Me: (Sitting on the back of Cookie the Llama, watching area around her warily. Pistol is still out. Notices readers after a second) You guys just don't seem to get it, do you? There are scary little rodent things running around right now. Staying here is like asking for a death wish.

SD: We're gonna die. We're gonna die. We're gonna die.

Me: (Looks over at him, half amused, half annoyed) Are you capable of saying anything else?

SD: No. We're gonna die. We're gonna die. We're gonna die.

Me: You know, you just contradicted yourself

SD: Shut up.

Me: You did it again.

SD: Shut the hell up.

Me: Language, dearie.

SD: Fine. Please shut the hell up.

Me: Why should I?

SD: Because the possums and monkeys are trying to kill us.

Me: (Sarcastic) No!

SD: You are annoying as hell.

Me: And proud of it.

SD: (Looks upwards) Why can't you be normal?

Me: Cuz. If I were normal, nothing would be fun.

SD: Nothing is ever fun.

Me: What about making out with a banana?

SD: Excuse me?

Me: (States slowly and clearly as if talking to a child) What about making out with a banana?

SD: What about it? No, wait, where the hell did it come from?

Me: Don't you remember?

SD: Remember what?

Me: Wow. I thought it wasn't possible to forget something like that. (Shakes head in awe) You've broken yet another one of my ideas of reality.

SD: What're you talking about?

Me: Do you remember last year's New Year's Eve party?

SD: (Getting increasingly annoyed) What about it?

Me: Well, it was almost midnight, and everybody was looking around for someone to do the good luck kiss with.

SD: (Confused) So?

Me: Shush. I'm not done yet. You were kind of drunk, so you weren't really, well, let's just say you weren't one of the sanest people in the room.

SD: (Mutters) I was saner than you were.

Me: (Ignores rude comment) You kept on wailing about how bad the year had been, and how desperately you needed better luck this year. Everyone wanted you to suf- uh, I mean, enjoy yourself, so no one would let you kiss them.

SD: Is there a point to this story?

Me: Yes. So, desperate idiot that you are, just as the clock chimed twelve, you grabbed a banana and started kissing it.

SD: You're making this up.

Me: No. In fact, you made out with that banana at least thirty-five minutes. After you were done, you declared it was the best make-out session you ever had. It was pretty funny.

SD: Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.

Me: (Smirks triumphantly) And it gets even better.

SD: Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.

Me: My Uncle Eddy and I took a picture of it. Oh, and we recorded the entire thing with our camera.

SD: I hate you.

Me: (Mutters) So does the Pentagon.

SD: (Stares at her uneasily) What do you mean?

Me: (Shrugs)

SD: (Scoots away)

Me: (Shrugs)

SD: (Momentarily silent) Hey, what ever happened to the Disclaimer?

Me: You don't want me to say.

SD: Why?

Me: Why do you think?

SD: The poss- (Eyes go wide) Oh. Ew.

Me: Yeah. Whatever. Hey, those reader people are still here.

SD: (Grumpily) Yeah, so?

Me: Ah, is snookums cranky-wanky? Does he need a little nappy-wappy?

SD: Please shut the hell up.

Me: No. Anyway, (Turns to readers) None of the characters, except the obvious ones, are mine. They are Tamora Pierce's.

SD: You'd think they would have known that by now.

Me: (Silent for a moment, then goes up to SD's ear and shouts) BELUGA WHALE!

SD: (Jumps) WHAT THE HELL!

Me: Hee hee. That was funny.

SD: Grrr…

Me: (Points to his head) The vein in your head is popping out.

SD: Grrr…

Me: I know what you need.

SD: What? (Eye twitches)

Me: Happy Time.

SD: (Eyes go wide and he backs away) Oh, no you don't.

Me: (Pulls out syringe) Yep. Time for your tranquilizer.

SD: AHHHHH! (Runs off)

Me: Dearie, wait! You need Happy Time! (Runs after him with syringe in hand)

Win and Lossby Eveiveneg

"Move it, Trainee."

Gayle looked at him amusedly. "Patient, aren't we?" She asked with a smile. She picked up the bow she'd chosen, as well as the bowstring, hooking them together with a little difficulty. She didn't want to seem too perfect, right? That would make everyone even more suspicious.

"Come on, then." She gestured to the crowd. "Our audience awaits." He looked at her disgustedly. She grinned in return and turned to the targets. "Person with most accurate shooting wins." She told him. "Forty paces from the target. Three arrows each. No more, no less."

She examined an arrow. It seemed in good condition. She selected two more, checking each one to make sure they hadn't been tampered with.

Satisfied, she turned to Gustav expectantly. "Ready? Or are you still fixing your hair?" She taunted. He scowled at her and she simply looked at him innocently. She heard a couple of badly restrained laughs.

"Well, since you're so confident in your abilities, why don't you go first?" She shook her head, eyes laughing. "No, no. I think not. After you, monsieur." She bowed and looked up at him with mocking eyes, hiding her uneasiness.

She wanted to pretend. She wanted to pretend that she was bad at this kind of thing, but she couldn't. Not with Gustav involved. If he had been some other guy, somebody she didn't despise so thoroughly, she'd have lost to him. But he wasn't. No, he had to be slimy tongued Gustav of Snow's Cliff. Snow's Cliff. It was a fitting name. The cold words mirrored his manner.

He glared at her and began to stretch his arms, wasting her time and patience. She took a slow, quiet breath, calming herself. He was arrogant, conceited, conniving, and, worst of all, he had an interest in her. He had to, why else would he bother with her? There were so many others that he could, as he put it, seduce.

When she opened her eyes again, Gustav had set up his bow and was ready to go. "After you, monsieur." She waved a hand. He pressed his lips together in annoyance and picked up an arrow. He pulled the string back in a practiced motion and, after taking a moment to take aim, let go. It landed in the middle, vibrating slightly from the impact. He smirked at her and did the same with the other two. They were all clustered neatly in the middle. He gave her a cocky smile and waited for her to go.

She took a deep breath. This was it. The last moment in which she was a normal, hopeless trainee. She was going to miss the security of being utterly terrible in all she did.

She walked up to the imaginary line, where she was supposed to shoot from. She had a different target, so as not to get the judge they had confused about the arrows. The distance was small to her. Her father had made her practice from much farther away and she'd done fine. She had no doubt about this.

Calming herself again, Gayle picked up the arrow and easily fitted it to the bow. She swung the bow up and shot without even bothering to aim. She didn't wait to see the arrow land before picking up the next one. She shot the next two in quick succession.

It was entirely quiet. Everyone had known how bad a shot she was, or, at least, she'd pretended to be. She heard the judge walk up to the targets, probably sizing up the shots.

"Trainee Falconer wins." He announced rather faintly.

Without looking around at the crowd, she walked up to Gustav and whispered in his ear, "Be sure to keep your promise, Snow's Cliff." He didn't even seem to register her words. He was staring at the targets. She glanced at it quickly, grimacing when she saw that all three arrows had landed in the same place, splitting them all in half, except for the last one.

'Why the hell do I have to be such a good shot?' She wondered. 'It would have been enough just to cluster them in the center. But no, I had to go and be perfect and shear the arrows in two.' She quickly unstrung the bowstring, coiled it up, and put it away. She put the bow away and looked back at the crowd. They seemed to still be in a state of shock.

Gayle used this to her advantage. With one last look at the people gathered there, gaping at the targets, she ran off. She didn't know exactly where she was going, but she needed at least a minute or two of silence before being bombarded with questions.

Before she knew it, she was at the foot of Balor's Needle. She didn't stop to think as she dashed up the outer stairs. She didn't look for rusted steps, just pounded on up. She thought she heard stairs crumbling, but ignored it.

She skidded to a stop when she reached the top. Somebody was here already. She blinked in surprise as Kaelin of Eaton's Spire turned to her. "Blossom?" She asked confusedly. Even in her current state she was able to greet him in a joking manner.

He glared at her with dark brown eyes. "Why do you have to call me that?" He demanded. She grinned happily. "Because it annoys you." He threw his hands up. "I can't win."

She nodded in agreement. "Nope, you can't. When did you get back?" He'd been gone the last four or five weeks, helping the King's Own with taking care of a raid in the town Owl's Hollow.

"Just a few minutes ago." He replied easily. "So how've you been?" She shrugged and stared off into the distance for a minute.

Suddenly she walked over and seized him in an unexpected hug. "Glad you're back." She told him quietly. "I missed you."

He raised an eyebrow. "Missed me, did you?" He asked in an amused tone. Despite his apparent amusement, his heart was racing from her touch, as well as her words. What did they mean? He couldn't think straight. He needed her to move away for a moment.

She grinned. "No one else is as much fun to annoy, as you are Blossom." He glared at her, hiding his disappointment. Why was he disappointed? He didn't even want to think about that. "I could take that as a compliment, or an insult." She shrugged. "Take it in any way you like." She responded.

She looked off into the distance again. What had she just done? Had she really just hugged Kaelin? What had possessed her to do that? Though she hadn't realized it until just then, she had missed him. He was easy to get along with, and easy to annoy. She liked that. He'd been her first actual friend. Percy was great, but he was just like a father figure to her. Before she'd come to Tortall, she'd never had friends. The closest people to her had been her parents. Animals were kind to her, but they weren't the same as an actual friend.

"Hey," Kaelin's voice startled her from her thoughts. "You okay?" She glanced over at him and smiled. He actually looked concerned. "Yeah." She sighed. "Things have been… Weird." She finally decided.

"How so?" He asked. She shrugged. "Just…off. I'm still kind of getting used to the Rider's training schedule, and all." She wasn't so sure if she wanted to tell him about the match, despite the fact he was her friend.

"Speaking of the Riders," He started. I winced. He'd heard about my supposedly bad shooting. "I've been told that you aren't the best archer." He grinned at me. "You don't know how good that makes me feel." She punched him playfully. "Though it may be true, I don't appreciate it."

She leaned against the rail, closing her eyes. It was so peaceful up here. She could hear the chirping of birds, the rustling of small animals… And the shouts of someone calling her name. Her eyes snapped open.

"Gayle!"

"Gayle! Gayle, where are you?"

"GAYLE!"

She swore softly. Kaelin looked over at her. "What's wrong? Did you just remember you had an appointment with the Seamstress?" He asked with a small grin. She didn't reply. She was too busy listening for the people again. "Gayle?" He put a hand on her shoulder. She jumped. "What?"

"Are you okay?" He asked concernedly. She nodded slightly. "Listen," She said slowly, still trying to make out her name from below. "I gotta go…" She turned around and started towards the stairs. "All right." He said a little uncertainly. "I'll see you later."

She nodded, preoccupied. She didn't want to talk to her friends, but she had to. It wasn't going to be easy. That was for sure.

She'd made it down about three steps when she suddenly felt something crumbling underneath her. Looking down, she saw that she'd stepped on an extremely weak rusted stair. 'That's not good.' She thought bemusedly. The rust-weakened stair bent and fell to pieces under her weight.

She yelped as her leg went through the hole. Her skin caught and tore on the jagged edges. She inhaled sharply and closed her eyes in pain. Focusing on keeping herself calm, she slowly drew her leg out of the hole. She took a look at it and winced. The big vein in her leg had been severed. Blood was spilling all over her clothes.

"Gayle!" She turned around to see the speaker. Kaelin hurried down the steps. "What happened?" He asked. "I stepped on a rusted stair." She said in a surprisingly calm voice. "It broke and my leg went through." He put his hand on her shoulder consolingly.

"Let me see it." She shifted her leg towards him, holding back a gasp as pain shot up her thigh. Kaelin gently lifted her leg up onto his lap. As he examined the wound he bit his lip. He tore the lower half of her breeches off so the blood wouldn't dry with it stuck to it. He pulled off his tunic and ripped it into strips. He slowly began to wrap the linen around the cut.

She bit her tongue to keep from screaming. She unconsciously gripped his arm, knuckles turning white. He continued working on the bandage, slowly and surely. Gayle forced herself to relax, though the pain was excruciating. Kaelin's hands were gentle and steady, making her calm down faster than the thoughts of rain could. Soon he was done, though the pain wasn't gone.

"Shhh." He whispered. "It's all right." She was biting her lip. "I have to clean out the wound, okay?" She nodded slowly.

He set his hands on her thigh and began to concentrate on clearing out the infection in the cut. Blue-green fire seeped out of his hands and enveloped her leg. Her muscles relaxed and she let out a soft sigh of relief. The fierce burning on her leg was leaving and coolness replaced it.

After the rust was gone, Kaelin turned to her. She was slumped over. "Gayle?" He asked softly. She glanced up at him with her green eyes. "Do you want me to heal it completely?" She nodded.

He turned back to the wound and began focusing on making it close up. The wound slowly began to fix itself, pulling the bits of muscle and skin back to normal. When it was finally done, he opened his eyes. Gayle was watching his magic disappear with interest.

"What do you find so intriguing?" She looked up, startled, then sighed. "I was just thinking. That's all."

She was fighting to keep her eyes open. "Tired?" She nodded sleepily. "C'mere." He pulled her onto his lap, ignoring her small protests. "Lean on me. You need rest and you can't do it just lying on the stairs." For once, Gayle did as she was told. She curled into a ball and rested her head on his chest. "I'll get you back to the barracks." He told her. She nodded slowly, already falling asleep.

When he was sure she wasn't awake, he pulled on the leg of her severed breeches. It would look kind of strange if she was missing part of her clothes. He grunted as he stood up. She moved slightly, but didn't wake up. He decided it would be better if he went down the other stairs. The outer ones didn't seem so safe now.

OOOOOOOOOO

That one was pretty short. Sorry, sorry. I'll try harder next time. I'm just tired. I had to make stupid oatmeal raisin cookies. I refused to eat them, and was later on tricked into eating them. Figures. I thought it tasted weird.

Yeah, there are the pointless blatherings of my life. My mom's under the impression that I'll win the spelling bee on Tuesday. I hope not. That won't make things easy. Washington... Nah, that's not me. Well, anyways, look for me on tv, or something. No idea what channel, just look. I'll be the really tall kid with a yellow Nessie shirt on. Oh, and glasses, if I can find them...

Anyways, two more chapters to submit opinions. Toodles!

Eveiveneg aka the Badger Hunter