It was a bright sunny morning with rays of sunshine shining down on us. Me and Kyle were sitting on the sidewalks of his house.
"Stan?" my love asked in a serious tone.
"yes?" I replied
"If I died what would you do?" Kyle asked with a small tone of sadness in his voice.
"well…I don't know what I'd do…" I responded curiously
"Well as it turns out I've been diagnosed with cancer and I'm dying…" Kyle said tears now streaming down his face.
Just then my bright sunny morning turned into a dull lifeless morning, "What! You can't die!", I screamed loudly "But you cant leave me here!"
"I'm sorry Stan, its not my fault"
The next couple of months were saddening, knowing that at any moment Kyle could just be, dead. We savored every moment together and when we'd hug or kiss it felt like eternity. We spent one night together just holding on to each other, never wanting to let go even though we know we'd have to sooner or later. When Kyle was in the hospital I was in hell. You don't know what its like to have to watch your loved one suffer in a cold, horrible hospital room. Even though Kyle was the sick one we were both put through hell. Kyle was dying little by little. It was hard, I wish we could go back to a time when the world was a playground and the only diseases we had to worry about were colds.
"Kyle" I asked
"yes Stan" Kyle responded with a small smile.
"Even though your in heaven or hell or wherever jews go…You'll always love me right?", I asked silently…I was surprised Kyle even heard me.
"Stan" He grabbed my hand "I love you way too much, no matter what I go through I'll always love you"
Those words made me burst into tears. I grabbed onto Kyle hugging him tightly, never wanting to let go. Kyle ran his fingers through my hair. I wanted to kiss him, and I did. It was the best kiss ever knowing that no matter what Kyle would love me.
Little did I know that was my last kiss with him.
The next day he was pronounced dead.
When I heard the news I didn't respond. Tears fell down my face. I tried to hold them back but I couldn't. My love was gone never to return. I guess my mom noticed because she pulled me into a hug and whispered into my ear "It's ok to cry Stanely" Then I started sobbing into my moms shoulder, crying so loudly my sister could probably hear me over her old 90's music.
"I…I just love him so much mom…" I said so sloppily through tears it took my mom a moment to comprehend what I said. She just nodded, with tears in her own eyes. We sobbed together for hours.
I will never forget Kyle's last words. I can only hope, that Kyle is watching me, and still knows I love him, much more tha anything in the world.
I wish I could tell him that every time I hear a word that starts with a K I think of him, every single time I feel a breeze of wind I not only think of him…I can almost feel him.
Those last words are like a broken recorder in my mind
'no matter what I go through I will always love you'
"I will always love you too Kyle…always…"