The Scientist
Chapter Three: Farewell and Goodnight
"…Come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start…"
Craig carried Chase's carrier in with him to the living room, Ellie at his side. The little boy was only a day old and already Craig and Ellie could tell he had Emma's eyes, her nose and her hair. Craig turned to Ellie and smiled, saying, "We're home. Chase, this is your new home. You're gonna have a lot of good times and happy memories here," he said as he lifted the baby out of the carrier, kissing him on the cheek.
He was finally a daddy.
He missed his NicoleAlessandraManning, the tiniest baby he had ever seen in his life. The nurses dressed her in a little outfit and took her picture in the NICU after she had died. She didn't look dead; just tiny and frail and peaceful and…just like she was sleeping.
Lullaby and goodnight, in the sky stars are bright…
Emma's voice filled his head then, filling his eyes with tears. Emma was three months pregnant when Ellie lost the baby and Emma was set on having an abortion, but after she'd seen how precious life was, how frail and beautiful and when she held little Nicole in her arms after her passing, Craig could see that Emma changed. She was no longer a frightened girl. She knew that she had a life to live and was waiting for her, same with her baby, that tiny life that rumbled inside her. She saw how precious and beautiful life was, and how quickly it could be taken away.
How true that is.
It took losing Nicole for Emma to decide to keep Chase. It kept losing Nicole for Emma to come to terms with her own pregnancy, to embrace life again, to begin the healing process while all the while helping Ellie and himself with their overwhelming grief.
It took losing Nicole for Emma to entrust baby Chase to them. Emma knew they had been ready for a baby, and would readily welcome Chase into their home. She knew having Chase with them would ease their grief.
Everything happened for a reason. Everybody in life has a purpose, even if they were a tiny little baby that wasn't even born alive. The fact that she had a heartbeat for six months changed everything. The fact that Ellie had gotten pregnant had changed everything, for better or for worse. Things had a funny way of working out, Craig thought as he stared down at the little boy. Even if it took so much heart ache to get there.
XxX
That night, Ellie settled Chase into what had been Emma's old room. She had packed all of Emma's things into the attic, where a staircase was conviently located inside the closet of the nursery, but she had left some of Emma's most precious things out for baby Chase to look at and play with.
Chase's tiny body smelled of fresh baby powder and his hair was shiny and soft, and his body little and warm in his fleece pajamas, huddled against Ellie's chest. He turned his cheek a bit and yawned, writhing in Ellie's arms.
"Tired, little boy?" Ellie whispered, smiling. She sat down in the rocking chair and titled back and forth, back and forth. The whole motherhood role came naturally to her and she grinned down at the little boy who was now soundly asleep. She felt she was years beyond her nineteen at that moment; her heart had been broken so many times, she had finally fell into true love with Craig, gotten pregnant, then married…then lost a child. All in a matter of nearly two years, now.
"Goodnight, to every happy little hour that hold tight, may it keep you thru the winter of a long night…" Ellie sang in a soft, clear voice. The Smashing Pumpkins. Boy was this kid gonna be one hell of a rocker just like his daddy when he got older, Ellie thought with a grin, shifting her arm a bit.
She glanced around the room, memories of Emma filling her head. The two had never really been friends until they were assigned to an article for the Grapevine together, and then just completely bonded. Emma, Ellie realized, wasn't some slut. She was a hurting little girl looking to ease the pain any way she could. So she made a mistake. So what? Ellie understood. Her scars reminded her of that everyday…and to be stronger for Chase and any other children she may have. They were her battle scars, and she had won the war.
Flashback
"Ellie, what do you think of this dress?" Emma stood in front of the dressing room in a pretty turquoise prom dress that billowed out behind her, smiling happily. Ellie laughed, modeling her own choice of a bronze evening gown and turned around. "I think we look absolutely fabulous," Ellie joked, mimicking Paige. "Craig and Matt won't know what hit them. And imagine the look on Paige's face when you come in with Matt!" Ellie laughed again and Emma joined in.
"But what about…" Emma glanced down at Ellie's bare arms and Ellie shrugged. "They're starting to fade. It'll be dark in the hall anyway. I'll be fine." Emma smiled at her, relieved. "I'm so happy, Ellie," she exclaimed, twirling around. "Snake is getting better every day, I'm going to be a senior soon, I have the most wonderful boyfriend in the world…" Emma kept twirling and twirling, her dress flying out around her.
Right into disaster.
Matt. Matt screwed everything up.