Chapter Five: Time to be Your 21

…You don't know how lovely you are…

"Emma Nicole Nelson!" her mother scolded with angry eyes as Emma tried to slip unnoticed into the hallway, but she wasn't that lucky at the moment.

"You stayed after school again and forgot to tell me? This is about the millionth time these past two months! I was worried, Em." Christine's eyes turned into sadness and Emma felt guilty as she slipped the book bag off her shoulders. "Sorry, Mom," she apologized, and Christine just sighed. "I gave you the phone for a reason, Emmy," she stated, using Emma's old nickname and she just nodded in response. "Won't happen again, Mom. Scout's honor." Emma held up her fingers in promise and then made a mad-dash for her room. She couldn't contain her happiness ever since that night she first ran into Matt in the woods, and ever since then they had been meeting after school in the clearing, just talking. Matt would bring a picnic and sometimes they would ride out to the country together, and he had even made a promise of a trip to Ontario soon, and he knew how much Emma loved the clean, active city and the beautiful falls.

She thought she was falling in love…true love, ever since Sean. And it was ridiculous but she didn't care. All that mattered to her was that she felt alive again, while still remaining true to herself. As she lay on her bed, listening to music, she let her mind drift over to the lazy days that they had spent together.

"Matt, thanks for everything. These past weeks have meant everything to me, and…" Matt silenced her with a kiss that sent shivers down her spine, and left her feeling dizzy and dazed afterwards. "Mmm. What was that for?" she whispered against his ear and he smiled at her. "For being you," he responded simply. "For everything that you are, and were, and everything you will be." He took Emma's hand, and dragged her close to him. "Will be, eh? So there's a future for us?" Emma asked with a silly grin on her face as Matt brushed her hair behind her ears.

"Yeah…yeah, I think so, Em. I think I'm…"

"You think that you're in love with me?" Emma whispered, afraid, pleased, and shocked all at once. "Matt, don't. I can't…" she let her voice trail off. Those three little words no man had ever spoken to her and she was afraid of their promise and their meaning that they held, and the fear that someday all of it could be lost. She was afraid of not being enough. She was afraid of being with him and being found out. She was sixteen, he twenty-two, nearing twenty-three…no, she had to end this now. Everything and nothing had gone on long enough.

"Emma…wait." He said quietly, gently, as Emma started to stand up. "I know it sounds sudden, but I mean it. Over the past few months, you've became everything to me. Why can't you see how great you are? You try to…to hide how afraid you are sometimes, I know. But you need to know Emma that you're an amazing, beautiful person and I'm the luckiest guy on Earth."

Emma turned away, tears threatening to spill. "I'm not perfect, Matt." She said simply, her hand going up to her mouth in shame. Matt just shook his head.

"Emma, we all make mistakes. It's okay. Just trust me. Believe me,I'm not perfect either." There was something so sincere in his eyes, in his words, in his tone of voice and in his features that made Emma believe him. In that moment, she knew he wouldn't hurt her. She didn't know how she knew; but she knew he was no Jay or Jordan or any other imbecile for that matter. She felt it in her bones that he meant what he said, but she was still a bit hesitant.

"I can't…say anything back yet. Just take me as I am, Matt. As I come, you know?"

"I understand." He said, and Emma again sat beside him on the soft grass and she leaned into him, closing her eyes.

"Let me know when you're ready." He murmured against her hair and she just nodded, a smile tugging at her lips. "Thank you," she whispered, and Matt bent his head down, grazing his lips with her own and they both laughed.

"Nobody can find out, you know." Emma said, looking into his striking eyes, seriousness in her voice. "They won't." he assured her, taking her hand and kissing her again. Still laughing, placing a little bit of trust in him, Emma got lost in the happiness of the moment, forgetting about Jay and Rick and the shooting and just…everything.

"Wait." Emma cut in, pulling away from Matt. "I don't want to…you know. Not yet. I want to wait a long time." Her eyes were serious and determined and Matt nodded. "Anything, Emma. I understand."

Emma smiled and sighed with happiness as her cell phone rang, pulling her out of her thoughts.

"Hello?" she asked gingerly, still a bit day-dreamy.

"Hey, Emma. This is Ellie. Listen, we really need to get started on that article today. I have band practice with Craig in an hour and I at least wanted to get our ideas sorted out," Ellie told her, and Emma agreed.

"Yeah, sorry Ellie. I've just been busy and all. I'll meet you at the Dot in fifteen," Emma said and told Ellie good-bye, pressing the "end" button. Inwardly, she cringed. The article was on pedophiles-she'd rather forget her experience with Jordan and along with that the fact that she was dating a twenty-two year old man.

He's no pedophile, she thought, pulling on her jacket. He'd never hurt me. I didn't meet him under any creepy, illegal circumstances and I know him, truly know him…I just can't let Ellie, or anyone else for that matter, find out.