived close enough so that we only had to walk a few short minutes. We walked in a silence, something so unusual for us. I guess Cream felt the same way for she continuously attempted to start a conversation, each subject unable to hold my attention for more than a few minutes before we submerged ourselves in silence again.

"Amy and Sonic are going to meet us at the entrance."

'Damn it. I forgot about them.'

I remained silent, unsure about how to answer the statement or if it even merited a response at all. It is not widely known that Sonic and I are on less than friendly terms. Most of our friends just veered away from the subject, opting not to mention the others name in our presence. Yet Cream was the exception. Some would call it innocence and I guess that does apply. Yet I see it as a subconscious avoidance. She chose to ignore the problem because in the end, it benefited her. Without Sonic, all I really had was her. Sure this seemed cynical of me to say but it was a thought that continuously entered my head. Still, this was Cream, one of the most innocent creatures I had ever met. I was willing to give the benefit of the doubt.

The sky had grown darker, accentuating the bright, neon lights of Twinkle Park. It became our beacon, leading us toward the rapidly growing crowds that littered the entrance. We immersed ourselves within the bustle. I grabbed Creams hand, trying my hardest to keep us together. There were so many people. It made me nervous.

Creams gaze scanned the perimeter, honey eyes searching for an intended target.

"Amy told me they would be near the entrance. Where could they……..?"

"Cream! Tails! Over here!"

We both turned our heads towards the rapidly growing spec that was Amy Rose. It really wasn't hard to spot her. Either her bright pink colored fur or her enthusiastic tone would gain anyone's attention. Cream waved, happiness accentuating her movement. Amy reached us and embraced Cream, both hugging the other as if they hadn't seen each other in years. Amy let go of Cream and turned towards me, emerald eyes scanning my frame. Annoyance soon surfaced. I didn't like it when people observed me as if I was some specimen on display. I wanted to say something but I bit my lip. There was no hidden motive for the inspection. She only wanted to see me up close. I guess I was just jumpy.

"Hey Tails. Long time no see." she whispered, hugging me. I returned the gesture, feeling her genuine happiness in the embrace. We parted and she grabbed my face, observing my features.

"You're growing into a handsome furrie Tails. You should stop hiding out in your house. Then maybe I wouldn't be so surprised."

I felt uncomfortable, receiving such praise. It felt awkward. I decided to answer in kind.

"Your looking good yourself Amy."

She blushed, whispering a small thank you. I really wasn't lying. She did look really nice. Her quills had grown although not so long. I guess she still wanted to retain some of her youthfulness. They reached her shoulders, each embedded with an ocean blue highlight that ran from the base of her scalp to the very tip of each quill. On each ear she wore a pair of gold hooped earrings, around her neck rested a gold chain with a beautiful pendant of what appeared to be a rose. She wore a long, navy blue sundress that reached her ankles, the bottom half a skirt that had a slit from thigh to ankle. On her hands she wore a pair of blue gloves, golden bracelets accentuating their color. Her preferred footwear was a pair of small heel navy sandals that finished off the ensemble. She looked beautiful but it was the happiness on her face that remained her greatest accessory.

"Hey Amy? Where's Mr. Sonic?"

Amy turned, pointing a finger into the crowd of people. My gaze followed, finding the aforementioned hedgehog. He stood near the elevator wall, leaning casually against its cold surface. He wore a pair of black jean shorts, a red shirt, a black jean jacket, black gloves, and his usual running shoes. A pair of dark sunglasses hid his intense eyes but even with them I could still tell his eyes were closed. His relaxed stance indicated as much.

We made our way over and Cream gave a polite greeting, one to which Sonic answered without hesitation. But I knew Sonic, could read his tone as easily as anyone else could read his expressions. There was a hint of boredom in his voice, an impatience and lack of enthusiasm that was lost on everyone but me. I wondered if he also didn't want to be here. Maybe Amy had forced him to come.

With all of the formalities out of the way we entered the elevator which led us to the extremely crowded Twinkle Park. As soon as the doors opened the sound of laughter and merriment enveloped us, flashing lights, loud music and the always entertaining rides the cause.

"Its 6:15. We still have an hour and forty five minutes left. What should we do?" Amy asked, hand intertwined with Sonics.

"I don't know. What do you want to do Tails?" Cream asked.

I shrugged. I had never been to a carnival before. The closest I had ever gotten to one had been our visit to Casinopolis during our adventure with Metal Sonic. This was new to me.

"Hey I know! Let's go to the fun house. I've always wanted to see those stupid mirrors in the cartoons and I'm always up for a good laugh" Amy suggested. With no protests we were off to our first destination.

We entered the fun house, a long series of mirrors our only companions. Cream and Amy ran ahead of us, stepping before a long line of mirrors, some which made them appear tall and skinny while some made them look short and fat. Before each mirror they gave suppressed giggles, excited whispers and surprised looks. In general, they were happy. Sonic and I remained behind observing our dates. But it was harder for me to concentrate. It was awkward, after last night. We left off on less than friendly terms and his lack of recognition led me to believe he was ignoring me. I would be lying if I didn't say it hurt. But in the long run it would be better. The more he hated me the easier it would be when the time came. At least I could save him pain.

The house was large and it took us a while to finally reach the end. We exited and began to walk around randomly, unsure of where to go next.

"Look! Over there!" Amy shouted, pointing at the Tunnel of Love ride. She pulled on Sonics arm, leading him over towards the short line to get on.

"Amy….do we have to?"

"Yes Sonic. This is a date remember? And what's a date without a little romance?"

Sonic uttered a groan, allowing himself to be dragged. Cream and I stood there, unsure of what to do.

"So……do you want to go?" I asked, dreading the answer. I really, REALLY didn't want to go but it seemed rude not to ask.

"If you want to."

And there it was, the inescapable answer. It meant that I had to choose and the consequences would rest on my conscience. There was just no way to say no without hurting her feelings. I was good and trapped and worse, I had set myself up.

"Sure. Let's go" I answered with mock enthusiasm. We walked over towards the line finding ourselves two couples behind Sonic and Amy. The wait was short. Already Sonic and Amy had boarded a boat and the next couple was being prepared for departure.

"Tails? You sure you want to go through with this?" Cream asked.

I saw my golden opportunity. A chance to escape. But karma was out to get me that day as I stared into her expectant honey eyes. She really wanted to go on this ride. It was instinct that made me grab her hand, guilt that forced me to nod my head. There was no escape now.

We were ushered forward and took the next available boat. After a few safety instructions we were off into the damp, cool cave that made up the tunnel. Although Cream and I were seated next to each other, in my mind we were worlds apart. The tension was obvious but if Cream felt it, she didn't let on.

I turned to her staring at her features. She looked like she was in deep thought. I wanted to ask if she was okay but I felt our boat stop. It was then I realized the ride was over. We were helped out of our boat and made our way towards Sonic and Amy who were waiting for us at the exit.

"So, how was it? Did you guys have fun?" Amy asked, looking between us.

"Yeah, it was great" Cream responded, grabbing my hand.

"What about you Tails?"

I didn't know how to respond. I couldn't remember the ride. To me, it had only been a couple of seconds when in reality I knew it had to have been at least five minutes. But I hadn't been paying attention…..or rather, I was trying not to.

"Hello? Earth to Tails? You in there?" Amy asked, waving her hand in my face.

"Mmmm? I mean, yeah, it was really nice."

"Glad you liked it. Sonic and I were talking….well, mostly me anyway and we decided to go check out some of the prize stands. Maybe you could win something for Cream."

Cream squeezed my hand and I took it as a yes. I was actually relieved. Anything to take their minds off of the ride, to make this tension go away was welcomed by me.

"Sure, that sounds fun. Let's go."

We walked towards another section of Twinkle Park, a large open area which rested between the gigantic Fantasy Castle and Twinkle Stadium, a small stadium where those with talent came to perform and hope to be discovered. Sonic and Amy split apart from us and we all agreed to meet at the large ferris wheel afterwards.

The place was huge, filled with hundreds of furries of every sort. Children were playing with their parents, others were buying gifts for their loved ones back home and others were there with their lovers, simply enjoying the night.

I looked around, unsure where to start. I wasn't exactly good at games. A gentle pressure on my hand made me turn towards Cream who gave me a smile.

"You don't have to win anything for me Tails. I know how bad you are at games."

'Well….she doesn't have to rub it in my face.'

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked indignantly.

She gave a casual shrug.

"Come on now Tails. Are you forgetting you're talking to me? We've been playing games every Tuesday night for the last six years. Needless to say, I'm not holding my breath." She ended with a smirk.

I smiled in return, gently nudging her.

"Thanks, now I have to prove you wrong." I responded.

"You're welcome."

I sighed. Were all girls this manipulative?

We split from Sonic and Amy, deciding to meet up later. We walked around, observing other furries as they tried to win a prize. Some were good, some were decent, and most were what the Twinkle Park administration probably referred to as "easy money." Yeah….they were that bad.

It took more time trying to find a stand than actually staying around to play. I was about to give up and tell her I accepted defeat when the sound of a pistol going off caught my attention. I stopped, squeezing Creams hand, a signal she should stop too.

"Tails? What is it?"

"Come on" I whispered, ushering her to the stand. I stopped, my progress impeded by a small group of furries who were admiring the show provided. It was obviously a targeting game. Get a certain amount and you get a prize, depending on how many you hit. The first row was filled with small orange colored baby ducklings, each close enough to each other for an easy win, meaning a small prize like a pencil or a whistle that glows in the dark. The second row was a bit more spaced out and the ducks, now a dark green, were moving a bit faster. They were for the customers ranging from lucky to skilled. The third row was barely visible among the first two but I could tell they were moving fast. They were a dull copper color, glinting slightly in the light of the stand. That was for the real prizes.

"Hey, Cream? Which toy do you like?"

Cream gave me a puzzled expression but simply shrugged, beginning to look around. She gave a small hop and a squeal, pointing at a large, purple bear which lay near the back of the stand, too large to hang on display.

I nodded, making my way through the crowd towards the stands manager.

"How much to get that prize?" I asked in a casual tone.

The manager, a penguin with long, horn rimed glasses smirked.

"You gotta hit five gold colored ducks for that one kid."

"How many shots do I get?"

"Five"

All or nothing.

"Fine. How much?"

"Three dollars"

I placed the money on the counter, heading towards one of the pistols that lay on its holster. I looked around, checking for a good position. I decided to take the gun farthest to the right since the lighting was better and the wind didn't pick up as much from that angle.

Without a word I picked it up, making sure it worked. Seeing everything was okay I positioned it carefully, my eyes focusing. All foxes had that ability, to focus so intently that we could see a hair bristling on the fur of our prey. It was a handy ability…if you lived in the wild.

I waited, my breathing slowing, my body tensing. This brought back so many memories…..so many godforsaken memories. A glint of gold caught my eye and without thinking I shot, the sound of cardboard exploding completely lost on me. I coked the gun again, my eyes narrowing. I positioned myself again, firing with greater ease this time. The sound erupted a second time, a third, a fourth and finally a fifth, each time bringing back forgotten feelings, strange images and a deeper sense of self, like the animal in me was trying to get out.

I placed the gun back in its holster, turning towards the manager. A look of disbelief marred his features but I ignored it, walking up to him.

"I believe you owe the lady a prize?" I asked, voice low.

The manager slowly nodded, grabbing the prize and handing it to Cream. Cream gave a polite courtesy before following me out of the throng of people, all who gave me an odd look. We walked in silence for a few minutes, my mind returning to its previous state, my body relaxing. I had a thing about guns which is why I tried to avoid them. Their sound, their smell….so many hurtful memories. But I was in a constant war of technological evolution with Eggman, a war where victory and survival meant guns, lasers and missiles. It couldn't be avoided.

I was so lost within my own world I didn't realize Cream had stopped quite a distance behind me. It took me a while to acknowledge it, longer to turn around to stare at her.

"Cream?"

"What was that?"

Silence. I didn't know how to answer….I didn't want to answer. It was my own business.

"Tails….how do you know to shoot a gun?"

"I'm a mechanic Cream, I work with them. The tornado has them……..

"Tails, that wasn't just some laser fire like when we face Eggman. The look on your face….your eyes……" she ended with a shudder, her eyes glancing downward.

It was then I realized the problem. My stance, my aura….it scared her. I had been in hunter mode, my aura that of a predator. Cream sensed it and became frightened.

"Cream……..I'm sorry. Sometimes I become too involved……I didn't mean to scare you……."

Before I knew what was happening I felt her thin arms wrap around me, her honey eyes wide with fright.

"I know…..it's just…..that look…..it didn't suit you at all. Promise me you'll never get that look again."

'It isn't something that can be erased in a day.'

I nodded, trying to make her feel better. We turned, walking back in silence. We met Sonic and Amy waiting by the ferris wheel and decided to go on the ride before heading towards Fantasy Castle for the fireworks display. What came as a shock however was when Amy announced she would be riding with me. No one voiced a protest but I knew they were just as confused as I was.

Amy and I entered a compartment, awaiting the ferris wheels departure. It took a few minutes before we were off the ground. My gaze turned to the outside, to the furries which were rapidly becoming small spots, to the outline of the moon and stars, to the bright lights and sounds………..

"Tails, what is going on between you and Sonic?"

I quickly turned towards her, my heart beginning to beat faster. She was the first person ever to ask such a question. I didn't even know how to respond.

"Nothing. Nothing's going on."

"Don't lie to me Tails. You think I can't see it. You guys have barely said two words to each other the whole night and the hostility both of you give off…..I know something is going on so spill."

"Ask Sonic."

"I did….he changed the subject. Tails, this is hurting him a lot. He may not show it but I can see it in his demeanor. He needs us right now more than ever…..he needs you most of all."

There was something about Amy's sentence that caught my attention.

"Why does he need us for?"

Amy seemed to realize she'd made a mistake when she turned her gaze away. Now it was time for me to get some answers.

"Amy, why does he need me?"

The sudden stop of the ferris wheel cut our conversation short. We exited the ride and I couldn't help but turn towards Sonic. His face showed nothing but I wondered what Amy meant. Was Sonic in trouble?

Amy turned towards her watch.

"It's 7:56 guys. Let's go over to Fantasy Castle"

We nodded, making our way through the rapidly growing throng of people who all obviously had the same idea. Fantasy castle was an extremely large monument, a palace in every aspect. Surrounding it was an amazing garden with every type of flower imaginable. Its turrets ran as high as the sky itself, each structure standing proudly beneath the moons rays. The lake which surrounded it was crystalline, beautiful rainbow colored fish swimming within it. But it was the aura it gave off that attracted people the most. That aura of childhood, of innocence and a time when fairy tales were all we had to guide us in our dreams.

We found a spot by the garden, the benches there providing us a good spot to see the show. I sat on the grass, Creams small figure leaning against mine. Sonic and Amy sat on the benches, Amy's gaze admiring the colossal monument in front of her.

"The palace is beautiful isn't it Sonic?" Amy asked in a dreamlike stupor.

Sonic mumbled something resembling a "sure" before turning to stare into the distance.

"It's so romantic…the perfect place for a first kiss" Amy hinted and I rolled my eyes. If Amy wanted Sonic to kiss her so badly she could at least have the decency not to broadcast it to everyone. I really didn't need to hear about her personal life. I had mine to worry about.

A sudden excited murmur spread throughout the park and I could already see a few of the parks faculty setting up the fireworks. One of the men set up a small stand, placing a firework within it. He struck a match and lighted the fuse, running away.

"It's starting" Cream whispered and we could hear the small buzzing noise of the firecracker as the fuse reached its destination. The flame soon reached the core, sending the firecracker into the sky in a glorious streak of flame, a loud whizzing noise piercing my ears. I folded them back slightly, trying to accustom my hearing to the loud noise. The firecracker exploded into a litany of colors and patters. I could feel Cream get closer to me, resting her head on my shoulder.

"It's beautiful huh?" Cream whispered and I felt inclined to agree. It really was something to behold. Simplistic yet at the same time it made you feel like you were on equal ground with everyone around you. Everyone was in awe with the spectacle, everyone was enjoying it, everyone was letting go of their troubles, prejudices, hatred, bitterness, sadness to simply sit down and stare at something that would mean nothing in their lives when tomorrow came but right now meant the world.

I felt a presence behind me and turned to find Amy crouched behind Cream and I. I sent her a questioning glance and she simply smiled.

"Like I said…it's a perfect place for a first kiss"

Before I had time to respond I felt Amy place her hand on the back of my neck, propelling me towards Cream. Our lips met and my heart stopped. I watched as Creams eyes stared widely at me and I knew they mirrored my own. I felt something I hadn't felt in so long….disgust, complete and utter disgust at this mockery. I felt disgusted with myself. It never should have gotten this far. I felt as if I were raping Cream of something so special in a person's life. Their first kiss. This was my first kiss as well and Amy had ruined it for it for Cream…drove me deeper into the web of my deceit. My disgust threatened to make me lose my lunch then and there.

With a shove I pushed myself away from Cream, landing on my elbows a few spaces away. Cream's eyes were still large and I could see confusion and hurt in them. I turned towards Amy, confusion in her eyes as well.

'How dare she…..she had no right….she had no fucking right'

I wiped my mouth with my sleeve, feeling dirty. I stood and it took all I had not to hit Amy then and there.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU! HOW DARE YOU DO THAT? YOU HAD NO RIGHT……" I screamed, taking an unconscious step towards Amy.

Amy's eyes widened with something akin to fright. I guess I came on too strong for I could hear the shuffle of a chair and turned to see Sonic walk in front of Amy. He didn't say anything but his stance told me to back off. I shook with rage, wanting more than anything to vent my frustration and Sonic was just as good as anyone to start.

"No! Stop Tails!" Cream shouted, grabbing my arm. I flinched, breaking away from her. She shouldn't touch me. I'm disgusting; I took something away from her she could never get back.

I turned towards all of them, loathingentering my heart. My first instinct was to run, to run away from them and I obliged, taking to the air. I just wanted to get away, as far away as possible. I flew for minutes on end, reaching the train station and buying a ticket. I wanted to simply fly home but I couldn't. My tails couldn't fly me long distances. I sat in a compartment, daring anyone to talk to me, let alone get close but no one did.

The train ride lasted longer than usual for me. I was the first one to exit when it reached my stop. Sometime during our ride Mother Nature decided to add to my frustration by making it rain. But I didn't run home. Instead, I allowed myself to be washed in the earth's pure water. I wanted it to wash away my sin, to wash away my disgust and pain but it didn't. It only made me feel numb.

I entered my home in a trance, making my way upstairs without a glance at anything. I could feel my self loathing return. I had finally gone too far. I entered my bedroom, taking off my clothes and allowing them to land where they may. I looked towards the bed, at the groceries. I wanted to throw them in the garbage and let them rot for all I cared but I didn't. Instead I grabbed them all and placed them in the refrigerator. If nothing else, I could alway let them rot in the refrigerator. I walked back into my room and headed towards the bathroom. I entered the bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror.

Who was I? I've created so many faces for myself I can't even remember which is mine. Did I even have a face or was I simply an illusion? I couldn't remember anymore. Maybe once I had been someone but lies and deceit had marred me too much. I was no one now. I couldn't even say I was Tails anymore without feeling disgust.

I opened the medicine cabinet, looking for my toothbrush when the object entered my view again. This time however, my conscience refused to warn me about the repercussions of what I wanted to do. Maybe my conscience was finally dead, it too an illusion.

I walked over towards my bed, looking at my exposed body. As much as I wanted to simply do it where I wanted to I had to be smart. It wouldn't do to do it someplace I couldn't hide later. I picked my thighs, already a bit scarred from previous treatments. Without hesitation I placed the cool, metallic object against my skin, feeling as it pierced my flesh and tissue. There was a painful throb accompanying it but it added to the release. Without pain, you couldn't feel pleasure because without pain, we wouldn't know what pleasure was. Like light and dark, pleasure and pain couldn't exist without the other.

I lay back against the soft mattress, the feeling of the warm liquid against my leg soothing. It made me feel sleepy. I missed this feeling, the feeling of knowing I was releasing all my sins through my blood and wounds. It was my way of repenting. I wondered if this was my true face. It was so much like my mothers.

I sat up, a sleepy feeling invading my limbs. I didn't feel like standing so instead I pulled off one of the pillow covers, wrapping it around my leg to stop the bleeding. During the night it would clot and by tomorrow it would lay forgotten, another scar to remind me of my lies. I opened my bedside drawer, taking out my pajamas and changed, going to sleep afterwards, hoping to forget the horrible day.

I awoke during the night feeling cold. I shivered a bit, curling into a small ball to try and shake the sudden chill that invaded my body. I wasn't sure if I had left the air conditioner on again. I sat up, turning on my bedside light to go check when I saw the culprit. There was blood everywhere, staining the sheets around me, tinting my fur a dark orange. I looked at my handmade bandage to see the blood was rapidly seeping through the thick material.

"Shit" I whispered, trying to stand but I wound up falling on the floor. I could already guess what happened. In my excitement I miscalculated how deep I pressed the blade to my skin, probably cutting a nerve or vein pretty deeply by just how much blood I was losing.

I was starting to lose the feeling in my leg. I knew this was serious. I should call a doctor but I couldn't. A doctor meant others finding out that the "great" Miles Prower liked to do when she was alone. It also probably meant them finding out my secret. After all, with the surgery, exams and tests they would have to do, it would be easy to discover I was a girl. Then they would call Sonic and the others and tell them. That was not an option.

'You could always call him…..'

My head snapped up, my gaze scanning the phone. I felt relieved. He would help me. He always did whenever I screwed myself up. I struggled a bit to the receiver but reached it, dialing the number. A few rings later I could hear someone pick up, a deep voice answering.

"Who is this?"

"It's me…Tails."

"What do you want?"

"I need you to come over."

"Why?"

"I ….cut myself again. I went too far and I think I cut a nerve or vein. I'm bleeding too much."

Silence.

"Are the keys in the same place as before?"

"Yes"

"Do whatever you can to stay conscious until I get there. If you go to sleep, you die, do you understand?"

"Yes"

The dial tone was my response. I hung up, struggling to get off the floor. I managed but only by grasping the bedside table. I limped slowly towards the bathroom, using the wall for support. I reached the bathroom and sat myself on the toilet seat. I turned on the water, splashing it in my face to keep myself awake. I could only hope he got here soon.

Half an hour went by and I could feel myself losing the fight. I was nearly unconscious, the water losing its effect. I stood but feel in the same spot again. I looked down to see a small puddle of blood surrounding me.

'So this is how its going to end huh? I guess I really am my mothers daughter' I smirked.

The sound of the bedroom door opening caught my attention. Footsteps echoed throughout the room before they stopped in front of my door. The bathroom door opened and there he stood, his face stoic, uncaring of the bloody mess everywhere. He walked towards me, picking me up in his arms and walking towards my bed. He sat me down so my legs were hanging over the side of the bed. He kneeled, beginning to unwind the blood soaked bandage. I looked away, unable to look at the sight. It looked horrible, the crimson liquid everywhere, the wound lost within the sea of red.

"You went too far this time…." He whispered casually, opening a case which lay perched near his foot.

"I know"

"Your usually more careful than this"

"It was a rough night"

He didn't respond, simply took out a bottle of alcohol and a cotton ball. He began to wipe the mess away, and it took everything I had not to yell out at the stinging sensation the liquid caused.

"You know I have to stitch this up don't you?"

I looked away. I was afraid of that.

"Yes….I know."

I could hear him rummaging through the bag before he placed a large glass bottle filled with dark brown liquid in front of me.

"You know what to do"

I nodded hesitantly, taking off the bottle cap and, taking a deep breath, downed the content, the liquid burning my throat. I had to stop when it became too much, sputtering some of it out before taking another swing. I continued until the bottle was almost empty, a warm, sleepy feeling invading my limbs.

"Lie down"

I did, wanting badly to go to sleep. I felt the small pinprick of the needle as it entered my flesh. It still stung but not as badly as it could have. He stitched for a few minutes since the wound was large. Soon, the needles prick stopped and I looked down to see him tying the knot of his handiwork. He rummaged through his bag again, withdrawing a small container. He opened it, dipping his hands in halfway and taking out a large quantity of white cream. He applied it to the wound and I could feel the small throb caused by the wound begin to ebb away. He brought out a small box, taking out a large bandage and began to wrap it around my leg.

"I'm done. Go to sleep."

"What about you?"

"I'll stay here and keep you under observation."

I nodded, closing my eyes, the drugs effect finally kicking in.

I awoke the next morning and I could tell by the suns position it was late in the day. I sat up, flinching a bit at the sting of my wound but it wasn't so bad. The cream was helpingtake most of the pain away. I looked around, unable to find him and wondered if he had already left. I got up, stretching and looking at the sheets, the walls and the floor. I sighed.

"Looks like I'll be busy today with cleanup."

A small grumble in my stomach alerted me it was time to eat. I usually didn't awaken with an appetite but after last night, I could understand why. My body needed to regain the nourishment it lost.

I slowly made my way downstairs, my wound not allowing for too much movement. I began to walk towards the kitchen when I felt someone grab me by my shoulder. I jumped a bit, turning around and clutched my chest.

"Don't do that!" I reprimanded.

"You shouldn't be up. Your stitches will come undone if you move around too much."

"I couldn't help it. I thought you were gone and I'm starving."

"Before you eat I have to make sure the wound is closing up."

I nodded, making my way over towards the couch.He kneeled before me again, undoing my bandage and looking at the wound. I looked at it, feeling a bit disgusted by the sight. The skin around it was a deep purplish black, some of the blood having crusted upon the wound. He looked at the stitches, making sure they were still sturdy. I was deeply absorbed in what he was doing when his question jarred me out of my musings.

"A year ago you told me you were going to stop doing this to yourself and you were succeeding quite well. What triggered this sudden change?"

I shook my head but he simply stared at me, his eyes questioning. A hint of annoyance surfaced and before I could stop myself I grabbed his hand, bringing up the long sleeve of his shirt. On his arms rested a litany of cuts, most new ones and a few from times past. There were a few that were deep enough to scar while others were simple scratches.

"I'll tell you why if you tell me about these." I answered.

In an instant he withdrew his arm, bringing the sleeve back down. He understood my message. There were some things you didn't discuss and this was one of them. Just like he didn't want to talk about his reasons I didn't want to talk about mine.

"Fair enough" he whispered, placing the bandage back on. He placed the container from before on my table.

"Put it on at least twice a day. It will stop the pain and heal your wound quicker."

I nodded, watching as he stood to make his leave. I stood as well, accompanying him. I opened the door, looking outside to make sure no one was around.

"The coast is clear."

He made his way out, stopping just before he passed the doorway.

"You lost a lot of blood. I can't help you with that. You're going to have to see a doctor and get some form of transfusion.

"You know I can't……"

"They won't know why. Simply tell them you're sick. They'll run some tests, determine your blood quantity is too low and give you the transfusion. They will never have to see the wound."

I found logic in his words. As long as I never showed them the wound they could only assume I was sick and needed a transfusion. I looked up to thank him but he was gone, no trace he was ever there.

"Thank you" I whispered towards the only person who knew my secret, the only person who knew who I really was even if I didn't know it myself.

I closed the door, making my way over towards the couch. I was exhausted, too exhausted to even make breakfast. I sat down, leaning against the cushion when the sound of the phone brought an end to any hope of going to sleep. I was tempted to simply let it ring but by the 8th ring I was pretty sure they weren't going to stop. I picked it up, annoyance giving a sharp edge to my voice.

"Hello!"

"…….It's me, Sonic."

"…….What do you want?"

"Eggmans back. We need you ...now."

I rolled my eyes. Why now of all times?

"Can't you do it without me? I'm sure the great Sonic can handle Eggmans stupidity for one day."

"He's using a new version of the Egg Carrier and we can't reach it without the tornado." He answered, anger evident in his tone.

I sighed, damning Sonic and Eggman for their stupid fights.

"Fine. I'll be there soon."

"Were at Station Square Park."

"Whatever" I answered before hanging up. It looked like my day was ruined. What else was new? I felt anger welling inside of me. Eggman picked the wrong day to piss me off.

And that's Chapter 3 people. Man, I need to go lie down. Thank you for reading my story. I appreciate the time you've taken to read it and appreciate those who review.