"Hi," Camille said, sticking her head into Inara's shuttle. "May I come in?"

Inara was draped elegantly on her couch, reading a book and drinking tea. When Camille spoke, she raised her head and smiled. "Yes, of course. Please, come inside."

Camille entered, looking around her in awe and admiration. "It's beautiful in here. This is really a shuttle?"

"Yes, it is," Inara laughed as she rose, waving Camille onto the couch. "It's also my place of business, so it has to look respectable."

"You mean you..." Camille trailed off, seeing the ornate bed. "So, they just come onto Serenity?"

"No, not usually," she said as she poured another cup of tea. "When we go to a planet, I'll take the shuttle to my clients. Mal will tell me how long we're staying in an area so I don't have to break any appointments."

Camille accepted the tea and gently toed off her shoes. She crossed her legs in front of her and leaned back against the luxurious fabric covering the couch as she thought about it. It was a great idea, actually. Not just for a Companion. Camille like to travel around, and while Garrison usually gave her specific assignments for where she went, sometimes she hung around after a job and got other kinds of work. Having a moving base, like a shuttle on a ship, would be more comfortable and regular than always looking for passage off planet.

"Do you think Mal would rent out the other shuttle?" Camille asked as idly as she could.

Inara shook her head slowly. "Probably not, as he and the crew sometimes use that one. But if you wanted to stay, the room you're in is usually empty. I'm sure you could work something about with him. Do you want to stay?"

Camille lifted a shoulder in a half shrug. "Don't know. Was thinkin' about it. It's a nice ship, nice crew. So, uh, you staying here. It helps out both you and the captain, right?"

"Yes, it allows me to expand my client base and travel freely through the galaxy. And it helps Mal..."

"By making him look respectable?"

"Well," Inara laughed wryly. "Nothing will ever make Mal look respectable, but I do try. And my presence here does help to open some doors so he can get jobs he might not otherwise get."

"I see." She sipped her tea. "How long have you been with Serenity?"

"A little over a year and a half, when you count it all together. I left for a little while, but I'm not suited for a stationary life anymore."

"You could have found another ship."

"Well, this is where my friends are. My family. It's where I belong."

Camille rested her cheek against the back of the couch, watching Inara intently. The woman was so calm and centered and it was so easy to allow herself to fall into that center. "Why did you leave, then?" she asked, gently pressing against Inara's mind, trying to make her drop her guard.

Inara inhaled, averting her eyes. "There were... complications."

"The captain?" Camille said, allowing her voice to lilt like it was a tentative guess. She opened her eyes wider and idly traced a pattern on the silk, trying to look as innocent as she could.

"In a way. He's a fascinating man, and we..." She stopped talking.

She waited a few beats before meeting Inara's eyes. "It'd never work, huh?"

"No." Inara smiled serenely, but her mind was full of bittersweet thoughts.

"But you care for each other. I mean, I've heard what he calls you sometimes, but he does care. I can see that."

"And I care for him. But, I've chosen my path, my vocation. Being a Companion is more than simply being a prostitute. It's almost a religious calling, and I could no more leave it than Sheppard Book could leave his order."

Camille dropped her eyes, nodding. "But what about when you're older?"

"If the time ever comes when I'm not getting as many clients as I would like--and, believe me, it's not age no just beauty that makes a Companion, so I'm not worried, but if the time should come, I'll return to the Academy and teach."

"So, you'd give up a chance of love?"

Inara sighed. "I care for Mal deeply, but..." She stopped talking for a moment, and in that pause Camille heard and saw things about Mal that shook her. When Inara spoke, she simply said, "What I share and spread among all my clients, Mal wants all to himself. And that sort of devotion and love is... it's more than I want to give to one man."

Swallowing her heart that was suddenly beating in her throat, Camille said, "So, Mal's really selfish, huh?"

"Not at all. Mal only wants what he deserves. A woman who sees him as the center of her world, just as he'd see her as the center of his. That sort of devotion is... quite attractive in a man, and I'm flattered that I was almost that woman. But I can't give it back. I can't do it for him."

"He thinks you're a coward," Camille blurted, blinking in surprise. "So do you."

Inara's eyes narrowed. "I don't know what Mal thinks," she said carefully. "As for me I suppose, yes, in my darker thoughts I do wonder why I can't allow myself to love one man."

Damn. She was cagey now, alert. She could tell something was going on and was suspicious. Cautiously, Camille eased herself from Inara's mind, cursing herself for being such an idiot. She hadn't meant to say anything she shouldn't know, but she'd been so surprised by the knowledge, it'd just come out.

"I, uh, before Roger. I had boyfriend kind of like that," Camille obfuscated quickly. "It scared me to death, thinking someone could love me that much. So, I left."

"And do you think that's why you got into an abusive relationship?" Inara asked, eyebrow raised.

Oh, right. Camille had come clean about all this. "Um," she said nervously, sitting up. "Okay, there wasn't a Roger."

Inara nodded knowingly, and then said, "That doesn't mean there might not be a pattern of making bad choices in your life. You chose that cover story for a reason."

"Yeah, because it was the one that the captain seemed most comfortable with."

Inara inclined her head, looking thoughtful. "Perhaps that is all. But still. There just seems to be more to your story than that."

"I was a dancer," Camille said, a little stiffly. "I was hired to do a job on Persephone. It didn't go the way I planned, and I got knocked around a bit."

"By Admiral Neela."

"Yes."

"See, from everything I know about him, he was a good man, quite unlikely to hurt anyone. I don't understand why you felt the need to kill him."

Camille sighed and pushed her bangs from her forehead. "He wasn't. A good man. And he hurt lots of people, only he managed to keep it hidden." She took a deep breath and then, in much greater detail then she'd used with Mal, explained exactly why Admiral Neela deserved to die.

By the time she was finished, Inara looked pale and shaken. "You said... you said that Garrison had given him a chance."

"He did. He offered first to take over management of the colony, but allow the taxed and everything the colony would earn to go directly to the admiral, with only a small management fee to himself. Or, rather, the person he ultimately put in charge. When that didn't work, Garrison tried one more time, only this time threatening the admiral, to show him what could happen should he choose not to relinquish control or help the colonists. Again, Admiral Neela ignored the warning, thinking himself untouchable. And so I was sent in. Garrison had already gotten someone to infiltrate Admiral Neela's staff in order to alter his papers so, in the event of his death, ownership of the colony would be put up for auction with the proceeds going to his family. Then he sent me in."

"Why you? Why not the person who was on Neela's staff."

"He wasn't in the position to do the job. Besides; if something went wrong, suspicion couldn't be cast on him. He's too... public for that." Camille shrugged. "My organization is pretty complex, and we have in different levels of society. I'm a spook; I don't really exist. The man who was at Neela's does, and he can't afford to be placed under arrest."

"Can you?"

Camille smiled bitterly. "No, I can't. It's even more dangerous for me. But my assignments rarely put me in that kind of danger. I'm very well trained and know how to disappear."

"That's a useful talent," Inara remarked. "But I think it has some downsides."

"Oh?"

She nodded. "I think that, once you get in the habit of disappearing, it's very hard to stop, even when you find something--or someone--worth staying around for."

"Yeah, well, I already thought I had, but he didn't want me." She shouldn't be telling Inara these things, shouldn't be talking about any of it. That was the problem with going by her true name; it was too easy to slip out of whoever she was pretending to be and reveal too much of herself. Although, she'd never been this bad.

"Who?"

"What?"

"Who didn't want you?" Inara asked gently.

She sighed. "I don't... It was Garrison."

"Your boss?"

"My everything. He rescued me from the awful place I was being kept at when I was eighteen. He gave me back my life. He taught me what it was to be a woman. He taught me how to fight, how to shoot, how to dance, how to think circles around an enemy. He taught me how to use my gifts to blend in, to disappear by assuming the guise of what people around me wanted to be. He taught me how to love but, when I asked him to love me back, he pulled away from me. So I left and started doing what I do now."

Inara frowned. She seemed to be deep in thought as she poured herself another cup of tea. Then, she said, "Maybe he did what was best for you."

"Right. I think he did what was best for him," Camille said flatly.

"Perhaps. But... for anyone, but especially for one as young as yourself, it's easy to fall in love with someone who's saved you. It's one of the oldest type of stories, the hero and the damsel. It sounds to me, though, that he's not taking advantage of the natural grateful feelings that come out of being saved. He's turned you into a hero in your own right, and he's set you free to follow your own heart. To find your own heart, if you should choose."

"Then why does it feel so much like rejection?"

She smiled gently. "Because you are young. And it does hurt." Inara took a deep breath and said, "But it seems to me that you're beginning to... to see other options again. You're letting Garrison and seeing other options. Other people as possible lovers in the very technical sense of the word, not just for sex."

Was that a come on?

Camille inched a little closer to Inara. "Oh?" she said, eyes lidded coyly. "Do you think so?"

Inara laughed. "Not me, sweetheart, although I'm sure it would be nice. You're a very lovely girl. But it's not me you're looking at, not like that. Not really."

Oh, great, now she was a mind reader, Camille thought grumpily. "Okay." She scooted away from Inara and said, "Then who do you think I am looking at? River?"

"Oh, no. God, are you?"

"No. No, although Simon and Mal both are under the impression. Well, I told Mal that I wasn't interested in her, but I really don't think Simon would believe me if I went up to him and kissed him." She shook her head, thinking about the ti chi thing that morning. It really wasn't her fault that she and River both had sounded so sated; that's what working out with another psychic did. It's why Camille had invited River to exercise with her; it was very grounding and centering to connect with another person on that psychic level, and Camille didn't get to do it often while she was traveling. And River needed it; she spent so much time drugged on something that only suppressed the problem and feeling like she was about to shatter, she needed to be grounded.

Unfortunately, a lot of times, being grounded and relaxed often made you sound like you were sexually satisfied, especially if you had a dirty mind. Which, apparently, both Simon and Mal did. They needed to get laid.

"You're very close to River, though. It's hard to miss." Inara set her tea cup down and pressed her palms together. "Are you like her? I mean, were you at the Academy."

Camille was out of her seat and halfway to the door without even realizing she'd moved. Her heart was thundering in her ears, and it was such a stupid, stupid reaction, because Inara didn't know anything and...

"Camille!"

Camille snapped backwards unexpectedly and crashed into Inara, who'd grabbed her by the wrist. Regaining her balance quickly, she pivoted around to Inara, bringing her right arm down in a hammer punch. Inara grunted and released her grasp; as Camille moved to punch her in the stomach, though, Inara kicked her with a wide sweeping kick, landing on her chin.

"Calm down!" Inara said as she smashed her elbow into Camille's neck, keeping her down. "I'm not going to tell anyone. I'm not going to turn you into the Alliance. I'm your friend, Camille, believe me. I would never do anything to hurt either you or River. But you need to calm down."

She moaned softly as her monitor buzzed insider her skull; Inara had managed to knock it hard. It rested right on her spine, nestled under her skull, and when it was hit, there was pain.

"I won't run," she said, rubbing the monitor. "I don't know what I was thinking."

"You were scared." She got off Camille and sat next to her, gently running her fingers through Camille's hair.

"Yeah, but, it's not like I've never been found out before. Besides. Where was I going to go?" Although, even as she said it, she knew. She'd been planning on taking down Wash, locking herself in the cockpit, and flying to the nearest planet. It wasn't the best plan, but she would have been able to improvise as needed along the way.

"Maybe you panicked because you've been letting your guard down a lot around us. That doesn't seem to be something you do very much?"

Camille sat up, still rubbing her neck. "I'm really good at blending in. Becoming new people. I never break character, but River... River's fucking me up big time."

"Why? Because she's psychic?"

"No. I mean... well, no. Because, I have to help her, and in order to do that, I have to let everyone know who I really am. So, I'm slowly breaking out of the character Mal gave me so when I know I'll be able to help River, it won't be such a shock." She looked at Inara, heart pounding. "You can't tell."

"No, of course not." She took Camille's hands in her. "Your hands are so cold, sweetie," she said, rubbing them gently. "Were you at the Academy?"

"No. But I was somewhere like it. Just, there was a different focus for the group I was in." She closed her eyes against the sharp pains in her head; Garrison's doctors had been geniuses when they'd come up with the monitors to help regulate the kid's medication, but they were in such an incontinent place. Unfortunately, they didn't work anywhere else; they needed to be close to the brain but outside the skull, hence the placement. They didn't hurt all the time, but if they were knocked...

"I'm going to lie down for a bit," Camille said, pulling away. "You got me good. I'm highly ranked in martial arts, and you managed to take me down."

Inara rose as Camille did, looking sympathetic. "It's because you weren't thinking clearly. Otherwise, I'd never be able to beat you. You're much faster than I."

"Yeah, well, didn't do me much good." She smiled and turned to leave the room. At the door, she hesitated and said, "Thanks, Inara. For your ... friendship."

"You're welcome, Camille. And I thank you for yours."

She smiled wanly and left the room. Her hand was on her head, and her eyes were mostly closed as the pain in her temples increased.

"Oh," she said, all the air in her lung expelled sharply when she ran into an unyielding body.

"Whoa, you all right?" Mal said, arms coming around her as Camille teetered unsteadily.

She put her hand on his chest to steady herself. When she looked up at him, she found herself blushing, for some strange reason. "Um. Yeah, I'm fine," she said, rubbing her hand slowly over his shirt. It was soft and thin, like it'd been washed so many times, all that was left was the barest, oldest, most frayed threads. Beneath it, his heart beat, slow and steady, thrumming through Camille as it did. "Thanks."

"No problem." He didn't let her go. "Whatcha doin' up here?"

"Visiting Inara. She invited me to stop by to talk."

"Wasn't that about your boyfriend?"

"Just because he doesn't exist doesn't mean that she and I can't talk. Unless you have a problem with it?"

Mal shook his head. "Course not. What's this?" He touched her chin gently.

Despite his gentleness, Camille hissed. "Owe."

"What happened? That weren't there before when you go the others."

Damn. "I'd heard that Companions got trained to fight, so I asked Inara to show me some moves. I got a mite too close, and she landed one on me." She smiled in self-deprecation. "Shoulda been more careful."

"She shoulda been." His eyes flicked to the shuttle, and he looked like he might storm in there and have a few words with Inara.

"Captain, can you help me back to my room?" she asked, drawing his attention back. "My head aches, and I want to lie down."

"The doc can give you somethin'... no, that's right. He can't." Mal sighed and let her go, keeping a hand on her elbow. "Anything I can do to help the pain?"

She shook her head slowly, holding it with her hand again. Holding her head didn't do any good, but it comforted her to know that if it fell off, at least she might catch it. She leaned on Mal more than she needed to as they climbed down the stairs to the passenger rooms, but she wanted him to feel like he was needed. Besides, he felt nice and smelled nice, and she liked the way his heartbeat strong and sure. It was comforting. "I'll just take a nap," she said. "Breathe a little. You know they always tell you to breathe when you're hurtin," she added with a grin.

"Hey, you heard me." Mal smiled at her, pleased. "I thought that maybe you were too out of it when you came onboard."

"I heard you. And thanks. I mean, I don't think I ever got a chance to really thank you." Camille pulled away as they made it to her room. Standing nervously in her doorway, she said, "Thanks for... helpin' me when the doc was sewing me up. You didn't have to."

Mal ran his hand through his head and shrugged. "Weren't no one else there to do it."

"I'm sure Zoe coulda held me down just fine."

"Maybe."

Camille smiled tentatively. "Besides. I mean the fact that you still took me on. You didn't have to. You could have given me back my fare and put me back on the Eavesdown Docks. Hell, I weren't even on the ship yet, not really. You carried me on." She took a half step closer and put her hand on his chest again. "You didn't have to."

"What, you think I'd leave a perfectly good passenger with perfectly good money behind? You don't know me very well."

"Actually," she said, smiling fully at him. "I think I do." Then, before her brain kicked back in and stopped her, she leaned forward, pressed a kiss into his lips, and then stepped back. "See you later, Captain." Heart thundering, she stepped inside her room and closed the door firmly, wondering what exactly it was she thought she was doing.