Conversations of Chemistry Chapter Two

Ryan ran a tired hand over his face as he headed towards the pool house. It had been a long day. In both bad, good, and better than good ways, but a long day nonetheless. He was looking forward to a nice, quiet…

…evening with Seth. He sighed heavily as he entered the pool house to find Seth sitting in one of the easy chairs, giving him a smile that could only mean trouble. "What's up, man?" he asked wearily, heading for his bed and flopping on it.

"Well, Ryan. It occurs to me we haven't really gotten a chance to talk today…" Ryan lifted himself up on his elbows and raised his eyebrows skeptically at him. "…other than that time earlier where we talked about what happened with me and the dean," Seth added hastily. "But I just don't feel like we got enough good Seth/Ryan time in, you know?"

"What do you want, Seth?" Ryan tiredly asked the ceiling, knowing it was pointless to say anything else.

"Do you have to sound so cynical?" Seth protested. "I just wanted to, you know, talk about our days, maybe about the family, about how you and Marissa had sex last night…"

Ryan came up in his bed like a springboard. "What did you just say?" he asked dumbly.

Seth was smirking, clearly enjoying the reaction he'd gotten. "I hate to tell you this dude, but you and Marissa left a little something behind last night." When Ryan still looked blank, he elaborated. "Like a condom wrapper."

"Crap," Ryan groaned, falling back on his bed. It wasn't his version of ideal to talk about this with Seth- and he had no doubt Marissa was getting the same treatment from Summer- before they even talked about it with each other, but he'd have better luck trying to outrun a bullet now that Seth was on topic. "I can't believe it took you this long," he muttered.

"Hey, I made an attempt to respect your privacy at first," Seth claimed. Ryan shot him a Look. "Fine. You asked me about me and you know I'm powerless against that. But I'm not being detracted now!"

"Seth…" Ryan sighed. "Come on, man. This is Marissa. I'm not going to brag like she's some piece of ass I bagged."

"I take offense to that!" Seth said defensively. "Summer is more than that too and I tell you stuff."

"You volunteer that information," Ryan pointed out dryly. "I don't ask for it."

"I wouldn't have to ask if you volunteered," Seth said wisely. Ryan simply shook his head; he should have expected that response. "Dude, come on! In all seriousness, this is a REALLY big deal. It's a big step for you two; you've waited a long time."

"I know it's a big deal," Ryan conceded, sitting all the way up again. "It's…it's Marissa. For any experience I've had, I've never done anything like this before. It's never mattered this much."

"So?" Seth prompted. "Man, you don't have to give me stats but give me something. How was it?"

Unbidden, flashbacks of the night before slammed into Ryan. The knowledge that they weren't going to stop this time hitting him like a fist in the gut…how his hands had been shaking slightly as she first took his wife beater off, then he'd returned the favor to her tank top…lowering himself to the bed and feeling the warmth of her skin completely against his for the first time…the touch and taste of parts of her body he'd only fantasized about before…the feel of her lips against his own, his chest, and his neck…the way it had felt to be inside of her.

"Dude," Seth said, impressed. Ryan snapped out of his stupor. "That good, huh?"

Ryan grinned in spite of himself. "Yes, it was good," he admitted. "It was really good."

Seth raised his eyebrows. "Wow. As the wise Sanford Cohen once said, really good for you is like singing from the tree tops." He tapped his fingers against the arm of the chair. "So…how many times?"

"You said no stats," Ryan snapped back at him.

"Come on, that question is TAME," Seth insisted. "You can't even give me that much?"

Ryan rolled his eyes. "More than once, okay? Happy?"

Seth chuckled in satisfaction. "Couldn't get enough of you? Good for…" he trailed off at Ryan's warning glare. "Okay, next topic," he said quickly. "So…I mean, where are you guys now? I mean, she's staying in town now, so you guys are still in the same place. That's something."

Thank God. Marissa had fallen asleep quickly after their last marathon, contentedly curling up in his arms. He'd stayed awake most of the night just watching her, his heart aching. How was he supposed to say good-bye to her now? He'd never felt anything remotely like what he felt for her, and he'd never allowed himself to even feel so much for HER until now. He hadn't regretted what they'd done for a second, but deep down he knew it opened flood gates he couldn't shut. He was completely, totally in love with this girl. There was no turning back now for any reason, not even a little. He'd twisted himself up so many different ways about a long distance relationship in those few short hours, at one point wildly considering actually going to Hawaii with her, that a small, selfish part of him had been relieved when it was clear that wasn't happening. He hated to see her hurting. He hated to see her faith in her father further shattered. But when she'd made it clear that she was okay, that she was stronger than maybe even she had given herself credit for, he hadn't been able to breathe a sigh of relief that she wouldn't be leaving after all, that they could go back to their original plan of sticking together this last year of high school. "No, it is good," Ryan admitted. "Not that her dad hurt her again, but that she's not leaving."

"So have you guys talked or anything?" Seth asked curiously. "You said you know this is a big deal."

Ryan shrugged. "When would we have? Jimmy literally woke us up calling Marissa and that understandably took up a lot of her attentions. I don't want to bug her or her mom tonight." As badly as he wanted to see her; he might as well accept that lack of sleep now. "I'll head over there in the morning."

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," Seth advised him. Ryan gave him another Look and he relented. "Okay, you probably do a lot of things I haven't done and can't do, but you know what I mean. Good luck with that."

Ryan chuckled. "Thanks, man." He hoped he wouldn't need it.

Marissa went to enter the Cohen house the way she always did, but faltered at the last second. After everything that had gone down, she wasn't sure how she should behave there. Hesitantly, she rang the doorbell, praying Seth or Ryan would answer.

No such luck. "Marissa!" Sandy said in surprise as he opened the door. "I wasn't expecting to see you tonight. Come on in!" He opened the door wider for her to enter and she stepped past him into the foyer.

"Hi, Mr. Cohen," she said tentatively as he turned to face her.

Sandy sighed. "Marissa, you haven't called me that in years." His face softened. "I apologize if I made you feel badly when I told Ryan to stop seeing you; that wasn't my intention."

"No, no, it's cool," Marissa said hastily, not wanting to get into that conversation. "I get it. And there's also you graciously agreeing to let me stay in your house- and I blew you off."

Sandy chuckled. "I was actually impressed you turned him down," he admitted. "It showed a lot of maturity and guts on your part; that more than anything made me reconsider my stance on you two."

Marissa bit her lip. "I don't want him to mess up his life either, especially not for me. I want him to be okay, to have a good life."

"Ah, I know that," Sandy sighed again. "I think I jumped the gun a little there. You were an easy scapegoat; Ryan's issues with impulsive behavior go beyond you. Besides, I saw how upset he was when he thought you were leaving. It isn't going to do him any good to lose one more person he loves."

Marissa smiled in spite of herself at being included in the group of people Ryan loves by Sandy. "I could try to talk to him," she offered tentatively. "I don't want him doing anything like that for me again, either."

Sandy smiled. "So we're a team now? I'd like that."

Marissa giggled a little. "I guess. Team Ryan!"

Sandy laughed and reached out to hug her. "I hope you know you're always welcome in this house, especially in times like these. I'm sorry about your father."

"Me too," Marissa admitted, gratefully accepting the embrace.

"How's your mother?" he asked as he pulled away and walked with her further into the house.

Marissa shrugged. "Hard to say, really. She had a total meltdown when I first told her, but she calmed down after that. She's asleep now."

"And your father?" Sandy asked somewhat hesitantly.

Marissa looked down and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She knew there was a point Sandy and Jimmy had been close."I told him not to come back," she admitted painfully. "I wasn't angry or anything, I just can't do this anymore. And neither can Mom. He was in really bad shape. I don't even know what happened this time; I don't think I want to."

Sandy touched her back sympathetically, somehow proud of the way this girl had grown up in just a year. "I think you did the right thing, if that helps at all."

"Right thing about what?" Kirsten asked as she came down the stairs. "Oh, Marissa! I didn't know you were here."

Marissa blinked in surprise. "Kirsten!" she exclaimed. "Oh my God, I didn't even know you were back. It's good to see you."

Kirsten reached out to give her a hug. "It's good to see you too, sweetie. You look good, considering everything that's been going on."

Marissa just nodded a little uncomfortably; she didn't really feel right talking about the events of the summer with Kirsten right now. "I'm glad you're home," she said simply, and was thankfully saved from any further conversation when Seth and Ryan wandered into the room.

Ryan's face lit up when he saw her. "Hey," he grinned, walking over and putting a hand on her back. "I didn't think I'd see you tonight."

Marissa shrugged. "My mom's asleep; nothing I can do for her right now. This seemed like the place to be." Seth coughed conspicuously behind her and she looked over at him, realizing he was staring at her and smirking. She frowned at him in confusion until she realized he knew exactly what Summer knew. Closing her eyes in embarrassment, she wanted to sink into the floor. To her further horror, Sandy seemed to pick up on the vibe.

"Why don't you two go into the pool house and have some privacy?" he suggested kindly.

Ryan pounced on that opportunity. "Thanks. See you guys later," he said, practically dragging Marissa out of the room.