A Way of Working Out

Chapter 11

The next morning, Haley spent hours trying to decide how to break the news to Lucas. She also contemplated who to call first, finally deciding to talk to Nathan first. If he had for some reason decided that he couldn't handle the fact that a part of her heart would always belong to Lucas, she could just choose Lucas instead. Haley immediately scolded herself for the thought. She could never do that to Lucas, or herself. When she finally called Nathan, she got the answering machine. He and caller id, but she wanted to make sure he knew she called.

Nathan sat in his living room with Tim and Jake, talking about what had happened with Haley.

Tim looked at him in amazement, "You proposed to her? As in marriage? After just one month?"

"I know that she's the one," he paused and looked a Jake, "Besides, I've known her since 8th grade. We already have a history, well kinda."

Jake spoke up, "If you truly believe that she's the one, you're gonna have to accept the fact that she'll always have a spot in her heart for Lucas."

"I know, but it's hard."

"Answer me one question. What about Kristy?"

Nathan just glared at him.

"Well?"

"She was my first. Of course there's a spot in my heart for her."

"Exactly. Isn't it the same thing for Haley?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

Just then the phone rang. Tim looked at the caller id, "555…it's Haley."

"Don't answer!" Nathan said quickly, "Let the machine get it."

"Nathan, when you get this message, please call me. I really need to talk to you."

Jake looked at Tim, then Nathan, "Dude, that doesn't sound like the voice of someone who wants to break up."

"He's right. Call her back, right now."

"I'll call her later."

"Fine, whatever you think is best," Jake rolled his eyes.

"But we're leaving now," Tim stood, "Call us after you've talked to her."

Haley wandered around the house, busying herself with small tasks, hoping Nathan would call soon. It had already been more than an hour. Maybe she sounded too desperate. She was thinking about calling Teresa to see if he was over there. Suddenly the phone rang, it was Nathan. "Hello," she tried to play it cool.

"Hello. How are you?"

"I'm better. How about you?"

"Can't complain too much."

"That's good."

Nathan couldn't stand the small talk any longer, "So what did you need to talk about?"

"My decision."

"Oh."

"Can we meet somewhere and talk? I can't do this over the phone."

"I guess."

"How about the old ball field, in 30 minutes."

"I'll be there."

When Nathan arrived at the high school's baseball field, Haley was already there. He couldn't believe the memories that came flooding back. He hadn't stepped foot out here since his high school days. He saw her sitting at the end of the bench in the dugout. With her legs bouncing slightly he could tell that she was nervous. She looked exactly the way she had during those first few games, sitting there amongst them, not sure what to expect. This time it was him who didn't know what to expect.

Then he saw it. She was fidgeting with the ring box, and she wasn't wearing the ring on her finger. His worries came flooding back. He walked into the dugout and approached her slowly.

Haley looked up, "Thanks for coming," she motioned for him to sit next to her.

"I had to know."

"Yeah," Haley shook her head and looked out at the pitcher's mound. Nathan and Lucas had both been pitchers. "I remember one game," Haley began. "It was that first season. It wasn't even here, we were actually over playing Heelan."

Nathan had no clue where she was going with this. He hadn't come to listen to her recount baseball games. But something told him to let her finish.

"You weren't pitching that day," she looked at him, "although most of my baseball memories of you happened on nights you weren't playing," Haley looked out at the field again. "It was a couple of weeks into the season. I'd been to every game, and even had a 'nickname' so to say. But it was as if no one was willing to admit to actually knowing me. I'd been yet to be addressed by name. You were keeping the pitch chart, yeah big surprise, I know. There was a change made, and you needed to know the name of the new player. You looked down the dugout at me and said, 'Hey Haley.' I don't remember what else you said, that was all that mattered to me. Someone DID know my name…not that I had doubts, I had some kind of history with Jake and both Nicks, but you were the first to say it. It made me feel special. All you did was say my name, but it brought rushing back all of those feelings that had been buried for three years."

Haley looked at Nathan again, "After that moments, I was never ever truly able to bury those feelings again."

Nathan looked at her and found himself lost on memory lane, "I don't know that I can pinpoint exactly when it was that I rediscovered the feelings, but I know what it was," he smiled at her. "It was your ability to fit in. You didn't make snide comments, especially when we talked about girls." Then a light clicked on, "That's what it was. We were bad mouthing some girl, I don't even remember who, and I called her a slut. Then I remembered you were there and apologized, not wanting to offend you. And you said, 'It's hard to be offended by a word I use myself.' I didn't know another girl who would openly admit to calling another girl a slut."

"Were you dating Kristy then too?"

"I honestly don't remember," Nathan shook his head, "As fun as this trip down memory lane is, I know that it's not why you asked me out here."

"You're right, it's not." Haley reached for his hands, placed the ring box in them, and then wrapped his fingers around the box. Her fingers lingered on his now closed hands, "I'm going to start with the hardest part."

Looking crushed, Nathan said, "I understand." What he couldn't understand was why she'd shared all those memories, only to tell him he wasn't the one for her.

"I don't think you do," she smiled briefly. "I've made a decision, and I want to be with you, and only you."

"I hope you'll be happy…"

Haley moved her hands to his face and turned him so he was looking right into her eyes, "No, you didn't hear me. I. Choose. You."

Now he was just confused, "But…"

"I can't accept your ring right now. I most definitely see my self married to you in the future, but it's just too soon."

Nathan sat and let the words sink in before wrapping his arms around her, "You have just made me the happiest man alive."

"To hear that you still want to be with me, after everything I put you through makes me happy. I was afraid."

"You haven't told him yet, have you?"

"How did you know?"

"I just did somehow. I need to ask you something else."

"Okay," Haley replied slowly.

"If I had said that I couldn't deal with everything, would you have then just told Lucas that he was your choice, not letting on that I'd turned you down?"

"The thought had crossed my mind, yes. But I couldn't have done that. If you had changed your mind, I would have still given Lucas the same answer. It wouldn't be fair to him, or me to enter back into a relationship based on a lie."

"I love you so much," he kissed her softly, "and I want you to know, that even if you had picked Lucas, I never would have stopped loving you."

Haley stepped away, "Now for the even harder part, telling Lucas. I wish I didn't have to do this." She then turned to look Nathan square in the eye, "Please don't say a word, to anyone, until I talk to him."

"Not even…"

"Not even Jake and Tim. I don't want to take the chance that he'll find out from someone besides me. I'll call you right after I talk to him. Until then, mums the word." With a small peck on the cheek, Haley was off.

Lucas was sitting in the living room watching TV when there was a knock at the door. He could see Haley's car sitting out front. Opening the door, he found her standing there nervously, her back to the door. "Haley?"

She jumped slightly and turned towards him, "Hi."

"Would you like to come in?"

"Sure," she followed Lucas in, sitting across the room from him.

"Can I get you anything?"

"No, thank you," Haley fidgeted with her hands before reaching into the pocket of her oversized hoodie and pulling out the ring he'd given her. Setting it on the table she said, "I can't tale this. I'm really sorry Lucas. It's just that, well, I can't see us having a future together."

"Did you ever?"

"Yes," a tear rolled down her cheek.

"So when did that change?" Lucas tried to bite his tongue, but found it impossible, "Was it Nathan, or Mouth?"

"I think it would have happened no matter what. They were both just stepping stones. I think things were wrong before I ever slept with Mouth. I don't know, maybe deep down that's why I did it. I don't know. But you know that's the only reason you moved in, was to prevent me from straying again. You too knew it wasn't right. And no matter what you said otherwise, you never trusted me after that. You still don't, and I don't think you ever could TRULY trust me again. Not that I blame you. But then, when you told me to go to Nathan, I knew you were having your doubts too."

"I just didn't want to believe that what we had in the beginning had died. You deserve someone better than me, who will love you completely until the end of time. I will always love you, but it could never be enough." Standing up, she started for the door.

"Can I still call you, as a friend?"

"Always," and she slipped out the door, knowing that was probably the last time they would ever talk.

As you all know, or have figures out by now, this is totally alternate reality for our favorite Tree Hill characters. However, what many of you may not know, is that this story is based on real people in my life. I'm Haley. The only things in this whole story that are true, are the feelings I had for these boys (neither of which I ever dated) and the memories in this chapter. Those baseball memories actually happened. Anyway, there are only a few more installments left, so please keep reviewing, and I'll keep updating!