Warnings: This has a depressed Mikey. Some may considerate this OOC, but it made sense to me, as different people react differently to frustration. And it had to be depression for Mikey, the same way it had to be anger for Donnie. Again, this has not been beta-ed, you can expect me to come back on the future and fix it.

Author note: I have narrowed their probable age; they are between eleven and twelve. I don't know why, my brain just say so. Any comment is welcomed!

Part 2: Michelangelo

"Have you seen my small screwdriver?"

"I don't have it."

"That's not what I asked."

I am on my room, on my bed, on my own. I have been on the same position for a while, thinking of nothing, or trying to think of nothing. The truth is, I always have my mind full. The other day Donnie said it works really fast but that I have very short retentive. Then I stared at him until he translated: if I were to face something new, he said, I would probably understand it pretty easily; that is, if enough attention were paid, which happens to be my problem.

Anyway, back to my mind being full, that's how I keep them on their toes, wondering which my next move will be. I always have so many ideas on my head, that paying attention to just one of them seems, I don't know, wrong.

"Mikey."

"I said I don't have it, Donnie."

"And I said that's not what I asked. Mikey, are you sick, or something? You've been acting a little weird lately."

That's it. I don't want him poking and probing on me, as if I were some of the stuff he works at. This family already believes I'm a little insane, if only; I've came to the conclusion that we all are.

"How does it look like?" I jump out of the bed with the goal to lead Donnie out of my room.

"The … what, the screwdriver?" he looks at me trying to determinate if I've lost whatever little brain I had. That's me, a whiz when it comes to changing the subject; he doesn't seem worried any more. "It looks like a screwdriver, what else?"

"Yeah, but how would you describe it? Is it big, small, orange, green, red, purple, blue, brown, yellow, pink, black, white, gray, magenta, tangerine, silver, golden, lime, cinnamon, navy, turquoise, aqua, baby blue, sky blue, royal blue, prune, violet, lilac, maroon? I can't remember any other color, wanna help?" I grin and he has this little smile; we are almost at the door.

"I already told you it was small. It has two principal parts, the one where you handle it and the one where you don't handle it; and is frequently used, as its name says, to screws something to something. You know, building and repairing, as opposed to destroying?"

"That's the problem with you," is out of my mouth and we stop moving, equally shocked.

"What, the building part?"

"No, the description part! None of you ever stop to see how things look like, it is always how you can use them!" it should surprise me the fact that I don't know what I'm talking about, but living with myself all this years have helped to get used to it. "You think of what you can build and Raph of how much damage he can do with it and Leo …"

"Leo tries to determinate if we can get hurt with it or if he would need it later to get us out of problems," he adds softly, pushing me back to my room.

"Or if any of us would need or like it," and I wonder how can I feel so sad and still don't know why. I'm on the bed again, hugging a pillow as if my life depended of it, while my brother tries to find the right thing to say. He is worried again; this is another chance to use one of my diversion tactics.

"Would you die for me?" Shit, that's definitely not what he needs to hear. He blinks, twice, and then one more time, before getting closer and giving me a hug. He is shaking a little, and I hate myself for this. He lets me go and nods while keeping eye contact. God, he is almost crying, but nothing short the end of the world could stop me now.

"And would you …" My voice breaks, and the next words are both a whisper and a sob. "Donnie, would you kill for me?"

Donnie is not an emotional guy, so it scares me a little how many emotions his face shows: surprise, remorse, sadness. Then I'm officially scared, as he settles on really pissed off. Last time he was like this, I tried to cheer him up, which only made things worse. But I've learned, you see? I'm not talking, not moving, and self preservation is the only reason I've not stopped breathing.

"It is Leo, isn't it? What the shell did he told you?" and this is the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me, as his reaction was almost the same the day he was angry with me, when Leo got into the room and Donnie looked at him as if every single wrong thing on the universe was our brother's fault. "When was it, the night Master Splinter made you run with him?"

"Woa, woa, what are you, psychic?" But the joke has no effect at all; at least, not the desired. I can only think of one thing to chill him out. "You haven't answered my question."

"I have never really thought of that," he says after a really long pause, and his voice is calm again. "But I know that killing is not something on my to-do list, no matter the circumstances. I'm sorry, Mikey, but I don't think I would kill for you, any of you"

My smile tells him that I already knew which his answer would be, even before he knew it. I know an explanation is needed, if only to prevent him from breaking his vow and killing Leo, so I motion him to get into the bed with me. He does so, but sits with the wall for support; I do not complain, choosing instead to bury him with pillows and make myself comfortable on his lap. I don't need to look to know he's rolling his eyes.

"So, we can say you remember that Master Splinter punished me?" I start, and then rush before he can say a word. "It was not your fault, bro. I broke your … object, whatever it was. And it really wasn't that much of a punishment."

"You don't like running on the sewers, Mikey."

"No, I don't; but that was a good occasion to spend some time with Leo. Anyway, we had some chit-chat, small talk, nothing serious. He is basically a nice brother, Donnie, you can deny it."

"Sure, that's why you are so depressed right now," he retorts, and I ask him what's that depression thing. He gives me a little list of symptoms and yes, it seems I am depressed. Whatever, I'm not feeling that bad anymore.

"I don't think it was his fault," I finally say, and his snort lets me know he disagrees. Well, if he really wants to know … "I almost get us killed."

"WHAT?"

"Donnie, let me go." My voice sounds so small, I'm sure he didn't hear it. Why else would he keep that deadly grip on both my arms? "Donnie, please, you are hurting me."

"If this is your idea of a joke, Michelangelo, I have to say it is really farfetched." Whatever that means.

"It is not. A joke, I mean. We were returning, and I was trying to convince Leo to give me a little break, when somebody screamed." A shiver runs through my spine as I remember. "He told me to wait while he went up to investigate, but I didn't paid attention."

"Was he in trouble?"

"What, Leo? You are kidding, right?" We both chuckle, and it feels right, if only a little. "No, he had all covered. He didn't even had to fight, just told them the police was coming"

"Them?"

"Four guys, maybe five, and the girl they were attacking. It was then when I … shit, Donnie, I made a mistake." He squishes my shoulders, just a little, but it means a lot for me. "She saw me, Donnie. They didn't, only she, but it was enough. She screamed. God, I'm never gonna forget that scream"

"It's not your fault if people get scared with us, Mikey."

"That's not …" that's not what is bothering me, I try to say but can not. I guess it does bother me, after all. "Hell broke loose, Donnie. They came after us. I don't know how, but Leo managed to get the girl out of there; to the roof, I think."

"He left you alone?"

"I was coping, and he was back before I could blink. And just in time, too."

"What do you mean?" his voice sounds more than a little scared.

"There was this guy, you know? He had a gun." He hugs me again and do not let me go this time. Who he is trying to comfort, me or himself, I can't say. "Leo jumped out of nowhere, Donnie. He almost took that shot for me."

We spend some time in silence, I don't know how much, before he recovers his voice.

"But he didn't, Mikey, he is fine. You both are fine."

"Yes, but then he got mad." He asks Leo? and I nod. "He kicked the shit out of that guy, so fast that I'm sure his brain didn't have the time to register it. And I don't think the other guys had ever run so fast on their lives."

"What happened to the one with the gun?" His voice is a little shaky, but I can't blame him.

"We left him unconscious, but breathing," I hurry to calm Donnie. "I checked, twice. But I think he's gonna spend lotsa time in bed."

"Master Splinter knows?" We both know he is really trying to ask why he didn't hear about this until now.

"I'm sure Leo told him, because he didn't make me go run the next night. I don't know why they didn't told you and Raph."

"Maybe they though you were not ready."

"Maybe. But, Donnie? That's not all." An uncomfortable silence follows, and I just have to break it. "We talked while we came back, and I made him two questions."

Come on, Donnie, you are the clever one.

"The ones you asked me?" I nod. "What did he said?"

"He didn't stopped to think, said Yes to the first one, and hugged me." Donnie hugs me briefly here. "And he said No to the second one, just as fast."

"So you think he wasn't surprised because he had think about this before."

"Yes. And he said something more. He said that he would kill for honor, and to defend what he though right, but only as a last resource." He makes no commentary, so I go on. "Then I got angry and asked him if he loved honor and rightness more than his family."

"Do you have a death wish? Geeesh, Mikey, it's a surprise you are still alive."

"Yeah, I know. Truth is, he wasn't mad, but sad. He made me a question." I mimicked Leo's voice, but it is not funny. "Mikey, do you really want somebody to die because of you?"

"Please tell me you kept your mouth shut." I repeat his words and he seems relieved, until he recognizes I'm joking. "Mikey, you didn't say yes, did you?"

"Man, give me some credit. No, I made a hypothetical question." I want to believe Donnie's stunned face is due to my use of the word hypothetical, but somehow I don't think that's the reason. "The question was, what if he needed to avenge my death."

"I really want to hit you."

"I really want to hit myself, too. But he just said" and I use Leo's voice again, "Mikey, don't go there"

"To the death, not the avenging." Is not a question, as we both know he is right. "As if he had also think about this, and pained him a lot?"

"Something like that." We are quiet again, and I never knew I could be silent so many times on just one day. "What are you thinking?"

"Uh? Oh, I am trying to picture what is going on in his mind. 'S not pretty," he recognizes.

"I know, I've been thinking of it for a while now. No wonder I'm depressed, huh? And now I got you depressed."

When he doesn't answer, I turn just to find him with a maniac grin that would make any loony crazy scientist proud. I usually am fast, but not this time, and before I could even think tickle war, he has me pinned down and laughing like mad. No problem, really, as in the end I manage to drop him off the bed, while a shower of pillows hits him with the force and consistence of a meteorite rain. God, I've missed myself so much. I'm still not good-old-Mikey but I'm almost there.

"We can solve this, baby brother, you'll see it."

I say nothing when he uses the nickname I hate so much. I just want to believe him, but something tells me it will not be easy. I don't want to worry Donnie, and want to stop worrying myself, if only for a while. Because I've been thinking of this more time than he has, I know something that Donnie does not. I know what the problem is, and it frustrates me.

Because Ninjitsu is changing my older brother. And I want him back.